You may be wondering what madness drove me to this but it isn't madness but a deep rooted depression that built up for over 15 years.

I'm 31 going on 32. A lot went wrong for me in my life. Some were mistakes of my doing while others were largely financial constraints for my family. I attended a primary school and secondary schools that would be the envy of many parents. I first realised something was wrong when I was sent home from school for inability to pay school fees. I was 16 and in SS3 in a full boarding school. My fees in 2008 was about 600k+ a term. My father rallied and got it paid so I could graduate. Parents tend to shield their children when there are financial problems so I was oblivious of it. I saw that whenever I brought brochures of schools abroad to my father, he'd ignore them. I had anticipated like many of my mates in school to further our education in the US, UK or Canada. It was when i came back to school to get my WAEC results that my dad informed the principal that I'd be applying to Yaba College of Technology. I was devastated but not deterred. I believed I could still achieve a lot there because I was bright and had a super result. I didn't write SAT or IGCSE but I thought I might write either a year after or do A levels.
That year, I wrote Poly JAMB before it was merged with regular university JAMB. I passed my Poly JAMB and was admitted into Yaba College of Technology. This is where my problems started. My now late p
maternal uncle was a student there back then and was told to monitor when the list of admitted students were posted. For some reason, he said my name didn't come out in the first, second, third and supplementary admission lists. After much probing, it was found out that my name was in the first list and the time it was discovered was well into the 1st semester so the admission was forfeited. I tried again the next year for UNILAG but I didn't get admitted for whatever reason UNILAG knows because I passed JAMB and Post JAMB. By this time, we could barely pay our rent and were barely getting by. I grew up a butter kid so I didn't have that hustle spirit. I just felt things would get better but I got a job at a business centre as a typist. Years passed doing one odd job to the other. School wasn't an option for me at this point mabecause we simply couldn't afford it and my siblings were still in secondary school. It was private but affordable. I desperately needed to up my game and I honestly believed it was up to me to uplift my family again.
I got so depressed because I wasn't heading anywhere. I owed more than half my salary before it was paid so saving was never really an option. I was just getting by. By this time, I was working at a petrol station as a fuel attendant. I strived not to cheat people and this made me the most hated amongst my colleagues. We were from vastly different backgrounds and upbringing and it showed. I couldn't hide it even if I tried. If I took a break, someone would sell from my pump to ensure I got shortages. My shortages piled up to about 50k and I cried bitterly. I later got admitted into a maritime school but couldn't complete my studies because of finances. I took up shift jobs and all my dreams and aspirations disappeared at this point cos all I wanted was to survive. I begun smoking cannabis which at the time seemed a great help to me at the time as it helped me accept my life condition. I was introduced to Yahoo but I despised the idea of scamming people. I just wasn't brought up like that. I instead took up selling cannabis as it seemed like an honest hustle even though I was aware of its illegality. This also didn't work for me because I just wasn't cut out for that kind of life.
At 29, with only WASSCE to my name. I wasn't getting any reasonable job offers. I hated my self and my life. In all of this, things didn't get better for my family either. We were a shadow of ourselves. Friends and family who would literally mob us daily were no where to be found. This was worse because both my parents were kind of breadwinners in their respective families. I would usually see my former schoolmates on social media living the dream, my dream. 90% of my mates were abroad and working. Some had married oyinbo and started cute families. The ones that didn't school there went to private unis here in Naija and are doing well. They travel whenever they please. I've seen two of my mates making front page on Nairaland for being outstanding in their respective fields. It made me bitter and want to die.
I've been harbouring this suicidal thought for about 3 years now. Why I hadn't tried was because I knew my family can't afford a funeral and it would literally kill my mom whose health had deteriorated. What triggered me was this past Christmas/New year. We barely had anything to eat. I am currently unemployed and live with my parents in a one bedroom apartment. You can imagine the drama that comes along with that. I always wonder when I see other youth doing well and ask myself if I'm being punished for something. This year is worse because of the inflation. I barely eat even though you can hardly tell by my physique.
Long story short, I found half a bottle of sniper at a public toilet and stole it. I mixed it with a bowl of okra soup and drank it. I didn't die. I guess God still has a plan for me. I've literally been waiting to die but today, I figured I'm not going to die just yet because the effect of sniper is almost instant. I decided to do it because I reached out to one of my mates abroad and he totally bullshited me. I felt I had nothing going on for me anymore. I can go for months and nobody would call my line except the occasional wrong number and immediate family. I never felt so alone in my life. My circle is literally made up of only my family members. Family is great but I still felt terribly empty. I figured people would rather donate to help bury a person rather than help when the person is alive so the burden of my funeral wouldn't weigh on my family. Two days after drinking the sniper I looked at my mother and cried bitterly. She wondered why but I told her not to worry. She said things would get better. I can only imagine the hurt I would have caused her even though I ensured nobody knew how I died because I disposed the Sniper bottle well. I currently don't feel any discomfort. I have passed urine and poo multiple times since I drank it. I guess I'm not dying soon, at least not by killing myself.

