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Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! - Politics (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by kingsways: 1:54am On Nov 02, 2024
N3TRAL:
Fvck the juvenile delinquents.

They're not useful in anyway.

Fvck their parents who can't raise them.

If you offend them, they are gonna cause the mob to behead you.

If they want to do worse, they'll accuse you of blasphemy and burn you. They're the labour force behind mob killings of those accused of blasphemy.

If you're not wearing an hijab as a young female teenager, they're gonna stone you even if you're Christian.

They looted a multimillion tech complex .


So fvckkkkkk them and their parents, their Imams and political leaders.

They're already brainwashed and wouldn't add anything to the economy.


Tinubu, you got this one right by reducing the number of bandits and terrorists Nigeria has to worry about.

Once again, fvck the little subhumans.
People like you do not deserve anything good in life

You are far more subhuman than those kids who at least had the guts to protest
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by blacknp(m): 2:14am On Nov 02, 2024
BeardedMeat:
See illiterate batshit 😅😅😅

Bare kor Tpain ni.

Nonsense and iragbiji university. 😄😄😄
Frustrated citizen, please go & make your complaints to The Magistrate Court o, no be me send or promote those public nuisance to disturb the peace of the nation

Cowards & Internet protesters wey they support them dey house, whilst them mumus they dance to the music of their stupidity for police custody.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by blacknp(m): 2:16am On Nov 02, 2024
kingsways:
People like you do not deserve anything good in life

You are far more subhuman than those kids who at least had the guts to protest
Kids had the guts to protest, but old man like yourself dey house they hide abi?
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Malcolm21: 4:32am On Nov 02, 2024
Normal normal drug lords are brutal
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:08am On Nov 02, 2024
We know them as 30k geng


BeardedMeat:
See illiterate batshit 😅😅😅

Bare kor Tpain ni.

Nonsense and iragbiji university. 😄😄😄
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:12am On Nov 02, 2024
Hahahaha..... I prefer Mazi over Chinedu. Be guided. Who are "they"?

You mean those children Asiwaju starved for months because the coward thought kids wants to overthrown him?

Sharpsharp00123:
chinedu for your mind u are demarketing Tinubu to northerners right?

They will pick even non Nigerians over igbo so rest
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Newsmills: 6:13am On Nov 02, 2024
Where are the politicians who sponsored them so they are afraid of DSS
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Omoboricash(m): 6:20am On Nov 02, 2024
Gadafii:
who is this aneema

Didn't tinubu equally protested against Jonathan years back, he's simply a tyrannical ruler, he should continue na.

Na the north wey supported Muslim Muslim tickets dey collect woto woto from his hands, he should intense it please
Protest is eshrined in our constitution. It is our constitution right to protest if government is not doing massee good. But the last protest especially in the north was not what we can define as protest. Looting of private business, vandalization of government properties. I watched where they destroyed traffick light. For crying out loud traffick light... What does traffick light got to do with end bad governance protest.
I am not a fan of Tpain but for executing unfriendly masses policies but we should be ibjective in our criticism.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by garykoeman: 6:22am On Nov 02, 2024
Bigkoko:
What a sad day it is to be a Nigeria....
A day that will be an infamy to Asiwaju legacy of pains, maladministration and joke of a government. A day when children were dehumanized and tortured beyond comprehension.

When people talk of treason, I was expected to see machos with tattoos and captured Ak47s....lol and behold I saw children, little bags of bones due to starvation and mental torture. Between Hitler, Himmler, Mengele and Asiwaju, or the SS Wafen and the sick hordes supporting Asiwaju, who is or are more evil!

Hitler give no shit sending children and women to the gas chambers so long as they're Jews, Asiwaju give no shit sending minors to jail, starving them in jail for the great crimes of trying to overthrown his govt. Minors for goodness sake!

Like Hitler, I think the evil in this man is not anything the world or Nigerians has seen. Even Abacha won't go after children and women. He was man enough to go after army generals but our dear Grandpa in Aso Rock is such a coward that he left those he's been eavesdropping on for months to go after children!

Weldon Asiwaju. We go remember this one join for 2027.

Asiwaju has own children, some of who have never worked before or engaged in any Private related work force. Yet some of them are going round the world purchasing houses in million's of pounds.

