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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. (53739 Views)
I'm Tired Of My Marriage!!! Please Help / Long Distance Marriage And Trying to conceive a baby / Can Long-distance Marriage Work Out Between Newlyweds? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by itoese(m): 11:37am On Jul 31, 2015 |
Talk to him consistently about the need for the family to be together. Children need both parents to grow up to become responsible adults. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by omoyemirally(f): 11:46am On Jul 31, 2015 |
prinwa:almost dsame with the story of a close sister. Anyways,am sure ur husband really wants u around. Even if he doesn't miss u much,am quite sure he must be missing his children. Things are not just working the way u want it. U av to endure and support him with prayers. Very soon, all will be well. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by shaybebaby(f): 11:54am On Jul 31, 2015 |
If she has to raise the kids by herself, satisfy herself sexually alone, live by herself alone, go to bed alone, when upset, deal with the emotions alone without the physical presence of her loved one, if the kids are ill, cope with the emotional turmoil alone without the physical support of the husband, then how does the situation qualify as Marriage and if it indeed such? If she can pay her bills and raise her kids financially by herself, then I'm afraid the marriage bit is redundant. She is doing everything else alone so why deny herself the chance of happiness by waiting and praying. If she moves on, it won't affect the kids.. It changes nothing. He was never physically present to begin with. 6 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by innervoice(m): 11:57am On Jul 31, 2015 |
shaybebaby: You have asked very important questions but what other options does she have? |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Nobody: 11:58am On Jul 31, 2015 |
shaybebaby: One wonders. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ishar(f): 12:26pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
Brandnew2:you talk like its a situation you will be comfortable with if you wer in her shoes. Na wao. The way some people reason is quite amazing. Somethings are beyond sex and intimacy toys. Will the intimacy toy contribute to the life of their kids? Sometimes you just want your opartner to be there, to talk, hold, comfort, connect. By the way physical sex is better than the intimacy toy. You prolly have a toy that hugs , comforts and kisses you. Do you also have a toy that you talk to , a toy that the kids can call daddy or mummy when they need that attention. Distant dating is even an issue, how much more marraige. GRAB A SIT PLEASE !!! 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by stillreal(m): 12:44pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
1- He probably doesn't have the papers 2-He doesn't want you there I don't see how you can have a wife and kids, have the papers to bring them over and still haven't ? doesn't add up at all. The fact you have got a kid makes it easier for him to bring you over, so your husband is not totally honest with you . If i got married to a girl in naija, i swear within 5months shes gonna be coming over to me. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by fireforfire: 1:27pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
prinwa: dnt mind dis guy o. all his response heee so far is useless. im sure hea not married so doesnt know what it is to b lonely |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by shaybebaby(f): 1:32pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
innervoice:The ones that she creates for herself. There comes a time when you have stop waiting and act. If it is finances that is the main crux of why the husband cannot be with her, then she needs to start shouldering some of that so as to have a case to end the separation. She can look for avenues to join him, independent of his efforts, I mean if God forbid he dies, she will need to step up. Stepping up means stepping up for herself and her kids and stop waiting for a man to give her the life she wants. It would either make it easier to be together or if they have to go their separate ways, she is in a better position because of her foresight. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by innervoice(m): 1:53pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
shaybebaby: Very pragmatic approach. I like your attitude. Keep it up lady. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by free37: 2:20pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
Hmm... |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by josite: 2:44pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
dont accept you are locked in,in a no win situation.brace up.get a good job.look for good money and start selling frozen food items at the entrance of a good,busy,affluent estate in lagos.when you are financially strong enough to take care of your kids by yourself.tell him to go ahead and marry his mum and Bleep her once in a year. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by forhereyesonly: 3:21pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
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Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Enoyoh: 3:35pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
I feel your pains because am in a similar situation. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Skmoda360(m): 4:00pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
tellwisdom:how can people like this thing? |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by slightlyMad(f): 4:01pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
cococandy: gbam! this babe just hit the nail on the head. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Skmoda360(m): 4:22pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
skyfullofstars:I think you are already cheating from my own point of view.... |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by jennifer22(f): 4:26pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
@prinwa ,just keep praying to God to bless him believe me he is also bothered too ,dont listen to satanoid who are asking u to cheat .God will help u 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by tellwisdom: 4:39pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
ekamavictor: [color=#000099]I don't deal with idiots like u. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Goldenboy007(m): 4:41pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
There are times we don't want to accept reality And let me add that I hate hypocritical advice. Your Expectation He is working hard and thinking of you and the kids only. He has the fear of God and he has good intention for not letting you join him. Reality A married man that claims he can do without having sex in 3 months should be examined. Probably living a double life. You knew of this situation before you got married to him now reality has dawn on you. Lesson for others. If you women are good about holding "body" for 6 months, men don't have that gift. Even if he doesn't have papers wherever he is, he should have saved enough Or invested in himself to come home now. Nothing good comes from long distance relationship. Let him give you a time frame for him to round up his hustling and come home. Salvage what is left of your marriage. May God give you wisdom. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by noblegrex: 4:57pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
