₦airaland Forum

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

You don't need to be bordered.

You said you've forgiven and that's okay.

YOU CAN STILL AVOID HER AFTER FORGIVEN HER.
THAT YOU FORGAVE HER DOESN'T MEAN YOU OWE HER ANYTHING.

EmekaBlue:
Love her and forget about the past. Good things are coming your way

Love her the way you love evil or the devil?

Besides getting treatment (therapy and medication), and good treatment will help you to understand this, you have to understand certain aspects of what happened and the people involved.

Some say forgive, but don't forget. But that seems to suggest that you accept what happened and the people involved as okay, despite being cautious. I say it's better to understand why certain things happened, address your mental health, see who those people really are, and then make the best choice for you. But holding onto anger doesn't benefit you. That doesn't mean that you welcome a bad person into your life either.

There's a difference between someone who makes mistakes and someone who makes a conscious decision to do something they know is wrong. There's also a difference between someone who messes up, and someone who continues to do the same terrible things over and over.

Some of what your mother did may have been what all parents did in that era. Your mother also may have lacked the exposure and/or education to understand why they shouldn't do that. Your mother may have even had untreated mental health problems that heavily influenced her behavior. These are all things to consider to put it into perspective. It doesn't make what happened okay, it just explains why.

That said, there are also people who make a choice to live in unhealthy, destructive ways. They are very aware of what they're doing, and they don't care. The reason why isn't important. What's important is that these people don't change, and they have made being destructive into their lifestyle. You have to recognize who they are and let them go.

Identifying destructive people isn't that hard because it's a pattern of behavior over their entire life. It may change, but it never stops. One telltale thing is when they behave one way when people are watching, and behave very differently when no one or another destructive person is watching. Another thing is when they're confronted about their behavior, they dismiss it, lie, or blame others. These are people who refuse to be better.

It's important to remember not to get too caught up in all of this. Focus on your health and living a good life. In some situations, this can be very difficult, but that's where mental health treatment and medication can help a lot.

Kobojunkie:
So because he is not the only one with a rough childhood, he should do nothing at all about the hurt and rage he feels about it all?

She not he.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

Pls try for your own sake also know that forgiveness is a decision. You can check out videos of Derek Prince and Rick Warren on YouTube.

Kobojunkie:
Come on naw... stop being dense! Don't you see that if he is not already beating his mom or acting out violently towards her as is, pretending the problem is not real is not the way about it? OP needs to properly tackle his angst and getting some serious counseling and proper anger management can help him not end up murdering the woman with all that anger that has been building up inside of him.

It beats me how some of you sit in your rat-infested home, balance behind your keyboard, and type rubbish with your leprosy-smitten fingers... You're not dense, you're just an imbecilic fool, hideous even to assume he's beating his mother already when you don't live with them. T'ojubọle Ẹran Nuru, Rádaràda!

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

What are these terrible things your mother did to you ?

OP in case you change your mind, I dey sell sniper and otapiapia o. They both original. You can even taste them before paying me

Semaj77:
What are these terrible things your mother did to you ?

she give am bloooow jooooob

Houseofglam7:
I am so sorry about all you had to go through; it’s a truly awful experience.
I pray you find peace.
🫂

Let him give us the details of these evil things that transpired between him and his mum before we conclude , remember, the greatest mischief maker is one who listens to only one side of a story

Enemyofpeace:
she give am bloooow jooooob

Let him tell us

Semaj77:
What are these terrible things your mother did to you ?

He might have developed memory loss on what exactly happened.. speaking from experience. If he tells you what will you do with the info?

Semaj77:
Let him tell us

he just told me that

elevated2:
He might have developed memory loss on what exactly happened.. speaking from experience. If he tells you what will you do with the info?

I don't need to do anything but at least people will see if he's only being entitled or if he truly was abused , and even that we still need to hear the mothers side. I have always made it a habit to always listen to both sides of an argument/fight before I draw any conclusions. And about him developing memory loss , so why is he angry if he can not remember the specific evil things the mother did to him

The fastest way to heal from emotional/psychological pain is to practice penance.
Each time you get angry about your Mom, just pray "our father who art in heaven ... Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who treaspassed against us" ten times. By the time you do it for 2 weeks, you will surely get tired of being angry with (or not forgiving) anyone.

Again, for the setbacks you have, try to move on, see it as being in the past and work towards a brighter future. Loving your family completely brings more progress.
NB: Alot of people that were never cursed by anybody still get setbacks in life, so, it's not just only you, while alot of people that were cursed(even by their family) still progressed.
If curse dey work like that, alot of people, especially Naija politicians, for don dey suffer nah.

Semaj77:
I don't need to do anything but at least people will see if he's only being entitled or if he truly was abused , and even that we still need to hear the mothers side. I have always made it a habit to always listen to both sides of an argument/fight before I draw any conclusions. And about him developing memory loss , so why is he angry if he can not remember the specific evil things the mother did to him

You have a point but you need to understand how the brain/mind works.

Forgiveness is not about your mother, it is about you. Your mental health, your peace, and your sanity.

Refusing to forgive doesnt makes your mum suffer, it makes you suffer instead. Refusing to forgive simply means they have transferred their sin to you. You are now the one suffering.

The very act of seeking forgiveness have freed her off her sins. Whether you choose to forgive her or not is on you. She have done her part and she is now free in the eyes of God.