I left out quite a lot in this story trying to be as brief as possible. Suicide is never the answer. If you kill yourself life will not stop for you. Thanks for reading.

You shall not die. Please hold on to God and commit your all to him.

If everyone begins to share their stories you'll know you're not alone and are probably still better than some people.

You even still have a roof over your head and a family. Some sleep under the bridge yet they are still keeping hope alive.

Accept Jesus as your personal lord and savior and see things change for the better for you

RIP in arrears

heart-touching story bro.

Now go and die.

Please before you die, implement proper paragraph so I can read your content better. See you at the other side caward who want to escape the hardship. I will come back to finish the reading tomorrow if you will be kind enough to arrange it well. Possibly you could have given yourself infection from the public toilet, watch out for that. You want to die you still can’t give yourself a clean death. You deserve better bro. You think say Na only you get bad situation. Kill yourself Na, abeg waybill me this phone wey you dey carry chat for Enugu make you concentrate next time.

What do you love doing most?

Pity your mother and siblings...don't do anything stupid.

AlexBells:
Please before you die, implement proper paragraph so I can read your content better. See you at the other side caward who want to escape the hardship. I will come back to finish the reading tomorrow if you will be kind enough to arrange it well. Possibly you could have given yourself infection from the public toilet, watch out for that. You want to die you still can’t give yourself a clean death. You deserve better bro. You think say Na only you get bad situation. Kill yourself Na, abeg waybill me this phone wey you dey carry chat for Enugu make you concentrate next time.

You fit even die before OP. Your photo is even here. Person fit run you street since you like to run your dirty mouth.

Did you die?
😀😀

This guy Na werrey, even as you wan die you still dey stress me. As young as you are at 32 you don dey feel say your destiny don spoil. Do you know that Julius Ceaser was your age when he realized he hasn’t achieved much then took the turning point. That’s not my problem my problem is your write up is hard to read, next time if you are writing organize it very well.

I just dey pity your mother wey dey carry you get hope. You lucky say no be me be your mother, I for don throw you out since. I know e no easy but e no easy to be alive sef so tomorrow morning now, you are going to come down from that your stupid high horse and go out and make mama proud.

Draslo:

You fit even die before OP. Your photo is even here. Person fit run you street since you like to run your dirty mouth.

You need to work on your threat, death is like the butter of life lol. I dey encourage OP this one dey wish me death. I don die since Na burial date remain lol

Draslo:

You fit even die before OP. Your photo is even here. Person fit run you street since you like to run your dirty mouth.

This one goo just dey off me, you wan run me Street, this one just dey talk rubbish like as you see me so I dey alive for your eye. Lol. Onwebedi ihe ifuru. You haven’t seen anything yet.

There is no problem in life that is not gonna expire

AlexBells:
This guy Na werrey, even as you wan die you still dey stress me. As young as you are at 32 you don dey feel say your destiny don spoil. Do you know that Julius Ceaser was your age when he realized he hasn’t achieved much then took the turning point. That’s not my problem my problem is your write up is hard to read, next time if you are writing organize it very well.

I just dey pity your mother wey dey carry you get hope. You lucky say no be me be your mother, I for don throw you out since. I know e no easy but e no easy to be alive sef so tomorrow morning now, you are going to come down from that your stupid high horse and go out and make mama proud.

