₦airaland Forum

Papilagreen:
I read your your story and I fell I can just say this to you. In life, we have ups and downs. We learn in life by our actions we take and as such, we use that lesson learnt to perfect our next future step in life.

Bro let me drop you a small advice and I hope you take from this.

1, take a break from the world, if I would say do it this way, take a break from the life you living now by
1, from that money you have now make a six months adequate plan for support for your wife and child financially so they will be okay for the next 6 to 7 months, then just go to a very remote village where nobody knows you leave all tech behind don't even go with any phone, your first one month there if it's drink or smoke do it as much as you can for one month and after one month sober up if you can if it takes you more than a month keep going but make sure you sober up and when you do, take the next 5 months and meditate and experience and embrace nature. Play with ants, butterflies, birds. Hunt for your food. Learn how to swim live in a hunt live like Tarzan if possible and during this process, think of the things that you know that makes you happy if your son or wife included know who you can call family and blood from your immediate family I e father mother brothers sisters. When you know you have seen the life in a bright side, come back to your wife and son and then you can go ahead and plan which country and which skills you want to follow.

Some people might say I am over saying it but this are my reasons for giving you this advice.

I know you have made up your mind to relocate to another country to start afresh and for your young age I am very certain you can make it work for you and your family.
But know this

1, no amount of money you take with you from Nigeria, will be enough when you relocate to a first world country. It is the money you start making here that will make it all count.

2, you need to get your head and shit together before you relocate because you will live a lonely single depressed life for the next 5 to 6 years because nobody knows you and nobody send you. Before you make a TRUE friend here it takes years because everyone is always on the move or indoors.

3 before you can settle down in another man country will take you life tears and sweat. Every night you go to bed crying and asking God why me? Or God did I make the right decision? But I will definitely tell you this today that as long as you get your shit straight and trust the process, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

4. Every country get their problems and mostly when you have the thick wonderful shining black skin color that makes you special when they wish they had deep down.
5.Abroad will test you bad as in real bad. So my advice is go first and make sure you make adequate plans for your wife and child and when you settle you send for them. Make you come stress the stress for them then make them come when you don get place of your own.
6, abeg if any of this other s no enter your ear make this one enter.
Make sure you don get place to stay before you japa. I mean make sure say the person wain dey tell you come, when you don land make sure say that learn will be willing to come receive you from airport to stay with am for at least 4 to 6 months. E go help you e get why. If you no get where to stay make sure you do find no just go eyes blind.

7. Even if na plumber you see do make u do am when you reach you go make am.

Finally if you know say you no go fit do the lowest of lowest job then no japa. Reduce your expectations of the country you dey go from 100 to 20 because no be everything you dey watch for film na so e be there.
You made it once before you can make it again over and over but this time use wisdom. Where one door close another one go open.

tensazangetsu20:
Before you rush to do anything I will advise you to take care of your mental health. If possible you should see a psychiatrist or someone qualified to talk to. If your mental health is dead, you are as good as dead.

CaveAdullam:
You've pinpointed your mistakes but you have not done so completely. You're still trying to push blame subtly.

Acknowledge your mistakes squarely. Allow your spirit, soul, and body to undergo proper catharsis. If possible look for a secluded place to cry out. Yes, you need it.

The thing about life is that it's unpredictable. However, our decisions of today will determine how that unpredictability will affect us.

Life is crazy. You must be crazy too in your decisions and actions. That's how you escape drastic turn of events.

Now you've learned the importance of income diversification. Learn more about finance and investment.

Since you're good at researching good crypto projects focus your attention there.

Except it's a matter of life and death, like extremely a matter of life and death, don't sell your properties. Except you want to turn it into a profitable investment or it is a liability.

Now to your wife: You both need the warmth and the love that greases relationship friction. Nothing is happening now that's a result of her fault (from your explanation).

Don't give 1 cent fvck about those spiritual nonsense. It's a lie. A very big fat lie.

You don't see it as lies because you've fallen for the confirmation bias - your mother's dreams, and your financial wreckage.

That woman has nothing to do with it in any way. Don't start raising suspicious eyebrows and go further in punching holes in sealed bags.

Your mother will be definitely justified now because of your current financial status. But don't fall for it. You were the one who made those financial mistakes. Your wife one time tried to persuade you not to but it fell on deaf ears.

Please, please, and please, focus on your family right now. You and your wife need each other now. Don't swim in troubled waters.

All your decisions now are solid. But I still believe you need to pass through a proper catharsis to clear your mind and head. A good wise friend, sibling, or counselor would be better to walk with you through this stage.

Henceforth, no more regrets of past mistakes. The past is the past. Let it go.

Focus on the present and future.

