₦airaland Forum

BlindAngel:
I'm the one paying the bills of course, yesterday I was angry and told her to buy all the maltina and meat pie then she can call her pastor to officiate the naming. She went silent and started calling me wicked, and heartless. I spent almost 400k on her CS spent 73k on the naming but it's time to make a decision and she want to make it.

During our marriage, her mother refused to appear in the church because I said I won't do court marriage, I saw it on my wife chat with her elder sister, she said her mom said she won't come because I'm thinking rubbish by not doing court marriage. And truly she didn't come.

Sounds like you ENJOY embarrassment.

You married into a family of DAMAGED women. Her mother basically called you an IDIOT for not doing a court marriage. Her sister is a baby mama. And I'm guessing her Daddy is either OUT of the picture or a PUSHOVER like you.

Without mincing words, you married WRONG!

Also you need to STOP caring about what people will think/say. For instance, you YIELEDED to your wife's manipulations because she THREATENED to spread a rumour that your mother controls you. Yet people are now talking about how you are a pussy-whipped woman-wrapper that is being controlled by his wife.

Point is people will ALWAYS talk. So do WHATEVER the Bleep you want! And let them talk.

ALSO it seems your wife NOT only controls and manipulates you, she also INSULTS you too. You should NOT be in that marriage. You have an ABUSIVE wife from a HORRIBLE family.

From your stories, I can GUARANTEE your sex life with your wife leaves a lot to be desired. You NEED to get a DNA test ASAP.

P.S. Just saw where OP said his wife's used to share her pussy like biscuits at a kid's birthday party. And her sister is a FULL-TIME baby mama and a part-time HOOKUP girl but somehow he still believes his wife, who was raised by a single mother, is different.

This is in spite of the fact that he was FORCED into marriage by tears and a pregnancy that is most likely NOT his.

OP sounds like an IRREDEEMABLE idiot.

Oche211:
You see, the issue is that you didn't properly vet her before marrying her.

If you did, you would have seen so many redflags. If you aren't sexually attracted to her so much, why then did you fall for her tears to marry her.

You see this naming ceremony thing now? It's the perfect opportunity for you to stamp your authority.

Sometimes, you don't have to wait for women to make some decisions, you make it for them. Understand that women are not capable of making sound, logic decisions without proper guidance.

You never lead your wife during courtship, you are not leading her now.

My woman can't even use tears to manipulate me, cos my No will still be my No and my yes will still be my yes. If you like cry an ocean of tears.

So since she know this, crying or manipulation is out of it. I am surprised at this your predicament.

If only you know the daily cry, you would understand why I bowed to the pressure of getting married to her, which I'm still regretting until date everytime I think that I'm married to someone that I don't love, and worst still not sexually attracted to, it hurts me a lot everytime I think about it, our marriage is just 4 months and I have already started regretting everytime I think that I'm married and I don't have 1% love for who I'm married to, it would still be good if I'm sexually attracted to her, but I'm not. I'm so deeply hurt.

BlindAngel:
Her mom already left their father when they were still young, she was brought up by a single mom.

Last year someone told me that while they were still married her mom was bringing small boys into their matrimonial bed to sex, on the day of our traditional marriage, one mama that lives close to where I lives called me to the corner and said she has a lot to tell me, after the traditional marriage I went to see her and she told me that my wife elder sister is doing runs which I I'm very much aware of, because she came to visit me one day, her and my wife that was when she was still my girlfriend, and she was boosting that no boy will and can ever Bleep her for free. Even her post on whatsapp status is all about sex and Bleep, smoke etc.

She told me also that her mom was once bringing young boys into their house while still married that she lived close to her before.

I didn't noticed any of this trait on my wife, "then girlfriend" and I haven't still noticed despite monitoring and cloning her WhatsApp.

You really married into a wrong family. I doubt if her own father can do this.

If you don't instill that fear in her, you may end up raising another man's child. Just make sure you do DNA as soon as possible before you start paying school fees.

I just have to be sincere with you, there's a huge tendency that you wife might go her mother's way.

If you check well, this same manipulation tactics were what her mother did for her father.

If she herself can testify that her mother brings boys to the house, then don't go to sleep.

Be vigilant and alert. Are you on Twitter?

Nicepoker:
The real Father is that pastor. Have you done DNA?

