₦airaland Forum

CyrusVI:


What if the Ex turns out to be a replica of your wife after your marriage to her



Going by the kinda stories i read online from wailing men(the are more sob stories from men than we have from women)Its good to assume there are no good women out there anymore.


I know its a ridiculous dedcution but how do you explain getting wedded to what u know, only to start seeing you're married to what u dont know?

Don't let "what if" ever hold you back!

Allow Jesus to choose a wife for you but you all generation Z would say "it's old school" I grew up from 1999 to 2009. I have lived enough to see things myself. Jesus is the answer for today's marriage. Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. God is the one that gives good wives
Pray to God for it if you're yet to get married, but if you're married already, daily commit your marriage into the hands of God for the devil do fight marriages more these days on other to disorganise the Society.

Op, may God help you.

i tried this stuff you wrote, it just didnt work,she has a job, a home she inherited from her dad...but living with a lady you dont love doesnt go with me because of carrer growth, finance stuff...like i wont even like to go home to meet her after work

franchasng:
Dear Nigerian men, if you are not rich and very financially successful when you are about to marry, please be a gold digger; go for ladies that can help you financially, there are plenty of them in Nigeria and abroad. Make use of the internet social media for good, there are plenty financially buoyant single ladies in Nigeria and abroad looking for a serious man to settle down with.



Learn to be a gold digger as a single guy. Stop marrying for love, romantic love does not exist.


Marrying for love alone is a mistake in this current world we live in, marry for companionship, compatibility, financial stability and career growth. With stable income, you will never feel miserable in any marriage as a man, but being broke and married to a bad woman is worst than being sentenced to death penalty.


If you are poor or financially average as a guy, don't marry for love, marry for financial stability and compatibility.

Successtube:
Imagine this was someone during our dating days I would give money when she visits me and is about to leave, but she will refuse to collect it. She will be coming to my house then, she will buy foodstuffs for me with her money and when I want to refund her, she will tell me I should forget that we are one.

Them play you this scam too? Naija women I hail una.

Successtube:
I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

I hope you have the courage to do the needful before it becomes too difficult to get out. Don't let what the family and friends will say about you stop you from doing what's necessary. And don't let them pressure you, people like me are solidly built to wade off pressure from family and friends

johnog4sure:
That is BLISS! my friend won custody of 3 out of 4 of his kids, he is one the most fulfilling/accomplished fathers I know(2 of the kids are in India about to graduate, and already making their own money legitimately with the help of their Dad, the last daddy's boy is in ss2 going to ss3 now), the only one that chose to stay with her mum, is rubbishing herself on tiktok, to the point videos were sent to her dad(it was heartbreaking).


Therefore many good men are ready to take FULL responsibilities and they are good at it.

What is her tiktok accounting. I might be able to help

Zonefree:
My only advice is, Don't let your wife stops you from finding the love of your life.

LOL

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

First off, you owe apology to all the married men that were passing through similar stuff whom you judged unfairly in the past. Your like are littered over the internet space blaming men for not loving harder in their marital woes.
Secondly, most women behave same in similar circumstances. Most married men can effortlessly relate with your woes because they are all neck deep in that same shit you are in. Marrying another woman will only repeat history. Was your current wife not loving you well before marriage? Was she not supporting you (or pretending to) before marriage? Why did she changed? The reason for appearing to be good to you was that she needed to marry and unfortunately, you were the best available at that time, not that she loved you. Marriage only revealed that part of her she craftily obscured from view.
This ex of yours is currently in that same pre-marriage stage when your wife spoiled you with care to get you to commit. The next phase shall also open your eyes like the first experience. She neither loves you too, but needs to get off the shelf too.
My candid advise: Focus on your self and build yourself into a person of value. It is after you assume this stature that you can conquer women if you got the necessary will power.
Good luck.

Your wife is most definitely a covert narcissist. Read up on that and see if she fits, she most likely will. If so, then run, go no contact and run. She’ll destroy you inevitably.

Secondly, you have to go back the drawing board and understand women. They are incapable of giving you the type of love you require. As a man, my advice is that you don’t remarry immediately.

You need to go on your own path and rediscover yourself. Love yourself more and become more stoic. No woman can ever give you the type of love you think she’ll give you. It’s all a facade. Men needs to learn. Divorce your wife and start building your internal structure for yourself, alone. Before considering any kind of relationship with any woman. When your expectations are low from a woman, in terms of internal stability and emotional wellbeing. That’s when you will truly start living as a man. Good luck, but most importantly, divorce her before you die.

Think am well and leave her. Marriage might not work the first time. Women are mostly DeviIs that only think about themselves.

[One of my greatest flaws is my inability to pretend. I guess its the reason I'm still single. I often wonder how some ladies get proposals whereas you with your good girl vibes and good soul still remain single. Its because we always say how we feel during dating. I cant pretend to flow along and then change during marriage. I pray that my good soul finds a good kind man. Dear Poster I feel so much pity for you for I wonder how a woman who you helped with a job of 300k is refusing to see you through your trying times. I hope it isn't karma playing. For some of you dump good souls only to end up with demons. quote author=Successtube post=131817033]I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush![/quote]

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

No time is enough to study a partner but be prepared to make up for the shortfalls whenever he)she show her true colours, this include letting go if that is what it requires. Life is too short to be unhappy.

This type of lady won’t last one day under my roof,thank God I have a good wife because God knows I don’t take nonsense.
Life is too short to spend part of it with an evil turn wify.

