₦airaland Forum

Delightsome2023:
ahnie shut up

Who is this yabaleft escapee?

pocohantas:
Apples and oranges. How did you mention Jarùs and Odanz in this conversation?

1) Jarùs and Odanz are not divorcees.

Yes, you're right. The point I was trying to get across was that women still get attracted to men in marriages, not to mention those who are divorced. Statistically speaking, It's a lot easier for men to jump back into the dating pool than it is for women. To add Icing on the cake, Divorced men can secure women younger than their ex-wives. I don't care about the circumstances around it, the fact remains, married men, or divorced men, don't automatically lose value in the dating market. What's that thing wives complain about? oh, it's "He's chasing younger women?" Common!

2) Jarùs was set to marry the 2nd wife.

So? look at this from the perspective of the second-to-be wife. What goes on in the head of a woman that she's willing to take the position of number 2 or side chick and be committed to said married man?

3) Jarùs is not broke. He is a highly skilled professional.

Brokenness is relative. As I pointed out to Buky. Brokeness compared to who? It's left for you to define what you mean by "broke."

4) Odanz might be broke, but he has Twitter fame. Something that is an allure to the girl who is on the same platform.

Oh, we have shifted the goalpost now to fame. I didn't automatically get chicks flocking around me even though I was popular in the department and had remarkable grades. No. The guy who was able to go to Dubai and come back with an iPhone 6s in 2015 was the one that girls called "daddy" in my presence. And, even many years after, they still do. "Broke" divorcees still get women. I don't know what world you're living in?

5) Odanz seems to be a young guy. You can get away with a lot as a young guy. As you get older more is expected.

Let's not forget the society we live in, Poco. It's not the "land of the free" where the average age gap is 2-5 years. It's more like 10-20 years here. So, a 40-year-old divorcee isn't exactly off the dating pool yet. In fact, all he has to do is put up an appearance and attend any church. He will find babes ages 20-44 who will be interested in him.

6) Jarùs gave his first wife 5m to placate her into accepting the second wife. OP here called 250k annual rent HIGH.

Relative to the lady, it still doesn't make him broke. Relative to Elon Musk, Dangote is broke. That doesn't mean Dangote isn't appealing to ladies of lower status than him. My point is, to you, he might be broke. To the lady in question, very much not so!

7) None of the women attached to the above men were expected to come cohabit to cook, clean and wash.

For Odanz, sure. For Jarus, I don't think so.

8 ) Given that you are obviously mixing up married men and divorcees. Do know that a lot of these ladies love the thrill if it is to chop from outside. That is because the first wife is inside doing the work. Tell them to come inside and take over pounding akpu and majority will run.

I do. But, that's not the only factor at play here.

Divorcees could be a catch. But a divorcee who can't do his laundry himself and still cannot afford washing machine or drycleaner to handle it, is definitely not in this spectrum for most ladies. Stop the delulu.

How many single guys do all the above themselves? they still get women! The vast majority of women go into marriages expecting to do these chores---especially the ones who can't afford 250k per month. Again, a gentle reminder, that the dynamics of the dating pool are very different from what it is in the West. The women who don't expect to do the aforementioned expect to contribute 50% to the household expenses.

Any guy, except in a few rich cities, that earns 100k per month in Nigeria will attract women like mango attracts flies. Heck, I was earning 20k some time ago and still attracted women. Lots and lots of em. No delulu here. You're just using a Western dynamic to judge a Nigerian matter. Na you suppose warm eba.

Divorced man has already chop and clean mouth, probably with multiple ladies, you say "he's not hot cake."

kkins25:
Yes, you're right. The point I was trying to get across was that women still get attracted to men in marriages, not to mention those who are divorced. Statistically speaking, It's a lot easier for men to jump back into the dating pool than it is for women. To add Icing on the cake, Divorced men can secure women younger than their ex-wives. I don't care about the circumstances around it, the fact remains, married men, or divorced men, don't automatically lose value in the dating market. What's that thing wives complain about? oh, it's "He's chasing younger women?" Common!



So? look at this from the perspective of the second-to-be wife. What goes on in the head of a woman that she's willing to take the position of number 2 or side chick and be committed to said married man?


Brokenness is relative. As I pointed out to Buky. Brokeness compared to who? It's left for you to define what you mean by "broke."




