₦airaland Forum

My response to edimina's post about his ordeal with his wife in the UK got some atrention on the thread and someone suggested I make it a standalone for others to learn from. Here is:

TheGreatIYANU:
Lot's of permutations on here, but the FACT is this - the man is not RESPECTED by his partner.

Bible never even instructed women to love their husbands. That instruction was given to men because God knows his creature

If you understand the psyche of women, you will know for a fact that the way men process love is totally different from the way a woman processes love. In the psyche of a woman, every woman, love is conditional. Whether it be your appearance, her perception of your ability to protect and provide for her offspring, etc, her love will rise and fall on various conditions.

It is only men who can love the person, not perception. When you start from here, you will finally come to the conclusion that to get a loyal partner and build a solid home is not by her beauty, intellect or current predisposition towards you.

The most important thing to look out for when choosing a woman that would ride by your side forever is her upbringing. Examine critically, the dynamic between her parents and family in general.

That is exactly what will play out in your own family.

A lady who is indoctrinated in a family where moral uprightness (NOT only religious) and character are upheld will NEVER cheat on you, even if you are the poorest man in your community and she works as PA to Dangote .

On the other hand, a lady who is nurtured in a family with lax moral values and limited to no focus on character development will cheat at the slightest change in condition (or perception) -> dis-attraction from you, attraction to- or attention from- another male.

There are rich wives and wives of rich men in Abuja who have a harem of f*ck boys on call.

There are also wives of middle class guys who are grinding and hustling with their husbands to give their kids an excellent future. These ones have zero time for nonsense. If you as a man move to them anyhow, you will be lambasted and violently tucked into your place. It is even her husband that will tell her to take it easy with you.

All this talk of get money or be the boss or this or that is meaningless when it comes to the actual psyche of a woman.

You can work frigging hard, submit your entire salary to your wife and even lay down your life for her and all that effort will go un-appreciated to a woman with zero values.

On the other hand, you can go about you daily hustle, contribute your quota and your wife brings hers as well to the table. She will adore you, love you, respect you and even become your driving force to greater achievement.

More often than not, you can tell which category a lady will fall if you know what to look for.

If you are able to overcome the cloud of sexual desire, you will see her for who she is more clearly.

This is why even though I am a servant of God and Pastor, I sometimes lean towards the school of thought that supports co-habitation before marriage. You'd be able to see and assess where the VALUES of your wife-to-be lie and make your decision whether to go ahead or not.

However, God is still in the business of directing His children. If you are a man with vision and purpose, after God's heart, His kingdom and godliness, He will never send Jezebel your way.

Marriage na darkness market.

Some folks can pretend and act the part until they get married to you and have a couple of kids.

Then you will wonder if this was the same person you married.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtained favour from the lord. So a wife is a rarity...women are common place.

otipoju:
Marriage na darkness market.

Some folks can pretend and act the part until they get married to you and have a couple of kids.

Then you will wonder if this was the same person you married.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtained favour from the lord. So a wife is a rarity...women are common place.

I concur with all you said, but marriage is not darkness. Some men have become great because of whom they married. A family friend in Abuja got his total life turn around after marrying a girl he met as a secretary. He was a hustler, called her company for some issue, she picked, he laid his complaint but loved her voice.

Asked for her number, she refused so he travelled from PH to Abuja to meet her.

Few weeks after they got married, hustling guy from PH got a contract. This was GEJ's period. The doors that opened for that man, till date, he does not joke with the well being of his wife.

Whether it's spiritual, grace or she just gingered him, I do not know. All he keeps saying, God used his wife to push him to destiny.

Marriage can be blissful but many are blinded by lust, and so cannot decipher the person they're with.

It goes downhill from there.

TheGreatIYANU:
I concur with all you said, but marriage is not darkness. Some men have become great because of whom they married. A family friend in Abuja got his total life turn around after marrying a girl he met as a secretary. He was a hustler, called her company for some issue, she picked, he laid his complaint but loved her voice.

Asked for her number, she refused so he travelled from PH to Abuja to meet her.

Few weeks after they got married, hustling guy from PH got a contract. This was GEJ's period. The doors that opened for that man, till date, he does not joke with the well being of his wife.

Whether it's spiritual, grace or she just gingered him, I do not know. All he keeps saying, God used his wife to push him to destiny so marriage can be blissful but many are blinded by lust and so cannot decipher the person they're with.

It goes downhill from there.

"Darkness market"I meant you never really know what you are getting.

Any man or woman who meets a partner that they are aligned on many fronts has indeed obtained favour from God.

The worst is to have a partner who is secretly competing with you. Your own don done be that.

otipoju:
"Darkness market"I meant you never really know what you are getting.

Any man or woman who meets a partner that they are aligned on many fronts has indeed obtained favour from God.

The worst is to have a partner who is secretly competing with you. Your own don done be that.

Ah... lol okay. Well, still, if you 'shine your eyes', you will know who you're with. No matter how good or perfect an actor/actress is, their nature must shine through in certain situations. Not many, but in few occasions, their true self will show itself. It is up to the discerning ones to pick the hint and run away or run with