gynazo:may God help us all,cos life is full of demands n want. U have 1,u want 2,u get 2,u want 3,then u get 3 u still want four n on n on n on. No 1 gets it all. If u ask Dangote or bill gate they still wants 1 thing or d other.not that want is bad but we've got to b careful with what we want n above all, b contenteous cos no 1 got it all.people may not knw that. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by skyfullofstars(f): 5:10pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
Skmoda360: I'm not, I'm suffering as hell. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by LastProphet: 5:54pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
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Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ibedun: 5:56pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
shaybebaby: Listen to this one. Na so women dey make mouth "move on". Move on to where? Ones the area boys or miracle pastors get into her pants a few times what will happen next is to dump her and her children. By the time she has been sampled by a few guys and husband don hear...........she go see cry no be small. Abeg plead with your husband and find a compromise that works for you both. Otherwise na you go suffer and lose respect even from those children o! 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by shaybebaby(f): 6:25pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
ibedun:Stop trying to use fear as a means of control. She is already unhappy, even if her future is uncertain, what is certain in this life? Who knows what tomorrow will bring? However in the present, she is not happy so that is starting point to trying to do differently by changing her mindset. She is not a victim except she places herself as such. Her life is hers alone, even the kids will eventually grow up and live their lives. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by fpeter(f): 6:44pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
Don't listen to the advise of people who wont deal with the consequences of your decision. Check your email, i sent you a PM...we could talk more if you so desire...I am a lady like you. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by fpeter(f): 6:46pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
spikezz: Haba...that is so not true. if he is a legal immigrant he can of course take his wife to the UK. read the UK immigration laws on their website. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ibedun: 6:47pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
shaybebaby: Ok o......the door is there and she is free to take it. I am a man and I know 99% of the time we approach a lady getting into her juicy pit is foremost in the mind. All these paying attention, baby sitting, paying your bills and all the "stress" is something for the 1%. This is sadly the trend all over the world of today, Islamic countries included. Have you seen the divorce rate in the north lately? She is welcomed to go free for all if she likes. Who wants to spend the rest of his life banging and taking care of a woman with someone else's children. This is not fear to control anyone but the harsh reality out there. Your choice darling. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Nobody: 8:48pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
prinwa:I see you have a genuine situation right there, but please do not take advice you get from this forum seriously. At best, it will only help fast track a divorce leaving only you at the receiving end. You may wish to carefully think about that later. For some reasons, i have felt too lazy to try to articulate what i wish to suggest for you to do under the circumstance, however, as a general note, kindly engage with your husband in an open conversation and simply help him realise your point of view. Do this without any intention to pressure him into some hasty decision making; coupled with this, assure him that he has your support and that you have his, but most of all, your family's best interest at heart. Now don't expect an instant miracle after this, but you must try to sustain this process and keep his mind engaged in this manner. In the end, you would be happy you took this route. Finally, do not make the mistakes of taking what might in the meantime appear to you as an "easy decision", avoid extra-marital affairs for your own health and peace of mind, as well as, those of your kids. See your situation as a challenge, resolve to overcome it and make this story an example that will inspire many after you! I wish you the very best in your marriage and never give up! 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by prinwa(f): 8:55pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
konvict0111:Thanks alot, but he is not the type that listens to me. He doesn't understand what I am going through. |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Nobody: 9:28pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
prinwa:Sure, I could infer that he might be that kind of person. Still try to have a bit of patience with him. At times, in the life of a man, there are things one might not be willing to share, until at last, victory is won! I know this sounds a bit like a parable, yet, I hope it explains to you how difficult it is to put things across in certain situation and context. Maybe this is your husband's dilemma,or, maybe not. But how would it interest you if I said that you husband might be thinking about this situation and feels more disturbed than you are. What if through the years your understanding and support is what has kept your man encouraged moving forward. My dear, it should count for something if your husbands comes from europe "only once in a year" to see you and the kids, or, that he lives in far away europe and acknowledges that he has a family back home and tries to live up to this by sending something for your welfare and the well being of your God given kids. I accept these may not be all there is to life, just as I do not object that your situation could be better than what currently obtains. The fact that I have tried to stress in my long and I hope, not too boring, episode is that you must learn to look on the brighter side of things. Just think of the jibes people, generally, try to put up with everyday, all in a bid to survive. People go to work, get insulted but continue to work hard and nurse ambition. If we work this hard for the other affairs of life, why not for our marriage. I am sorry this tough for you, madam, but give it your all, recondition your mindset and satisfy yourself that you did all you could to salvage your marriage but failed. Although, I am convinced you will not fail as I see that this road is set to make all the difference for you and your family, if you factor that fortunes always favour the brave and that where there is a will, there is a way! Again, I wish you all the best! Konvict0111 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by prinwa(f): 10:14pm On Jul 31, 2015 |
konvict0111: |
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