What amount was she willing to add in purchase of all the liabilities she was about to create for the young man - absolutely nothing.

She also be liability. God forbid

He better go to church for thanksgiving, he dodged a bullet.

Plateau men do not like leaving home. They bring their pregnant girlfriends to their parents houses and make them wives automatically.😊

Never be with a person who thinks they are doing you a favour in agreeing to be in a relationship with you. The guy would do better in being without her. That type wants to do life through you and not with you. God is trying to save him from a disaster, he had better started thanking God for his deliverance and let her be.

Pacesetter123:
Despite any situation,I don't think it's proper for a man to marry and bring his wife into the family house to live in.

De kind wahala wey ur wife and ur Mama go dey get..ehh,u fit run mad in attempt to settle quell on daily basis.

So even if nah small two rooms,try rent am prior to ur marriage wey you and your wife go stay after marriage.

I don see wetin bin happen to my friend marriage bcuz of staying in family house.I learnt a lesson since then.

That being said, the lady in this case no also try at all.
She should have made her stance known to the guy right from day one of their relationship and not at the injury time she did.

It's ok to not want to marry a guy yet in his father's house, but my question is , what is the lady doing to help the situation? just giving the guy conditions without contributing anything. Even her wedding gown, she couldn't afford to make up for the part payment . The guy is struggling and going for someone that would put more burden rather than help him but God is trying to save him from such unwise decision.

eddychukwu:



Gotau Nenpoji Gotau

Dr Orland Owoh(of blessed memory) said in one of his album dt "IT'S NOT EASY TO BECOME A MAN"! Thank God d young lady showed her true color on time. To d man, she's not yours else she will stay come what may. I remembered how my wife single handedly paid our rent for a year or two after our wedding with little or nothing from me but thank God today dt d story had changed for good for both of us! So, move on bro!

TOPCRUISE:
Her decision is not condemnable.

Hmmm,truly, her request is not bad at all.But l observed this woman will be controlling the husband when they settled. I suspected, the woman is not truly love the man.She has other reasons she cannot continue with him but would not want to divulge them.Truly, its painful, the man should thank His God and move forward. The right wife is yet to come.

poshestmina:
A very valid reason ,I wouldn't date or marry a man that still lives with his parents ,regardless the living condition.

I love ,LOVE my privacy and space a lot ,some days you wake up and just want to be alone and want your thoughts coordinated.

You automatically become the family's Chef ,Advicer, emergency Gele tier ,Nanny to everyone and having someone else make decisions for you and hubby.

Even if it's a face me public compound ,let's contribute and rent . I no need see finish !

I love the last part

You know his financial situation that is why you said. LET'S CONTRIBUTE AND RENT.. and I'm pretty sure that if you know say he doesn't have,you go move on with the marriage and after marriage,you both still work together to move out

The lady sounded off, you know he doesn't have much, your family wan use billings kill am, he is trying to keep up, your family kept canceling introductions over silly excuses but just few days to the wedding, you expect miracle money to come and miracle house to rent and furnished within days to the marriage... why una agree on the two months after marriage why lead am on to waste money (its now a waste) when he started to make plans you could have told him immediately and remained adamant and I'm sure he would have used the money he had to get a new house then plan for the marriage

Now what baffled me was the fact that none of them have any business or job in the said place she wants him to get an apartment which means he needs to relocate his business or quit his job

If I'm based in Lagos, with all my businesses or jobs in Lagos, if I marry you, do you think it's best to live in Abuja or Lagos?

She should have told him she's got other options say she no wan marry am

Besides if na me, when your family cancel introduction on any silly excuse, the first time na warning I go give, second time na better last warning 3rd I won't go again

That will be the end unless they come beg and fix the introduction the day they will beg me and my elders,we go just follow them for back go do introduction...

ChizzyBuna:
The ONLY reason a Nigerian Woman want to marry is for SURVIVAL.

THAT IS WHY EVERY SATURDAY I GO TO CHURCH AND LAUGH AT STUPID MEN WHO ARE MAKING THE WORST MISTAKES OF THEIR LIVES IN THE NAME OF MARRIAGE

Men marry because of LOVE
Women marry inorder to SURVIVE
You as a man have take care,provide, support her for the rest of your life.