Learn the tech skills.
Focus on only good crypto projects.
Minimize spending.
Meditate.
Pray if you wish (not religious-wise).
Love your wife and teach her how to improve on her feminity and ways to help the family in these tough times.

The days of grieving shouldn't weigh you down.

It is time to put an end to your mourning. Because it is dawn, and joy comes in the morning.

I wish you well, man.

Thanks.

Franzese:
See in this life, there are NO BEST LAID PLANS.
Your health can suddenly deteriorate, your finances can diminish even with sure looking investments, a divorce can happen, you can lose a loved one etc etc.

The only constant thing is change and how you adjust to it so all I can say is make a decision and see it through. Keep trying. Don't loose hope and whatever you do don't give up on yourself....

It is what it is.

jesmond3945:
i think you lack a mentor. I think you would have come for advise before this free fall. If you are a learning a tech skill let it be AI especially generative AI

tensazangetsu20:
Lol and will you get an entry level job with AI. Most ai jobs require a PhD in maths, stats or computer science. The real ai is math and stat heavy

slan87:
How does it affects you?

Selfkontrol:
thanks a lot.. my mind it’s a bit relax and I’m ready to take the next step in my life and face is squarely.. It’s just abit overwhelming sometimes trying to learn a new skill.. for a sec I thought I already got my life figured out.. I still have memory flashes sometimes and I just smh.. many people in my circle didn’t even know the kind of money i amassed cos im quite secretive..

imustsaymymindo:
Be grateful man, that this happened to you early at 32, where you can still pick up your life and move on.

Even if you didn't make the mistakes you made now, you would lose that money much later in higher volumes due to the volatility and the nature of investment and by that time you may be too old to recover.

The problem you had that made you make those mistakes is the same problem you are having with learning tech. You have to build. It is better to make habits than achieve goals.

If you lose 20kg of weight through whatever means in a week, even by surgery, there is a high probability for you to gain it back. But if you lose 1kg every month consistently i.e. 20kg in 20 months, you would have imbibed some habits rather than reaching a goal. Imagine you were taking out just 30 minutes every day since June 2023 last year, learning the tech skill (if this is what is sustainable for you to be consistent), imagine how much knowledge you'd have by now.

I understand this could have been a result of the baby loss and you just wanted to make some huge money that'd take you out of depression and give you a quick high. But you need to stop chasing the quick high and build. Learn to use pain to your advantage.

The brain likes the familiar. So if you wonder why Yahooo boys e.g. make so much money and end up in the mud? It's because that amount of money made is unfamiliar to their brains. So the first thing the brain does unconsciously is to reduce that money to how much the brain is familiar with or thinks it can manage. Just like it was until you got to your last property of 18m before you realized how much damage you have done and how needed change is.

Habits trick the brain. So even when the unexpected happens such as a child loss. Those habits would have become:
1. Involuntary
2. Convenient to do through pain.

It's also good you did not travel yet. This kind of event fortifies you ahead. So that when you eventually travel with the credit lifestyle, and debt culture over there, you are more experienced.

Also, you are not doing badly. Either you have property of 18 million naira or 70 million naira. Either way, it doesn't mean you have your life figured out. The key is to have an abundance mentality with whatever you have atm that it is enough to make you do greater exploits. A 70 million naira in hand with little/no skills is a time bomb waiting to explode compared to an 18 million naira in the hands of a skillful individual. In Cubana's voice: _{Money na water}.

I know it's hard to choose consistency over quick results in the world we live in these days. Even I as well, try to use generative AI to solve all my life problems at once these days. But the more I try, the more I recognize the role of consistent learning.

tensazangetsu20:
Lol and will you get an entry level job with AI. Most ai jobs require a PhD in maths, stats or computer science. The real ai is math and stat heavy

imustsaymymindo:
Be grateful man, that this happened to you early at 32, where you can still pick up your life and move on.

Even if you didn't make the mistakes you made now, you would lose that money much later in higher volumes due to the volatility and the nature of investment and by that time you may be too old to recover.

The problem you had that made you make those mistakes is the same problem you are having with learning tech. You have to build. It is better to make habits than achieve goals.

If you lose 20kg of weight through whatever means in a week, even by surgery, there is a high probability for you to gain it back. But if you lose 1kg every month consistently i.e. 20kg in 20 months, you would have imbibed some habits rather than reaching a goal. Imagine you were taking out just 30 minutes every day since June 2023 last year, learning the tech skill (if this is what is sustainable for you to be consistent), imagine how much knowledge you'd have by now.

I understand this could have been a result of the baby loss and you just wanted to make some huge money that'd take you out of depression and give you a quick high. But you need to stop chasing the quick high and build. Learn to use pain to your advantage.