You're the worst kind of human. Make your point without sounding like a dipshit

Majority of Nigerian parents don't plan , whether they are rich or poor ,they produce kids like pigs or dogs .

They don't plan for unforseen circumstances especially in a country like Nigeria ,and produce kids to suffer along with them .

Rich becomes poor and poor becomes rich .

Anyway Rip to Op , unless u drank a counterfeit snipper. Your chances of survival are next to nil in next 3 months.

trust the process

In every situation you found yourself please dont kill yourself. Your problem are your own imagination stop comparing yourself with people. some start at 20 and die at 40 some even start at 45 and die at 80. please go and hustle you are very young. i started a professional exams that i am supposed to start when i was a teen at age 40.

TrustTheProcess:
You may be wondering what madness drove me to this but it isn't madness but a deep rooted depression that built up for over 15 years.

I'm 31 going on 32. A lot went wrong for me in my life. Some were mistakes of my doing while others were largely financial constraints for my family. I attended a primary school and secondary schools that would be the envy of many parents. I first realised something was wrong when I was sent home from school for inability to pay school fees. I was 16 and in SS3 in a full boarding school. My fees in 2008 was about 600k+ a term. My father rallied and got it paid so I could graduate. Parents tend to shield their children when there are financial problems so I was oblivious of it. I saw that whenever I brought brochures of schools abroad to my father, he'd ignore them. I had anticipated like many of my mates in school to further our education in the US, UK or Canada. It was when i came back to school to get my WAEC results that my dad informed the principal that I'd be applying to Yaba College of Technology. I was devastated but not deterred. I believed I could still achieve a lot there because I was bright and had a super result. I didn't write SAT or IGCSE but I thought I might write either a year after or do A levels.
That year, I wrote Poly JAMB before it was merged with regular university JAMB. I passed my Poly JAMB and was admitted into Yaba College of Technology. This is where my problems started. My now late p
maternal uncle was a student there back then and was told to monitor when the list of admitted students were posted. For some reason, he said my name didn't come out in the first, second, third and supplementary admission lists. After much probing, it was found out that my name was in the first list and the time it was discovered was well into the 1st semester so the admission was forfeited. I tried again the next year for UNILAG but I didn't get admitted for whatever reason UNILAG knows because I passed JAMB and Post JAMB. By this time, we could barely pay our rent and were barely getting by. I grew up a butter kid so I didn't have that hustle spirit. I just felt things would get better but I got a job at a business centre as a typist. Years passed doing one odd job to the other. School wasn't an option for me at this point mabecause we simply couldn't afford it and my siblings were still in secondary school. It was private but affordable. I desperately needed to up my game and I honestly believed it was up to me to uplift my family again.
I got so depressed because I wasn't heading anywhere. I owed more than half my salary before it was paid so saving was never really an option. I was just getting by. By this time, I was working at a petrol station as a fuel attendant. I strived not to cheat people and this made me the most hated amongst my colleagues. We were from vastly different backgrounds and upbringing and it showed. I couldn't hide it even if I tried. If I took a break, someone would sell from my pump to ensure I got shortages. My shortages piled up to about 50k and I cried bitterly. I later got admitted into a maritime school but couldn't complete my studies because of finances. I took up shift jobs and all my dreams and aspirations disappeared at this point cos all I wanted was to survive. I begun smoking cannabis which at the time seemed a great help to me at the time as it helped me accept my life condition. I was introduced to Yahoo but I despised the idea of scamming people. I just wasn't brought up like that. I instead took up selling cannabis as it seemed like an honest hustle even though I was aware of its illegality. This also didn't work for me because I just wasn't cut out for that kind of life.
At 29, with only WASSCE to my name. I wasn't getting any reasonable job offers. I hated my self and my life. In all of this, things didn't get better for my family either. We were a shadow of ourselves. Friends and family who would literally mob us daily were no where to be found. This was worse because both my parents were kind of breadwinners in their respective families. I would usually see my former schoolmates on social media living the dream, my dream. 90% of my mates were abroad and working. Some had married oyinbo and started cute families. The ones that didn't school there went to private unis here in Naija and are doing well. They travel whenever they please. I've seen two of my mates making front page on Nairaland for being outstanding in their respective fields. It made me bitter and want to die.
I've been harbouring this suicidal thought for about 3 years now. Why I hadn't tried was because I knew my family can't afford a funeral and it would literally kill my mom whose health had deteriorated. What triggered me was this past Christmas/New year. We barely had anything to eat. I am currently unemployed and live with my parents in a one bedroom apartment. You can imagine the drama that comes along with that. I always wonder when I see other youth doing well and ask myself if I'm being punished for something. This year is worse because of the inflation. I barely eat even though you can hardly tell by my physique.
Long story short, I found half a bottle of sniper at a public toilet and stole it. I mixed it with a bowl of okra soup and drank it. I didn't die. I guess God still has a plan for me. I've literally been waiting to die but today, I figured I'm not going to die just yet because the effect of sniper is almost instant. I decided to do it because I reached out to one of my mates abroad and he totally bullshited me. I felt I had nothing going on for me anymore. I can go for months and nobody would call my line except the occasional wrong number and immediate family. I never felt so alone in my life. My circle is literally made up of only my family members. Family is great but I still felt terribly empty. I figured people would rather donate to help bury a person rather than help when the person is alive so the burden of my funeral wouldn't weigh on my family. Two days after drinking the sniper I looked at my mother and cried bitterly. She wondered why but I told her not to worry. She said things would get better. I can only imagine the hurt I would have caused her even though I ensured nobody knew how I died because I disposed the Sniper bottle well. I currently don't feel any discomfort. I have passed urine and poo multiple times since I drank it. I guess I'm not dying soon, at least not by killing myself.

