₦airaland Forum

LiveWire85:
Watching my father daily has made me realize that the hardest thing about being a man is the fact that nobody really cares about you, because they think you ought to be man enough to handle every jab life throws at you.
You are allowed to show zero emotions and no weakness .you are only relevant and seen as man enough when you shoulder everything even if it kills you in silence.

I really pray God strengthens and comforts every good man out there. That's why we have to support them the best way we can.

Hathor5:
I hope you will say the same thing when people pressure women to marry early because women also take care of their children and husband.

cococandy:
Maybe your fellow men need to hear it from you because we’re tired of the provider trope.

Every body is a provider. And men are not even doing a good job of it BTW. Because they very often mock the people they’re supposedly providing for by calling them leeches, liabilities and gold diggers. Who wants to be provided for like that? When it’s used as power over you. That’s why women started getting their own money too and being a provider is no longer an exclusive thing to men.

What else can they do asides from that? Which is where your post comes in nicely.These are good qualities you listed here. How many of them are cultivating these qualities amongst themselves?

How can someone be a good moral guardian if they don’t live by the morals they’re trying to instill in their family members or other people they’re leading? Men here don’t fail to try and convince us that they exempt from the morality laws they try to foist on others. How can they be protectors if they’re the ones their families need protection from. Big failure right there.

I could go on but I’ll stop here

pansophist:
I agree with you though, charity begins at home.

Although the women that men call leaches are those that see them as mere cash machines. Women ain't saint you know? Lots of women are truly leeches. It's a fact.

For the women that ain't leech and the true queens, a good man will be happy to take good care of her, because her contribution is not tangible, but intangible.

A woman that knows how to contribute to a man's life, the same way she expects him to provide and care for her. Everyone has to bring something to the table.

emmaodet:
You are 100% right bro.
They just have a funny way of downgrading men's efforts in the family ni.
Also like you said, a woman without masculine figure is bound to go astray or devoured by sharks.
A woman without a man in her life is a roaming prey in the mist of predators.
There is respect associated with women who have husbands compared to single ladies.
Have heard from a woman working with UBA whose husband lost his job and she is the one financing the house saying the reason why she doesn't want to divorce the man after catching the man cheating is because all sort of men will start approaching her and toasting her immediately they know she is no more married and in her husband house again.
One told my wife after divorce that she was shocked when one of her hubby's friends approached her (afterall she no more with the husband), and all sorts of idiots - taxi driver, co-workers, church members, she said it so shameful even the gateman of the house she packed to was also codedly giving her greenlights.
Something that would have been avoided if they are seeing hubby with her.

cococandy:
How are the moms managing to provide financially and are still able to do everything else in addition to bringing the money? Maybe you guys need to humble yourselves and learn from women who are doing it.

Because the FACT (no matter how delusional many of you are) is that women are also providing financially. Especially in each and every home of everyone commenting on this thread even if y’all prefer to lie about it.

Women are providing and are still not limiting their identity as parents/partners to that role only.

pansophist:
And the intentions of the men no pure at all. They are just looking for an extra plate to add in their harem, or make her the first plate.

Besides, no man with options, who has value will be looking to wife up a friend's divorced partner. Attention has no value, though lots of women live and die for it.

Anyways like I always maintain, life is hard in itself, but harder if one is dumb. If any woman Take signal from honey men serious, and destroy her perfect relationship, she will have heself to blame.

Men pernis are very cheap, but their commitment is not.

emmaodet:
Your last paragraph is true.
About the man trying to date his friend's divorced wife.
Na lashing now. Marry who? For wetin.
He had been rushing on the woman since because she is beautiful but the benefit of doubt is that she has a man in her life.
Being divorced throws the door open for many insults

LiveWire85:
Watching my father daily has made me realize that the hardest thing about being a man is the fact that nobody really cares about you, because they think you ought to be man enough to handle every jab life throws at you.
You are allowed to show zero emotions and no weakness .you are only relevant and seen as man enough when you shoulder everything even if it kills you in silence.

I really pray God strengthens and comforts every good man out there. That's why we have to support them the best way we can.

