₦airaland Forum

Vikto17:
they fear me say l be masquerade? Why are his younger siblings not afraid of me if l am such a bad person

The fear I'm talking about is respect.

Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

Communication is the key, perhaps he is introvert

dawnomike:
This is a delicate matter...
Call a family meeting with your siblings and mum to address the situation.

You are a true child of the soil with culture.

theophorus:
Life is not hard and it's not a 1+1 =2 situation.

That He doesn't call or send Sms doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Hope say he no dey take something Sha?

I trust God he doesn’t.

Vikto17:
And yet our last born,, his younger sister is more mature enough and understand all this things

Bro it's very normal... we all have different characters

When I was young... no matter what my senior broda gave to me... I never show appreciation or even say ordinary Thank you... den I used to feel "it was his responsibility" so I don't need to say anything... but even with my attitude he continues to do his part as a senior bro...

Later in the years when I become more exposed and mature I begin to realise his efforts and love/mercy he has shown me in the past and even present...

Now even tho I'm stable on ma own... sometimes he will still send something to me tru DHL without asking and I will start greeting him like say he brought me Gwagon...

So just ignore his attitude and do your responsibility

And God will continue to bless you more...

One day, he will definitely change for good

wizrose:
do you want value or respect from your younger brother because all this you mention now i dont see any sign of hate their... is like you dont no the meaning of hate. dont pray for it someone who hate you wont collect something from you...

God bless you more, you speak from a spirit controlled system of thoughts.

emma2002:
I understand your concerns and feelings. It's painful when family members, especially siblings, don't appreciate or reciprocate love and support. You've done a lot for your brother, and his indifference and lack of gratitude are hurtful.

Firstly, acknowledge that you've tried addressing the issue with him directly, which shows you care about your relationship. Since that hasn't worked, consider the following steps:

1. *Re-evaluate your financial support*: It's fair to reassess how you allocate your resources. Consider redirecting support to siblings who value and appreciate your efforts.
2. *Set boundaries*: If you choose to continue supporting your brother, establish clear expectations and consequences for not meeting them.
3. *Don't internalize his behavior*: Remember that his actions reflect his own character, not yours. You've shown kindness and generosity; don't let his behavior define your self-worth.
4. *Prepare for mother's reaction*: Anticipate your mother's potential emotional response and plan how to address her concerns. Explain your perspective and feelings calmly, emphasizing your desire to support those who appreciate your efforts.
5. *Seek support for yourself*: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about your feelings and experiences. They can offer valuable guidance and emotional support.

Remember, you deserve respect and appreciation from those you support. Prioritize your own emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your values and needs.

God bless you.

Matured system of thoughts, keep it up.

akube34:
”blood is not thicker than water”, very important message. Bro, comot your hand for him matter. No listen to Wetin anyone go talk

Very simple!

Zubeezanga:
With due respect oga u have way too much of feminine genes, u don't know or understand how men love lol, see e get people wey d mind every second of the day but i no be much show of lovy dovy type, brotherly love dy different oga, me n my senior bro hardly talk or chat but na my nigga.

Na sister and brother matter, don’t be confused bro!

Gbadugbakun:
Cut him off jare. When hunger deals with him, he would come back to his senses.

Can’t you ask in details of what how and what’s going on before and after! How many are they in the family and…

Let’s see the wisemen in muscular speeches

dominique:
He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't rate you or he's a total introvert and a loner. People like that find it very hard to open up to others.

You are there before?

Babatunjo:
Family is Family. As the elder bro, you have to be the bigger person. Keep staying connected to him.. When he's older and wiser he'll appreciate you better.

By the way you don't need his love.. but his appreciation and respect. Don't react, give him time.. if after he's 40 years and older, and still acts this way, then you can respond.

What can I say? God bless and increase your wisdom in Jesus mighty name. Amen

99thEnemy:
Hate is a very strong word.

Many people, especially Nigerians tend to interchange “dislike” with the word “hate”, but the intensity and meaning of these words in expressing emotions are different.

“Dislike” is the proper word to use in this case.

Your younger brother may tend to dislike you.


Trust me, if it’s hate, there will be noticeable hostility, insolence, disrespect and other negatives.

You should first try to understand the reason for this behavior before labeling it as anything further.

What I see is that you noticed his lack of courtesy, lack of appreciation and then avoidance towards you.

Shalom

I think one of the law of the universe remains do unto others how you want them do to you.

Sow and reaping

kalvoken:
^^^^^ on the other hand, check yourself very well, there must be something you are doing wrong and he may not know how to put it to you, or you are not heeding his advice.

Smae brother of mine that was always eager to pane beat us for any slight wrong doing is someone I have come to know he leaves the worst version of life he preach to us against.

80% of his way of life is nothing to write home about, and he would never take any advice from me his younger one. This has made me restrict my relationship with him. I'm not happy with his lifestyle but i do not hate him.

I only avoid as much as possible, having anything serious with him. That doesn't mean I hate him. In fact, I hate the fact that he hates himself.


