₦airaland Forum

Don’t ask her. Even if she has done it she’ll never accept it unless caught red handed.

E get wia I fit carry u go sha make u find out weda she don do am. D baba na final.

pelusi:
I traveled outside the country for 8 months now while my family is in Nigeria.

Now I will be returning to Nigeria next week. For this 7 months, I kept myself and did not mess around(slept) with any woman.

However, it's not that I don't trust my wife, but atimes I have an instincts that she may not hold herself like I did and may have fallen in hands of men.

Where I come from, it's an abomination for any married woman to sleep with another man because of the dare consequences it has on the husband of the adulterous woman.

Now I'm coming back soonest,I'm scared if she has slept with another man and I was suggesting before sleeping with her to sit her down and ask her to sincerely tell me if she has fallen in my absence,so that necessary things(cleansing) can be done before I sleep with her.

On the other hand, I'm reasoning whether asking her such will cause a misunderstanding in the marriage.

Please advise on the best way to go about this.

For those people who use to say it is forbidden from where they come from that there wife must not sleep with another man. Why is it not forbidden for their men to travel far away for many months

Asking is a waste of time.
Be quiet and investigate quietly.

pelusi:
I traveled outside the country for 8 months now while my family is in Nigeria.

Now I will be returning to Nigeria next week. For this 7 months, I kept myself and did not mess around(slept) with any woman.

However, it's not that I don't trust my wife, but atimes I have an instincts that she may not hold herself like I did and may have fallen in hands of men.

Where I come from, it's an abomination for any married woman to sleep with another man because of the dare consequences it has on the husband of the adulterous woman.

Now I'm coming back soonest,I'm scared if she has slept with another man and I was suggesting before sleeping with her to sit her down and ask her to sincerely tell me if she has fallen in my absence,so that necessary things(cleansing) can be done before I sleep with her.

On the other hand, I'm reasoning whether asking her such will cause a misunderstanding in the marriage.

Please advise on the best way to go about this.

lol so you expect a thief to admit he/she is a thief.i am not saying she committed adultery or otherwise but even if she did do you think she will own up?

For where you see women admit with their full chest say them fvck another man?

Topsido:
Find a relevant film about adultery. Watch it together. Study her mood. Start a discussion. Trust me you will get your answers.

There is a movie called war room or sth. My babe and I watch am, & I observed her trying to point how good the prayerful man was for forgiving his wife for cheating.

That amongst some other clues made me find out she was cheating. I hope she doesnt see this my comment lol, cos she go sabi say na me o.

santaclaws:
If I may ask you, what are the specific signs you've seen in your woman that made you suspicious? 🤔

Definitely there's something you know about her before suspecting her of cheating, so tell me so I can give u a valuable insight.

See question. He doesnt have to see anything.

8 months apart is more than enough time to cause suspicion. U don leave ur wife or gf for 8 months b4?

Rooneyx:
Bro trust me. No matter how she try to hide some details go still play out. Only if her guy is smart and vigilant. Check her blocked contacts and confirm too. Bro I smart for anyone to deceive me wit deleted messages. I go still fish am out there’re ways through this things before she go spill scatter start to confess

U make sense boss but mehn, 9ja babes bad o.

That year, na from call log me I begin suspect my babe sha. Couldnt get any evidence from her fone. She never clings to her fone so much to make me suspect.

But u know that 'Frequently Contacted List' na, wey go list those who u call and / or call u pass? Na from there I just note d top 3 names, & later when she returned from travel, compared d same list again. Checked the duration of d call & one day kinda ambushed her when she was making a call a few blocks outside of d house.

I only had to connect the dots. I was also a bit watchful. I read one nl thread taht day that said u shld suspect ur woman if she comes back from travel with new undies. Of course, that too is not hard evidence na, as women tend to buy new undies from time to time esp. after travel. But if u think am again, many women dont feel comfy if they use slightly old panties or bras to meet a nother guy wey go f**k am, unless d guy na like ex or na side dude wey don dey b4 u or sth like that.

Mehn, I pieced everything together & then confronted her. Dont start with sex sef. Ask her if she's kissed another guy in ur absence -- that one may catch her slightly offguard. Or if she went to visit another guy or invited another over in ur absence. Just twist d questions. Her guards are always up if u ask if she's had sex with another. Ask something else; an observant guy go catch on.

It was better not to get married at all than to ask that question.

Giddy44324:
there are two things you must do to find out

1) Chrome her whatsapp unknown to her, to see if she is chatting with any man. if she is cheating on you it will be in her chats. check her archived chats as well, dont forget her text messages and recent call logs. none of these should be ignored.

2) Take her to a pregnancy test. some women can become pregnant when their husband is away and when you come back they will try to pin it down on you after sex so you will not know. A lot of men have fallen for this. dont bother if she gets upset by the pregnancy test because if she does, then she has a skeleton in her cupboard. if she comes out negative simply apologize to her and life goes on.

if she passes these two tests, there is a 60% possibility that she didn't cheat while you were away

Your no 2 submission kinda makes sense but ur final summary of 60% that she didnt cheat is just too bad an estimate. That one is for those who not only cheat but want to get pregnant. But most women, dare I say, want to cheat without any complications or trail.

