₦airaland Forum

Stricker321:
You are so on point. At times I just feel like a fool.

Trust me, I am very handsome and I take good care of my family as God is helping me. I am a Christian and I cannot yield to temptation.

oya, let ur Christianity satisfy you na. Una go just dey allow women behave anyhow.
Treat her same way she treats u.

Stricker321:
Look, there's no time for these long stories, what is all this about? Just to have sex with my wife?

I wish you would read what she wrote, even if you cannot read the book she suggested. She is so on point. Some women are already stressed up, some are anxious (battling with how to feed their family in this economy) while some are depressed. Some also have undergone FGM through no fault of theirs when they young which makes sex painful to them. Are you sure that your wife is not in any of these categories?

airexx:
oya, let ur Christianity satisfy you na. Una go just dey allow women behave anyhow.
Treat her same way she treats u.

Treating her the same way she is treating him does not mean that he has to go outside to commit adultery, thereby sinning against his body and against God, but that he also ignores her in the bedroom.

There are ways the woman can be helped.

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep. .

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

Nothing surprising. There is a growing number of married men who suffer the same. I bet she's not interested in ora.l sex because it's dIrTY 🙄 Has she asked you the usual question: "Is sex food"? 🙄

Mind you, your obligations as a man to provide financial, mental and physical security still hold o. We've not even mentioned prostrate cancer and how black men are the biggest sufferers. Tomorrow, we'd be told there are benefits for a man in marriage aside from having children within a two-parent household 🙄

IamAsiri:
I wish you would read what she wrote, even if you cannot read the book she suggested. She is so on point. Some women are already stressed up, some are anxious (battling with how to feed their family in this economy) while some are depressed. Some also have undergone FGM through no fault of theirs when they young which makes sex painful to them. Are you sure that your wife is not in any of these categories?

I'm genuinely curious, why do you think married men especially in Nigeria's present situation aren't mentally and physically stressed up as well? Who provides the bulk of finances across Nigerian families (north, east, west and south)?

ds year and age wey girls ne de wear bra and cheap to hump, you dae stress yourself

Kingsasian:
She loved it back then during the period of courtship, anyways i do believe her when she said she lost interest after the birth of our child my only fear is cheating on her if the opportunity comes

If you cheat How will you bear looking at her everyday knowing that you have slept with another woman, and your child also? I know it hard but atleast even if it just once a week she lets you torch her manage it, don't scatter your marriage bro.

Or try romance first.. always put her in the mood first...anyway this advice is coming from an unmarried virgin dude 😁😁 I don't plan on getting married anyway..I love my sanity intact

Yea. We do romance and tease ourselves sexually but the issue is that i wish to want more than that almost on a daily. We do it once a week but that is only one round and whenever I ask for a second she declines. It was never like this when we were dating. Cheating is not an option for now because we both love each other and are best of friends. Unmarried virgin dude with so much wisdom

EzehFx:
If you cheat How will you bear looking at her everyday knowing that you have slept with another woman, and your child also? I know it hard but atleast even if it just once a week she lets you torch her manage it, don't scatter your marriage bro.

Or try romance first.. always put her in the mood first...anyway this advice is coming from an unmarried virgin dude 😁😁 I don't plan on getting married anyway..I love my sanity intact

airexx:
oya, let ur Christianity satisfy you na. Una go just dey allow women behave anyhow.
Treat her same way she treats u.

Women tend to take you for granted when you're a responsible man.

Make sure you identify and remove any stressors if you can.

My wife cannot be hand washing clothes or anything that can be done with a machine.

If you’ve eliminated all possible stressors, finance, housekeeping, child raising. Etc and noticed it’s not low libido or mental blocks that counseling can help with.

Sit her down and discuss like adults. If she doesn’t change. Turn her to a room mate. Better if you change rooms, Don’t ask her for sex again ever. Talk and chat with her as usual etc

Start going to the gym, get fit. Make a lot of female friends, post pics and let her notice. Keep late nights. Just live your life vigorously, Don’t cheat!

