₦airaland Forum

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

My brother u dealt the shit the way it should be done... The economy is currently tough. Takes a tough man to say things the way the are . You have done that. Africans should learn that burial and most of these social ceremonies don't add much value to anything than drain funds.

You told them hard truth in terms of the expense

BlindAngel:
As I'm talking to you right now, they are saying all manners of words, that I disrespected them and the they won't pity me with the list they'd give me.

That aside, to be brutally honest with you, I didn't mean to disrespect them, I have tried all manner of ways to walk out of this marriage but I don't see that happening. Maybe this will be the deal breaker, I won't do any of what they mentioned, absolutely none. I believe it'd make them hate me and by God's grace I pray and I'm praying hard for them to talk about returning my bride price to me.

If you don't want that marriage, nothing should hold you back. Not even the threat of suicide. Life is too short to live a life of misery and unhappiness. Go find your happiness wherever you think or believe it is

For you to disgrace her this much
Please this is bro to bro advice
Don’t eat her food or keep are as your wife again because this lady will surly punish you or poison you

You said too much

The wife no want make you divorce
No worry,dem go visit one person for prison soon while another don turn dust, or the 2 turn dust

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

You do good men in this forum are at your back let them do what they like to the dead man ,but if you have anything send it to them do not do pass yourself my brother

When dem use billing kill you, they will focus fully on the other stupid guy and knock his block too.

#jonzinMen

Leave the marriage if you are not happy with it. Maybe it will be a means of expanding your marriage experience, every marriage/relationship comes with its own challenges. There is no perfect marriage
Eventually you may fall into another woman's hand who is worse than your wife. Sometimes you can't change destiny. Which means even if you marry Dangote daughter, and she's not meant for you, it will not work still.

BlindAngel:
I will do better next time, I expected her mom to caution their elder brother when he was billing me, but she did nothing and was completely silent, this allowed my emotions and anger to get the better part of me, nevertheless I will try to do better next time. Tank's

What you did wasn't wrong entirely, don't blame yourself too much.

Why would a first son shift his responsibility to in-laws? What a shame of a son.

Whatever you can afford for the burial do it, don't be coward to spend what you'll regret later.

BlindAngel:
You really don't know who I'm married to, she's so stubborn and always does what's on her mind. She always reminds me that forever is the deal and no going out of this marriage. I'd have left long ago, since I'm not in anyway happy.

When you were sleeping with her raw you didn't know she was stubborn.

You are in for a wild ride, you may have been spiritually manipulated sef.

She's plainly and confidently telling you you are hooked for life.

BlindAngel:
She hasn't seen her dad for more than 10 years and counting, he was In another state, the day of our traditional marriage (February) was when she and her biological sisters saw him last. He was seriously sick, since February until he gave up the ghost today. He was in town ever since they brought him to collect the bride price, seriously sick. Since February until date my wife and her sisters none went to see him, not even once, they claimed he abandoned them when they were young, that whenever they went to visit him he'd lock the protector and talk to them inside while they're standing outside. I repeat since February until date they haven't set their eyes on him despite the fact that he was seriously sick and in same town with them.

That aside whenever my wife is disturbing me and I reminded her that I'm a loner and loves being alone, she'd get furious and always tell me that I'd die a very slow, lonely and painful death. This words still ring a bell on my head, and thinking about how they totally abandoned and hates their dad because their mother hates him is another thing that'd make me take her threat seriously.

You don't. At least, not yet. You're still whining, when you are tired and ready, you will do something about it.

Free2Fly:
But he over reacted nah
He should have calmly told the brother inlaw that it's not acceptable for any particular amount to be levied on him as an inlaw, but he would give whatever he could raise willingly to them as a gift.
The family can levy their daughter, but not the husband.
The husbands can only assist with whatever they can offer or help their wives fulfil the levies shared to them.

So far he did not caused any physical harm to anyone, I think that outburst is good for his mental health. Otherwise, the built-up pressure in his head will remain.

What he marries is their daughter and none else, his obligation is to take care of the soul to take from the family not the family burden.

@BlindAngel should find a way to console the wife, apologize and start learning to love the wife gradually if she is willing to cooperate.
After that he can write an apology letter to the family, with cash in an envelope; what he can afford.

The final action is to cut communication with this family for at least 5 years, while building his family. Cut off inlaws who have no empathy towards you. what they want is your money.

kevwemike:
Guy wat is wrong with U? Why are U talking like a child, U don't like the girl but Ur dick like her pussy to the extent U got her pregnant, and U are here saying that she force u into the marriage, u dey here urself? The truth is that wat the family counted for U is the right thing to do as in-law , just try and do the needful is Ur in-law.

So if Ur papa die, you will be waiting for your brother in law to come and bring goat and money to bury him? because na tradition for Una place abi?

What if he has no money, he will skin himself alive for you people?

I know he has money, that's why they don back am bet billing and that's why the wife is holding on tight despite the abuses towards her.
If he were broke, she for don run comot since

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

The way you spoke to your Wife is unforgivable,even speaking to a stranger that way !!!. You are not even scared??

See the way you describe her,you beat her join,and because she is not bleeding it is fine??
You better Apologize to her.
You are not her GOD,stop acting like one.

Every state have their culture, you could have calmly told them you will support in any way you can.

"I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically."

You were not attracted to her physically but you were attracted enough to her kpekus to the extent of loading it all the way to the maternity ward. You do well! In any case endeavor to retain that localized attraction that got you here. Again , you must be stingy and mean dude. How come you are all worked up simply because of contributing to buy a casket and a goat to honour your father in-law?! Which kind man be dis sef? Where he come from?! SMH
My friend, answer the calls of your ringing bell...

kevwemike:
Guy wat is wrong with U? Why are U talking like a child, U don't like the girl but Ur dick like her pussy to the extent U got her pregnant, and U are here saying that she force u into the marriage, u dey here urself? The truth is that wat the family counted for U is the right thing to do as in-law , just try and do the needful is Ur in-law.