The brain likes the familiar. So if you wonder why Yahooo boys e.g. make so much money and end up in the mud? It's because that amount of money made is unfamiliar to their brains. So the first thing the brain does unconsciously is to reduce that money to how much the brain is familiar with or thinks it can manage. Just like it was until you got to your last property of 18m before you realized how much damage you have done and how needed change is.

Habits trick the brain. So even when the unexpected happens such as a child loss. Those habits would have become:
1. Involuntary
2. Convenient to do through pain.

It's also good you did not travel yet. This kind of event fortifies you ahead. So that when you eventually travel with the credit lifestyle, and debt culture over there, you are more experienced.

Also, you are not doing badly. Either you have property of 18 million naira or 70 million naira. Either way, it doesn't mean you have your life figured out. The key is to have an abundance mentality with whatever you have atm that it is enough to make you do greater exploits. A 70 million naira in hand with little/no skills is a time bomb waiting to explode compared to an 18 million naira in the hands of a skillful individual. In Cubana's voice: _{Money na water}.

I know it's hard to choose consistency over quick results in the world we live in these days. Even I as well, try to use generative AI to solve all my life problems at once these days. But the more I try, the more I recognize the role of consistent learning.

imustsaymymindo:
Be grateful man, that this happened to you early at 32, where you can still pick up your life and move on.

Even if you didn't make the mistakes you made now, you would lose that money much later in higher volumes due to the volatility and the nature of investment and by that time you may be too old to recover.

The problem you had that made you make those mistakes is the same problem you are having with learning tech. You have to build. It is better to make habits than achieve goals.

If you lose 20kg of weight through whatever means in a week, even by surgery, there is a high probability for you to gain it back. But if you lose 1kg every month consistently i.e. 20kg in 20 months, you would have imbibed some habits rather than reaching a goal. Imagine you were taking out just 30 minutes every day since June 2023 last year, learning the tech skill (if this is what is sustainable for you to be consistent), imagine how much knowledge you'd have by now.

I understand this could have been a result of the baby loss and you just wanted to make some huge money that'd take you out of depression and give you a quick high. But you need to stop chasing the quick high and build. Learn to use pain to your advantage.

The brain likes the familiar. So if you wonder why Yahooo boys e.g. make so much money and end up in the mud? It's because that amount of money made is unfamiliar to their brains. So the first thing the brain does unconsciously is to reduce that money to how much the brain is familiar with or thinks it can manage. Just like it was until you got to your last property of 18m before you realized how much damage you have done and how needed change is.

Habits trick the brain. So even when the unexpected happens such as a child loss. Those habits would have become:
1. Involuntary
2. Convenient to do through pain.

It's also good you did not travel yet. This kind of event fortifies you ahead. So that when you eventually travel with the credit lifestyle, and debt culture over there, you are more experienced.

Also, you are not doing badly. Either you have property of 18 million naira or 70 million naira. Either way, it doesn't mean you have your life figured out. The key is to have an abundance mentality with whatever you have atm that it is enough to make you do greater exploits. A 70 million naira in hand with little/no skills is a time bomb waiting to explode compared to an 18 million naira in the hands of a skillful individual. In Cubana's voice: _{Money na water}.

I know it's hard to choose consistency over quick results in the world we live in these days. Even I as well, try to use generative AI to solve all my life problems at once these days. But the more I try, the more I recognize the role of consistent learning.

Selfkontrol:
thanks bro.. but honestly I got things figured out early in life.. I started making money at 26/27 and didn’t even think of women or party or spending recklessly.. that was when I even bought my first property and kept buying at every little money I made them.. situation just changed after my marriage and I lost my daughter. That was the beginning of my endless selling of properties in a desperate bid to make the money I lost but kept loosing..I was too confident in my skills to recover every money I lost but things didn’t just go as planned./

I’m learning cloud computing pivoting towards cloud Engineering since it requires little programming skills and I love the concept of cloud computing since I can combine it with cybersecurity in the future.

Spanishmilf:
it consuming page

tensazangetsu20:
We have so many intelligent people on nairaland. I wish I could like this more than once.

Selfkontrol:
thank you bro for your kinds words.: I’m not giving up.. just overwhelming sometimes starting a new skill or trying to start afresh trying to figure out life again… Even the crypto is no longer reliable again it takes the Grace of God to break even now due to the level of scams etc. still feels unreal how I lost all these properties.. I got everything already figured out… the plan was to start real estate development after this bull run but alas shit just happened

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://www.nairaland.com/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also remember vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

tensazangetsu20:
Before you rush to do anything I will advise you to take care of your mental health. If possible you should see a psychiatrist or someone qualified to talk to. If your mental health is dead, you are as good as dead.

Selfkontrol:
I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

slan87:
Life can be unpredictable but never give up bro

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://www.nairaland.com/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also remember vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading
.

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://www.nairaland.com/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also remember vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading