prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

otimize:
I have
taken time to read several comments that you have posted as a reply to posts on this thread. Forgive me but i dont trust your desires. Best advice thou, tell him you feel your marriage to him is a big mistake, show him this thread on nairaland, or occupy yourself with the things of God, cus u look like someone with so much fleshy thoughts.

skyfullofstars:


I'm not, I'm suffering as hell.

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

AdaEkube:

From her comments she said he has tried to get their papers in d past bt to no avail.r u saying she should leave her marriage or start sleeping around or wat??.

otimize:
I have taken time to read several comments that you have posted as a reply to posts on this thread. Forgive me but i dont trust your desires. Best advice thou, tell him you feel your marriage to him is a big mistake, show him this thread on nairaland, or occupy yourself with the things of God, cus u look like someone with so much fleshy thoughts.

Jorussia:
That's a true situation of things here,my brother.prinwa has no reason to complain,because, there are many ladies whose husbands are oversea and they fasting and praying day and night to see their husbands once in a year,with no breakthrough at all.

mbulela:


Are you kidding me?
She has no reason to complain?
Marriage is not bondage o
No woman should be put through such hell consciously.

Jorussia:
If you are not ready to endure hard times in marriage, you better don't get marry.

mbulela:

I hear you but marriage is not synonymous with hard time.

tellwisdom:
Look at you. Why bother when you can give me a call to come keep u. Do u even have big yansh to start with?

iamnemo:
My dear. I can relate to your feelings of deep sadness, frustration and loneliness which can hover over you like a veil when you are in a long distance relationship.

If you feel that you belong together, hang in there even when loneliness threatens to overwhelm you. Many long distance couples have found that all the emotional turmoil that they went through while they were apart was worth it in the end. Don’t listen to others that say a long distance relationship can’t succeed. If there’s enough love there and both of you are willing to put in the effort to make it work, anything is possible.

Put your mementos of your relationship in a scrapbook. Create a page of all the things you love about your man like funny or sweet things he’s said to you. Going through your scrapbook when you are feeling down will be an instant boost of happiness and it will remind you why this relationship is worth it.

And don't just sit at home. Hang out with friends as long as you are putting time in your relationship and nurturing it, you don’t have to hang up your social butterfly wings. Go out and spend time with your friends doing fun things that you enjoy. It’s a good idea to check in with your husband throughout so he’s a part of the activities even though he can’t be there.

I know this won't be like having him there. But I think it can help you cope.

But in future, this is the wrongest place to seek advice. Especially of this nature. Just look at this comment in quote and see the amount of likes and shares. Its sickening to say the least.

Talk to your husband instead. You both know why you are doing this.
Goodluck and hang in there.

prinwa:
I never wanted to marry obodo oyibo husband, I have always wanted to marry someone in Nigeria. And he never told me it was going to be like this. Most times I feel I rushed into it.

kaorama:


Lecturer. What do u need that for? Some people think upside down.

Amelian:


Honestly I laughed hard when u made this statement. Of course he won't tell u in plain terms it will be like this. This part of the arrangement is always hidden until the lady has kids.
One of my female friends, is about to fall into this type of Trap. When I explained the scenario of exactly what you are missing in your marriage , thats what she will also miss and go through. She said she will be busy with work and when children rolls in, she won't even think of companionship or having someone to warm her bed in the lonely nights, I looked at her in disdain and asked her , pease tell me, are u a robot? That u will see and be with your husband once in a year.. My dear I give you , just 2years, its either u pack out or u have a lover warming your bed and keeping u company... U r a full blooded human being, period!
She no marry the guy again.. Its better for her to be single and free than to be married and caged , living like a single mother... I say single mum even better pass her situation.. Simple put a caged mum without warmth or companionship.. What a life!

marychommy:
My dear is not easy but will have to tell you this 'U ARE LUCKY ' do you kn how many couples dat have lived separately for a long time? Some haven't seen their husbands for about 4 to 7 years, you are here complaining about him visiting once in a year and you being able to travel and be with him. Where was he wen he got married to you probably he is living abroad what about those dat married their husbands here and things got tough for dem he decided to travel and have not been back for a long time my dear God loves you. I do understand but he is der doesn't make him happy you are even more happy than him cos you are here with your kids and he is der all alone.

Obierika:


Why should a married couple be apart for 7 whole years?!

Cutehector:
Though I am 100 percent not a fan of divorce but ur case is an exception...

tellwisdom:
Look at you. Why bother when you can give me a call to come keep u. Do u even have big yansh to start with?

jahsharon:


It's obvious that you are suffering from generational inherited psychiatric disorders.

Who be this??. Is your coochie itching u