Oh, we have shifted the goalpost now to fame. I didn't automatically get chicks flocking around me even though I was popular in the department and had remarkable grades. No. The guy who was able to go to Dubai and come back with an iPhone 6s in 2015 was the one that girls called "daddy" in my presence. And, even many years after, they still do. "Broke" divorcees still get women. I don't know what world you're living in?



Let's not forget the society we live in, Poco. It's not the "land of the free" where the average age gap is 2-5 years. It's more like 10-20 years here. So, a 40-year-old divorcee isn't exactly off the dating pool yet. In fact, all he has to do is put up an appearance and attend any church. He will find babes ages 20-44 who will be interested in him.



Relative to the lady, it still doesn't make him broke. Relative to Elon Musk, Dangote is broke. That doesn't mean Dangote isn't appealing to ladies of lower status than him. My point is, to you, he might be broke. To the lady in question, very much not so!


For Odanz, sure. For Jarus, I don't think so.

I do. But, that's not the only factor at play here.



How many single guys do all the above themselves? they still get women! The vast majority of women go into marriages expecting to do these chores---especially the ones who can't afford 250k per month. Again, a gentle reminder, that the dynamics of the dating pool are very different from what it is in the West. The women who don't expect to do the aforementioned expect to contribute 50% to the household expenses.

Any guy, except in a few rich cities, that earns 100k per month in Nigeria will attract women like mango attracts flies. Heck, I was earning 20k some time ago and still attracted women. Lots and lots of em. No delulu here. You're just using a Western dynamic to judge a Nigerian matter. Na you suppose warm eba.

Divorced man has already chop and clean mouth, probably with multiple ladies, you say "he's not hot cake."

My problem with you is you start a narrative then deflect.

The summary is, a divorced man who is tired of washing his clothes and can't afford a drycleaner or washing machine in 2024 is not a spec for most young ladies. Whether they can secure wives faster than their wives wasn't the topic!!

Thank you

There are some narration and thought I need to address. Any one that wants to know more about my story should visit my page. I got separated going two years now, I met this girl after my separation, when I met her, I was just looking for someone to talk to and share personal stuffs with, but it seems she was looking for something more serious which I wasn't ready for mentally and emotionally due to what I experienced in my formal marriage . Maybe I will say I have gotten to comfortable being alone and doing my stuff alone so I wasn't ready for commitment. All these just came as a rush. When she got the accomodations issues, I just want to be there for her as her boyfriend, she wasn't the one that brought in the idea of coming to stay at my place, I was the one that told her and she strongly opposed to it, I felt she got no choice to succumb to the idea after what she went through in getting at accommodations in lagos and the stress she went through. The money to pay rent wasn't the issue as she works, but it was my idea for her to save up and stay my place. It was when she moved in that I later discovered this wasn't a good idea and at that time , it was difficult to tell her to move out as it will look somehow and will definitely after the relationship afterwards that I pushed her out. She is a good girl, she works and earn close to 200k. I work aswell and earn pretty good which I thought we living together will help us plan better. Now she is already getting comfortable at my place and not interested in getting a place again.now how do I tell her to support or contribute cos as it is , am not financially prepared for this as it came up impromptu. I am just confused and don't want to mess up things for myself. After my separation,I told myself I don't want any relationship cos I need to build myself, but how I found myself in this is still surprising. Pls I need people with realtime experience to chip in how to navigate this..

pocohantas:
Apples and oranges. How did you mention Jarùs and Odanz in this conversation?

1) Jarùs and Odanz are not divorcees.

2) Jarùs was set to marry the 2nd wife.

3) Jarùs is not broke. He is a highly skilled professional.

4) Odanz might be broke, but he has Twitter fame. Something that is an allure to the girl who is on the same platform.

5) Odanz seems to be a young guy. You can get away with a lot as a young guy. As you get older more is expected.

6) Jarùs gave his first wife 5m to placate her into accepting the second wife. OP here called 250k annual rent HIGH.

7) None of the women attached to the above men were expected to come cohabit to cook, clean and wash.

8 ) Given that you are obviously mixing up married men and divorcees. Do know that a lot of these ladies love the thrill if it is to chop from outside. That is because the first wife is inside doing the work. Tell them to come inside and take over pounding akpu and majority will run.