Asiwaju killed his tomorrow today by arresting, starving, torturing and then arraigning these minors. Their votes, however crooked it was, was what formed the basis Prof Yak upsidedown calculation and conjuring gave you victory.

Since you do not want to hear their protests, you will hear their votes. Mark the year, 2027, the year almajiris chased Asiwaju from Aso Rock, got him arrested and humiliated for gross negligence of responsibilities!
Emergency lovers of Northerners.

Emergency lovers of the zoo.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:23am On Nov 02, 2024
The coward who thought children protesting hunger wants to overthrown him has capitulated

IBB was right it flows in the blood!

Imagine a coward imprisoning children in adult prison for months on end, and he didn't even have the decency to feed them properly... Mehmmm Yorubacracy on the mud!

Now I know why Ibadan has more brown roof than anywhere in the whole world!
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Omoboricash(m): 6:25am On Nov 02, 2024
Sharpsharp00123:
igbos are pained cos the boys they hoped on to cause chaos n instability on Nigeria have been arrested n waiting to b judge

U can see igbos creating threads upon threads since morning, they won't care if those boys burn down everywhere cos that's always their wish

They were hailing those boys then when they were vandalising property n looting things but now they are forming sympathy
Those boys deserved to taught lesson, i watched a pharmacy shop that was lootef and vandalized 8n kano and i was weeping for the owner of the shop. If the defender of that shop happened be one of these defenders would they have said what they were saying.
Those boys are potentials terrorist, let them face the musuc of their actions
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by cybertruss(m): 6:27am On Nov 02, 2024
Na WA ooo. I thought that Tinubu will at least be better than Buhari. Now I don't know who is better.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:27am On Nov 02, 2024
Imagine there was no social media. His brethren handling LIEM (Lagos Ibadan Expressway Media) would have denied everything like they denied his shady past!

Tufiakwaaa...ndi na my turn!

Now, I believe aunt Remi don't have children of her own, or has been fully indoctrinated into pure romance with wickedness.

If na Mama Peace, she will collect microphone and start shouting to release the children!

Maybe she thought the children were Igbo children sha!
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:29am On Nov 02, 2024
President Bola Tinubu has ordered the Minister of Justice and Attorney-General of the Federation, Lateef Fagbemi, SAN, to review the treasonable felony charges brought against some underage and malnourished children before the Federal High Court in Abuja, which has attracted national and global outrage.

SaharaReporters learnt from sources that Tinubu on Friday ordered the AGF to review the cases and make recommendations accordingly after the Nigerian presidency came under scrutiny for maltreating underage children accused of bogus charges for participating in the nationwide #EndBadGovernance protests in August.

SaharaReporters earlier reported that the court presided over by Justice Obiora Egwuatu, granted stringent bail to over 70 persons including minors for their alleged roles in the protests.

Five minors out of the 76 defendants meant to be arraigned on Friday, however, slumped inside the courtroom and were rushed to the hospital.

The minors have been taken back to Kuje Prison following difficulties in meeting their bail conditions.

The court granted each of the defendants N10 million bail among other stringent terms.

However, one of the counsels for the protesters, Deji Adeyanju, lamented that the stringent bail conditions imposed by the court on the protesters who have been in custody since August, meant they had to be taken back to prison custody.

Human rights and advocacy groups across the country have accused President Bola Tinubu of running a cruel, heinous and punitive government.

The groups said this in separate statements issued on Friday while condemning the continued detention and prosecution of #EndBadGovernance protesters.

The groups demanded the unconditional release of all detained protesters, especially minors; immediate suspension of all exorbitant bail conditions granted to the protesters; transparent investigation into the maltreatment of underage detainees, including starvation, physical abuse, and psychological trauma at IRT and other detention centers, and an end to the criminalisation of protests and dissent voices in the country.

One of the statements was jointly signed by Comrade Gerald O Katchy of the National Secretary Committee for the Defence of Human Rights; Omole Ibukun of the Creative Change Centre; Salako Kayode of the Revolutionary Socialist Movement; Hauwa Mustapha of the ASVAB and Comrade Destiny Destiny of the Civil Rights Council.