So baba, check yourself well well. You fit be the problem. Even from your write up, you want to abandon your brother because he doesn't post you on social media.

What if he was to be your biological son, who you go leave am for?

May you continue to flourish like a palm tree planted by the river side! Aaah remain blessed with wisdom.

Angelfrost:
Family is not always what we desire, but family is always going to be family!

Blood will always be thicker than water!

If you feel your younger brother hates you, then you should be asking yourself what you did to earn his animosity...!

Have a sit down with him, and talk like men...! Get all issues on the table! Involve an elder if possible (very advisable).


Don't let pride overwhelm both of you... Being the bigger man and brother isn't always easy. Sometimes, we have to even stoop to conquer.

For all you know, he might be going through mental issues that might require your intervention... Don't make conclusions from a distance.


This same kid might become a strong backbone for you tomorrow... The future is never black and white!


When you have done all these reconciliatory moves, and he stays aloof and hateful, then you have earned the conscience to keep him where he belongs!

But, in all you do, never burn bridges with Flesh and Blood...! E get why!!!

Happy Sunday All!

Live till you leave! Prov 23:7

Angelfrost:
Family is not always what we desire, but family is always going to be family!

Blood will always be thicker than water!

If you feel your younger brother hates you, then you should be asking yourself what you did to earn his animosity...!

Have a sit down with him, and talk like men...! Get all issues on the table! Involve an elder if possible (very advisable).


Don't let pride overwhelm both of you... Being the bigger man and brother isn't always easy. Sometimes, we have to even stoop to conquer.

For all you know, he might be going through mental issues that might require your intervention... Don't make conclusions from a distance.


This same kid might become a strong backbone for you tomorrow... The future is never black and white!


When you have done all these reconciliatory moves, and he stays aloof and hateful, then you have earned the conscience to keep him where he belongs!

But, in all you do, never burn bridges with Flesh and Blood...! E get why!!!

Happy Sunday All!

For every genuine person who sows in tears, shall definitely reap with songs of joy! The universe is watching us all

bluefilm:
I don't know why, but this is quite funny

Elder brother seeking for love from younger brother?

Wonders shall never end!

That’s a feminine gender 😂
May we not lodge in a confusional hotel!

Ogeneigbo1:
because your brother does not call you on phone does not mean that he hates you.
some people don't open up easily even if you give them your millions, that does not mean they hate you.
do not allow evil thoughts to creep into your mind because of nothing.

i will advice you to call your brother to visit you on holidays or weekends , that will increase the bond between you guys and open up more avenue for you know him better.

Wisdom!

LesPieux:
OP. You sound like a beta male.

Which serious male cares about birthday posts on Facebook?

OP is a female I think

uckay304:
Is not that he hates you, some don't just like somebody that over control them or somebody that shows too seniority, little thing you shout at them, so they try to avoid you
Is like you are one of such people
The little help he's even getting from you is because he don't have, if he has he won't even you at all

Are you the brother? Shuu oghene me 😲 bro you dey fear me ooo

Nigga44:
Op, your brother does not hate you. Maybe he's just scared of you......and feels awkward relating freely with you.

Many introverted people are like that, and this may stem from your relationship with him when you were kids. I presume you may not have been at home that much in the past and as such there may not have been much opportunity to relate with you more freely. You may be shocked to find out years later that he actually loved you more than all the people that are doing 'eye service' to you now. I pray its not late then cos many introverts are highly misunderstood!

Try and get closer to him now to help ease his awkwardness towards you. If you want to change the situation, just try and be friends with him, and soon enough he'll come around and be at ease with you.

I think the brother is now closer to prop firms than…

femi4:
You are the elder, bring him closer. Make him feel vulnerable around you. You probably scold him everytime he makes mistakes, he doesn't have the courage to share what is going on in his life with you. He does not hate you, he's scared of you

2. Stop seeking validation from people like yaya toure who was angry with Mancity for not giving him a birthday cake

My agbalagba, I dolf my coconut head for your wisdom. More grace sir

Vikto17:
Did you read were l said he does this with others,, besides my brother is not a loner ,, He is an extrovert to the best of my knowledge...
And when have demanding for love and appreciation from your own siblings become Authoritarian?
You send money to a person you have to called them to know if they have seen it,, You gave him Money for Jamb,,He doesn't have the courtesy to tell you about his scores..
The same phone you bought for him he won't use it to call u.. when u called pray he is with the phone ,, if he is not he won't bother returning the call.. is that how u treat ur brothers,,put yourself in my shoes oga

What do you want to do now? Do you want to fight him? If you feel he doesn't appreciate you then do more for the ones that appreciate you. It's simple! At some point in life, he'll learn likely the hard way. Normally, your mom should be speaking to him but if she isn't doing that, there's nothing much you can do. I'll advise you to be very careful and don't escalate the whole issue cos he might see you as an adversary and also plan to do something bad to you. Family battle no be small thing o. Overlook it and do more for the ones who value you. It's good he's showing all these. At least you can see the kind of personality he has. He doesn't value you so don't waste energy or resources on him. Even if your mom begs you to give him anything, let her know why you're not able to do it at the moment cos I know he might be going through your mom to ask from you

Akpabio22:
bro I'm facing same issue i regreted doing so much for my younger brother. He is full of envy bitterness always finding fault on me. All my friends outside has never treated me like the way this guy treated me. Truly blood is not ticker than water. Run far from him with time he will learn the hard way. I've completely removed my life or anything about me from my brother he his a devil . I now see him as an enemy and I'm watching him both physical and spiritual I can never losegard for him to kill me instead it will be the other way round. Some brothers are evil immediately they start seeing progress in your life they will change completely forgotting every man has his own destiny. I now dislike my brother now so much because he said so much I never believe he was like that until he can't hide it anymore.

