Mranonymous50:
Hello nairaland family, this is gonna be a long one, sorry just need to lay out all the details so you guys will get the clear picture.
I'll be 40 this may. I plan to settle down this year but I'm torn between 2 women. One is an old flame I was supposed to settle down with 9 years ago but I wasn't ready back then so she married another dude, it was a shabby marriage as the guy didn't even come for her with his people from his father's side but rather from his mum's and he was keeping the whole thing a secret, there was no church wedding or traditional ceremony, just the people he came with to pay bride price and then he took her to court to collect marriage certificate, then 3 weeks later he left the country and never came back, except four years ago where he spent a month and then disappeared again. But the kicker is she was pregnant with my baby before she married that dude. it is painful knowing that my baby doesn't even know me but I had to do what I think is best for her and the mother, it would'nt make any sense interfering in her marriage and likely end up destroying it because I wanted access to my baby, I thought that would be selfish so I console my self knowing that the girl's family is well off and my baby girl wouldn't really lack anything.
The marriage has been hell for her and she discovered the guy is impotent, so he is unable to father a child which he knew before marrying her but kept it a secret from her and pretended like he was the father of my baby girl, although it was obvious he had no atom of love for her. The dude even married another white woman over there. This guy just caged her and wasting away her life. I loved this woman and still do, we didn't communicate all these years because we had a huge fight, so out of anger we both stopped communicating, we discovered recently the real reason for the fight was because she was deceived back then by another lady that wanted to be with me but that is story for another day.
The issue now is I am in a serious relationship with another woman whom I have been with for 2 years, I have already proposed and she accepted, but we had a serious fight and didn't talk for a month and coincidentally that was the period my former lover reestablished contact.
Reconnecting with her made me realize what I have been missing. With her for the first time in a long time I feel I am not being pressured. I feel really respected and appreciated unlike my current fiance that spends all day on Instagram and always billing me, because she doesn't work which is ok by me, although recently she has been really serious about starting a business, but she is like let me say "semi feminist" she thinks we should have equal rights which does not go down well with me, for example she will always want me to be in the kitchen with her if she is cooking, she really believes it's my responsibility to take care of her, I don't have a problem with that but how can you still think we are equals. She has a lot of friends and goes to a lot of parties, she likes showing off on social media and when I complain she subtly tells me I should stop hiding and to go make friends, I am an introvert and enjoy being alone and I avoid anything public. I am anxious around her and this affects our sex life, we hardly have sex because I don't feel aroused by her sometimes a month or even 2 months and we won't be intimate despite the fact that she is very beautiful she turns heads, tall and has the shape every woman envies, I my self is very handsome dark and tall with good physique and people always stare at us whenever we go out. And when we eventually do have sex I don't last at all and she complains. She has her good side, she is homely clean and really takes care of the house, highly intelligent and her advice have saved me from disasters a couple of times and for that I love her, her network of friends gives her good connections.
With my old flame things are very different, I was beginning to think something was wrong with my sex life until we reunited. we can make love many times everyday and I last a long time, looking at her just turns me on, she is very respectful she has her own house and a car, but still very humble unlike my fiance. Issue is her husband won't let her go, the man is unreachable, he can call her anytime he wants but she can't call him. She has told him she wants out, her family doesn't believe in divorce and everybody thinks her husband is the father of the baby. Only her mother knows because I called and told her way back then and she is keeping that a secret. The mum knows what the daughter is going through as she has even attempted to take her life on one occasion, but for some reason she doesn't want the daughter out of the marriage. I don't know if it's because of there old way of thinking or because of what the money the guy sends her but the mum is also very wealthy and owns houses in Lagos.
The daughter is afraid of what will happen if people find out her husband isn't the father as the husband is always threatening to expose her. I love the two women what should I do? bro go for an entirely different person |
