₦airaland Forum

My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now.

My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

You calling him dad will come naturally, if he start taking you both as his biological children nothing stops you calling him dad.

Kobrakai:
My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now. My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

Tell her that you are not equally happy calling your stepdad that, and ask her whose happiness should come first, hers or yours? The best is to be blunt when you need to be and this is one of those times.

Kobojunkie:
Tell her that you are not equally happy calling your step Dad that and ask her whose happiness should come first, hers or yours? The best is to be blunt when you need to be and this is one of those times.

Thank you 🤲

Does he act fatherly towards you?

1Sharon:
Does he act fatherly towards you?

yes

duruZed:
You calling him dad will come naturally, if he start taking you both as his biological children nothing stops you calling him dad.

Alright thanks

If he’s a Good father figure then find a term that’s endearing and comfortable for you. If dad isn’t then maybe papa or something else that’s comfortable for you that shows him that you are close to him. If this man does more for you than your father then you could acknowledge him and put a smile on his face. It’s not that deep.

I’m sorry! I missed the part about your father passing away (May he rest in eternal peace). Maybe speak to him man to man and let him know that you appreciate him in your life but you can’t call him dad due to the fact that you still miss your father but you could call him uncle or something else that’s respectful. I think talking to him about it would bring you guys closer. That’s if you have that kind of a relationship.

Kobrakai:
Thank you 🤲

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STEPDAD AND DAD? THE STEP?
PLEASE BE WISE SOMEONE IS TAKING CARE OF YOU UNDER HIS ROOF, THATS YOUR DAD PERIOD.
WHAT IF YOU WERE ADOPTED.
EVERYMAN OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER IS YOUR DAD, MORESO THE ONE YOU'RE UNDER HIS ROOF.
PLEASE BE WISE
E

capnies:
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STEPDAD AND DAD? THE STEP?
PLEASE BE WISE SOMEONE IS TAKING CARE OF YOU UNDER HIS ROOF, THATS YOUR DAD PERIOD.
WHAT IF YOU WERE ADOPTED.
EVERYMAN OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER IS YOUR DAD, MORESO THE ONE YOU'RE UNDER HIS ROOF.
PLEASE BE WISE
E

Noted. many thanks

Kobrakai:
My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now.

My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

you mom cannot force you guys to call another man "dad", it can only happen naturally if/when you guys are ready (if ever). whether a man has passed away or not, in your mind, thats your dad and nobody can replace/change that. its like killing one of your fondest greatest memories.

Your mom have no Right to force you to call him dad.

The fact that u do not want to call him dad for me means that you are still grieving your dad, and your mom should respect that.

Are u in Nigeria?

Kobrakai:
My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now.

My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

How old were you (and your brother) when he came into your lives?
Has he always been responsible for you both as a father would?
Do you both bear his surname?
Does he have other children with your mum?


He must really love you guys a lot, for him to want you both to call him father, otherwise, he wouldn't have cared.
Things like that come naturally though.

Mariangeles:
How old were you (and your brother) when he came into your lives?
Has he always been responsible for you both as a father would?
Do you both bear his surname?
Does he have other children with your mum?


He must really love you guys a lot, for him to want you both to call him father, otherwise, he wouldn't have cared.
Things like that come naturally though.

I was 14
no not same surname
yes I wanted it to come naturally

Foodqueen:
Your mom have no Right to force you to call him dad.

The fact that u do not want to call him dad for me means that you are still grieving your dad, and your mom should respect that.

Are u in Nigeria?

yes ma
Nigeria

Kobrakai:
yes

Call him dad
U are only behaving primitive to be honest
Person mak dey help u Na ur dad even if no be him born u biologically
He takes a lot of stress to help
Abeg respect am

capnies:
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STEPDAD AND DAD? THE STEP?
PLEASE BE WISE SOMEONE IS TAKING CARE OF YOU UNDER HIS ROOF, THATS YOUR DAD PERIOD.
WHAT IF YOU WERE ADOPTED.
EVERYMAN OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER IS YOUR DAD, MORESO THE ONE YOU'RE UNDER HIS ROOF.
PLEASE BE WISE
E

To be honest I tire for am
Person mak dey provide for u
I swr God Nigerians are too ungrateful
I no fit raise pikin mak I no born
Jus to call him dad Na him u carry am come Nairaland

Kobrakai:
I was 14
no not same surname
yes I wanted it to come naturally

Okay. You were quite grown.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you call your stepfather presently?

Kobrakai:
My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now.

My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

Tell mum no bi by force . It will come naturally to you when you are ready, you’ll just say dad automatically and he would say “ what did you just call me “ ? And you would say “ dad” and he would dance like it’s 1999.