If she doesn’t change, she’s either cheating outside or totally lost interest in you.

Harsh truth, most women know what they are doing and like competition.

I know one woman that dealt with her muslim husband that loved her die like that. Why? Because she knew he hated polygamy. Frustrated Dude ended up with a second wife. She did a 100% turnabout but it was too late & never ever denied him again whenever he came visiting.

That’s women for you. If you understand their nature, you won’t be surprised by their gimmicks.

It’s good you saw through that previous long ass advice, they would never ever advise their fellow gender like that if tables were turned. It takes two to fix a marriage. Why must it always be the man doing the bulk?

And if you ever catch her cheating, send her packing asap.

SKhanmi:
Make sure you identify and remove any stressors if you can.

My wife cannot be hand washing clothes or anything that can be done with a machine.

If you’ve eliminated all possible stressors, finance, housekeeping, child raising. Etc and noticed it’s not low libido or mental blocks that counseling can help with.

Sit her down and discuss like adults. If she doesn’t change. Turn her to a room mate. Better if you change rooms, Don’t ask her for sex again ever. Talk and chat with her as usual etc

Start going to the gym, get fit. Make a lot of female friends, post pics and let her notice. Keep late nights. Just live your life vigorously, Don’t cheat!

If she doesn’t change, she’s either cheating outside or totally lost interest in you.

Harsh truth, most women know what they are doing and like competition.

I know one woman that dealt with her muslim husband that loved her die like that. Why? Because she knew he hated polygamy. Frustrated Dude ended up with a second wife. She did a 100% turnabout but it was too late & never ever denied him again whenever he came visiting.

That’s women for you. If you understand their nature, you won’t be surprised by their gimmicks.

It’s good you saw through that previous long ass advice, they would never ever advise their fellow gender like that if tables were turned. It takes two to fix a marriage. Why must it always be the man doing the bulk?

And if you ever catch her cheating, send her packing asap.

Thank you. They will never advise themselves, but coming with a lengthy and useless epistle for me to read just to have sex with my wife. Sex that is available just next door. Nonsense. Sometimes, being responsible makes one look stupid.

Kingsasian:
Yea. We do romance and tease ourselves sexually but the issue is that i wish to want more than that almost on a daily. We do it once a week but that is only one round and whenever I ask for a second she declines. It was never like this when we were dating. Cheating is not an option for now because we both love each other and are best of friends. Unmarried virgin dude with so much wisdom

On a daily?? You need to have self control.. but if you wish to do it daily won't you eventually get tired of it?? You will because it wont be a special act again and you may likely start seeking satisfaction outside cus you might get tired of your wife(as in seeing her naked body almost everyday) .

Well it a hard situation I will say.. make God give you wisdom to solve the matter sha

Kobojunkie:
You see why we continue to say that common sense is very far from a lot of you still? 😟🤨🤨

You asked her for a liberty that is denied you by virtue of your being in marriage. By granting you that liberty she equally grants herself that same liberty since marriage is an agreement that binds two individuals equally. You can cheat in marriage also means she can equally cheat in marriage. 😕

2. Your reasoning of things sef.... e dey tire person to try to digest! 😕

I don't blame u, I blame Nigeria educational system, cos it's a someone who is stupid dat can reason like u... I politely replied u n u r hearing spewing trash. U deynmad gang, u stupid bastard...

I don't blame u, I blame myself for engaing in such discussion with a foolish uncultured swine.

I even took my time to explain part of marriage to u, yet ur half baked brain couldn't comprehend shit..... Gutter bred kid forming woke...

Nobody asked for no fucking liberty u dullard,, d bone of contention n wat started d issue is dat SHE DENIED D MAN HIS CONJUGAL RIGHT.... This is Africa (TiA). It's our tradition. We wouldn't even have dis conversation if she didn't deny d man his conjugal rights... It's fucking simple to comprehend kid, if u can't Bleep, pls marry who is like u... Don't marry who has high sexual urge or libido n say u ain't in d mood. It's wickedness, n it's evil.