Others are Agena Robert Ande of Take it Back Movement; Maxwell Adeyemi of the Socialist Labour; Adekunle Gbolahan of the Democratic Socialist Movement and Youth Rights Campaign, and Chinedu Chinedu of the Movement for African Emancipation.

The groups said the arraignment of the protesters before Justice Obiora Egwuatu of the Federal High Court in Abuja exposes the gross and tone-deaf indifference of all arms of the Nigerian government to justice and the well-being of Nigerians.



https://saharareporters.com/2024/11/01/breaking-tinubu-directs-attorney-general-review-case-minors-charged-treason-after
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:33am On Nov 02, 2024
A well fed, salary and bonus loaded, fine man no pimples Honorable assaulter given a 500k bail same day he was arraigned and let off the hook, but hunger protesting, severely malnourished kids, minors, children ~ for swobs to understand fully, they were given 10M bail.... clearly they don't have that, next is to send them back to prison! That's after been starved for months!

Ijele still dey find 50M, while that kogi man dey bail!

Omoo these Asiwaju and his Yoruba hordes are really evil!

Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:37am On Nov 02, 2024
Let economic, political and developmental milestones guide you!

Economically, every Nigerian, living and earning in Nigeria, including Dangote is a lot poorer now compared to 2023 May down


cybertruss:
Na WA ooo. I thought that Tinubu will at least be better than Buhari. Now I don't know who is better.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by cybertruss(m): 6:39am On Nov 02, 2024
Sharpsharp00123:
igbos are pained cos the boys they hoped on to cause chaos n instability on Nigeria have been arrested n waiting to b judge

U can see igbos creating threads upon threads since morning, they won't care if those boys burn down everywhere cos that's always their wish

They were hailing those boys then when they were vandalising property n looting things but now they are forming sympathy
I don't think this comment is good. I thought that nairaland is against ethnic abuses like this. To separate facts from myth during the said protest the Igbos where completely silent.

Why is it that in Nigeria if
Another tribe failed to study to pass their exam, they accuse the Igbo for failing them

When other tribes are controlling the government and pass bad policy that creates hunger, the Igbo man that has no business in governance is accused

Fellow Nigerian when are we going to start taking responsibility for our actions
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:41am On Nov 02, 2024
This is why we are shouting that Nigeria should develop or allow those who wants out to go and build a modern society!

Now, that shop should have insurance premium subscribe to, that takes buts of payment every month. With stuffs like this they get full compensation.

Two, Nigeria should have a ready anti riot squad, ready to use peppered water and tear gas to dispense riots, not protests...
Are these two things difficult for a normal human being with access to Oil Gas sales and CBN vaults, in 2024 to implement in his country?

Thank G-d these deadbeat politically wicked swobs can't take loots to the other realm. But then, see how the old sicko dey grab everything and anything!

Tufiakwaaa



Omoboricash:
Those boys deserved to taught lesson, i watched a pharmacy shop that was lootef and vandalized 8n kano and i was weeping for the owner of the shop. If the defender of that shop happened be one of these defenders would they have said what they were saying.
Those boys are potentials terrorist, let them face the musuc of their actions
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Gadafii: 6:46am On Nov 02, 2024
Omoboricash:
Protest is eshrined in our constitution. It is our constitution right to protest if government is not doing massee good. But the last protest especially in the north was not what we can define as protest. Looting of private business, vandalization of government properties. I watched where they destroyed traffick light. For crying out loud traffick light... What does traffick light got to do with end bad governance protest.
I am not a fan of Tpain but for executing unfriendly masses policies but we should be ibjective in our criticism.
by arresting these minors and and holding them for more than two months in a prison filled with criminals and gangsters, thereby exposing them to severe conditions and treatment, just because they "destroyed traffic light" is right in your eyes abi.


You are fooool, please don't quote me again
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Gadafii: 6:48am On Nov 02, 2024
Sharpsharp00123:
bring out d properties Tinubu destroyed when he was protesting then?
keep defending nonsense.


What properties could these minors have destroyed to warrant these treatment on them, do you have conscience at all.

Even boko haram and bandits are getting rehabilitated after killing hundreds of people and destroying millions of naira in properties.

Where is it in Nigerias constitution that minors can be held in prisons for months, omo some of you are God forbidden
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:50am On Nov 02, 2024
But we know say Asiwaju no normal!