Mariangeles:
Okay. You were quite grown.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you call your stepfather presently?

Uncle x or y.

Lance008:
To be honest I tire for am
Person mak dey provide for u
I swr God Nigerians are too ungrateful
I no fit raise pikin mak I no born
Jus to call him dad Na him u carry am come Nairaland

Why must he be forced to do something he doesn’t want to do . He lost his dad biological dad. When the time is right he will call him father.

You said this man plays the role of a father and has been in your lives for "some years now", so I'm assuming that means he's good to you and your siblings, and mom, provides and takes care of all of you like a father figure? If that's the case, then you could a call him another variation of Dad like "Pops" or "Pa". Neither of these means he's your biological Dad or that he can ever take the place of your Dad (may his soul continue to rest in peace - amen) because nobody can, but this is just a way to acknowledge him for assuming that role of a father figure and being good to you and your family over the years. He's a good man if he has been trying for y'all. If you still don't want to do that, then just make sure you always respect and appreciate him.

Kobrakai:
My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now.

My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

But not ackward posting imaginary story.

You are also comfortable collecting money and other gifts from imaginary step father.


Meanwhile, for foolish men spending foolishly on single mother, .....this how the children are seeing you and would treat you years later.

Son and daughter must sure find and reunite with their father.

Kobrakai:
My dad passed away years ago and my step dad has been with me for some years now.

My mom always tells me and my bro to call him dad. She said he isn't happy when we don't call him Dad and for me it feels awkward calling him Dad. I dont feel comfortable. What do I do??

Bur you re comfortable collecting money and other fatherly social, mental and monetary needs from step father hur.

What is good for the goose should also be a sauce for the gander. In as much he is the doing what late dad would have done if he is alive. Call him Daddy

rickleye:
Why must he be forced to do something he doesn’t want to do . He lost his dad biological dad. When the time is right he will call him father.

Person mak dey help u Na ur father even if no be him born u
Una too dey ungrateful maybe u think say Na the mman duty to cater for them or watin
Appreciate little help

Kobrakai:
yes

Can you call him something else? Would you feel more comfortable with pops or pa or something nice that differentiates him from the way you called your dad but make him feel recognized at the same time?

You are been ungrateful here, you should have taken him as your father. You need him more than he needs.
You should be grateful to him for coming into your life at the right time.
If I were him, I would have sent you guys out of my house.

Hathor5:
Can you call him something else? Would you feel more comfortable with pops or pa or something nice that differentiates him from the way you called your dad but make him feel recognized at the same time?

yes...at the moment I call him daddy + his real name

This is why I would never advise any man to marry a widow or a single mother. Unless maybe you are also a widower or single Dad.


You go care for another man pikin with love and money and you are still seen as a stranger.

This is one of the reasons men avoid single mothers. The fact that they will always be stranger in the picture and fear that their efforts will be in vain( in case their biological father is alive, they may seek out his reconciliation). It he performs fatherly duties, please call him dad. How will you feel if he decides not to call you his children or calls you "my wife children"?

aremuforlife:
You are been ungrateful here, you should have taken him as your father. You need him more than he needs.
You should be grateful to him for coming into your life at the right time.
If I were him, I would have sent you guys out of my house.

Fiscus105:
But not ackward posting imaginary story.

You are also comfortable collecting money and other gifts from imaginary step father.


Meanwhile, for foolish men spending foolishly on single mother, .....this how the children are seeing you and would treat you years later.

Son and daughter must sure find and reunite with their father.

Grateful? The African man ego. Why date/ marry a single mother if you believe you are doing them a favor? This is something not strange in the west. But must African men will believe they have done the greatest of all virtuous work.

I don't support the guy's stance, because if the man were not calling them his children but referring to them as his " wife children ", they will feel bad.

As for you, and most naija men, please avoid single mothers if you believe you are doing them a great a favor or they should be grateful to have you. They are enough single ladies out there for you

Tightpussy2024:
Grateful? The African man ego. Why date/ marry a single mother if you believe you are doing them a favor? This is something not strange in the west. But must African men will believe they have done the greatest of all virtuous work.

I don't support the guy's stance, because if the man were not calling them his children but referring to them as his " wife children ", they will feel bad.

As for you, and most naija men, please avoid single mothers if you believe you are doing them a great a favor or they should be grateful to have you. They are enough single ladies out there for you

We are Africans for heaven sake.
We have our own culture and it must be respected.
As an African man, if I marry a single mother I will automatically become the children father and they must recognise me as their father.

You guys talk as if we don't ha e our own culture or ways of life.
Must we copy the Western people, must we live their life?