Divorcees could be a catch. But a divorcee who can't do his laundry himself and still cannot afford washing machine or drycleaner to handle it, is definitely not in this spectrum for most ladies. Stop the delulu.

Na my matter una dey take do analysis here 😀

I dey bench dey watch o

Good, kind husband of 13 years (no one gives all to keep a wicked man 😎). Not a single issue.

But one issue, arguably not caused by me, I don become subject of discussion. Lmao. Enjoying the analysis sha. Me I no kuku send anybody papa.

Jarus:
Na my matter una dey take do analysis here 😀

I dey bench dey watch o

Good, kind husband of 13 years (no one gives all to keep a wicked man 😎). Not a single issue.

But one issue, I don become subject of discussion. Lmao. Enjoying the analysis sha.

Congrats on that, Sir.

cococandy:
You want a wife but without the commitment.

You want her to bring money for you and also cook and clean up after you. How can a divorced after one man like you get a virgin and that wasn’t enough for you, you still want her to pay you and cook and clean for you.

Then in 3 years time you’ll call her old and used even though she probably did everything she felt she needed to show you love.

Na who no know una.

you can't just disappoint when it comes to disappointing sha ..see twisting
even a 5yrs old male will understand the Op is coming from a context of "helpmate" "share basic bills to lighten up each other burden, isnt relationship about helping each other or its off your feminist syllabus

if not a woman sick upstair, how do you feel sitting comfortably down and you watch your man sweep the house, wash plate and cook meals and you as a lady will feel as what even kim kardashian cooked meal for kanye aunty who you be

can a man watch a lady pull the generator or try fix the bulbin the house nd he won't get up to takeover

she should have taken her virginity to adrions home or Arc view to collect a house since it worth so much .. nonsense n gwogwo

thank god you married in the dark days now that there is light na lesbian yu for be benchwarmer for shiloh..

bukatyne:
This post summarises it.

Well, it happens when a woman doesn't know that she is a woman hence should approach matters of the heart like a woman.

i wish some mothers are online to read there daughters comment ... so they will sto troubling god
most of yu ladies here can'T even boast of a 1yr solid relationship but will come online forming madea

Jarus:
Na my matter una dey take do analysis here 😀

I dey bench dey watch o

Good, kind husband of 13 years (no one gives all to keep a wicked man 😎). Not a single issue.

But one issue, arguably not caused by me, I don become subject of discussion. Lmao. Enjoying the analysis sha. Me I no kuku send anybody papa.

It's like you are even enjoying the dragging. The way you try to play the victim claiming innocent blablabla is very annoying. You are very manipulative and obviously your wife has fallen for your manipulation

bukatyne:
This is beyond 'giving' her body.

Except she doesn't have a good plan for herself, the OP is not a spec.

A man who thinks that N250k annual rent is 'on the high side' is broke. N250k rent in itself is cheap meaning an accommodation that isn't 'decent' or in the outskirts of town (except they are not in a capital city).

Why would a virgin be with a broke divorcee with kids? If he were young like her, we would say they are starting life together.

He is already second hand and he doesn't have the finance to make up for it? He doesn't have systems in place and is looking for someone to do chores and pay bills?

A red billboard for a single virgin (well, I am speaking for myself).

was virgin mary with e-money or does carpenter sounds like a money bag, some of you can be very funny how many of you can proudly post the picture of the man that disvirgined your malnourished ass wayback

Aunty you were onces a virgin why did you not end up with a man of forbes ... yhenyhen

chidiokay:
i wish some mothers are online to read there daughters comment ... so they will sto troubling god
most of yu ladies here can'T even boast of a 1yr solid relationship but will come online forming madea

And I hope your mother would read yours so she knows the outcome of her labour over you.

EreluRoz:
It's like you are even enjoying the dragging. The way you try to play the victim claiming innocent blablabla is very annoying. You are very manipulative and obviously your wife has fallen for your manipulation

I don’t engage lilliputians with no internet pedigree.

I don’t know you.

Jarus:
I don’t engage lilliputians with no internet pedigree.

I don’t know you.

So it is your internet pedigree that you are fighting so hard for?

Unfortunately I know you but let me not complete this statement. Rest in Jesus name

chidiokay:
how do you feel sitting comfortably down and you watch your man sweep the house, wash plate and cook meals and you as a lady will feel as what ..