All the Emilio kan cap he dey wear for years wetin come out!

Lesson learned. Occult, drug cartels and shody past don't pay because others will use it to blackmail you into not working!

Imagine the clown implementing things Nigerians ain't economically ready to harbor


Bigkoko:
This is why we are shouting that Nigeria should develop or allow those who wants out to go and build a modern society!

Now, that shop should have insurance premium subscribe to, that takes buts of payment every month. With stuffs like this they get full compensation.

Two, Nigeria should have a ready anti riot squad, ready to use peppered water and tear gas to dispense riots, not protests...
Are these two things difficult for a normal human being with access to Oil Gas sales and CBN vaults, in 2024 to implement in his country?

Thank G-d these deadbeat politically wicked swobs can't take loots to the other realm. But then, see how the old sicko dey grab everything and anything!

Tufiakwaaa
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 6:55am On Nov 02, 2024
Now you see why Islamic State of West Africa, ISWAP, Oduduwa patriotic congress OPC, Niger Delta militants, Ahlis Sunnah aka Boko Haram, Fulani herdsman, bandits, UGM keep getting recruits, year in year out?

The Nigerian State us a well oiled, properly funded sovereign that acts like a criminal organisation.

Imagine the wickedness of imprisoning children with hardened criminals.

Like elf's in a loose chain criminal set up, the AGN, Interior, NSA etc were waiting for their capo di tuti capi to ask to review the allegations of treason against the minors before they can act!

Isn't this a clear case of executive meddlesome and control of institution which oought to be independent?

Tufiakwaaa
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by MrAmbrose(m): 7:10am On Nov 02, 2024
TPain brought severe pain to the land. I don't blame these kids.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Ringstonermask: 8:04am On Nov 02, 2024
N3TRAL:
Fvck the juvenile delinquents.

They're not useful in anyway.

Fvck their parents who can't raise them.

If you offend them, they are gonna cause the mob to behead you.

If they want to do worse, they'll accuse you of blasphemy and burn you. They're the labour force behind mob killings of those accused of blasphemy.

If you're not wearing an hijab as a young female teenager, they're gonna stone you even if you're Christian.

They looted a multimillion tech complex .


So fvckkkkkk them and their parents, their Imams and political leaders.

They're already brainwashed and wouldn't add anything to the economy.


Tinubu, you got this one right by reducing the number of bandits and terrorists Nigeria has to worry about.

Once again, fvck the little subhumans.
u are heartless
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Elusive001: 8:12am On Nov 02, 2024
Bigkoko:
Some of the accused.... minors badly starved for months while awaiting trial. The bones on their bodies shown due to I'll treatments while in Asiwaju gulag!
Oh! oh!! oh!!!

Na these children dem say wan overthrow Tinubu’s wicked revime
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by godofuck231: 8:14am On Nov 02, 2024
Sharpsharp00123:
chinedu we all know na mouth

U threaten pass like this say if them touch nnamdi kanu, e dey use 3 years dey go steady
the igbo are weak , the elders sell out the younger ones because of position and money , when a people refuse to play along with the government its a standstill , check out the ijaws in the nuger delta , the federal government had to call for a dialogue.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by SouthSouth1914: 9:05am On Nov 02, 2024
N3TRAL:
The faces of potential terrorists.
Under the law they are innocent. You can’t charge someone who hasn’t committed a crime. Protesting is a right. You must be oblivious or just sheer stupidity when Tinubu and his lots protested caring the coffin of former president. Nonsense
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by faceland: 9:08am On Nov 02, 2024
Everyone is still using the orphans for political reasons.

If they had parents, why are the parents not in court?

If society saw them as humans, they ought to not spend more than 2 nights in detention. If police pikin is among them, wouldn't he discipline his child and free him? If imam pikin is among them wouldn't he be freed 2 months ago?

I think treason is punishable by death? Sentence them to deathif you get liver.
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 10:03am On Nov 02, 2024
Now the funny thing is these pictures tells it all, that those who sponsored, organized and paid miscreants money to protest without any detaining them are now the ones stopping protests, arresting and imprisoning minors!

Thats Jide Kosoko in one of the pictures. The yoruban ator is no where to be found.....say hi to amala politics agains.