D man is ready to satisfy her, yet she is depriving him, now he wants to cheat, u r saying u will cheat too.. For wat reason do u want to cheat.... U do t wanna give ur husband, yet u wanna cheat... U dis pikin, u get sense so...

Think n reason b4 u speak or type rubbish ooo.. Always make sure ur brain is connected to ur brain b4 u speak or type kid.

Edojoma:
I don't blame u, I blame Nigeria educational system, cos it's a someone who is stupid dat can reason like u... I politely replied u n u r hearing spewing trash. U deynmad gang, u stupid bastard...

I don't blame u, I blame myself for engaing in such discussion with a foolish uncultured swine.

I even took my time to explain part of marriage to u, yet ur half baked brain couldn't comprehend shit..... Gutter bred kid forming woke...

Nobody asked for no fucking liberty u dullard,, d bone of contention n wat started d issue is dat SHE DENIED D MAN HIS CONJUGAL RIGHT.... This is Africa (TiA). It's our tradition. We wouldn't even have dis conversation if she didn't deny d man his conjugal rights... It's fucking simple to comprehend kid, if u can't Bleep, pls marry who is like u... Don't marry who has high sexual urge or libido n say u ain't in d mood. It's wickedness, n it's evil.

D man is ready to satisfy her, yet she is depriving him, now he wants to cheat, u r saying u will cheat too.. For wat reason do u want to cheat.... U do t wanna give ur husband, yet u wanna cheat... U dis pikin, u get sense so...

Think n reason b4 u speak or type rubbish ooo.. Always make sure ur brain is connected to ur brain b4 u speak or type kid.

You see that kobojunkie of a guy... He can make you loose your sanity here on NL. That guy is always on the opposition on every thread created here on NL.

I think his getting paid to always drag conversations on something so common. Always ignore him and save your sanity

EzehFx:
You see that kobojunkie of a guy... He can make you loose your sanity here on NL. That guy is always on the opposition on every thread created here on NL.

I think his getting paid to always drag conversations on something so common. Always ignore him and save your sanity

Thanks bro,, I'm done with dat fool now... Very stupid n irrational being.... Trolling with empty skull.

It takes a lot of energy. And it worse if the guy last on bed.

Note: it my own opinion on sex

What do you mean by sex is hard? I don't understand this.[/quote]

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

see an African man that wants to act like a white man

Get a side chick n let your marriage blossom, u won't disturb her when u have had enough outside n she won't feel u are stress her

Win win for both sides

Gerrard59:
I'm genuinely curious, why do you think married men especially in Nigeria's present situation aren't mentally and physically stressed up as well? Who provides the bulk of finances across Nigerian families (north, east, west and south)?

Everyone actually is, and men and women are not wired the same way.

Stricker321:
Look, there's no time for these long stories, what is all this about? Just to have sex with my wife?

Yes

If it is too much work for you, please go ahead and do what other men do. Short-term pleasures and quick fixes. Hurt your marriage and home. Side chics plenty and in this Tpain area, the billing will not have Part 2. You'll regret that money wasted by next year, when you need it.

Sha know that when you're 65 and you need help being reminded to take meds to keep you alive, there will be no friends or NL to follow you into your home.

Or put in the hard work now into your marriage and enjoy your Wife-Baddie-Bestie-Lover-Confidante till the day you die. Be whispering sweet nothings after sex and still be able to tell her your inner problems and insecurities in bed and watch her pray for you, the way no side chic can EVER pretend to. See men openly eyeing your Wife-Baddie but be unable to Balthazar her because you're drilling her at home and she's so satisfied, she wants to finish you with love.

Plant a tree today and sit under its' shade one day in the future

Your choice.

All the best.

Onegai:
sex and still be able to tell her your inner problems and insecurities in bed and watch her pray for you, the way no side chic can EVER pretend to. See men openly eyeing your Wife-Baddie but be unable to Balthazar her because you're drilling her at home and she's so satisfied, she wants to finish you with love.