Women don't marry for Love
Na MONEY women dey marry oooo

That is why she marry and secure a SIMP that will take care of her for life

While she go and collect gbola from that her poor Ex that she truly love.

Why she no kuku marry the Ex she truly loves??

Because she marry you because YOU CAN PROVIDE
Nothing concern love for marriage for Women

Only 1 purpose for Marriage for men is to provide,provide,provide till they die

And when you can't provide any longer.

She go meet another guy that will provide,provide,provide till they die.
That's why Women live longer, men dey die like fowl
,
And mumu MAN will still kneel down
And propose to be a Woman's slave for the rest of his life.

Make all of una Clap for Women
They have been using Men to cashout for Centuries😂😂😂

You are speaking from your level in society..

Abiola's daughters didn't marry for survival...neither did Dangote's daughter or even his old mum..

Rochas Okorocha's daughters did not marry for survival... atleast I know them very well and I attended the 1st daughter's wedding..

Yemi Osibanjo's daughter didn't marry for survival..I was at the wedding..I know their inlaws .the Shagayas..

Do you think Bianca onoh married late Odumegwu Ojukwu for survivalDo you know the grandeur home she is coming fromDo you understand the upbringing and MINDSET put in her from when she was born

Otedola's unmarried daughters will neither marry to survive but to procreate and continue the cycle of "replenishing" their kind .

My wife didn't marry me for survival...and so also my siblings sisters didn't marry for survival..

Money is always an issue for a particular level of people like you in society..people that have been "programmed" over time that you MUST "work hard" for money to make it...and secure it from WHOEVER because it flies away easily like the birds..

"Don't trust nobody with your sweat(1.5M naira monthly pittance ohh 😂)"..

"the world is a vicious place and people are coming to get your "hard earned " money some way,so be careful"

"Things are bad,these are hard times"

"This Obasanjo's regime has killed us"

"Kai, "Buhari no try..see the level of poverty in Nigeria(that is,your level)"

"Tinubu is worse than Buhari"

"These rich people are cultists and killed many as sacrifice to get there "

"If I can just get that job that'll pay me like 500k per month in 2003 and work hard for the next 30years,I can build...."

"Just do your best and leave the rest to God"..

RUBBISH MENTALITY OF THE DOWN TRODDEN!

And they end up not amassing Billions and still go ahead to teach their children the same LIES!And the children do same with their kids and the beat goes on just like The Whispers said..

Think about it for a while..how do you "work hard" for something and get loads of itI am talking loads like Billions..

Wealthy rich folks do the SMART WORK...their handlers,PAs, directors, managers and employees do the HARD WORK..and pay you pittance for you hard work..

You have to THINK HARD and work smart!NOT hard...that's for folks with "employee" mentality..

The upper echelon of society know that "money works hard" for them ..infact they don't even need money to get what they want..it's the other way around...

hence having money is just like breathing..it comes natural...I have met folks that have walked up to a house in Maitama Abuja,contacted the owner and bought the house worth billions and moved in without paying a dime at the time of change of ownership/exchange agreement..yet they didn't have ONE NAIRA at the time..they knew the money MUST come..as in,a MUST..so they weren't even perturbed..NO SHAKING!

I have seen it happen atleast 10times..homes costing 2Billion,1.8Billion..I saw one that happened..the house was 12Billion at Guzape...

ITS ALL PERCEPTION!!!

And the tragedy for one is good news for the other..

Depending on where you are in life,the mentality is taught and programmed into the younger ones beings..into their souls.. their Solar Plexuses..they grow with it and it becomes 2nd nature and automatic..for both kinds of people..

Ever wondered why the rich keep the wealth for generations to come and so with the poorit's just a MINDSET... nothing else .

As a man thinketh....................

Think and grow rich NOT work hard and grow rich...

Change the people and things that you have been listening to... especially when they are not what or where you want to be in life..

My dad used to say to us his kids when we were younger "the best way to get out of debt is to get more bigger debt"...

Think about it for like a couple 100s of hours .

It will change your life, depending on how you interpret it..for the better or worse..