Thats Bayo Onanuga, current spokesman for asiwaju, even though he is a guther rate spokesman.....in one of the pitures

The good thing is that the Power of Social Media has overcome the power of LIEM; Lagos Ibadan Expressway Media!

Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 10:10am On Nov 02, 2024
Yes, these are the machos and elements plotting to overthrown Asiwaju !!!! what were you expecting to see?

Elusive001:
Oh! oh!! oh!!!

Na these children dem say wan overthrow Tinubu’s wicked revime
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 10:32am On Nov 02, 2024
Post by Nairalander NLCreator

Ever wonder why Tinubu has been spending more time in France than Nigeria lately? Turns out, it wasn’t for diplomatic business—it was for survival! Apparently, he’s been on the run from these "criminal masterminds"—a gang of children plotting to overthrow his government! Now that they’ve been apprehended, experts believe Tinubu finally has the safe environment he needs to deliver on his Renewed Hope agenda.

Let’s meet the "ringleaders" of the "coup" to dethrone Nigeria’s "greatest" president.

1. Auta Ibrahim

This 5-year-old genius from Kano masterminded a coup with all the finesse of a Saturday morning cartoon villain. His grand plan? Ambush President Tinubu at a fuel station queue, challenge him to a one-on-one duel, and, upon inevitable victory, crown himself President of Nigeria. Rumor has it he spent weeks rehearsing his presidential wave on the playground, blowing kisses to an adoring crowd of kindergartners. If the coup had succeeded, Auta Ibrahim would’ve not only become the youngest president in the world but also the first to sign bills during snack time and hold press conferences on the monkey bars.

2. Tanko Abubakar

This sweet-looking 9-year-old, affectionately dubbed the “Mogul of Kano Streets,” was the financier behind the coup. After raking in a whopping 500 naira from his almajiri begging business, Tanko decided to take a stand against the rising cost of toys. Out of economic outrage, he plotted to overthrow Tinubu and crash the prices of toys.

He was accused of tossing his hard-earned 500 naira around, enticing other kids to join his rebellion against Tinubu with promises of ice cream and biscuits.

Little did he know, his generous spending spree sent the naira into a tailspin, causing inflation to skyrocket and sending Nigeria’s economy into the bottomless pit, according to self-proclaimed economic experts among Tinubu’s supporters.

"Look what one sweet-faced beggar has done!” the experts lamented. “He’s single-handedly ruined our economy just to fund a coup, all while plotting to become Finance Minister and make toys cheaper!"

3. Tanoma Muhammad

This 5-year-old mastermind was the brains behind the entire mutiny. He skillfully convinced the other kids to believe there was “hunger in Nigeria,” a wildly false claim that sent shockwaves through the kindergarten playground and rallied his followers to plot Tinubu’s downfall.

At one point, he even led a brigade of two-year-olds in a fierce protest against "hardship" (mainly the rising price of ice cream and biscuits).

According to experts, his real agenda was to destabilize Tinubu’s government and swoop in as the Minister of Information under Auta's regime. With his knack for spreading fake news about the snack shortage, he’s already shown he has the perfect qualifications.

4. Adamu Adamu

Though this 6-year-old insists he had nothing to do with the coup, his downfall came when a spy overheard him boldly singing, “Parents, listen to your children, we are the leaders of tomorrow…” Horrified, the informant promptly reported him to authorities, citing the song as undeniable proof of an insidious plot to overthrow Tinubu and seize power by tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Tinubu’s supporters took to the streets in jubilant celebration over the capture of the “infant insurgents.”

Ayo Adenuga passionately claimed that these children were the very reason Tinubu hadn’t yet delivered on his “Renewed Hope” promise. “How could he?” she cried. “The poor man was fleeing Nigeria every other week to dodge their capture attempts! Now, finally, with these little rebels behind bars, Tinubu can safely stay home and start delivering—beginning with that Renewed Hope we were all promised!”

Dominique Olumide went even further, condemning the children for their reckless spending. “These infant plotters dumped their vast almajiri fortunes into our economy, and now look at us!” she exclaimed, holding up a single grain of rice as if it were a diamond. “The price of a bag of rice shot up from 10,000 to 100,000 naira, all because these ambitious little tycoons couldn’t resist throwing their 500-naira fortunes around!”
Re: Faces Of Those Plotting To Overthrown Asiwaju Govt! Shame! by Bigkoko(op): 10:35am On Nov 02, 2024
These four kids deserve to have a building at National Institute for Policy & strategic studies (NIPSS) Kuru Jos named after them!