Plant a tree today and sit under its' shade one day in the future

All the best.

I am glad this topic came up because you have always lampooned men for "cheating", but have never explained why a woman would use sex as a weapon against her husband. If she even agreed to ora.l sex, I can say she don try. But why is everything the fault of the man even when sex - tied to his hormones and prevention of prostate cancer - is now weaponised? How come the man is ALWAYS at fault in your opinion?

If OP has a pot belly or does not perform fore.play, that is his fault, but supposedly he is fit, trim and performs fore.play, how is it his fault? I am genuinely curious, why the Harvard and Oxford writeup for a man whose wife has weaponised sex to the point he has to beg for it?

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

How do you treat her?
Are you a good husband?
Does she truly love you?



Honest answers to the above questions would clear your eye

StPete:
Oga just get yourself a side chick.

It saves you pent up anger and relives you of stress.

Sex is very important to men. Like someone said, sexually compatibility is key. This is the first key thing to look out for.

When u finally get to bang outside and pay less attention to her, she herself will know she has bleeped up!

My brother, some men sincerely do not understand women. Compatible or not, some will deny you sex. That is why I laugh when I hear people tell men, “When you marry, sex will tire you,” because it is one of the biggest lies out there.

That's not always the case. Married men are the most sex-starved people anywhere, and that's because women know how much sex means to men, so they punish them with it or trade it one way or the other.

First, I’ll advise the guy in this post to keep dating his wife; it might help. Also, he should play an active role in her life during the day, flirt with her, and all that. If she's not a witch, she will let him have some. You know, some men will leave her alone all day, only to show up at night and expect her to turn nyash. If she has been harboring resentment and vexation all day, she won't turn nyash.

Also, men should stop being weaklings. It’s irritating as hell. I remember being in a talking stage with a lady, and at some point, the issue of how many kids we wanted came up. I told her I wanted three kids, and she said she wanted two. I asked her to reconsider, and she said no, that she had made up her mind long ago, and making room for a third child was too stressful for her mental health.

I said, “Okay, I wouldn’t want to stress you that way, you can stop at two, but I will still have three children.” She got angry, did her usual nye nye nye manipulations, but when all that didn’t work, she quit.

I’m not sure who told this guy that he can only have sex with his wife if she’s acting this way. Let her stay celibate if she wants, but he should make sure to take care of his needs, just do it smartly and with protection. You only live once.

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

Sexual incompatible is real. Better be sure before you say “I do”.

@Op you might want to consider marrying another wife, but the ready for what comes after you break the news to her. End.

Gerrard59:
I am glad this topic came up because you have always lampooned men for "cheating", but have never explained why a woman would use sex as a weapon against her husband. If she even agreed to ora.l sex, I can say she don try. But why is everything the fault of the man even when sex - tied to his hormones and prevention of prostate cancer - is now weaponised? How come the man is ALWAYS at fault in your opinion?

If OP has a pot belly or does not perform fore.play, that is his fault, but supposedly he is fit, trim and performs fore.play, how is it his fault? I am genuinely curious, why the Harvard and Oxford writeup for a man whose wife has weaponised sex to the point he has to beg for it?

Morning, bro.

I noticed you tend to jump on some of my comments wanting a debate.

Sorry, but I don't have time for that, as Life is short (for both of us) and my days of debating on NL were over a decade ago.

Everything I wrote and my reasons for saying them are stated clearly in the write-up. Literally mentioned in 2 paragraphs, very plainly. And there's no mention for blame of one party or the other.

That's all.

Everyone, have a great day

Stricker321

PS: let me add this, as an older woman.

Biologically, women's sex drive increases with age. Because we're socially conditioned to view sex as dirty, we spend our teens and 20s being ashamed of sex. By your 30s and 40s, that shame is gone and our hormones are actually pushing very hot.

Speak to older women, Dr's and sex store owners, their biggest clients are wives. Not single girls. I can tell you the names of the best sex vendors in Lagos. My very spiricoco friend can give you prices of intimacy gadgets off her head.