U like vawulence

Bros, you have a big problem on your hands.. u need to start doing right before your family will starting thinking you've eaten some kind of vegetable. So obviously, she's not attending the same church with you. If that her pastor is a true man of God, he won't name that child. He'd tell her to go with what her husband chooses. It's the honorable thing to do.. we all know; when getting married, it's the bride's parents church, and thanks giving us straight to your church or your own parents church. If u don't take a firm decision, she'll keep manipulating u with her tears.. you've got to damn all that shiiiii.. cos of u don't do that now, what u might do in the nearest future might be worse. Think am well.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Dear Op,

This is the reason why you must be deeply rooted in your faith.
you are allowing woman to manipulate you because you do not know who you are.
Firstly, if you story is true, how come you didn't know your wife pastor.
Why did you have your marriage counselling?
Where did you had your marriage, or you just impregnate her.
Pls try and learn more about marriage and i will suggest you go and read this book "POINT MAN'' by Steve Farrar.
Back to your issue, i will suggest you know the reason while she wants her pastor to do the naming. meet the pastor before the naming to know who he is.
the person that prays over your child/ dedicate him have spiritual implication of his life and destiny.

Bros, with all the additional stuff that you e written, I swear, n only God fit help u oh.. you effed up big time!! And now u have no iota of love for her.. it's as if you wanted a miserable marital life all along. You have a lot to do.

BlindAngel:
If only you know the daily cry, you would understand why I bowed to the pressure of getting married to her, which I'm still regretting until date everytime I think that I'm married to someone that I don't love, and worst still not sexually attracted to, it hurts me a lot everytime I think about it, our marriage is just 4 months and I have already started regretting everytime I think that I'm married and I don't have 1% love for who I'm married to, it would still be good if I'm sexually attracted to her, but I'm not. I'm so deeply hurt.

psucc:
Maybe the Pastor was part of the reproduction process.

Hian

Imagine making children in such nightmarish times. fork breeders

BlindAngel:
Thanks for your input, what I actually meant is that she insist on her pastor officiating the naming ceremony. Which she's always crying endlessly whenever we start arguing about It.

It's obvious you guys did not agree on denomination before getting married. What were you both discussing during courtship?
If you guys were focused during courtship, you'd have agreed about denomination among others.
Go back to the drawing board and discuss church issues critically. I see her insisting that the children be going to this pastor's church later.
Was he only her pastor?

I AM MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, DON'T ALLOW THAT, I REPEAT DON'T ALLOW THAT. WHO IS A PASTOR.
IF YOUR PARENTS ARE ALIVE GET THEM TO NAME THE CHILD.
YOU WOULD HAVE ASKED HERE FIRST BEFORE ACCEPTING HER MANIPULATION.
ALL MY THREE CHILDREN ARE THROUGH CS.
FIRST YOU'RE TO GIVE THE NAME OF THE CHILD TO THE CHURCH: DON'T GIVE ANY NAME, DON'T ATTAIN THE CHURCH, IF THEY ARE COMING TO YOUR HOUSE WALK AWAY, PROPOSE YOUR OWN NAME FOR THE CHILD, IF YOU CAN'T BE MAN ENOUGH TO STOP HER GRIP ON YOUR JUGULAR, AFTER THE WHOLE RUBBISH, START CALLING YOUR SON YOUR PROPOSED NAME. IF THE MONEY IS THERE QUICKLY PERFORM A DNA TEST.
FINALLY I AM TELLING YOU TO TELL HER YOU'VE CHANGED YOUR MIND ON WHAT YOU SAID. AT THE WORSE LET THERE BE NO CEREMONY, INTACT WAIT FOR SATURDAY TO PASS THEN START CALLING YOUR CHILD YOUR PROPOSED NAME.
DON'T GIVE IN TO HER MANIPULATIONS, THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES STARTS WITH A STEP.
DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN
DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN
DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN
DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN
DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN
DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN......

Pastor pikin

If you know, you know

Wow, men dey suffer sha. What is meant to be a thing of joy don turn to stress.
Bro, when a woman cry instead of being accountable, she is manipulating your emotions.

Stand your ground. You married her into your family not the other way round.

Watch out cos he might be the biological father.

I have seen it happened before.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.
Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.
I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?
She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.
Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

Either find a neutral pastor for the sake of peace or do it by yourself. This shouldn't create any trouble in the home whatsoever.