They tried to overthrown Asiwaju govt and survived two months of starvation in Asiwaju gulag! Something Igboho ran away from! grin grin grin grin grin grin


Bigkoko:
Post by Nairalander NLCreator

Ever wonder why Tinubu has been spending more time in France than Nigeria lately? Turns out, it wasn’t for diplomatic business—it was for survival! Apparently, he’s been on the run from these "criminal masterminds"—a gang of children plotting to overthrow his government! Now that they’ve been apprehended, experts believe Tinubu finally has the safe environment he needs to deliver on his Renewed Hope agenda.

Let’s meet the "ringleaders" of the "coup" to dethrone Nigeria’s "greatest" president.

1. Auta Ibrahim

This 5-year-old genius from Kano masterminded a coup with all the finesse of a Saturday morning cartoon villain. His grand plan? Ambush President Tinubu at a fuel station queue, challenge him to a one-on-one duel, and, upon inevitable victory, crown himself President of Nigeria. Rumor has it he spent weeks rehearsing his presidential wave on the playground, blowing kisses to an adoring crowd of kindergartners. If the coup had succeeded, Auta Ibrahim would’ve not only become the youngest president in the world but also the first to sign bills during snack time and hold press conferences on the monkey bars.

2. Tanko Abubakar

This sweet-looking 9-year-old, affectionately dubbed the “Mogul of Kano Streets,” was the financier behind the coup. After raking in a whopping 500 naira from his almajiri begging business, Tanko decided to take a stand against the rising cost of toys. Out of economic outrage, he plotted to overthrow Tinubu and crash the prices of toys.

He was accused of tossing his hard-earned 500 naira around, enticing other kids to join his rebellion against Tinubu with promises of ice cream and biscuits.

Little did he know, his generous spending spree sent the naira into a tailspin, causing inflation to skyrocket and sending Nigeria’s economy into the bottomless pit, according to self-proclaimed economic experts among Tinubu’s supporters.

"Look what one sweet-faced beggar has done!” the experts lamented. “He’s single-handedly ruined our economy just to fund a coup, all while plotting to become Finance Minister and make toys cheaper!"

3. Tanoma Muhammad

This 5-year-old mastermind was the brains behind the entire mutiny. He skillfully convinced the other kids to believe there was “hunger in Nigeria,” a wildly false claim that sent shockwaves through the kindergarten playground and rallied his followers to plot Tinubu’s downfall.

At one point, he even led a brigade of two-year-olds in a fierce protest against "hardship" (mainly the rising price of ice cream and biscuits).

According to experts, his real agenda was to destabilize Tinubu’s government and swoop in as the Minister of Information under Auta's regime. With his knack for spreading fake news about the snack shortage, he’s already shown he has the perfect qualifications.

4. Adamu Adamu

Though this 6-year-old insists he had nothing to do with the coup, his downfall came when a spy overheard him boldly singing, “Parents, listen to your children, we are the leaders of tomorrow…” Horrified, the informant promptly reported him to authorities, citing the song as undeniable proof of an insidious plot to overthrow Tinubu and seize power by tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Tinubu’s supporters took to the streets in jubilant celebration over the capture of the “infant insurgents.”

Ayo Adenuga passionately claimed that these children were the very reason Tinubu hadn’t yet delivered on his “Renewed Hope” promise. “How could he?” she cried. “The poor man was fleeing Nigeria every other week to dodge their capture attempts! Now, finally, with these little rebels behind bars, Tinubu can safely stay home and start delivering—beginning with that Renewed Hope we were all promised!”

Dominique Olumide went even further, condemning the children for their reckless spending. “These infant plotters dumped their vast almajiri fortunes into our economy, and now look at us!” she exclaimed, holding up a single grain of rice as if it were a diamond. “The price of a bag of rice shot up from 10,000 to 100,000 naira, all because these ambitious little tycoons couldn’t resist throwing their 500-naira fortunes around!”
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