Menses feel more intense and so does Ovulation. The week of Ovulation for me is always horrid, I could jump a man daily. . Far too many of my friends discovered porn in this age (let me tell you this very honestly, if that Balthazar guy comes to Nigeria, he will beyond busy. Even me I watched the video and told my older sister "don't watch those videos, you'll faint with lust".

Heck, I watched one briefly yesterday, love that guy so many wives are secretly watching them .

Yet they're not sleeping with their husbands. Ask yourself why a Hot woman is not banging you. After years of neglect and disrespect on both sides and telling her "don't look at my phone if you don't want to cry".

And decide if you want to believe she hates you or if you want to fix things and be enjoying your lustful, hot, incredibly sex.y wife.

Also, Men in their 40s tend to have their libido taper off (which is why they start exercising and having their midlife crisis and drinking all sorts). Y'all actually need more help medically.

By 50s, women get hot flushes and the period ends and libido tapers. But if they go to a Urologist, they can get Estrogen to normalise things and resume business. Men then need Viagra.

Old people have a lot of sex.

Have a good one.

PS: sexual incompatibility is rare, saying this because I'm related to a Dr who treats it (it's usually medical or psychological). There was a white guy who said his ex-wife was frigid. Years later, he met her new man and was shocked to find out how hot his "frigid" wife was.

Some people know how to drive cars, others just have driving license and can move a car.

As for the physical aspect of sex I'll say this: Naija men are crude farmers, everything is a hoe to then. They literally "smash" and fall asleep in 2 mins.

Sex should be like driving a Toyota camry: you start the car, warm it a bit, then move to 20km/hr then 50km/hr before you enter express with 100km/hr. Slow to medium even strokes, gentlemen, not using the force of Sango, Amadioha and Thor to brutalise person's privates.

You got this, boys 🤟🏽

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

Tell her you’re not getting enough from her & if by a week’s time there’s no improvement you’d be looking outside. Maybe she’d sit up

It's people in this category that are more susceptible to this dismay.

Your wife and family is well taken care of, she is sure you can't go out because of your faith, and she will disassociate you from any female friends even old friends just to secure her inadequacy.

Stricker321:
You are so on point. At times I just feel like a fool.

Trust me, I am very handsome and I take good care of my family as God is helping me. I am a Christian and I cannot yield to temptation.

I need to speak with her,to know what exactly is her problem cos I don't understand

IamAsiri:
Treating her the same way she is treating him does not mean that he has to go outside to commit adultery, thereby sinning against his body and against God, but that he also ignores her in the bedroom.

There are ways the woman can be helped.

Is she not committing worse than adultery?

Gerrard59:
I am glad this topic came up because you have always lampooned men for "cheating", but have never explained why a woman would use sex as a weapon against her husband. If she even agreed to ora.l sex, I can say she don try. But why is everything the fault of the man even when sex - tied to his hormones and prevention of prostate cancer - is now weaponised? How come the man is ALWAYS at fault in your opinion?

If OP has a pot belly or does not perform fore.play, that is his fault, but supposedly he is fit, trim and performs fore.play, how is it his fault? I am genuinely curious, why the Harvard and Oxford writeup for a man whose wife has weaponised sex to the point he has to beg for it?

Gbam! God bless you

Stricker321:
Women tend to take you for granted when you're a responsible man.

Just get a side chick and marry her if you can. Polygamy is never a sin.

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

its depends, it might be low libido or financial challenges at home or you dont understand her body

if its low libido there is not much you can do asides continue to boost her

if there are financial struggles, you need to step up and assure her all will be fine in no time ... she just needs to put that baggage of her mind prior to intimacy

Be it the later,
I once met a gurl even her friends told she doesnt like sex, but will you believe one of the reasons i broke up with her is cos of tew much sex, a lot of men just jump on women, do there thing nd go leaving the woman unsatisfied.
youl I need to understand her mood and gesture that will help you uncover when and where to strike