I left out quite a lot in this story trying to be as brief as possible. Suicide is never the answer. If you kill yourself life will not stop for you. Thanks for reading.

EKONGKING:
Majority of Nigerian parents don't plan , whether they are rich or poor ,they produce kids like pigs or dogs .

They don't plan for unforseen circumstances especially in a country like Nigeria ,and produce kids to suffer along with them .

Rich becomes poor and poor becomes rich .

Anyway Rip to Op , unless u drank a counterfeit snipper. Your chances of survival are next to nil in next 3 months.

God bless you bro.
You most of us faced the problem of lack of planning from our parents. Whether poor or rich planning is required. Though we're only two but my parent did not plan at all.
They were just living.
I have been a natural realistic person from my childhood so my common sense already told me the reality of things.
When my secondary school had to change to a more affordable sch I still do my best.

The op parent acted foolishly to build a false impression in his head and wasting money to put him in a better School.
The Op parent could not call him to order so he'll know the present situation of the family and work towards building a stronger family.
The op refused to know that he's now on his own and the world is not a deligent market were you have to be honest.
The best math student before my Seth in secondary school, when I was doing my IT I saw him working as a conductor.
Parent should be sincere to their children to reduce the shock of disappointment from unrealistic expectations.

Now the op life is in his hand. I have friends that train themselves to school.

O boy, Nairaland nor com get joy, person cannot even drink sniper in peace.

Op do not take your life, your situation can still change but death is an irreversible finalty.

Jewessgratitud3:
You shall not die. Please hold on to God and commit your all to him.

If everyone begins to share their stories you'll know you're not alone and are probably still better than some people.

You even still have a roof over your head and a family. Some sleep under the bridge yet they are still keeping hope alive.

Accept Jesus as your personal lord and savior and see things change for the better for you

See who de talk. You this daughter of Jezebel.

Nicepoker:
See who de talk. You this daughter of Jezebel.

.. hope you enjoyed your ban.. it's a Monday morning I would have sent you on another ban.

Kids of today sef. U are just 32 and u are complaining & want to die. Do u know how old some of us are and still have hope that it will happen one day.
Shame on u op.
U even had a good life while growing up.
U attended a school where terminal fee was 600k, what does that show about u? It shows u had a good life.
What used to be your assessment of the less privilege kids when u were growing up as a rich kid
U don't have any reason to complain.Nevertheless, in case u still want to die, just take the sniper in it raw state, don't dilute it again

AlexBells:
This guy Na werrey, even as you wan die you still dey stress me. As young as you are at 32 you don dey feel say your destiny don spoil. Do you know that Julius Ceaser was your age when he realized he hasn’t achieved much then took the turning point. That’s not my problem my problem is your write up is hard to read, next time if you are writing organize it very well.

