₦airaland Forum

superemmy:
lol. This one is proud. Instead of you to humbly accept.

Same thing I'm wondering o. What most people wish to get is what this one is throwing away because of pride

Nicepoker:
Just think of the day that marriage will expire. She will be like "pack your things and leave my father's house"

So you prefer 'pack your things and leave my house'

Awon oni rase.

40yroldman:
Well, houses are not my problem as I have houses of my own. I am a kind of man who wants to dominate my world and my woman, I feel living in a house from her dad will make her feel too independent and less submissive

Then marry a poor girl to achieve your dream of domination.

Hopefully, the poor ones around you have sense to know that their self-worth is much more than whatever money you have to offer.

bukatyne:
So you prefer 'pack your things and leave my house'

Awon oni rase.

Not really

bukatyne:


Then marry a poor girl to achieve your dream of domination.

Hopefully, the poor ones around you have sense to know that their self-worth is much more than whatever money you have to offer.

Poor girls are the worse, they cheat without remorse and will become very disrespectful once you show them the good life.
I regretted having anything to do with 3 different girls from poor backgrounds

frozen70:
Funny as it is, another mam will marry her with such condition and live with her there.

But for a man to accept such, he will remove pride from his life, else he will have problems

Anyway in a serious note, if you can't live with such, just let her go and search for another lady

That's her father's wish and she has to obey the man who raised her up to the level you saw her

My girlfriend doesn't think it's a big deal, she thinks I am overreacting over a simple matter. She doesn't appear to me like someone who will wake up one day and tell me to leave her house.

MrBrownJay1:
so you dont have your own house, someone gives you a free house to live in (as wedding gift), so that you guys can save for your own house etc, but you will refuse because thats her father's house (and will rather waste money on renting a house)?

let me ask: do you have money to buy your own house right now?

I have houses of my own, they may not be in choice locations in town like that of her dad's. I'll prefer to take my wife to my house after marriage even if it's a rented house and not to her father's house.

FRANCISTOWN:
See OP. I don't know whether your father is still alive or not. But if he still dey alive. Every good thing wey dey this life no go miss your father. Your father go live long in good health.

He raised a son.

Jogging thru the comments I saw lots of nonsense that some stupid people were spewing.

You see, the husband remains the head of the family and not all help should be received. Some helps are like porridge to sell your birthright. Those kind of help are very subtle and they come in disguise, as a matter of fact, they come in when you need them the most. But it's a trap. Once you take such help, you sell your freedom.

Regardless of the relationship between your wife and her father. He has no rights to control your home. He has no rights to tell you where to live with your family.
Your father-in-law is only your father by extension, he is not your real father. Your own father who has authority over you can't tell you where to live after your marriage because you are now a man. You are called a married man not a married boy.

Don't mind those ones calling you proud. Pride and self esteem go hand in hand and fools can't differentiate. Let people call you proud. My father would say "not having the least level of pride as a man in itself is a sin". Chai! God bless my father.

Don't give the steering wheel of your marriage vehicle to your father-in-law.

It is not a bad thing to gift you a house, but it is slavery to dictate how to use the gift. That's like putting a leash on people.

Call your father-in-law. Seek to meet him. Talk to him face to face. Appreciate his gift, massage his ego, patronize him so much. Tell him you want to be a man like your father and like him. Tell him you want your children to be proud of you, the same way his daughter is proud of him. Tell him you appreciate the gift but you won't be staying there.

This is a red flag on your wife's part. Having a good relationship with her father doesn't mean anything. Some fathers are naturally stupid and full of emotions. Her father is no longer her figure of authority. You are.

There is already a high chance that your father in-law would be the one controlling your home.
Take the house , but never sleep there with your family. When your kids are of age, hand it over to them.

I've said it. I'd rather I sleep on the streets than sleep in a house that comes from a woman who is not a relative.
Be a man and grow some balls.
Anyways I wish you peace.

Thank you very much brother.
Men like you are becoming rear by the day, the reason why the world has become such a mess.

SAMBARRY:
Mr man if you want to be great in life you have to let go of pride otherwise you will be missing opportunities and be struggling over things you should ordinarily have with ease.

Oyinbo talk say pride goeth before a fall

Even the bible says the Lord brings down the proud and lifteth the humble
.

Yoruba talk say person who get head no get cap,person wey get cap no get head. Some people have father inlaws that have turned to an unavoidable liability always billing their daughters husband. You get the one wey offer to be asset you still dey form. I wish I knew that your girlfriend dad.ill tell him that you are an unserious fellow who doesn't know what he wants plus you have pride and superiority complex issues.

You see the way men hate and despise unsubmissive and promiscuous women, that's the same way many wome get turned off/put off by men suffering pride and useless ego.

You get big ego na him your ego no fit get you a better house

We all know what we want in life, I'll never submit my authority as head of my home to my father in law or any man, even if he's the richest man in the whole world.
There are values that transcends money and material possessions.

40yroldman:
I have houses of my own, they may not be in choice locations in town like that of her dad's. I'll prefer to take my wife to my house after marriage even if it's a rented house and not to her father's house.

bro, if you'd rather rent a house than get a free house from your father in law then you sir are a 40YR OLD FOOL DRIVEN BY YOUR MISPLACED IMMATURE EGO (no offense)

MrBrownJay1:
bro, if you'd rather rent a house that get a free house from your father in law then you sir are a 40YR OLD FOOL DRIVEN BY YOUR MISPLACED IMMATURE EGO (no offense)

I am no fool Oga, I am experienced enough to know there's nothing like a free gift in this world.
I hope you get to that level of maturity some day.

40yroldman:
We all know what we want in life, I'll never submit my authority as head of my home to my father in law or any man, even if he's the richest man in the whole world.
There are values that transcends money and material possessions.

there's a difference between value (self respect) which is a good trait. And pride which is a bad trait that leads to self destruct.the bible says submit yourself one to another. If a woman can submit to her mother inlaw out of love and respect for her husband, why can't the husband submit to his father inlaw.

If you see a woman that her mother in law offered something and she rejected it,everyone will shout pride but because you are what, you cannot submit? Orisirisi

40yroldman:
I am no fool Oga, I am experienced enough to know there's nothing like a free gift in this world.
I hope you get to that level of maturity some day.

you are a 40yr immature fool (no offense) who let your misplaced ego get in the way of your common sense...

you'd rather take your family to a rented place and pay rent instead of living in her father's gifted house RENT-FREE?! of course there is no such thing as a free gift, but until stated otherwise, you are just assuming yeye nonsense. take the gift, enjoy it while it lasts and use that momentum to save as much money as you possibly can (for your family). the minute your new wife steps out of line then get the fukc out of that house (but dont foolishly judge a book by its cover).

BTW you will get even less respect from a woman if you show her how foolish OR unnecessary proud you are, to the point where you are ready and willing to hurt your own family/children, just to satisfy your misplaced ego. house you no get, but you want to act as if you are such a big man that you cant live in your father in law's free place. no wonder so many people out there stay broke even when somebody gives them a hand.

as predicted, you automatically believe that because its her father's house, you will lose your authority bla bla bla and that now your wife will be the new head of the family (because its her father's house), lol! MISPLACED EGO and LOW SELF ESTEEM at play!

ok

40yroldman:
My girlfriend doesn't think it's a big deal, she thinks I am overreacting over a simple matter. She doesn't appear to me like someone who will wake up one day and tell me to leave her house.

Ok fine and if you are cool with that, then no problem.

But I didn't say that she will ask you to leave the house one day

He can give you the house, but to insist that you live there undermines you.

She no dey die again?

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?