Very relaxed

We4all:
Didn't you know that the average Nigerian man gets married so he can stop washing, cooking and cleaning?

This yahoo girl, what is your beef with hardworking Nigerian guys?

Have you gotten yourself a legit work or still impersonating others on Fiverr?

cococandy:
Very relaxed

don't mistake sitting on a leoplastic chair for "relaxed" ... i have seen the legs break couple of times

bukatyne:
And I hope your mother would read yours so she knows the outcome of her labour over you.

before labour she knows she is expecting a male son ... these morning she don call to pray for me against witches like you, coco , poco and ishi

Afodot0022:
Good day my lovely people, it always good to share life with you people here. Pls I need to ask, what is the advantage and disadvantage of living together with your girlfriend under the same roof. My girlfriend had an accommodations problem, her friend they stay together kick her out for no just reason, she wanted to get an apartment and the money she was ask to bring was quite much 250k, I convinced her to come stay with me and save that money for other things, initially she opposed but later agreed to come stay.
My reasons for her staying are there..
1... I want to get to know her better cos I believe when you live with someone in the same space, that's when you get to know them better, I was once married and have learnt a lot on how ladies pretend in dating but show their true color in marriage, atleast I want to know her well before making another serious commitment of marriage.
2... She works and earn a decent salary which I think will be an added advantage for me by her supporting by we both sharing bills together, it will lessen by burden. Though I haven't discussed this with her yet but hope to soon cos I can't let her depend solely one me while she works.
3.... Ever since I separated from my wife, it's not been easy living alone as a man, the cooking ,washing ,cleaning and loneliness has not been easy, so we living together will atleast help me in these area.
To be candid, the girl is a good girl and I was the one that disvirgin her, she is submissive and respect me, but you know you can really say of a person character until you live with them.

Now my question is to those that have been in this situation of living together with a girlfriend you are yet to marry, how did this affect the relationship afterwards. Pls share your experience be it negative or positive, I really want to learn from others to see if I can proceed on this or just abort mission by not allowing her to stay any longer. Do you think it make sense I share bills with her or I should should all financial responsibility even though am not capable of that now.. pls help me to navigate this scenario

A couple cohabiting offers a number of benefit. One of such benefit is the fact that you you get to understand your partner better. If he or she is faking initially, cohabiting would bring to light their schemes. It is also a useful tool is testing compatibility, especially if this period is invested in thoughtful discourse and not just coitus.

However, I would strongly proscribe to this. A wise man once posited that if you can milk the cow for free, you may not see the need in buying the cow. Same analogy can be applied here. Cohabiting with your partner may delay the process of marriage. The man, most especially, may not see the need in doing the needful. If care is not taken, the process of being a baby mama/baby papa may be initialized further putting the couple in a state of rigmarole.

If I had a say, I would prescribe that she puts up with you for the time being, but with house hunting in view. She works and earns well, thus she can be able spare some cash for rent.

I am also bothered about the needs you highlighted. I'm talking about the cooking, cleaning et al. Is that why you want her around or you truly seek genuine companionship. Are you with this lady because of the potential benefits you stand to gain from her. Are you a user? Are you trying to milk the cow without acquiring it? If you so much desire companionship and she is a good woman, why not start off the marriage process?


All the best!

Nnamdipapa:
This yahoo girl, what is your beef with hardworking Nigerian guys?

Have you gotten yourself a legit work or still impersonating others on Fiverr?

Are you back from hiding after scamming and begging. Oh! I forgot that you were active with the other monikers and using them to beg.

Nnamdipapa:
This yahoo girl, what is your beef with hardworking Nigerian guys?

Have you gotten yourself a legit work or still impersonating others on Fiverr?

Are you back from hiding after scamming and begging. Oh! I forgot that you were active with the other monikers and using them to beg.

Nnamdipapa:
This yahoo girl, what is your beef with hardworking Nigerian guys?

Have you gotten yourself a legit work or still impersonating others on Fiverr?

So a fraudster like you is now a 'hardworking man'?

pocohantas:
My problem with you is you start a narrative then deflect.

We can't keep repeating "It's an Apple." "No, it's a Peach." Since such kinds of arguments are known to have one final destination (pun intended). Hence, my comparative approach aims to infer and deduce. Otherwise, it would be a "who gets a mouth pass" kind of argument. And, that never leads to knowing the truth.