I just dey pity your mother wey dey carry you get hope. You lucky say no be me be your mother, I for don throw you out since. I know e no easy but e no easy to be alive sef so tomorrow morning now, you are going to come down from that your stupid high horse and go out and make mama proud.

M#ron

How did it go?

TrustTheProcess:
You may be wondering what madness drove me to this but it isn't madness but a deep rooted depression that built up for over 15 years.

I'm 31 going on 32. A lot went wrong for me in my life. Some were mistakes of my doing while others were largely financial constraints for my family. I attended a primary school and secondary schools that would be the envy of many parents. I first realised something was wrong when I was sent home from school for inability to pay school fees. I was 16 and in SS3 in a full boarding school. My fees in 2008 was about 600k+ a term. My father rallied and got it paid so I could graduate. Parents tend to shield their children when there are financial problems so I was oblivious of it. I saw that whenever I brought brochures of schools abroad to my father, he'd ignore them. I had anticipated like many of my mates in school to further our education in the US, UK or Canada. It was when i came back to school to get my WAEC results that my dad informed the principal that I'd be applying to Yaba College of Technology. I was devastated but not deterred. I believed I could still achieve a lot there because I was bright and had a super result. I didn't write SAT or IGCSE but I thought I might write either a year after or do A levels.
That year, I wrote Poly JAMB before it was merged with regular university JAMB. I passed my Poly JAMB and was admitted into Yaba College of Technology. This is where my problems started. My now late p
maternal uncle was a student there back then and was told to monitor when the list of admitted students were posted. For some reason, he said my name didn't come out in the first, second, third and supplementary admission lists. After much probing, it was found out that my name was in the first list and the time it was discovered was well into the 1st semester so the admission was forfeited. I tried again the next year for UNILAG but I didn't get admitted for whatever reason UNILAG knows because I passed JAMB and Post JAMB. By this time, we could barely pay our rent and were barely getting by. I grew up a butter kid so I didn't have that hustle spirit. I just felt things would get better but I got a job at a business centre as a typist. Years passed doing one odd job to the other. School wasn't an option for me at this point mabecause we simply couldn't afford it and my siblings were still in secondary school. It was private but affordable. I desperately needed to up my game and I honestly believed it was up to me to uplift my family again.
I got so depressed because I wasn't heading anywhere. I owed more than half my salary before it was paid so saving was never really an option. I was just getting by. By this time, I was working at a petrol station as a fuel attendant. I strived not to cheat people and this made me the most hated amongst my colleagues. We were from vastly different backgrounds and upbringing and it showed. I couldn't hide it even if I tried. If I took a break, someone would sell from my pump to ensure I got shortages. My shortages piled up to about 50k and I cried bitterly. I later got admitted into a maritime school but couldn't complete my studies because of finances. I took up shift jobs and all my dreams and aspirations disappeared at this point cos all I wanted was to survive. I begun smoking cannabis which at the time seemed a great help to me at the time as it helped me accept my life condition. I was introduced to Yahoo but I despised the idea of scamming people. I just wasn't brought up like that. I instead took up selling cannabis as it seemed like an honest hustle even though I was aware of its illegality. This also didn't work for me because I just wasn't cut out for that kind of life.
At 29, with only WASSCE to my name. I wasn't getting any reasonable job offers. I hated my self and my life. In all of this, things didn't get better for my family either. We were a shadow of ourselves. Friends and family who would literally mob us daily were no where to be found. This was worse because both my parents were kind of breadwinners in their respective families. I would usually see my former schoolmates on social media living the dream, my dream. 90% of my mates were abroad and working. Some had married oyinbo and started cute families. The ones that didn't school there went to private unis here in Naija and are doing well. They travel whenever they please. I've seen two of my mates making front page on Nairaland for being outstanding in their respective fields. It made me bitter and want to die.
I've been harbouring this suicidal thought for about 3 years now. Why I hadn't tried was because I knew my family can't afford a funeral and it would literally kill my mom whose health had deteriorated. What triggered me was this past Christmas/New year. We barely had anything to eat. I am currently unemployed and live with my parents in a one bedroom apartment. You can imagine the drama that comes along with that. I always wonder when I see other youth doing well and ask myself if I'm being punished for something. This year is worse because of the inflation. I barely eat even though you can hardly tell by my physique.
Long story short, I found half a bottle of sniper at a public toilet and stole it. I mixed it with a bowl of okra soup and drank it. I didn't die. I guess God still has a plan for me. I've literally been waiting to die but today, I figured I'm not going to die just yet because the effect of sniper is almost instant. I decided to do it because I reached out to one of my mates abroad and he totally bullshited me. I felt I had nothing going on for me anymore. I can go for months and nobody would call my line except the occasional wrong number and immediate family. I never felt so alone in my life. My circle is literally made up of only my family members. Family is great but I still felt terribly empty. I figured people would rather donate to help bury a person rather than help when the person is alive so the burden of my funeral wouldn't weigh on my family. Two days after drinking the sniper I looked at my mother and cried bitterly. She wondered why but I told her not to worry. She said things would get better. I can only imagine the hurt I would have caused her even though I ensured nobody knew how I died because I disposed the Sniper bottle well. I currently don't feel any discomfort. I have passed urine and poo multiple times since I drank it. I guess I'm not dying soon, at least not by killing myself.

