₦airaland Forum

The feelings I get during festive periods can be overwhelming tormenting for me. Festive periods are periods meant to be spent and celebrated with your families and loved ones. It's a time to meet and greet and familiarize with one another. However, my case has been different.
Firstly, my dad died when I was just 8years. It's been over 20yrs since he died. My mum remarried after two years of my dad's demise. They live in the village, while I lived with Aunties and uncles in the township and schooled, till I was able to get my own small apartment. While I was living with my relatives, they never allowed me to visit my mum at her husband's place cos I was just like a servant/house help. I had no right to talk or express my feelings. I was mistreated and maltreated. Also, by tradition, I'm not allowed to go stay or live with my mum in her husband's house especially considering that I'm a Man. This has created a big vacuum between me and my mum and even my siblings. My siblings are also living with our aunties in other states. The family Bond is lacking. Some times I even forget that I have a mother and siblings. I can stay for a whole month or two to three and not dial my mum's number. She calls but I hardly pick cos I'm not happy that she remarried.
It is much worse during festive periods especially Christmas when people will be traveling to celebrate with their loved ones and I won't be able to travel. I'm the only neighbor that doesn't travel during such Periods and I'm starting to feel that my neighbors will be thinking I don't have a family. Psychologically, I'm really affected. I intend building a house when God blesses me so I can unite everyone of us together. It's not easy.
I've become completely alienated and estranged from my immediate family and even extended ones. I don't have friends and I always keep to myself. Socially, I am affected as well. If I were financially ok, it would have been easier for me to unite us together. I could simply get an apartment where we can be meeting on such occasions.
If you have a family, you won't understand what God has done for you. There's nothing that can be compared to having a good family Bond. It's not always about Money. Not having a family can bring about some form of depression and anxiety which can lead to lack of productivity because you can only be productive when you're happy.
I'm just alone in this world, Good or bad, I bear everything. I keep asking God why He put me in this situation. I deserve Better.

You are not happy that your mom remarried?

I feel for you bro.

Just try not to think too much on it.

It's a good thing you have hope for a future with better prospects for you and your family⁶

Wananonly:
I feel for you bro.

Just try not to think too much on it.

It's a good thing you have hope for a future with better prospects for you and your family⁶

Thanks for your kind words. God bless you

😔😔😔

FerrariE:
The feelings I get during festive periods can be overwhelming tormenting for me. Festive periods are periods meant to be spent and celebrated with your families and loved ones. It's a time to meet and greet and familiarize with one another. However, my case has been different.
Firstly, my dad died when I was just 8years. It's been over 20yrs since he died. My mum remarried after two years of my dad's demise. They live in the village, while I lived with Aunties and uncles in the township and schooled, till I was able to get my own small apartment. While I was living with my relatives, they never allowed me to visit my mum at her husband's place cos I was just like a servant/house help. I had no right to talk or express my feelings. I was mistreated and maltreated. Also, by tradition, I'm not allowed to go stay or live with my mum in her husband's house especially considering that I'm a Man. This has created a big vacuum between me and my mum and even my siblings. My siblings are also living with our aunties in other states. The family Bond is lacking. Some times I even forget that I have a mother and siblings. I can stay for a whole month or two to three and not dial my mum's number. She calls but I hardly pick cos I'm not happy that she remarried.
It is much worse during festive periods especially Christmas when people will be traveling to celebrate with their loved ones and I won't be able to travel. I'm the only neighbor that doesn't travel during such Periods and I'm starting to feel that my neighbors will be thinking I don't have a family. Psychologically, I'm really affected. I intend building a house when God blesses me so I can unite everyone of us together. It's not easy.
I've become completely alienated and estranged from my immediate family and even extended ones. I don't have friends and I always keep to myself. Socially, I am affected as well.
If you have a family, you won't understand what God has done for you. There's nothing that can be compared to having a good family Bond. It's not always about Money. Not having a family can bring about some form of depression and anxiety which can lead to lack of productivity because you can only be productive when you're happy.
I'm just alone in this world, Good or bad, I bear everything. I keep asking God why He put me in this situation. I deserve Better.

First of all, create love for yourself and look on the bright side of life. Secondly, count your blessings and thank God. Many have died and many more are currently very sick even when they have families.
Thirdly, get very close to your siblings. You can invite one or two over for the holidays. If na garri and concoction rice you can provide, manage it. It's the togetherness that matters.
Don't wait until you are rich before you try uniting them. They'll thank you for it now and in future.

Lastly, find yourself a girl, someone quiet and fine. This is very very important. It's not as difficult as you think. You'll thank me later

Bro festive seasons like Christmas brings a whole lot of nostalgic feelings. You will probably be thinking that things are happening elsewhere but where you are

If I will advice you, travel to a neighboring state, stay in a hotel, attend concerts, carols etc, meet new people, you will just be fine

Zionmdde:
Bro festive seasons like Christmas brings a whole lot of nostalgic feelings. You will probably be thinking that things are happening elsewhere but where you are

If I will advice you, travel to a neighboring state, stay in a hotel, attend concerts, carols etc, meet new people, you will just be fine

Honestly. The feeling is an entirely different one. It's actually nostalgic. Only God can help me

FerrariE:
Honestly. The feeling is an entirely different one. It's actually nostalgic. Only God can help me

Just know that you are not alone, it's everywhere both those in Nigeria and those abroad. The era we are today is wiping off the communal life and togetherness we enjoyed years ago.
Just find a way and do what makes you happy

Zionmdde:
Just know that you are not alone, it's everywhere both those in Nigeria and those abroad. The era we are today is wiping off the communal life and togetherness we enjoyed years ago.
Just find a way and do what makes you happy

Life is just too tough at this moment, and I wish I had someone to put his hand around my shoulder to tell me it is well. Today and yesterday I've had nothing to eat. Nothing at all

Festive period is just an ordinary month to me. If my oga calls me on Christmas day to come to the laundry shop to iron some customers clothes, i will go.

Festive periods especially harmattan wind brings a pure nalstagic feeling

If you fall in love in this period and later break up.....you will be hurt yearly

You no to different from me just that my both parents are late, them no show me love at all from childhood my family is scattered no bond no love family love is alien to me.

Goodmarlian:
You no to different from me just that my both parents are late, them no show me love at all from childhood my family is scattered no bond no love family love is alien to me.

It's so hurting. Pls let's talk privately. One us can understand what we go through

O.P with this your situation, No marry any how oo. Look the woman wey you won marry well before you marry. Because as your story be like this, you come still marry yeye woman put for house. He dey quick kill man early.. No worry as time goes on your wife go give you the family wey u dey find (Children) my case be won be like your own small.. I dey do Christmas alone Esther alone. Until when I got married.. now table dey full. children go do one funny thing you go laff tire. If you come back from work, you go dey hear daddy oyoyo with all their strength

Thomthom:
O.P with this your situation, No marry any how oo. Look the woman wey you won marry well before you marry. Because as your story be like this, you come still marry yeye woman put for house. He dey quick kill man early..

My brother, thank you for this advice. I will never dare marry "anyhow woman". As if u dey my mind sef.