I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home - Family - Nairaland
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| I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by ojobolinda(op): 5:17pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
I regret getting married. My marriage is just a year old. I can't go into details but the bottom line is, I am not divorcing just want a separation. Reason for my decision 1) I hate sex where as my husband loves it. I have being unable to satisfactory fulfill my conjugal duties to him. I can stay a year without sex and I am happy but its unfair to my husband because he loves sex. We quarrel about it often. 2) Where we are living is affecting my mental health and I pleaded with him for us to relocate but he refused. There are more which I can't type because it will make the post lengthy I want to live apart from my husband and his family. I just want to move to another state and stay alone, all by myself. Marriage is not for me. I don't want my parent to know about it too because they wouldn't approve of it ( I have always given them this impression that I am happy in my marriage). I am currently pregnant and we both agreed he will have custody of the child when he is born. I just want to know if I will regret my action in the long run |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by MaziObinnaokija: 5:19pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
I doubt u understand urself ? Hope nor be village people dey pour ⛽️ on top of ur matter abi dem dey use ur head play jazz . Why married when u HATE S€X ?.U want the poor man to waste his hard earned money to go rent 🏠 elsewhere ? Do u knw the cost of living/rent apartment now?.If u separate, you'll go back to yo papa 🏠 abi? U never born sef ? If he start cheating on u/carry one mgbeke around, you'll be busy sniffing his boxer, check his phone,monitor him up/down,fight every girl u see with him abib ? I want to believe u were still In yo late 20,u dnt understand the meaning of marriage. Separate from him till white hair cover yo snail u hear. ![]() Orisirisi oro buruku t'ohun t'erin |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by ActiveFarms: 5:25pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
You will regret it greatly. You are going through a shift from the way you've structured your life and unable to manage between your new reality and your previous way of life. What you need is older women to speak with you in continuous counselling sessions that may span as much as two years period to help you improve in life in your marriage. If it's that character instilled from ones Faith, remember, God ordained procreation and sex in martial relations |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by advanceDNA: 5:38pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
When they say some pple have no business being married this is an example...... but they get married anyways and start causing wahala..... |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by MaziObinnaokija: 5:38pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
make u sha nor dey go collect prayer around,climb mountain,fasting N Prayer, enter baba 🛖 and Alfa place..Continue dey hide ur kitten from drilling equipment/machine.Nor go born pikin ![]() |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by advanceDNA: 5:42pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ActiveFarms:Oga......don't let her frustrate another woman's son..nor be by force marriage is not for everyone.....there are natural loners in this world that thrive in solitude...... and some pple's body don't have sexual drive or don't enjoy sexual intercourse, mayb hormonal problem, mayb past trauma,or nature's design or whatver .... some pple are just like that...... |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by LilMissFavvy(f): 6:11pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
You should have dated the man before marrying him. Maybe you don't really love him or find him attractive, because if you do, you wouldn't feel this way. Tell oga what to do, and speak up when you don't feel comfortable. Go meet a professional marriage counselor, I don't mean elderly people, family people or people in church, go to a professional counselor so that you will feel free to speak up and be advised. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by MarketDispatch: 6:20pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:Davido has already answered you...if you want to leave o biko leave ...... your Husband will shapperly replace |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Maeve7: 7:59pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:What about sex do you dislike? Have you ever climaxed? Is there pre-intimacy before your husband starts? Do you have romantic moments during the day, kiss or hug? What about the place where you live is so bad? Why doesn’t your husband want to relocate? What are his reasons? |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Stevenbright(m): 8:00pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:Why did you get married, if marriage is not for you? |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by veli1(m): 8:23pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
Ok ooo. Leave am na. Ladies wey love sex go carry am. He ain't gat norrhing to lose babe. Bye bye!!! |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:44pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
how is separation (And not divorce) gonna solve the issues your mentioned?! what you should do is GROW UP and FACE YOUR PARENT about your divorces wishes. if you and hubby already settled the pregnancy issue then just divorce the man as marriage AINT FOR YOU. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Kobojunkieee: 8:51pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:Marriage is not for everybody. About half of the population are meant to live a single existence but because of the warped cultures/traditions including religious lies we are fed, many go around believing otherwise. ![]() Your mistake was likely getting married and then pregnant knowing all along that you were never cut out for all of it. I believe you are making the right decision to leave the marriage now and not later on. No need to regret your decision. Work on accepting yourself for who you are which is someone who probably does not need marriage or anything that has to do with it. ![]() |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Knightred(m): 9:52pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
