₦airaland Forum

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Proserpina:
To be honest I don't know why op is asking for advice because the right option is obvious here. It's best when the two work together and run a home... Maybe there's something she isn't sharing as to why she prefers to stay in the east very far from her husband.

Someone told me he has been working for 10 years as a government worker yet his take home is not up to 120k. I don't know what type of job he's doing but that sounds too ridiculous to me. He said if not for his wife's chemist shop they would have really suffered during this period. That's the importance of two working together.

Why a newly wed will settle for a long distance marriage and 70k job in east is a mystery to me. Op isn't sharing all.

There is something about govt job. Once they are sucked in, to come out is extremely hard. The one that shocks me is, they would be owing civil servants 4mths salary, 6mths, 8mths and they would still be going to work. How?


They love that their job o. Go there everyday, gossip, extort people that come there, talk about their kids, sell groundnut and share crayfish. It is good for family women though.

Nice2023:
I work in govt too...have u check the life and style of people in that office to know if what u are saying is true?
Government job doesn't guarantee a secure future except multiple stealing that goes in there.

I tell u for free...if ur salary isn't upto 150k minimum pls,go and join ur husband.

I have worked for 9years going to 10 and my pension has been terribly depleted,dwarfed and devalued and I have only found solace in my side income and about to quit the so called govt work.

It is easy to say that such jobs are pensionable but they don't guarantee the future...as most govt workers now owe online loan more than any group of people in Nigeria currently.

Finally,join ur husband and start a business in Lagos as soon as possible.

This is my opinion and not a final conclusion...maka indi uta.

Good luck to u.

God bless you am also doing his so called government job truly it has security but the future is unclear or ridiculed and not always ends well.

I have seen 99% of retirees in this so called government teaching jobs and yet u won't wish to be like them 😢

Sometimes I call it a time waster 😢

If I can get a better job or good business that can earn me well or more per day I guess I can leave and pass the exit door .


@OP I guess there is a way they do inter state transfer for government job or so plz make research on that and join your husband for your marriage to work ..
Good luck

homelybabe:
Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

guess there is a way they do inter state transfer for government job or so plz make research on that and join your husband for your marriage to work ..
Good luck

Proserpina:
To be honest I don't know why op is asking for advice because the right option is obvious here. It's best when the two work together and run a home... Maybe there's something she isn't sharing as to why she prefers to stay in the east very far from her husband.

Someone told me he has been working for 10 years as a government worker yet his take home is not up to 120k. I don't know what type of job he's doing but that sounds too ridiculous to me. He said if not for his wife's chemist shop they would have really suffered during this period. That's the importance of two working together.

Why a newly wed will settle for a long distance marriage and 70k job in east is a mystery to me. Op isn't sharing all.

God bless you my brother ..

The word newly wedded couple meaning two of Dem MUST at least be together for some years even if they want to live apart later 🤔

So if she wants d marriage to work at least they must live together first to start d journey

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Proserpina:
Loan Like have you seen their loan offers? My dear sister I no blame them for sticking o. Most of them sponsor their children through school with this loan, some built their houses and buy car through loan. It's the reason you will hardly see a govt. worker with no property or educated children.

Plus they aren't doing much although teachers especially primary school teachers are exempted from this... Those people work more than they earn . But in all it's not bad .

nah family women full there nah All those millennials and SU people

They offer them loans? Wow! I never knew this. Now it adds up. I am reminded she is a teacher. Teaching jobs full Lagos na. If she is a seasoned one, there are big schools that pay more than 70k.

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Interesting thread, even interesting comments.

Newly weds are to be together as far as I am concerned.

This matter here is what you guys should have discussed before the wedding.

Now ask yourself the following questions.

1. Your husband - CAN and WILL he take care of you and the home without you contributing financially ? Is he the what do you bring to the table financially kind of man. If you depend on him for everything for a while (could be years though) will he grumble or begin to see you as a liability? I personally don't see anything wrong in a woman being a housewife if the family can afford it.


2. Where does he live in Lagos, is it closer to the Island or Central mainland? there are 80k jobs around there but it's transport and accommodations is people's major issue. If it's interior interior Lagos that you can only get 15k private school work or 2,500k daily transport to a 70k monthly work then there's a problem.

3. What is your husband saying in this matter? It's my friends colleagues etc said that's is your writeup.

It's better if no 1 is a yes you can search for jobs with peace of mind when you are here in Lagos.


I wish you the best.