For your no 1, she go don prepare wella na. 8 months away, she go don delete tins tire na. It can only work well for couples who still live close by or under the same roof. Its difficult o.

pelusi:
I traveled outside the country for 8 months now while my family is in Nigeria.

Now I will be returning to Nigeria next week. For this 7 months, I kept myself and did not mess around(slept) with any woman.

However, it's not that I don't trust my wife, but atimes I have an instincts that she may not hold herself like I did and may have fallen in hands of men.

Where I come from, it's an abomination for any married woman to sleep with another man because of the dare consequences it has on the husband of the adulterous woman.

Now I'm coming back soonest,I'm scared if she has slept with another man and I was suggesting before sleeping with her to sit her down and ask her to sincerely tell me if she has fallen in my absence,so that necessary things(cleansing) can be done before I sleep with her.

On the other hand, I'm reasoning whether asking her such will cause a misunderstanding in the marriage.

Please advise on the best way to go about this.

And you honestly believe that she will tell you she did?

TemmyT002:
Asking is a waste of time.
Be quiet and investigate quietly.

Its too difficult. Investigation is easier when its a suspicion of active cheating. But most likely d girl / woman will do all possibility within those 8 months and clear all trails and act pious shortly b4 d man's arrival.

What d man may do may come some time before his stipulated arrival and try to do some undercover observation.

JoeEeL:
U make sense boss but mehn, 9ja babes bad o.

That year, na from call log me I begin suspect my babe sha. Couldnt get any evidence from her fone. She never clings to her fone so much to make me suspect.

But u know that 'Frequently Contacted List' na, wey go list those who u call and / or call u pass? Na from there I just note d top 3 names, & later when she returned from travel, compared d same list again. Checked the duration of d call & one day kinda ambushed her when she was making a call a few blocks outside of d house.

I only had to connect the dots. I was also a bit watchful. I read one nl thread taht day that said u shld suspect ur woman if she comes back from travel with new undies. Of course, that too is not hard evidence na, as women tend to buy new undies from time to time esp. after travel. But if u think am again, many women dont feel comfy if they use slightly old panties or bras to meet a nother guy wey go f**k am, unless d guy na like ex or na side dude wey don dey b4 u or sth like that.

Mehn, I pieced everything together & then confronted her. Dont start with sex sef. Ask her if she's kissed another guy in ur absence -- that one may catch her slightly offguard. Or if she went to visit another guy or invited another over in ur absence. Just twist d questions. Her guards are always up if u ask if she's had sex with another. Ask something else; an observant guy go catch on.

Omo me I never date any girl when cheat on me cos I dey always stay with all my women even till now sef. My woman and I dey together so no way to even think of cheating sef. When we dey smash on a regular and all. But cheating woman na issue good you find your own that way. Frequently contacts and blocked list can expose some hidden things wey peons suppose know with time. Woman and man no dey do bestie o. That na red flag

Rooneyx:
Madam shut up your dirty mouth if you don’t know sup. Your gender na wahala when it comes to cheating if he’s suspicious he has reasons too. Y’all can’t be trusted with that bottomless smelly pit your call PUSSY. ALWAYS ITCHING YOU ALL

is this also how your father abuse your mother when she come back from where they bang her...cos u sounds pain growing up seeing your daddy doing this

As if she would tell you if she did.

Rooneyx:
Omo me I never date any girl when cheat on me cos I dey always stay with all my women even till now sef. My woman and I dey together so no way to even think of cheating sef. When we dey smash on a regular and all. But cheating woman na issue good you find your own that way. Frequently contacts and blocked list can expose some hidden things wey peons suppose know with time. Woman and man no dey do bestie o. That na red flag

Yes na. After d long call she made that day, I discovered the same call was amongst the frequently contacted list wey I don take note of some time ago.

Baba no talk like that o, wetin u mean? U no fi dey wit ur woman 24/7 na. 🤣 Day go come when u go gats travel or separate.

Even within a single day or d space of a few hours, that's enough for a woman to cheat. Women when going to the market or school or to and from work place tend to branch elsewhere. Sometimes from visiting their fellow girls as excuse, they branch elsewhere.

Baba, e get one hotel for my area that time, I do see girls that dont live too faraway from the neighbourhood being picked by yahoo boys. I also hav quite a number of female friends & evn my ex then that do gist me about some things.

Baba, u can reduce d chances gan-an, but u can never fully eliminate it. Men always want to boast about their wife's fidelity because they can't imagine otherwise. I fit bet say at least 30% of d husbands of those women wey that equitorial guinea guy f**k go fit don swear b4 say nobody be touch their woman.

The remaining 70% wey get doubt about their woman no go believe say them go fit do am raw, and to make it worse, facing camera and smiling.

Baba, tread carefully abeg o. No go slogodo.

JoeEeL:
See question. He doesnt have to see anything.

8 months apart is more than enough time to cause suspicion. U don leave ur wife or gf for 8 months b4?

Calm down bro... there was a line in his write-up where he said he saw some signs and that was why I wanted to know so as to have a better picture...