Why live in Jos when you earn in Vom ... Bro run that Sis like fake life ...

All guys do is to come and protect men who are supposed to be flogged with cane.
1. How will you live with a wife when you cannot provide common 15k for wedding preparations
2. How will you be living in your parents house and still be talking about marriage.

Putting a woman in house house when you cannot take are of yourself is an irresponsible thing to do.

The woman is right joor.

So after suffering husstles and starvation one evening newspaper go dey give me conditions...d daughter of jezebel no fit afford ordinary wedding gown for herself..imagine

ChizzyBuna:
The ONLY reason a Nigerian Woman want to marry is for SURVIVAL.

THAT IS WHY EVERY SATURDAY I GO TO CHURCH AND LAUGH AT STUPID MEN WHO ARE MAKING THE WORST MISTAKES OF THEIR LIVES IN THE NAME OF MARRIAGE

Men marry because of LOVE
Women marry inorder to SURVIVE
You as a man have take care,provide, support her for the rest of your life.

Women don't marry for Love
Na MONEY women dey marry oooo

That is why she marry and secure a SIMP that will take care of her for life

While she go and collect gbola from that her poor Ex that she truly love.

Why she no kuku marry the Ex she truly loves??

Because she marry you because YOU CAN PROVIDE
Nothing concern love for marriage for Women

Only 1 purpose for Marriage for men is to provide,provide,provide till they die

And when you can't provide any longer.

She go meet another guy that will provide,provide,provide till they die.
That's why Women live longer, men dey die like fowl
,
And mumu MAN will still kneel down
And propose to be a Woman's slave for the rest of his life.

Make all of una Clap for Women
They have been using Men to cashout for Centuries😂😂😂

You are very funny for calling men going into marriage stupid. I smiled when I read that line. E go soon reach your turn to join the league of 'stupid' men. Some men marry for procreation though, not any love.

Anyways what goes around always comes around

ozo13:
na so one dey give me plenty yeye conditions like that thinking na me she wan pepper oo ontop the money I dey suffer sometimes doing sleepless nights before I earn till I ask her to let her parents know am no longer interested immediately it occurred to me na trouble I wan carry put for my house.because it won't be a good experience to suffer at work and still go back home and meet trouble.
Guyman like me started my own conditions immediately I realized I wasn't interested anymore .i knew she will not accept the condition which was the bait I used.na so I tell them if they won't accept the condition I don't think am interested anymore and they tot it was a joke till like 5/6month when they didn't hear from me , i started hearing come and do whatever you want and take her.I felt bad for her parents though because it was already late and my mind wasn't there again.I no dey like person wey dey always think without them one can not move on and I don't like drama Queens.If a lady really like his guy, she will be ready to sacrifice alot for the guyman.

Correct! No time to waste!

oluwaseyi0:
correct

the bible made it clear that a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife

anything short is an unnecessary interference/stress for the new couple

that word is for untouchable bride ..

Omoluabi16:
Two yeye people. Why print IV and waste everybody's time when you've not even concluded on these things?

LMAO

It's the "two yeye people" for me 🤣🤣🤣🤣


The man's an optimist.

The lady's a late decision maker.

She was simply going with the flow, even though she was having growing concerns about her to-be's ability to provide.

I sense that her family were also not excited at the prospect of the union. That's why they kept shifting introduction dates.

They finally got into her head, and she made up her mind not to marry the man in his current financial state.

poshestmina:
A very valid reason ,I wouldn't date or marry a man that still lives with his parents ,regardless the living condition.

I love ,LOVE my privacy and space a lot ,some days you wake up and just want to be alone and want your thoughts coordinated.

You automatically become the family's Chef ,Advicer, emergency Gele tier ,Nanny to everyone and having someone else make decisions for you and hubby.

Even if it's a face me public compound ,let's contribute and rent . I no need see finish !

But his reasons are valid also.

Ideally both families could have made adjustments in budget to accommodate a self contain room close to the where their business is not far away


Also this couple already discussed all this and agreed to for 2 months. If she was advised to go and stay far from her in laws, there is a way to go about it than telling him adamantly she won't bulge.