Welcome to the center of excellence.

homelybabe:
Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

Let me burst your bubbles
The pension no reach anything
Plus Government Dey owe pension like mad
Anyways, isn’t it possible to do transfer from the east to Lagos?
I would advice you go to your husband o, you can get a job in Lagos

homelybabe:
Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

My sister, the only advise I will give you is to go and meet your husband. I've gone through all the write-ups above. No matter how much you earn, Your family comes first. You will be shocked when you get to Lagos and see another lady cooking for your husband. And apart from that, your monthly salary can't do you anything. Most government works aren't paying most especially State or local government work except in Lagos or some oil-rich states and Abuja. Pls pack your luggage and meet ur spouse. No matter how much you earn, don't expose your family to danger. Delay is dangerous.

homelybabe:
■ Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

Given the state of the Nigerian economy, I would say you stay where you are until you can get a job out there in Lagos you can move to. I would not recommend you or anyone quitting a job given the current economic situation in that country. Stay with the job you have now until you have another job waiting for you on the other side to move to. Do not fall into the same trap many women who have now been unemployed for many years fell for.

Use your salary to start something small while on holiday in Lagos. Running 2 homes is not really sustaining.

ukaface:
Let me burst your bubbles
The pension no reach anything
Plus Government Dey owe pension like mad
Anyways, isn’t it possible to do transfer from the east to Lagos?
I would advice you go to your husband o, you can get a job in Lagos

i think she's working for the state government, that's why transfer is impossible.

homelybabe:
Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

When are you due for transfer? Back in the days, my aunt transferred from Benin to Lagos as a primary school teacher. Have you tried exploring if this is still applicable?

Madam go and be with your husband o, save the little money you have and a start a little business.

wunmi590:
Don't mind him, after he has used government job and money to build up himself, he's now advising somebody to leave...

So that she can go and be a burding to the husband, they think Lagos is easy like that, nah when the woman enter, the husband go know say feeding pass feeding

I made my money in the banking sector...not govt job.

Stop the hate and grow up.

U can only groan...govt job is akin to redundancy take it or leave it.
I am in it and know how it is.

Nice2023:
I am in level 10 waiting for my 12 soon...but i can vividly tell u,that govt job is a no no for me.

By next year I am leaving.

please in God's name,i am tired of my 20k job with people depending on me.please give me a govt.job connection.GOD bless you sir|ma

homelybabe:
Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

If it's federal government job you should be able to apply for transfer to Lagos

homelybabe:
Thanks a lot for the advice. The money isn't up to 70k. I'm still in level 8

Madam, please don't quit your job. In this Tinubu regime, nobody should willingly resign her job for no reason at all without a replacement. Soon, you'll be miserable and your husband will complain of being the one bearing the whole financial burden. Kindly, maintain your job and discuss with your husband how often you will be seeing each other.
Don't ever quit your job without securing another one first. You'll regret it

Nice2023:
I made my money in the banking sector...not govt job.

Stop the hate and grow up.

U can only groan...govt job is akin to redundancy take it or leave it.
I am in it and know how it is.

Put your money where your mouth is and quit your so-called redundancy government job today. If not, you're just a typical hypocrite

Tjra:
It could be a state government job.

Even if is state government job you can still do inter state transfer, but you will lose one level.

homelybabe:
Plz I need your advice folks.
I'm newly married. Before I married,I got a government teaching job in the east. My husband stays in Lagos but I stay in one of the states in the east. We got married in January this year and since then it's been difficult for us because of the distance. My husband is doing a good job in Lagos. I'm just afraid of relocating and staying idle at home,coupled with the fear of losing a government job that is pensionable. My friends and colleagues advised me to continue with my work and visit him during the holidays but some advised against such. I'm in a tight spot right now and don't want to take a decision I will end up regretting tomorrow. Please,your opinions are needed. Thanks.

ask ur spouse not us

A lady left her 345k Oil and gas job in Ph to be with the husband in Lagos. If you value your marriage you would leave that Job and go start a life together with your husband. If not you should have just stayed single and face your work.

SonofGod231:
■ A lady left her 345k Oil and gas job in Ph to be with the husband in Lagos. If you value your marriage you would leave that Job and go start a life together with your husband. If not you should have just stayed single and face your work.

You never mentioned what became of the lady?

Kobojunkie:
You never mentioned what became of the lady?

She had the career before the marriage,thats the point.

SonofGod231:
■ She had the career before the marriage,thats the point.

Ah! She no longer has a career because she is married. Do you mean that the desire/longing she had to be somebody for herself, to make her own money and take care of her own needs vanished the moment she got married? That drive/passion she once had to make a name for herself vanished after marriage set in. Is that what you mean?

Madam, join your husband before someone joins him.