Oga, on the authority part, rest ooo. There are ways to own the authority of the home than letting issues such as this get to you. You chose to be manipulated and this is not a case of challenging your authority. One question is what were you guys discussing during courtship?

You both have some growing up to do on the bolded. Why is your family dictating things in your home? This is a good time to settle the church thing otherwise, you should expect so much of unnecessary tantrums. My suggestion would be to move to a neutral church as it is obvious a logical conclusion wasn't reached before marriage.

Gr8mind07:
Bro,it's obvious you have been a victim of her manipulating tactics since courtship .

Whatever the background church of a lady, it is expected the she bids the church bye - bye at the wedding ceremony and follows her husband to his church. This is the reason that marriage is conducted in the lady's church and thanksgiving at the Man's church.

Even her so called Pastor knows this.

Not necessary. The man might choose to switch church to her church. The most important thing is they should have discussed this and reach a conclusion before the marriage.

BlindAngel:
It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

Don't let social media break your home ooo. There is need to apply wisdom in handling issues as this. You both failed not to reach conclusions while dating and you just need apply wisdom in handling this.

That said, why did you not ask your name be imprinted on the receipt when you made payment? DO NOT blame her for your insufficiencies abeg. On the change of name, what was discussed during courtship? Like they say, yours is a typical example of if love is blind, marriage is an eye opener.

My advice will be bring up the things you feel you want corrected and handle it with care. Gra gra wouldn't solve it and as much as you can, do not bring up the sister changing her name to the baby daddy's name as that is disrespectful and not your business in any way. Deal with your own family in the ways that is best understood by you and your wife.

BlindAngel:
This is what I intend doing, thanks for your advise, I will do as you advised as it's the absolutely best thing to do right now. Although I have already given in on letting her pastor officiate the naming because of her CS operation, for her cry not to affect her.

But after everything, she won't go to that church again and I swear to God that if she refused she will pack her load and go, after all the love isn't there and I'm not sexually attracted to her. Same tears she used in manipulating me in getting married to her is same tears she's still using in getting her way after every little misunderstanding. I will stop her from going to that church, I have had enough already.

I thought from the beginning you were a silly ass and now, you just showed it to the world. Grow up and smell the coffee and stop trying to make her the stupid and unreasonable one when you are not in any way different. If you like, break your home; interestingly, the cheer leaders on here have nothing to lose. The effrontery to type the bolded is alarming.

Oche211:
You still want her to have her way this last time. You are not ready for anything.

If it's me, I will simply tell her I have changed my mind. Let her tell her pastor not to come. That you have made arrangements with your own pastor.
No matter how she disagrees, don't back down. Also, call her father and explain to him and tell him to call both his daughter and their pastor to order.

Tell him your wife has become unreasonable and for all she's done, you aren't comfortable with their pastor coming for the naming.

This is a test to know the family you married into.
Just call her father and tell him to talk to his daughter. In all your discussion with him, insist on not seeing the said pastor in your house on that day.

Again, if it's possible, make sure you take your family far from the church. That's if you can't be firm with this decision

Did they force him to marry her or do you think he is doing her a favor marrying her? He needs thread with caution and as a man learn to lead his home and not just listen to people like you who want to make him feel he is more than he is.

BlindAngel:
We had an argument few weeks ago and she was crying as usual, she was still pregnant then. I told her that she's always using her tears to manipulate me and she swore with the life of the fetus on her womb that she isn't, since then I thought maybe she doesn't know when the tears start flowing and might not be manipulating me, but with what I saw yesterday after the argument, that thought is no longer there, I now fully believe that she's manipulating me with tears at every slight arguments or quarrels.

Regarding her changing her name, this is one thing I have swore never and ever to tell her to do, even though it hurts me to my bone marrow most especially seeing her elder sister on Facebook answering her boyfriend name. I swear that it hurts me so much that she is still answering her father's name but I won't ever confront her about this, common sense is supposed to tell her that immediately after marriage she's supposed to change her surname to my own name, even if it's just her Facebook name for the now. But no, she didn't, she registered for antinental with her surname, and that's why the money I paid for her CS has her name and surname on the receipt.