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

You are still making the same mistake, just like you did in your current situation with your last statement. If you like study your partner for a century, she/he will come up with new traits you haven't seen before. We have seen fornicators in the name of dating, dating for 10yrs and after marriage , it took them just few years to scatter and go asunder. Quote me well, I said fornicators. That is the name it should be called, not fiance or "we are dating", just say we are fornicating....

Anyways, you are driving yourself to another surprise and heartbreak, you haven't learnt , continue to cheat and think someone can give you solace or succour. Your happiness is in your hand, not someone else, lest in a selfish woman.

Better roll your sleeves, work hard and pray for blessings, blessings that are more than what your wife has. With this, you won't be relegated and be a leech. Real men take charge of their lives and don't let selfish and material misdeed of their spouse affect them and send them to Armageddon.

Cut your costs based on your income, when you rise again, let your expenses rise, don't be prodigal by spending everything on your recurrent like the Nigerian govt.

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

I SUPPORT YOUR DECISION

psucc:
Have you had any child with her? If yes, take a further step to see if she can have a rethink

2. Before you proposed to your X, be sure to have exhausted all avenue for peace and reconciliation

3. Have you checked around she's not into a second relationship while under your roof?

4. Have you investigated to know what she's doing with her income, such as taking care of her parents, siblings, building a house, or investing in a business?

5. If it's her view that it's the duty of the man to pick bills even in such situations, just tell her that the rent is higher than what you can afford and so you will have to move to a neighborhood with lesser rent. Probably mention a building around that you have consulted for relocation.

Watch her response. That will tell or exposed more than what you are currently seeing.

6. On the issue of s3x, hmmmmmm, it's not
easy being in that state. I can relate here but I decided to keep that relationship because of my children.

All these are too much shalaye. If a wife can treat her husband like that after marriage, it's as good as over. She no send that dude

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

You are deeply confused.
You said you thought you understood her well enough before marriage in the opening paragraphs. Then in the closing paragraph, you said others should study their partners thoroughly. That means you are recommending what failed you to others. You sound like AI.

Lifemanage:
Major reason marriages fail is because such men behave like simps. A man should take charge of his wife as an authority not an equal partner. Anything aside that, bear the consequences

I support this

Yugoslavia247:
Keep living in wonderland

Lol... Really? lmfao 😆😆😆😆

Osanoghodua1:
Allow Jesus to choose a wife for you but you all generation Z would say "it's old school" I grew up from 1999 to 2009. I have lived enough to see things myself. Jesus is the answer for today's marriage. Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. God is the one that gives good wives
Pray to God for it if you're yet to get married, but if you're married already, daily commit your marriage into the hands of God for the devil do fight marriages more these days on other to disorganise the Society.

Op, may God help you.

Keep waiting for Jesus na, you go old say u dey wait make him give u wife. Mugu

johnog4sure:
Thank you, your story really helped me, I am also contemplating divorce right now, and my story is similar to yours, I invested heavily in my wife's business yet she looked into my eyes and said "YOUR MONEY IS NOT IN MY SHOP" I dated her for 5 years married her and had a kid, yet this happened, my friend in London I just spoke to is having similar problem, your advice won't work, and yes people change even in science it is believed that every 7 years you are no longer the same person you used to be seven years earlier.

My own advice is that MEN BE SELFISH(put yourself first and sometimes yourself alone, ignore wife ignore children they all will be fine even without you) I know it is hard for good men to take this advice, even me I am struggling to take my own advice

Nawa o....do something quick before high BP finish you oh

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

Even this ex would show her true character later.

One thing we fail to do is to put our wife in check, marriage is not an avenue were tends to work individually and spend individually, an agreement was reached that we will be for each other for better for worse!. The Man is the head of the home and Lords over the Woman, if you as a Man cannot put your wife undercheck you have fail her,some day your son will come home to tell you both that his wife is not concerned about their home or marriage affairs after all his mother did same to you while you fail to rebuke her.you the woman if you cannot see or have the desire to make and build your family as an helper and supporting your man's responsibility, please remain with your parents how ever you want to behave while you are with them is their headache

DrAda:
As long as it ends with contemplation. We all nursed the same idea at some point several times in our marriages but as the wise ones always say time does heal all wounds.

Listen to Mitchell Obama portrayal of her thoughts

Even you too?

Kai, shey marriages these days worth am at all?

Your happiness is the most important thing. Do whatever makes you happy, no matter what. You only have one life to live bro.

End it before she gets pregnant.

gbadexy:
Even this ex would show her true character later.

Egbon was weak and didn't take control of his wife. If he is weak like that with the ex, she go show him shege.

I never believe that the first advised can so easily be the best advice. You have given the best for now.....

Zonefree:
My only advice is, Don't let your wife stops you from finding the love of your life.

You cannot finish studying someone. It is forever. Character is new every morning. But with the fear of God in both parties, you will move on. May God help us all.

Zonefree:
My only advice is, Don't let your wife stops you from finding the love of your life.

I dn read this comment over and over again, trying to understand it, but e no gree.

johnog4sure:
Thank you, your story really helped me, I am also contemplating divorce right now, and my story is similar to yours, I invested heavily in my wife's business yet she looked into my eyes and said "YOUR MONEY IS NOT IN MY SHOP" I dated her for 5 years married her and had a kid, yet this happened, my friend in London I just spoke to is having similar problem, your advice won't work, and yes people change even in science it is believed that every 7 years you are no longer the same person you used to be seven years earlier.

My own advice is that MEN BE SELFISH(put yourself first and sometimes yourself alone, ignore wife ignore children they all will be fine even without you) I know it is hard for good men to take this advice, even me I am struggling to take my own advice

True gospel, preach it. Right now, I'm saving up like never before despite the Tinubu's harshy economic policy. Everyone around me just has to bear it for a while