₦airaland Forum

Seun:
I'm sorry, but if you punch your wife in the face, I won't mind my business.

Well, if you happened to be aware of it and you think you're in the position to intervene, I won't say you shouldn't. But there are different ways to intervene because you have to consider many factors. You can report to the police or initiate a resolution between the couples because many things could be at stake for the couples if it goes public like in this case. You have to consider the possibility of the man making a one time mistake, the destruction of the home that going public with it could cause, the kids, the couple images and so on. But I get it in this case, @jarus was already your sworn enemy, his fall will give you joy and happiness.

Polygamy and wife beating are contrary to my values. Don't try it.

This is none of your business. The man here @jarus, his faith/religion, his culture and his country's law support polygamy. So, I don't see how this concern you. But if you think it does, we need you to go knock at the door of Ned Nwoko

Unperturbedpota:
There is more to this issue than you all know. I for one questioned the need for this thread where there was no sincere ill intention on Seun's part but the way he is carrying on does seem like SJ's fears and concerns about seun having hatred and envy towards him are very valid. Why open this thread? who outside the circle needed to know all he has split here? why go this far? I am truly amazed at his behaviour.

Don't mind guy, let him continue to ridicule himself, we will enjoy it . See what he has reduced himself to, pity.

Seun:
There is no fallout. The dude never liked me as a person. He liked my brand and my platform. We were never actually friends, though I tried.


When I posted my first viral tweet where I said polygamy is legalized adultery, I didn't know that Jarus was in trouble. But after that, I knew.


I considered deleting the "legalized" tweet for a moment, but the arrogant tone of his defence of wife beating and polygamy made me not feel bad for him. I saw him as the aggressor and not the victim. I considered speaking to him, but from his antecedents I knew I wasn't going to change his mind. I was likely to get cursed out and blocked if I asked him to apologise. Also, I feel very strongly about polygamy and domestic violence. I had to choose between offending Jarus and acting against my conscience and my principles. It was a very easy choice.

what do u intend doing next in issue.

Seun, jarus decision to take a second wife isn't your business, that's his decision. Now I assume you are also friends with his wife, hence you got emotional but you knew jarus first. You don't have to agree with all your friends life decisions. So far it doesn't affect your life. If it does affect your life you give him space and maintain distance.

Now the polygamy post seems shady, even if you claim it wasn't directed to him but what's done is done.

Seun:
I'm sorry, but if you punch your wife in the face, I won't mind my business. Polygamy and wife beating are contrary to my values. Don't try it.

Respectfully, it is essential to acknowledge that not everyone shares the same values and beliefs with you. People come from diverse cultural and religious backgrounds, which shape their unique perspectives on various aspects of life, including polygamy. While polygamy is a part of our African cultures and is supported by certain religions like Islam, it's crucial to respect these differences without imposing your own "values" on others.

However, it's equally important to distinguish between respecting cultural practices and addressing harmful actions. Although polygamy is a cultural norm in our society, wife beating, or any form of domestic violence, is universally condemned as it violates basic human rights. In such cases, it becomes our collective responsibility to speak up against these acts and create a safer environment for everyone.

There is a fine line between caring for others' well-being and interfering in their personal lives. It's essential to strike a balance between offering support and respecting individuals' choices. When assisting those in need, our primary focus should be on helping them rather than forcing our own beliefs upon them.

In summary, if your friend/enemy is taking a second wife, "mind your business" even if polygamy is contrary to your values. But if he's beating up his wife, speak up against the act to create a safer environment for everyone.



Peace!

dapotemi:
Okay good.
Pls confirmed if at any time he was your employee(staff) or biz partner?

He was a moderator in the politics section. He also used to organize Nairaland-themed get-togethers like football matches, Iftar, etc. These were his initiatives. I never asked him to do them nor was I involved. So we were never really close. But a lot of people thought we were. 🤷‍♂️

Also, at a particular point your relationship went sour, what EXACTLY happen?

I think we just aren't compatible. Our values seem to be very different. Also, I think I didn't trust him & he thought I was crazy the whole time.

In your own mind, why exactly do you think is the reason for his anger towards you?

He has admitted that he is a temperamental person. Right now, he is angry because I didn't support him for striking his wife in the face.

You refer to him as a friend, do you think you've acted as a friend when he had that situation last week?

I can't recall referring to him as a friend. If I did, I have forgotten. His followers believe we're close friends. I'm guessing that he told them.

Seun:
I tried to befriend him but I always knew that he disliked me as a person.
I've since learned that it's because he thinks that I have medical issues.
I'm proud that I have never slapped or punched anybody in the face.

putting a restriction on those who want to comment on Islamic threads but opening up Christian threads for every Tom, di.ck and Harry to comment, is such a behavior not enough to dislike somebody? No sane person likes injustice.

Seun:
To protect her from being punched in the face by the love of her life every time she complains that his side chick is calling him for hours and hours in her presence. Imagine being in bed with your husband between 10pm and 12 midnight and he's on a call with another woman.

this is the greatest disrespect any woman can get from her husband. I'm sure this happened when he hadn't married the so called second wife. He still had the audacity to beat her because of this.
Too bad

descartes400:
If it was not a dig at Jarus, he should cite EVIDENCE of his consistency of his views about polygamy being a legalized adultery.

That particular tweet was certainly not a dig at Jarus because I didn't know about his troubles at that point. Search my profile for polygamy.

descartes400:
That's what I expected of him, giving his history with jarus. He should have just sat it out.. least he is accused of being a meddlesome interloper in a friend's marital affairs especially when you and the friend are not longer in good terms.