She lacks proper counsel

optm:
It's ok to not want to marry a guy yet in his father's house, but my question is , what is the lady doing to help the situation? just giving the guy conditions without contributing anything. Even her wedding gown, she couldn't afford to make up for the part payment . The guy is struggling and going for someone that would put more burden rather than help him but God is trying to save him from such unwise decision.

The lady is not ready to help situation, common 15k to add to the 15k that the guy gave her for the wedding gown is hard for her and secondly what reason did she have to make her to tell the guy to leave where he's hustling and go to Jos (maybe the lady don spoil vom with her vom)

Her ex is back and she wants to get baçk with him.

Oshin56:
The lady is not ready to help situation, common 15k to add to the 15k that the guy gave her for the wedding gown is hard for her and secondly what reason did she have to make her to tell the guy to leave where he's hustling and go to Jos (maybe the lady don spoil vom with her vom)

lolz and she had probably been living with her parents in vom. Demanding a standard of living she cannot provide for herself from another person is unreasonable. It's not bad to want a better life or improve your living standard, but be willing to put in efforts to achieve them. The guy had better left her alone and be grateful to God

castro316:
All guys do is to come and protect men who are supposed to be flogged with cane.
1. How will you live with a wife when you cannot provide common 15k for wedding preparations
2. How will you be living in your parents house and still be talking about marriage.

Putting a woman in house house when you cannot take are of yourself is an irresponsible thing to do.

The woman is right joor.

But she agreed despite all this conditions listed above

Why didn't she tell him to put off Marriage until he is more financially capable


She is irresponsible

eddychukwu:



Gotau Nenpoji Gotau

If you like argue with your stupidity but know these… A woman will only love you for what you have to offer be it comfort, security, money or good sex.

The very moment she meets someone who offers more, she will leave you.

I always tell my guys, u see woman matter, dem no dey die put. Where u stop another man will continue.

ChizzyBuna:
The ONLY reason a Nigerian Woman want to marry is for SURVIVAL.

THAT IS WHY EVERY SATURDAY I GO TO CHURCH AND LAUGH AT STUPID MEN WHO ARE MAKING THE WORST MISTAKES OF THEIR LIVES IN THE NAME OF MARRIAGE

Men marry because of LOVE
Women marry inorder to SURVIVE
You as a man have take care,provide, support her for the rest of your life.

Women don't marry for Love
Na MONEY women dey marry oooo

That is why she marry and secure a SIMP that will take care of her for life

While she go and collect gbola from that her poor Ex that she truly love.

Why she no kuku marry the Ex she truly loves??

Because she marry you because YOU CAN PROVIDE
Nothing concern love for marriage for Women

Only 1 purpose for Marriage for men is to provide,provide,provide till they die

And when you can't provide any longer.

She go meet another guy that will provide,provide,provide till they die.
That's why Women live longer, men dey die like fowl
,
And mumu MAN will still kneel down
And propose to be a Woman's slave for the rest of his life.

Make all of una Clap for Women
They have been using Men to cashout for Centuries😂😂😂

a bride that can't afford a wedding gown of 30k for her wedding is a useless wife. Even if it's the only support she can offer in her wedding.

I like myself, all this useless women that have no money should remain in their fathers house and stop looking for men to deceive into marriage.

Egalitarian1:
She is not his.

They kept cancelling the introduction and he went ahead to think of marriage?
Hmmmm! What a SIMPle man he is.

He should go look for his own wife and let the community honeypot be, she will still regret it all when she will look for husband but none to show

some of you just type without thinking.is it about just getting married or staying married? All of you are just concerned about wedding not life after wedding which is more important.

After wedding, everyone will go back to their house and face their lives while she's stuck with a baby adult (a man that is not ready to grow up or be a man)

How can a grown man of marriageable age be shamelessly staying with his family.what kind of nonsense is that.e no make sense and if he knows he cannot afford to rent a house then he clearly is not ready to marry because let's even assume the bride agreed to stay in the family house,there are still other bills

Feeding expenses for mother and child, diapers,children's school fees, clothes, home necessities for cleaning,gotv etc.so if you know that you can't afford to keep up with the bills then be single.anybody point gun to your head that you must be married?