I left out quite a lot in this story trying to be as brief as possible. Suicide is never the answer. If you kill yourself life will not stop for you. Thanks for reading.

I read everything and felt the need to advise you. Suicide is never an option, it's for the weak. Trust in God. If you think your situation is bad, ask others to hear their own story. You attended a school where you paid 600k in 2007, there's a family that hasn't seen that amount in the last 30 years; some have never seen the four-walls of a classroom, let alone knowing how to read and write.

You focused too much on your primary school mates who are abroad doing well without looking at those who are no more. There are many of your mates in hospital or probably dead. Go to slums in Lagos and see what people are going through.

It's normal to feel bad about one's situation, especially this situation you're in, but the only option is to fight and keep fighting.

You were selfish not to have considered your mom in all of this, but took that decision. I truly believe that those who take their own life would go to hell fire - you don't take life that you don't create.

You should go to a doctor and explain what you have taken. You can tell him you mistakenly poured it in your soup while thinking it was a salt.

May God see you through. Stay alive.

From your write up I can deduce you are bright. Don’t give up on life. Do not compare yourself with someone else.
Go to a teaching hospital and tell them about your suicide attempt. Tests need to be carried out to make sure you are ok. Please do this.

Jewessgratitud3:



.. hope you enjoyed your ban.. it's a Monday morning I would have sent you on another ban.

I have a life outside here. Unlike you. But that mod position rejection really pained you.

tollyboy5:

God bless you bro.
You most of us faced the problem of lack of planning from our parents. Whether poor or rich planning is required. Though we're only two but my parent did not plan at all.
They were just living.
I have been a natural realistic person from my childhood so my common sense already told me the reality of things.
When my secondary school had to change to a more affordable sch I still do my best.

The op parent acted foolishly to build a false impression in his head and wasting money to put him in a better School.
The Op parent could not call him to order so he'll know the present situation of the family and work towards building a stronger family.
The op refused to know that he's now on his own and the world is not a deligent market were you have to be honest.
The best math student before my Seth in secondary school, when I was doing my IT I saw him working as a conductor.
Parent should be sincere to their children to reduce the shock of disappointment from unrealistic expectations.

Now the op life is in his hand. I have friends that train themselves to school.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to teach them how to face reality. Parents hide under the "love of children" and weaken their kids mentality.

SalamRushdie:


M#ron

Ehe what is wrong with being a slowpoke, stay alive and call me slowpoke every day I won’t mind, I will more likely kill that guy that want to kill him self than hurt you. Why kill yourselves when the day you will die is already fixed?

EKONGKING:
Majority of Nigerian parents don't plan , whether they are rich or poor ,they produce kids like pigs or dogs .

They don't plan for unforseen circumstances especially in a country like Nigeria ,and produce kids to suffer along with them .

Rich becomes poor and poor becomes rich .

Anyway Rip to Op , unless u drank a counterfeit snipper. Your chances of survival are next to nil in next 3 months.

People fall from grace to grass everytime. The best laid plans can go wrong. That's just life. And the society too is somehow.