But yeah, maybe I do. My fingers or mouth can't keep up with my mind, unfortunately.

The summary is, a divorced man who is tired of washing his clothes and can't afford a dry cleaner or washing machine in 2024 is not a spec for most young ladies. Whether they can secure wives faster than their wives wasn't the topic!!

Thank you

Yes, Mama...

Juliearth:
A couple cohabiting offers a number of benefit. One of such benefit is the fact that you you get to understand your partner better. If he or she is faking initially, cohabiting would bring to light their schemes. It is also a useful tool is testing compatibility, especially if this period is invested in thoughtful discourse and not just coitus.

However, I would strongly proscribe to this. A wise man once posited that if you can milk the cow for free, you may not see the need in buying the cow. Same analogy can be applied here. Cohabiting with your partner may delay the process of marriage. The man, most especially, may not see the need in doing the needful. If care is not taken, the process of being a baby mama/baby papa may be initialized further putting the couple in a state of rigmarole.

If I had a say, I would prescribe that she puts up with you for the time being, but with house hunting in view. She works and earns well, thus she can be able spare some cash for rent.

I am also bothered about the needs you highlighted. I'm talking about the cooking, cleaning et al. Is that why you want her around or you truly seek genuine companionship. Are you with this lady because of the potential benefits you stand to gain from her. Are you a user? Are you trying to milk the cow without acquiring it? If you so much desire companionship and she is a good woman, why not start off the marriage process?


All the best!

hmmmm..... deep!!!

Jarus:
Na my matter una dey take do analysis here 😀

I dey bench dey watch o

Good, kind husband of 13 years (no one gives all to keep a wicked man 😎). Not a single issue.

But one issue, arguably not caused by me, I don become subject of discussion. Lmao. Enjoying the analysis sha. Me I no kuku send anybody papa.

Jarus, you are nothing worth emulating, not in character, trait, and even intellectually, because if you are as intelligent as most people claim, you should be able to control yourself sexually, you lack contentment and discipline it's obvious.

....

@Biglittlelois:

I am wondering why you are posting private chats between him and various women.

Last I remembered, he has not commericalized himself as a faithful, monogamous husband so I don't see the need to prove to us he is adulterous/ propositioning other women.

I think this is wrong.

However, if you want to carry on, it is fine; we are here for the tea.

It would just confirm that he was/is an adulterous husband and tell us that you are in the mix: one of the wives, an ignored ex, scorned/friendzoned or a current side piece hoping to be a wife.

2020/ 2021 chats in 2024.

I saw it on IG and I wouldn't know why she is posting it in 2024. While I am not a fan of the man, one cannot possibly cry more than the bereaved (his wives).


Except in cases of sexual abuse and blackmail, I don't understand the idea of a grown woman posting chats like this. Worse years after it happened.

bukatyne:
@Biglittlelois:

I am wondering why you are posting private chats between him and various women.

Last I remembered, he has not commericalized himself as a faithful, monogamous husband so I don't see the need to prove to us he is adulterous/ propositioning other women.

I think this is wrong.

However, if you want to carry on, it is fine; we are here for the tea.

It would just confirm that he was/is an adulterous husband and tell us that you are in the mix: one of the wives, an ignored ex, scorned/friendzoned or a current side piece hoping to be a wife.

Lol the bolded is funny

It's either you're bored, or you're looking for long unnecessary talks this Sunday evening, cos how you came to that conclusion is very funny

It's like saying ladies that retweeted and reposted that information on twitter are one of his wives, ignored exes, scorned/friend zoned, or current side pieces hoping to be a wife, even poco who made emphasis on it isn't as unwise and daft as you to arrive at that conclusion.

Biglittlelois:
Jarus, you are nothing worth emulating, not in character, trait, and even intellectually, because if you are as intelligent as most people claim, you should be able to control yourself sexually, you lack contentment and discipline it's obvious.

.

pocohantas:
2020/ 2021 chats in 2024.

I saw it on IG and I wouldn't know why she is posting it in 2024. While I am not a fan of the man, one cannot possibly cry more than the bereaved (his wives).


Except in cases of sexual abuse and blackmail, I don't understand the idea of a grown woman posting chats like this. Worse years after it happened.

The girl is stupid. There was a CAUGHT though 😆