I did not feel that we were close enough for me to suspend my bashing of polygamy. The response of Jarus proved me right.

Did he just started preaching about the evils of polygamy just about the time his friend or ex-friend was about marrying a second wife? Is that a coincidence?

No. See below:

Seun:
There is no fallout. The dude never liked me as a person. He liked my brand and my platform. We were never actually friends, though I tried.


When I posted my first viral tweet where I said polygamy is legalized adultery, I didn't know that Jarus was in trouble. But after that, I knew.


I considered deleting the "legalized" tweet for a moment, but the arrogant tone of his defence of wife beating and polygamy made me not feel bad for him. I saw him as the aggressor and not the victim. I considered speaking to him, but from his antecedents I knew I wasn't going to change his mind. I was likely to get cursed out and blocked if I asked him to apologise. Also, I feel very strongly about polygamy and domestic violence. I had to choose between offending Jarus and acting against my conscience and my principles. It was a very easy choice.

I think I get a bit of your perspective now from this reply.

However , it appears to me your disdain for polygamy come from your personal experience which you are projecting on others. I read your tweets where you talked about how your grandfather took to polygamy which led to things going sour with your grandma. You mentioned how your grandma had to leave and come live with your parents and took care of you.

I want to believe that particular experienced has shaped how you think about polygamy. A lot of people experienced something similar, but somehow they don't take out their aversion against polygamy on any other person practicing polyagmy .

Of a truth domestic violence is a crime and should not be condoned, but methinks ur stand against Jarus in this issue goes beyond his domestic violence issue

Seun:
To protect her from being punched in the face by the love of her life every time she complains that his side chick is calling him for hours and hours in her presence. Imagine being in bed with your husband between 10pm and 12 midnight and he's on a call with another woman.

Even when you claimed that he's not your friend and that you guys are not that close, lol. Are you close to his wife, like her friend to warrant protecting her from her husband when you admitted that you and her husband are not friends or close?

Beremx:
this is the greatest disrespect any woman can get from her husband. I'm sure this happened when he hadn't married the so called second wife. He still had the audacity to beat her because of this.
Too bad

I weak oooo,I am really trying very hard to understand that the owner of an influential website will open a thread to clear the air on a perceived disagreement with a former moderator

I have taken my time to read all the various comments and I can only perceive one issue running through the thread
It is an issue of arrogance.
Seun,I respect you very much but sometimes silence is golden.You have created a platform that has given a lot of people opportunities to carve a path for themselves in this life but I perceive you are still yet to understand how big a creature you have on your hands.
Let me advise you,please delete this thread.It belittles you.At this stage of your life,there are better ways to "fight" certain battles
Let me leave it here,but I hope one day you will come to terms with the fact this opportunity that you have will not last forever if you keep going down this road
It is well

Kenochi:
I weak oooo,I am really trying very hard to understand that the owner of an influential website will open a thread to clear the air on a perceived disagreement with a former moderator

I'm proud that I created this thread and shared my views. I care more about truth and facts than about being approved of by everyone.

If people dislike me for truthful reasons, that's fine. What stings is when the reasons you're disliked are false. That's what I came here to tackle.

I'm enjoying the serenity of Nairaland and the freedom to fully express my thoughts here.

Many people here are writing epistles instead of asking questions. Is this not offtopic? Should the moderators not delete the offtopic posts?

I am still taking questions.

Seun:
Many people here are writing epistles instead of asking questions. Is this not offtopic? Should the moderators not delete the offtopic posts?

I am still taking questions.

Mr Ṣeun, what transpired between the two of you? At least, let's start from there. I don't know Jarus.

maasoap:
Imagine his opinion and statement as a Christian about the issue involving Muslims!! Seun should have known that his opinion on this is invalid because the players don't have the same belief and practice as his

He is an atheist, don't rope Christians into this.

Seun:
Many people here are writing epistles instead of asking questions. Is this not offtopic? Should the moderators not delete the offtopic posts?

I am still taking questions.

My own worry is how u intend to repair this damaged friendship, now that the wife denied all allegations of domestic abuse and everything is in his favour?

maasoap:
Are you close to his wife, like her friend to warrant protecting her from her husband when you admitted that you and her husband are not friends or close?

That was sarcasm. Obviously I'm not planning to marry his wife.

Anytime I read about a wife beating, I sympathize with the wife. Especially when the husband is unrepentant.

Do you only help or advocate for people who are very close to you?

CyrusVI:
My own worry is how u intend to repair this damaged friendship, now that the wife denied all allegations of domestic abuse and everything is in his favour?

His wife's denial was expected. The magistrate obviously didn't believe it but they treated him appropriately as a first times offender. The relationship between me and Jarus was highly overrated and will never be repaired.

Seun:
This is offtopic, isn't it?
1. Please post all threads in the right section, and don't derail threads by posting off topic.

m Avctualy it is posted in the right section he is saying this thread is self indulgent and unnecessary and the forum has other priorities

He could be wrong factually maybe and perhaps you find it prickly but there is no better place to place that particular remark
It is generally true that people who have authority or power do not like being criticized but like to wear the mantle of
I am an open ,reasonable and democratic guy
Just a little scratch and you are showing irritability

Yes it has nothing to do with the battle of Seun and Jarus but it is making a point hat is not better made anywhere else
Obviously you refuse to see that

Even if I LOVED being criticized, this is an AMA. You can make your domestic abuser supporting statements elsewhere. Create your own thread.

Just calling out hypocrisy a ubiquitous human trait of which Iam 100% guilty

A little bit of narcissism is quite normal