Truvelisback:
Money! Money! Money! If you don't have money, just forget it. Sadly, that's just the ugly truth. You are less than a humanbeing if you don't have money as a man. Without money, forget Love, Loyality, attention, care and respect from people, love ones and family members. A woman may be broke and still be normal but not you as a man.

Gerrard59:
- Have fewer children

- Plan for your retirement by ensuring there is a consistent and continuous supply of finances.

- Take proper care of your health by doing away with deleterious foods, drinks and injurious habits.

- Engage in physical exercises and adopt a hobby which can be either physical or mental.

You have your life to live, except you wan form Assistant Jesus Christ by slaving for others.

LiveWire85:
Watching my father daily has made me realize that the hardest thing about being a man is the fact that nobody really cares about you, because they think you ought to be man enough to handle every jab life throws at you.
You are allowed to show zero emotions and no weakness .you are only relevant and seen as man enough when you shoulder everything even if it kills you in silence.

I really pray God strengthens and comforts every good man out there. That's why we have to support them the best way we can.

Gerrard59:
Interesting responses from most respondents.

In summary, life is hard, especially in poorer countries.

As I stated here:



To add: try to enjoy life as a single man before becoming married, because na so so responsibilities full inside marriage.

emmaodet:
You are 100% right bro.
They just have a funny way of downgrading men's efforts in the family ni.
Also like you said, a woman without masculine figure is bound to go astray or devoured by sharks.
A woman without a man in her life is a roaming prey in the mist of predators.
There is respect associated with women who have husbands compared to single ladies.
Have heard from a woman working with UBA whose husband lost his job and she is the one financing the house saying the reason why she doesn't want to divorce the man after catching the man cheating is because all sort of men will start approaching her and toasting her immediately they know she is no more married and in her husband house again.
One told my wife after divorce that she was shocked when one of her hubby's friends approached her (afterall she no more with the husband), and all sorts of idiots - taxi driver, co-workers, church members, she said it so shameful even the gateman of the house she packed to was also codedly giving her greenlights.
Something that would have been avoided if they are seeing hubby with her.

pansophist:
May God help women. They are so vulnerable. Strong and independent is only for a man that don't know how to deal with you lol

Kobojunkie:
That has absolutely nothing to do with being a man. There are men out there who are loved and cared for by members of their own family. It all depends on the way you position yourself. If you wish to be treated like one who does not deserve care from others, then you will do everything to get just that. What you mostly put in is what you get in return. This isn't about gender really but about the choices an individual makes. The likely reason your father isn't being cared for by those in his family probably has a lot to do with him playing man of the house as opposed to being member of the family like everyone else.

2. All that macho nonsense only matters in the heads of those who hold such delusions. Go out there and see the number of homes where women bear the bulk of the responsibilities in their homes. They don't do it with zero emotions and no weaknesses. There are men out there who are emotionally intelligent beings --- at home with their emotions, even around their family --- and are equally loved and cared for and respected by those in their homes at that. So what benefit is this zero-emotions and zero-weakness stance you claim makes one a man ? What is it based on? That there seems nothing but a quick ticket to the grave for the foolish!

3. God has nothing to do with these human delusions abeg!

ChybuzzDD:
So, which other major care should a man provide other than these??

If a man manages to provide everything he kids need, he's definitely caring for them.

If he fails to do these, you guys will still crucify him

pansophist:
Even without money, the mere presence of a male figure is security for a woman.

Instinctually, the predators of the earth (aka men lol) routine avoid targeting women who have a strong masculine background behind them. Either in the form of her fathers, husband, or even brothers.

To narrow the contribution of men to mere finances in being intellectually dishonest, or such a person never enjoyed the security coverage a man brings.

For example, in the US (I can't find data about Nigeria), most of the prison populations are from single-mother homes. Also, the girls you see doing only fans, e-prostitutions, and just unfortunate people.

It will be extremely difficult for a woman lady/man who has a proper upbringing in a healthy masculine household to fall into any of these societal vices.

Men bring direction, stability, authority, leadership, protection, moral guardians, and a figure of hope. Even a man who doesn't have enough money can still provide these things proportionally.