How did you know that what was counted are the normal for an inlaw burial? You did not understand that women can have a controlling power over man? Some women will diabolically control man and ask him to sign open cheque's for them?
The man shouldn't have shouted on the in-laws but simply walk out and keep his action to himself.
What are the normal requirements for an inlaw burial in the area? The in law did not act well by trying to lord all expenses on him ,what are there own contributions? .

Ginaz:
You should have respected her a bit, the outbursts are not needed in this critical time that her dad is dead. She needs you for comfort and peace , you can tell the family the extent you can assist financially without degrading her worth before her people.

You did wrong. Despite you don't love her , she's a human with feelings. I can't imagine being reminded how I'm not needed constantly by my husband, she's going through a lot.

Be kind or rather seek a divorce if you can't stand the marriage anymore.

He will eventually get what he is waiting for which is death

Bro, if you don't want to be in the marriage , leave and take care of the child... one life and the torture u are putting yourself into is not worth it

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

Our forefathers use to go and carry out investigations on the family their child inte ds to vet married to be it male or female.

This generation is just about eating shawarma nd exchanging body fluid.

You are actually right for standing your grand and refused to be extorted in the name of in-law.

You're wrong for marrying against your wish. You're an adult. You weren't forced. You woke up and chose to spend the 4m.

U say, ur father in-laws burial not just their father's burial...

BlindAngel:
I don't feel like she played me, she indeed played and manipulated me, by now I'd have been completely single like almost all of my guy's. Living my life to the fullest until I'm fully ready for marriage and it's responsibilities.

That aside, imagine my wife telling me this morning that how much is goat? That I'm complaining about that they're talking about life and I'm complaining about money, if money can buy life etc.

I then responded that goat is almost 100k if I asked her to cough 100k or 50k if she'd be able to bring it. That because I normally gives her money occasionally she doesn't know the value of money and how hard it is to get.

We dated for two years before marriage and in those two years she only worked twice, firstly... In a bet 9ja shop which she worked only one month and stopped, Secondly in another bet 9ja shop, she worked for a month also and stopped, with the excuse that the manager in charge is controlling. Since then until date she hasn't done anything to earn money or knows how hard it is to earn it, I'll give her 13 to 15k for soup and she'd always complain that it isn't enough. She doesn't know how to manage.

Why? Because she doesn't know the value of money or how hard it is to make money in this current economy.

That was a big red flag starring at you. Women who never ever take accountability have been shown not to be appreciative.

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

Bros, you acted wrongly intoto!
You could have remained calm, pick the list, do the ones you can do and leave the rest.
They will bury their father!

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

if no none of them can't tell you truth i will what you did is totally wrong and again you know that you don't love her yet you are having sex with her until it turn out to pregnancy,if she did not say a word for you,God will fight on her behalf, you better accept her as your wife and move on, put her love in your heart and the love will definitely come, if you don't like a lady don't have sex with her.a word is a enough for a wise

Na who get money dem dey bill. You can't give what you don't have

Your outburst was not necessary. You could have just ignored them. By the time their father started getting decayed when they don't get any dime for embalment from you, they will know whose responsibility it is to bury the man.

madridguy:
If you know what is good for you just go and apologize to your wife, mother-inlaw and the entire family.

If you know you cannot do their culture, why marry their daughter?

While you were sleeping with their daughter without protection, pouring your seed in her body what result are you expecting?

After that, did they put a gun on your head to pay and bride price and marry her?

I will suggest you don't make unnecessary enemies, just try and calm down and see what you could do.... Life na gently no be everything be gra gra my brother.

May be you didn't listen to him or you just didn't agree with him. He married her because of the emotional blackmail about the threat of committing suicide

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

SeriouslySense:
i am curious too, he did not love her, but at least he should love the child, and he did not love her, yet gave her belle.

All the men sleeping with prostitutes do they love them? Some of the sex results into pregnancies. You don't need to love a woman to impregnate her but certainly he will love his child.

It seems like you're conflating two issues here. While it’s inappropriate for the family to demand that you sponsor the burial, they could have simply asked if you were able to assist in any way. So, your reaction was understandable.

As for your marriage, it seems troubled from the start. Believing you were "forced" into it suggests a mindset that could be undermining the relationship. Ultimately, no one compelled you to marry; it was still your choice, even with the pregnancy. If the marriage isn’t working for you, what’s truly stopping you from walking away?

O boy na big drama o

But I like your action, e better as you shout there not everyday people go dey swallow injections unto packaging

Every Inlaw must not be a gentleman

optimismlaz:
My brother if you cares to listen, you did wrong , that their tradition other sisters of hers are not traditionally married and they cannot be tasked or asked to bring something. You must perform your traditional duties and there a lot of benefits and also there also consequences. Act wise

That's not tradition that's exploitation. How much are the man's kids contributing?

kevwemike:
Guy wat is wrong with U? Why are U talking like a child, U don't like the girl but Ur dick like her pussy to the extent U got her pregnant, and U are here saying that she force u into the marriage, u dey here urself? The truth is that wat the family counted for U is the right thing to do as in-law , just try and do the needful is Ur in-law.

Don’t do nothing! Forget about this guy telling you to do d needful. Na mumu him be!

Emotional blackmailing and he spent over 4 million for the marriage? The bros is not telling the whole truth.

maasoap:
May be you didn't listen to him or you just didn't agree with him. He married her because of the emotional blackmail about the threat of committing suicide