So let the bitterness go, its for your own good.

Forgiveness is hard, I know. I have been there. But this is a case of doing the right thing, and proving to yourself and the world that you are strong.

Forgiveness expresses your strength. It shows that alot have happened to you and you have emerged triumphantly. You are like a rock, that even earthquakes, thunder, rain and heavy wind have no impact on.

Please help yourself, and forgive her, then move on. Forgiving her doenst mean you have to be in her presence. For your own peace, you may reduce contact, or anything to make you cope, but forgive and become free.

Dont be a prisoner of your own prison, and thats what you will be if you refuse to forgive.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

I understand how you feel. I’m sorry about the experience

Enemyofpeace:
she give am bloooow jooooob

No single sense

Everything is sex to you weirdos...

Kampack:
Bro, you said it all! where we wan start from? where? just where na? mothers believed being super strict was the best approach to raising a disciplined child. It was particularly worse if you were a male child and the first! their misconception was that if they got it wrong with you as first child, others (your younger siblings) will follow suit! Alas they were wrong! They'll brag about beating you till you get traumatized with signs of physical scars written all over you and go ahead to achieve it. Neighbours then will wonder if you're truly her child or not! But it's all in the past now, fogerrit bro! na tough luv! If some of us tell you our experience, you'll delete this your thread o! So just put all that behind you, smile about it when you remember, thank God for keeping you, and pray for them! Just shrug it all off, and move on!

My younger ones had to ask mom if she was truly my mother.

It’s all in the past now.

Op, I pray you get the healing you need.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

Forgive her now that she's still alive cos both of you will die and you will regret not accepting her apologies irrespective of whoever die first

femi4:
Forgive her now that she's still alive cos both of you will die and you will regret not accepting her apologies irrespective of whoever die first

Incase you did not read it read a part again and see the bold.
She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. [/b]My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

[b]She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

elevated2:
Incase you did not read it read a part again and see the bold.
She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. [/b]My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

[b]She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

True forgiveness forgive n forget. If it's truly done, you won't bring it to NL

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

It's okay even if you don't forget everything she did as long as you've truly forgiven her, you're good.

That's all God requires of you - Forgiveness,

God never said forget. Man did!

There are certain signs that would suggest if you've forgiven her or not, for instance, if you're not trying to get back at her or wish her evil because of what she did to you.

Praying for her will also help the process of forgiveness.

God bless.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

Forgive her without her consent. It heals you. No one went to school of parenting, if you are not careful, it will affect you as a parent. You will either overcompensate in behaviour with your kids, or act similarly like your mom.

HAVE A ONE ON ONE WITH A DISGRACE OF A MOTHER?

Be like u dey play.

U ruined my life for 40years.
Who knows na she kill d father sef (with d way d OP) no mention abt d father.

Omo i go mobilize boyz mk dem finish her 4me.

ravensckar:
As complicated as your problem may seem, the solution lies in doing just two things; Firstly, find a trusted person to talk to about your issue with your mum. If not a SHRINK, then, a trusted person who wouldn't judge you. Talking about our problems sometimes bring us relief.

Secondly, the OP should find a way to have a one on one conversation with his mum. Having a conversation with her is tantamount to confronting the problem.

Speak your mind to her and you'll have the kind of inner peace that you've never felt before. Yes, she may not apologize nor accept responsibility, but you'll definitely feel better afterwards and it will help your relationship with her.

I wish the OP a speedy recovery.

#Picks_tooth

I teach students that have gone through emotional trauma. Understanding the reason and the roots of the abuse comes from understanding the person. If your Mom had gone through some measure of abuse herself, then you will see her as a victim and not a predator. Some people were not matured enough to be parents, some fell on hard times and some just continued what they learned from others. You will need to speak to her to understand how she grew up, what she went through, and get to the bottom on it...It is in finding the truth that the truth will set you free. Nothing else will...and I can assure you, she has kept her own upbringing away from you, but you need to get her to speak on it. Then reach back to me, and let me know what you discovered. Have a blessed evening.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

So what is the rage telling you to do?

You have no choice, you must forgive her, especially when she's not an active threat to you. The spirit of unforgiveness will hold you back from your blessings. You can forgive and not have a full relationship with her if you fear a repeat of what she did. Maybe she did her best the way she knew how. Don't ever say something bad to her, still show her respect if it means seeing her just once a year and if you can, care for her. You need to release everything now that she's still alive, so you don't start the second round of the anger of blaming yourself on how you should have handled things differently.

The most painful experience for a child is to be physically and emotionally abused by the very people who are meant to protect him or her. It would be very difficult to let go and move on.

But the op needs to understand that some parents have done more evil than his own mother. Some mothers

1. threw away their new born child in the toilet or gutter/canal for pigs to devour.

2. used their children for money ritual.

3. Sold their Children for peanut

4. Some set up their daughters for prostitution and so many more.

I believed all these are greater evil compared to your experience. So you should be grateful that you are still alive and hopeful for a better tomorrow .

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

I don't know the level of wickedness that would get a mother cursing her own child.


What did you do to her? They just don't go to that extreme just like that, except triggered.

Forgive her. You both should forgive each others as I believe something led to that strained relationship.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I remember them I feel this rage inside of me.

My short advice...
"She regrets" forgive her and treat her well

Kobojunkie:
Abeg, get lost!

Quote me not next time. If you don't value yours, it's up to you