Anyone who downgrades, narrows, or vilifies the importance of men to mere cash has never had a good man, is trying to win an argument instead of being right, or is just downright idiotic.

pansophist:
Maybe not the hardest, but one of the hardest things about being a man.

I have to be ''something'' before I will be loved and enjoy good things in life. Unlike women who enjoy something I call ''status by association'' (e.g. a king's wife is a queen, but it does work the other way round). To enjoy anything, I must work for it myself.

And the male world is extremely fiercely competitive. Some men are smarter, richer, highly connected, and more well-educated than you. They also benefit from old money and have monopolized many industries, and you are a latecomer.

As you attempt to climb high the hierarchy, forces are drawing you back such as responsibilities to others, to yourself,

For men, if he is lucky, the only window they have to escape and have a good shot at life is when they are teenagers to maybe 25 years old max. Under the assumption that his parents can still hold it down, he goes into the world and punches hard.

But if his parents are getting old, or don't have anything built that he can use as a stepping stone to launch, and even worse, he has to save them, then he probably won't be successful for life.

Your hard work is just a slice of the pie of success. Things such as comparative advantages, nationality, social status, educational level, inheritance, who you know, parental support, etc, will go far in making a man successful.

And to make it worse, ignorance of this dynamic is the final nail to a man's coffin. I don't know a man who understands this thing and will waste time chasing women or feeling like he is lost when a woman says no.

You have such a huge battle ahead of you, how can the disapproval of a mere immortal, one out of billions make you lose sleep? Especially when she compliments and will benefit from your hustle, and not the other way round?

Your worst sin is that you've destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing" - Fyodor Dostoevsky,

bukatyne:
@bold:

Then we have a lot of idiotic men on NL

Because on a daily basis, men here are the ones who largely think some money ( because they still believe a woman should contribute) is all that is required to be a man.

DonroxyII:
The reason why Women all evolved to become strong & independent is due to the exploitation of their vulnerability by Most Devilish Good for Nothing Men ....

Imagine a woman trying to keep herself chaste only for the Man that would marry her ... some Men would go as far as Proposing Marriage, Marrying Her, Fvcking Her & Dumping Her only to come around to tell her the essence of all his Wahala is just to "Fvck-Her" ....

Who can stop such a beautiful soul from becoming an Animal towards all Men

God is Definitely Helping Women No be Men dey cry Now .... Evolution is a Powerful Force for a Determined Species..

Laslas, All Humanities Would become Men because Most Women are now evolving Into "Men" ....

pansophist:
My issue is not that you wrote trash, but because you don't know that what you wrote is trash.

Ignorance bad. Na wa

Karleb:
Yes. I would.

The only issue is some women might have issues securing a husband if they don't marry early.

But I hate marriage pressure, either for man or for woman.

Hathor5:
Don`t worry about women securing husbands. In a polygamous society, it`s you men who will have difficulties. Simple math.

Karleb:
Men who will have multiple wives will be the same that struggles to find a wife?

Hathor5:
No, men who have multiple wives make the pool of available women shrink for you guys so the number of available men will be higher than that of women.

Karleb:
I'm trying not to laugh here.

Look at northern Nigeria for instance, they practice polygamy, how hard do you think it is to marry there for any guy?

Even beggars have multiple wives over there.

In polygamy, more female children are produced leading to more wives.

Kids of 20 yrs have wives in the north.

Hathor5:
Polygamy produces more female children?

I didn`t know polygamy has an influence on the chromosome distribution.

Where did they teach you biology?

The one that laughs last ...

Karleb:
That's how basic biology works. Make your research.

Hathor5:
A man in a polygamous marriage is more likely to have daughters than sons?

Karleb:
Where did you read that from me.

I said more daughters are produced, I never compared it to sons production.

If you knew your basic biology, you'd know more sons are also produced. I didn't have to mention that.

Anyway, if men not having wife to marry, an hypothesis which is clearly disproved by the northern Nigeria, is what you choose to believe. That's good for you. It's your truth. You can believe it.