Abi when him and the wife dey do adult activities for night,shey make the parents, family members and everybody living in the house know say husband dey off the wife pants? Marriage requires some level of privacy abeg abi he go like am if them turn the wife to family house help and he can't even complain because it's family house. You people should be using your senses.the world doesn't revolve around your ego

As for the girl she too no try.there are some things that should be concluded way before introduction not to talk about wedding.all this indecisiveness doesn't make you look like you know what you're doing and it's giving immaturity vibes.if you see baby man that is not ready to be a man, leave him with his mummy before them pour load wet no be your own for your head to carry.you never even get belle or born them don dey tell you make you go live with your inlaws.you go see shege banza.as person wey old pass you, person wey no even be your last born mate go dey talk to you anyhow and you won't be able to do shii about it because you're in their family house.yes is good as you respected yourself by making a decision that will have turned you to a nonentity but it came too late


Go and ask women who stayed in their husbands family house before they eventually moved to their own house that the husband rented.tufiaaaakwa.every problem in that house will be put on you,if God wan punish you make you go have one saucy sister in-law wey the husband don frustrate or wey never see man marry,na you go suffer for it.you go dey chop insults everyday for everything you know and don't know, every mistake you made will be magnified,you go look yourself for mirror dey ask yourself whether you're the same person.

Aside that everyone go dey monitor your belle.if you no quick get belle,lol.your guess is as good as mine.every family member go call you barren.they will mock you either in secret or to your face.the shades and body language you go dey collect.lol.

I don't even want to go further but it's a very nasty experience for a lot of women I have seen but in all Sha both the husband and the wife are immature.even if the wedding went on na immaturity and inlaw intrusion for don Break that marriage

However like other people have said, the bride's family should return everything that the groom has spent on the wedding.it doesn't make sense that you don't want the man and be holding on to his gifts

poshestmina:
A very valid reason ,I wouldn't date or marry a man that still lives with his parents ,regardless the living condition.

Even if it's a face me public compound ,let's contribute and rent . I no need see finish !

Atleast you get sense to contribute the little support you can... D woman in the story is of no value

She has see one rich guy or one bad friend

Melagros:
COMRADES, you can see that, this one of the reasons why I always advise my fellow bachelors not to rush into marriage unprepared

As for the bride to be, since after all that the guy had done for you, but you still have the boldness to break the groom's heart at die minute by cancelling the wedding, kindly refund him whatever he has spent on you for peace to reign

Most bachelors come prepared to marry the ladies they want. Na economic situation de cost the problems plus the wives extended family changing marriage lists and rights. I am a victim to this she's and my wedding is in two weeks time. Just this Monday I got a fresh list of items from my inlaws. I was surprised, that's after I have done traditional marriage few months ago oo

though the guy appears to be lazy, but plateau and Kaduna girls are so useless that u can't understand them, local olosho, them no get money but their yansh no dey stay one place

Omoluabi16:
Two yeye people. Why print IV and waste everybody's time when you've not even concluded on these things?

You clearly have no idea how these things are done

Teymanhenry:


Most bachelors come prepared to marry the ladies they want. Na economic situation de cost the problems plus the wives extended family changing marriage lists and rights. I am a victim to this she's and my wedding is in two weeks time. Just this Monday I got a fresh list of items from my inlaws. I was surprised, that's after I have done traditional marriage few months ago oo

you better stand your ground and let them know that you have done everything you should do before them open office for your head.let them know that you no too hold make them no dey think you're otedola.because if you don't create firm boundaries now,after wedding they'll be coming to beg for one thing or the other and if you no gree they'll be using your wife to manipulate you and if she didn't succeed,she will start harassing you with nagging.

Some bride's families sef are not wise.they don't even know the more you frustrate the Man with billing,the more the husband takes out his anger on the wife.the way he's treated will determine how he will treat his wife

Meanwhile as for you please let them know that you can't do more than what you have done and if they insist,tell them to hold their daughter you will go to and look for another babe elsewhere.

There's a Yoruba proverb that says no matter how good mannered or beautiful a daughter is, her father cannot marry her.he has to give her out to a decent, reasonable and eligible groom