Bye bye |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by franchasofficia: 10:31pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:Why did you deceive the young man from the start that you are ready to be his wife? I suspect your husband is struggling financially hence your lack of interest in having sex with him. This is common among women of this era. Money brings out the sexual beast in today's modern ladies, and lack of money kills their libido towards their man. A man's provision is his shield, sadly. Please go ahead and abscond and list your reasons on a plain sheet of paper and drop it where he would see and then disappear like you want ![]() |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by realtalk19: 11:03pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:Pregnancy hormones at work |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Mjshexy(f): 11:20pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
Just two questions : 1. How old are you? 2. Were you forced into marrying your husband? |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by IamAsiri: 11:31pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
MaziObinnaokija:So you didn't digest the post? |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by frozen70(f): 11:36pm On Aug 18, 2024 |
ojobolinda:In as much as you have fully made up your mind to separate from your husband, are you going to be satisfied if another woman comes in and take your place In that case you still remain his first wife staying else where and his mistress or dedicated wife stays with him and the house now belongs to her because she is willing to live in the house that you are not comfortable with. Well stay and give birth,nurture you child and think twice about your moving out or separation and when you move out, he will replace you and no one will blame him because he never chased you out |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Ephort: 12:02am On Aug 19, 2024 |
ojobolinda:First seek professional assistance. There are many online and offline psychotherapists and counsellors. You need to address the root of your problem instead of focusing on the symptoms. You may be battling with childhood trauma (separated parents, childhood abuse, neglect, or maltreatment, etc.). You may also have some depressive tendencies. I was in your husband's position, and it is, I must say, a terrible place to be. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by 4ward4: 4:59am On Aug 19, 2024 |
The shift from Single hood to becoming a Wife isn't an easy one , Same applies to your husband. He either isn't finding it funny, but your problems aren't like the normal Shift problems people experience. Thereby making me doubt, if you really dated and loved this man. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by cococandy(f): 7:17am On Aug 19, 2024 |
Are you new to sex in general and just now discovering you hate it? or do you just hate doing it with him? If you knew you hated it, why did you get married? Wouldn’t you say that’s unfair to him knowing how you feel about sex and getting married anyway? If the problem is just that you’re new to it and learning the ropes. Give yourself time. Pregnancy might be affecting your feelings as well. Instead of quarreling/fighting about it, why not talk about it instead. Are you concerned that if he knows what your reasons are for hating it, he won’t work with you to try to fix it? |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Tallesty1(m): 7:33am On Aug 19, 2024 |
There's nothing we no go see in this generation of mental health 🚶🏿 🚶🏿 |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Stevenbright(m): 7:43am On Aug 19, 2024 |
franchasofficia:Good idea. She should add that the man should move on with his life for good as she is out for ever!! |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by minasu190: 8:57am On Aug 19, 2024 |
Did they force you into marriage? Because you don't like sex that's reason for you to run away from your marriage. I pity for the unborn baby, because he/she will be the one to suffer it. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by ayo2008: 9:41am On Aug 19, 2024 |
Please don't leave . There is a need for you and your husband to thrash some issues in love. God hates either separation or divorce. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Kobojunkieee: 10:18am On Aug 19, 2024*. Modified: 12:45pm On Aug 19, 2024 |
ayo2008:Stop lying to people. The God of Israel said that to an audience comprised solely of Israelites. This much is made clear in book of Malachi where you stole that quote from. The same God is however record to have permitted divorce in His land and had his people enforce that law beginning with the very man through whom He gave it -- Moses. Yes, God of Israel hates divorce but He permitted it anyways, and never changed His mind of any of that. ![]() By the way, OP never said she is an Israelite, so why would you quote an idea that applies only to those of the bloodline of Jacob at her. No be mumu be that! ![]() |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by ibechris(m): 12:58pm On Aug 19, 2024 |
ojobolinda:U don't like sex but how come u got pregnant...wait oh,were u raped? |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by YoungDaNaval(m): 2:37pm On Aug 19, 2024 |
Marriage? No be me and Una. |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Mikespecialone(m): 4:23pm On Aug 19, 2024 |
Don’t worry 😉 a time will come when you will run begging him to accept you back and it will be too late.... write today’s date down |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Ogbuu101: 5:48pm On Aug 19, 2024 |
franchasofficia:Sadly,most of todays girls have an ashawo mentality when it comes to sex and 90% of them who are like that carry it into marriage. Cos I’m sure she must’ve been giving it to the guy 10 times a day when they were dating,but now the extra expenses associated with marriage has come in and money is no longer flowing she suddenly doesn’t like sex |
| Re: I Want To Leave My Matrimonial Home by Maeve7: 10:00pm On Aug 19, 2024 |
Ogbuu101:What if she was a virgin when she got married? What if she didn’t know what sex was like and that she wouldn’t like it? Learn to understand before you judge, |
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I doubt u understand urself
. Why married when u HATE S€X