Uncle, there is courtship for a reason and that wasn't a time for frivolities in the name of love. It was a period to discuss all and everything and not leave things for assumption. At this point, you would need to apply wisdom to bring back those discussions that were missed. Most importantly, you need find an adequate middle ground for you both. You both need make sacrifices where necessary.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

I am the best person to advise you because my wife did exactly the same thing until I used iron hand (authority hand) to cub her. The only difference is that my wife is not from a single mother, but she was a spoilt brat who believes she should always have what she wants and she never likes to be corrected.

The pathetic part of this matter is that she just put to bed. There is an old saying "When mosquito land on your testicle, you will remember there gentle ways of resolving delicate matter.".

1. You have done well by first considering she just put to bed and through CS. She may be going through hormonal changes and psychological trauma which has been proven to affect a woman's behaviour before birth and after birth.

2. Based on all the stories I have read that you wrote, do a DNA test. I am not saying that your wife cheats on you. But this will help you know if your patience is worth the sacrifice.

3. You have already allowed something to go too far. I cannot say you should call a family meeting since your mother-in-law is useless. Since you have already agreed to her terms, then allow this one slide for peace sake.

4. Call your wife to order, by first enforcing the changing of name. Second, let her know there can not be two captains in a ship. Therefore your authority must stand in the house. If she cannot accept that fact, then she should go back to her mother.

5. Start standing your grounds, if she wants to cry. Let her cry. She will start getting used to it.

BlindAngel:
Worst of it all I have already started hearing storing flying around that she's controlling me, all because I gave in for her to allow her pastor officiate the wedding.
I refused and she told me that my mom is controlling me, even though my mom has absolutely nothing to do for me wanting our pastor to do the naming. I, my mom and all my siblings are attending same church, so that's the manipulating word she used for me and I agreed for her pastor to officiate it, I agreed because if another ear should hear such word, It'd spread out and people might believe it's true.
As for she answering my surname, I have already promised myself not to confront her about it, because I expect her to do that immediately after our marriage. But until this very moment she's still answering her father's name.

Oga, you are allowing too many people in your ears. Which one is she is controlling you again? Isn't that expected of you both? Many a times, for couples, there's always that midpoint which to an outsider, it is natural to feel one is controlling the other. It is a loop hole you are putting in your home. You should learn to let things be settled between you both and when you need external advice, seek from people who have nothing to interest in either party otherwise, you will listen to lob sided advice.

BlindAngel:
Her mom already left their father when they were still young, she was brought up by a single mom.

Last year someone told me that while they were still married her mom was bringing small boys into their matrimonial bed to sex, on the day of our traditional marriage, one mama that lives close to where I lives called me to the corner and said she has a lot to tell me, after the traditional marriage I went to see her and she told me that my wife elder sister is doing runs which I I'm very much aware of, because she came to visit me one day, her and my wife that was when she was still my girlfriend, and she was boosting that no boy will and can ever Bleep her for free. Even her post on whatsapp status is all about sex and Bleep, smoke etc.

She told me also that her mom was once bringing young boys into their house while still married that she lived close to her before.

I didn't noticed any of this trait on my wife, "then girlfriend" and I haven't still noticed despite monitoring and cloning her WhatsApp.

You are highly immature running your mouth like tap on here. You knew all these, decided to go with her, and now throw shades at those from single parent home. Oga, please go and focus on your life and learn to filter the things you hear and write. Na beg I dey otherwise, you dey create bigger problems for yourself.

BlindAngel:
I'm the one paying the bills of course, yesterday I was angry and told her to buy all the maltina and meat pie then she can call her pastor to officiate the naming. She went silent and started calling me wicked, and heartless. I spent almost 400k on her CS spent 73k on the naming but it's time to make a decision and she want to make it.

During our marriage, her mother refused to appear in the church because I said I won't do court marriage, I saw it on my wife chat with her elder sister, she said her mom said she won't come because I'm thinking rubbish by not doing court marriage. And truly she didn't come.

Brother, you need therapy and counselling. You don't have to respond to all post.

Ze pasta is za baby zaddy

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Do it in the shrine for peace to reign

Go do DNA. Pastor fit be your child's dad.

Nigerians and their useless pastors sha...

Why are u making it difficult for you any body can officiate, are you both not christians

You guys are fighting over inconsequential things. If you were the man of the house before now, both your wife and your family will follow your direction without stress.

A snake that does not behave like one will be used by kids to tie firewood

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

A simp spotted!!!

are you sure that the pastor is not the real father of that child you are claiming?