That’s your inheritance! Endure it 😂

The fact that people proceed from the same womb doesn't guarantee that they will grow up to love, cherish, honor and support each other. These things have to be deliberately cultivated early by the parents. As children grow older, the harder it is to inculcate these values.

When parents condone or enable the younger sibling to disrespect the elder, and don't correct or discipline, it only becomes worse with each passing year. Genuine honour cannot be forced . . .

Parents, please don't take things for granted!

Speaking from painful experience 😔💔💔

jaxxy:
I think u should try good communication and not expecting someone to automatically like or perhaps even worship u just cos u do things for them.

I'm not saying his behaviour is right but there might be more to it than the hate u have concluded. If He hates u then why? if he doesn't care about u then why? There must be a reason why a siblings acts the way they do.

Are u the controlling or judgemental type?

Also 2nd born are generally stubborn I'm guessing u are the 1st.

Wisdom three much!

Bennayou:
Na sister and brother matter, don’t be confused bro!

Sis and bro matter how o p na woman?

Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

Bro am talking to you as someone in ur shoes since 2005 after the death of our dad as the first son.
My younger brother, the fourth son is currently in ATBU Bauchi has exact character and attitude with ur younger brother. I have talked! talked! talked!!! to him but no avail, i just decided to leave him with his attitude.
I started shouldering his responsibility since the death of our dad from primary school to university, he ll be graduating this year. I have never stop any financial support.
Just continue ur support and allow him be.
It ll shock u that this ur younger brother is the one that has ur best interest at heart but doesn't know how to express it or is shy.

Babatunjo:
Family is Family. As the elder bro, you have to be the bigger person. Keep staying connected to him.. When he's older and wiser he'll appreciate you better.

By the way you don't need his love.. but his appreciation and respect. Don't react, give him time.. if after he's 40 years and older, and still acts this way, then you can respond.

Exactly the way am handling mine with similar attitude and character.
This guy has my best interest at heart behind my back more than the rest of my siblings. He can go to any length to do things for my son.
Believe me his younger bro appreciate him just that he ll do it to his face.

kalvoken:
Firstly, what's your relationship with him from childhood.

What i mean is, have you two been really close friends from small? It's one thing you to be my brother, then another thing for we to be flowing together. This has nothing to do with age gap.

One of my brother while i was growing up, never visit home that often. He do stay 5 years or more before coming home. Each time he comes, we the last ones weren't connecting that much with him. Our relationship with him was more of fear of him.

He wasn't helping matters either, always harsh on on us, the freedom we have with other senior brothers are not there with him. So till date, I can spend one month with him in same house and we won't gist like brothers. Even though, we all are grown now....…...

You just wrote about me and our big brother, one day he just returned from my uncle's house where he grew apart from us and was introduced to me as our most senior brother, haaaa!!!!!! How? And guy was the second child while I was the last of 10 kids. The gap and his harshness didn't help matter. I was already very close to our second son because he is very jovial, relates and pampers us as little siblings ooooo,, there is nothing I can't tell him then and now. I can comfortably stay for ten years without hearing from our first son and he didn't care oooo. Just one day he called me during one new year day and was praying and saying new years blessings and stuffs as the father figure... I was surprised ooooo because guy no send anybody, though he constantly sends WhatsApp prayers every morning these days and I will be surprised about change in his behavior. so check your growing up history for it matters alot.

Fearjah:
If you want help person whether na your brother oo or no be your brother help am.

Abi e waste your money?

No be everybody dey talk like woman.

you no get sense l swear!! So calling a person to say thank you ,,, means u dey talk like woman,,, and you wonder why a lot of ur kind remains in poverty for long,, anyway thanks for ur input.. I don hear u

Tonalphs:
Oga, he's not saying anything that is true. In his writeup lies the answer. He's bragging about rendering help to him. I'm sure he says the same thing to his brother's face. That's why the young man doesn't tell him anything. All his words are about him being worshipped just cos he pays the bills. If not, y is he concerned that his bro doesn't call him? That one nor b talk na. He even get credit to call am? Y his he concerned his bro doesn't post him on social media? He didn't say his bro doesn't wish him hbd o, he said he doesn't post him on social media on his bday.

Labour deserves wages

If he pays his junior brother bills, the onus is on that his brother to reciprocate by showcasing care, love and respect. Love is something you should displace for people to see. But unfortunately his brother has not shown any of them.