Most distance relationships end up in someone cheating, I know this cos of my line of work and a lot of women actually cheat on their husbands abroad, this I know for a fact.

I understand your distress bro, this is your life we are talking about, you certainly know your wife more than anyone else. If deep down in your heart you know she is some how weak in that area and is capable of falling, sit her down and be wise about your approach. Don't just come up directly but be wise in your approach. Ask her how she was able to cope while you were away and watch closely her reaction and expressions. Don't be in a hurry to sleep with her but carefully do your inquiry. Don't die like a fool.
Tell her the matter cannot be hidden for too long, confession will save your life. If she hides it, it will nonetheless still be exposed when symptoms begin to come up and if you die your family and everyone will suspect her.

There is nothing wrong what did she say? wait o, its means you don't trust your wife anything your minds tells you she cheated why you're away She cheated

santaclaws:
Calm down bro... there was a line in his write-up where he said he saw some signs and that was why I wanted to know so as to have a better picture...

Most distance relationships end up in someone cheating, I know this cos of my line of work and a lot of women actually cheat on their husbands abroad, this I know for a fact.

Ure right

pelusi:
I traveled outside the country for 8 months now while my family is in Nigeria.

Now I will be returning to Nigeria next week. For this 7 months, I kept myself and did not mess around(slept) with any woman.

However, it's not that I don't trust my wife, but atimes I have an instincts that she may not hold herself like I did and may have fallen in hands of men.

Where I come from, it's an abomination for any married woman to sleep with another man because of the dare consequences it has on the husband of the adulterous woman.

Now I'm coming back soonest,I'm scared if she has slept with another man and I was suggesting before sleeping with her to sit her down and ask her to sincerely tell me if she has fallen in my absence,so that necessary things(cleansing) can be done before I sleep with her.

On the other hand, I'm reasoning whether asking her such will cause a misunderstanding in the marriage.

Please advise on the best way to go about this.

As long as you will be sincere and not angry if she asks you too.

It is also an abomination for a married man to sleep with someone that is not his wife.


Una go just dey use part of the law to suit una.

Faber:
Go through her phone first...

Then from her phone you may see one or two clues...

Steal her blood or saliva while she is asleep and Use it for pregnancy test, before paternity fraud hits on you.

Or you consult a native doctor...If I marry tomorrow, which I dont see it happening, they no born any woman well to cheat on me. I know where I will go and I will be briefed of all your whereabouts. 💯 Tested and trusted

This part makes sense. Most importantly, he should watch if she's trying to hide her phone from him have access to it

pelusi:
I traveled outside the country for 8 months now while my family is in Nigeria.

Now I will be returning to Nigeria next week. For this 7 months, I kept myself and did not mess around(slept) with any woman.

Forget about the traditional stuff, it's all bullshiit and crap. You're free to ask her but just know that the answer will be no and serious quarrel. I'm sure you don't want that.
The only choice you have is to go through her phone and do that occasionally, you can be subtle about doing that. But if you notice that she's hiding her phone from you or preventing you from having access to it, then something happened or still happening

Nonexisting1:
If your instincts signals you into suspecting she slept with someone else, she actually did and no need to ask her. Just do your personal investigation and act accordingly.

But Omo e shock me to find out that these are the kinda ladies guys are marrying now!!

justtoodark:
that marriage will be fvcked if you risk it and land wrong anyways....

this is not the same thing as askin for a dna test for a child....
you have to be very sure of your accusations....as soon as you get women out of the mood of love then its over for sure....

You do not know the taboos guiding our traditional marriage.

Once kola is broken and taken to the gods of the Land,it certifies the marriage. The woman, under whatever circumstances, can't go outside to cheat. The consequences is very,very severe and deadly. The woman could lose her life if she does it. In most cases, through abnormal sicknesses or gradual death.

The woman could be insulated from such cultural taboos if she calls off the marriage. In this case, various rituals are done and the bride prize returned. Then, she's are free to have sex with whoever pleases her. But not under matrimonial oath.

This marriage system is Very effective and checks infidelity among the women. A man could travel and leave the wife for over a year without slightest worry that the wife will cheat on him.

AlphaNugget:
Teacher, I understood him clearly.

I didn't come here to measure dick, not gedifok outta my mention.

Oga your prick small aje!

Na why you talk that thing abeg.

pelusi:
I traveled outside the country for 8 months now while my family is in Nigeria.

Now I will be returning to Nigeria next week. For this 7 months, I kept myself and did not mess around(slept) with any woman.

However, it's not that I don't trust my wife, but atimes I have an instincts that she may not hold herself like I did and may have fallen in hands of men.

Where I come from, it's an abomination for any married woman to sleep with another man because of the dare consequences it has on the husband of the adulterous woman.

Now I'm coming back soonest,I'm scared if she has slept with another man and I was suggesting before sleeping with her to sit her down and ask her to sincerely tell me if she has fallen in my absence,so that necessary things(cleansing) can be done before I sleep with her.

On the other hand, I'm reasoning whether asking her such will cause a misunderstanding in the marriage.

Please advise on the best way to go about this.

Is she using android phone?