Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas - Family - Nairaland
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| Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by k0be: 6:04am On Jul 18, 2007 |
where would you prefer to raise your children. Two important factors to consider. The heavy negative influence oversea (it's also in Nigeria but, ) vs. the Economic disaster in Nigeria. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by omoge(f): 4:06pm On Jul 18, 2007 |
i have a friend who sent her baby home so that she could go to nursing school. first granny of her oga came but was always sicky. so she went back home as medical bills too costly for them, today this, tmr that. shortly after baby was 9months and a friend helped them to take the baby home. she buys baby food and shipped them home, ummm. not too long she took in (to my surprise oh  ) the last i saw she brought the first one back. then i heard she went home with both kids with plans to leave them behind. oga sold his huge car, bought a small used car and another one that was shipped home to be used for the kids. i visit another friend (we all friends) for a wedding. my friend wasn't there hubby told me she traveled home with the kids and will leave them there. don't know whatsup so far but interesting. a friend of my neighbor is planning to go home and leave the kids (age about 4 and 2) behind to learn mother tongue they say. they will bring them back after or in 2 years time. she was saying she is looking forward to that so that she can have time to work. for me, i don't know ooo. when the time comes, we will see but it will be really tough. i think where you are will be good place to raise your kids. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by PTBNaija(f): 6:40pm On Jul 18, 2007 |
I know a lot of parents send kids back home for schooling (talking about both Ghanaian and Nigerian families). I was raised abroad, but living/schooling in Nigeria was definitely something that I would have loved to experience. There are so many things that I feel I've missed out and don't know about because of that. So I probably would send my children back home. . .or in a close Nigerian community. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by Busibaby(f): 12:28am On Jul 19, 2007 |
I was born in Nigeria. I came to America when I was 15. Now married with 3 children, my husband and I were thinking about sending the girls to Nigeria for High School. I mean we will all be living in Nigeria. I will never send any of my kids to Nigeria without me being there. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by ThiefOfHearts(f): 12:29am On Jul 19, 2007 |
Busi baby: why not? Best thing my parents did for me and my siblings. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by BlackMamba(m): 1:19am On Jul 19, 2007 |
If you have responsible relatives to entrust them, the best option I recommend is high school/secondary school education in Nigeria. The kids at that age are old enough to appreciate their heritage and there are good private schools in Nigeria that they can get quality education. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by MILITIA(f): 2:49am On Jul 19, 2007 |
 Never! I can never raise my kids in Nigeria-------without me being there. If I compromise everything else I can NEVER NEVER NEVER mess with the notion of lack of BASIC medical care or a "funky" educational system in Nigeria. I think I will go to South Africa or Ghana first. Nigeria, no way! I will take my chaces here if them like, MAKE THEM ROTTEN! I will have peace of mind having them here with me. Nigeria is not what it used to be. Every year is a greater nightmare! God forbid bad thing! |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by cuteass1(f): 5:27am On Jul 19, 2007 |
I don't know for others sha, but my parents took me down to Nigeria to do my primary and secondary, and travel up here during most vaccs. though it wasnt fun in the beginning, i couldnt be more grateful today for that well-thought decision of theirs. My younger sister is at the momemnt attending secondary down there, it hurts so much that she misses us and we miss her so badly too  , but i believe some years from today, she'll be looking back and smiling  I have lotsa cousins up here who have only been to Nigeria once or twice for christmas celebration, and believe me sometimes i wish i had the power to ship them down myself  Such little and grown-up brats (not all of them sha), but its no brainer that european upbringing to some extent lack child discipline . . |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by ThiefOfHearts(f): 3:10pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
cute-ass: Same here and i will never deny how grateful I am for them doing such Ironic how the same people bashing Nigerian education are the same people who cant write for shit. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by MILITIA(f): 4:27pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
cute-ass: I AGREE! I SAY MAKE THEM ROTTEN FOR HERE!  SHIT-ZU! See the ones that were raised there talking here---no single atom of manners in their dilapidated brains!  After learning "A" is for agogo and "B" is for blown- blow-----------"J" is for Jaga jaga! Rubbish! I say I dash una! Why did you all not stay there? Nonsense! |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by mamaput(f): 9:33pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
If i am not able to take care of my children , why have them.? I can send my kids away on visits but not for another person to take care of them. Why the hell have them in the first place if i dont want them around me |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by k0be: 10:16pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
I think idiots are slowly but surely losing the purpose of this thread. Warn yourselves o. It is not an issue of your ability to raise your child, it is a matter of what you value most as a parent. OR what you feel is right for your children. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by OmoEko1(f): 10:34pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
Raising kids in Naija is better jare because my parents did the same to me. I can't imagine if I went for primary school in abroad , I might be dead already.My mum is even thinking about sending our last born home, that little girl is to spoil jare, and she needs a serious lesson, by beat the living hell out of her. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by daprince: 10:46pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
I was born and raised in naija full time. I'm glad that I grew up there and had the opportunity to learn naija ways and customs. But I definitely plan on raising my kids where I live because one of the greatest things about having kids is being able to watch and nurture them. That kids in the West seem bad has to do a lot with the parents' style of raising their kids. Even if I'd lived where I live now as a kid, I would definitely have been as focused as I'm today. I can't and I won't have anybody raise my kids for me, somebody (I guess Mamaput) asked, "why have kids if u can't raise them?" Please give me a break, how many kids do make a constructive living for themselves back home in naija? How many kids actually write WAEC without external help? Most kids who have parents living abroad tend to act spoiled because they got that false aura about them that their parents are "rich," so they mostly act snubbish and stupid. If naija was that super to raise kids, why do kids/adults engage in deadly cultism in colleges and universities? I don't believe that where u live or grow up makes u, but your choices make u the man or woman u turn out to be. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by omoge(f): 1:27am On Jul 20, 2007 |
daprince you made good point, abi make i add to your question, if that superb eh, why carry belle at a young age? rampant in niaja. i think you raise your kids where you are is better. if you want to send the kids home, go ahead with them. when my times comes, i'd rather raise them where i am, wether nig or overseas. there oversea, i have my odo and native pots to cook with. i have basin and large plastic for them to wash their clothes ever now and then |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by Nobody: 1:54am On Jul 20, 2007 |
Send them back to naija to for secondary school. That experience is not worth missing. Let them go to boarding schools were they learn to be resourceful, creative and independent not spoilt brats spending 30yrs playing watching TV, driving around in a drunken stupor and thinking Xbox is the best thing since sliced bread. They can visit every summer just to do small shakara to their jealous friends. I'm not surprised that the allegedly oldest person on this thread is being her usual garullous and disgraceful self.  |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by MILITIA(f): 3:18am On Jul 20, 2007 |
Is it only oldest person on this thread! The grandma of Nairaland! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm  Looking out the window for a change!--------------- |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by ThiefOfHearts(f): 3:47am On Jul 20, 2007 |
Im not surprised either david. It's quite pitiful really anyway in reponse to mamaput, it has nothing to do with "not being able to care for your child" do you know how much it is to send children to a GOOD private school in Nigeria? not to mention upkeep and such? Obviously these parents are busy working HARD aboard and sending money back to Nigeria for their children's welfare. I personally loved being around my grandparents, aunts and uncles. I dont envy any Nigerian going to "secondary" school in The States. yuck. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by k0be: 5:15am On Jul 20, 2007 |
you don't envy them? why not? you get to have sex, join gangs, smoke weed, play football, and even party every weekend, all while learning. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by daprince: 5:24am On Jul 20, 2007 |
I had the privilege of going to a private school back in naija. What scares u about American high schools is exactly what u get back home. My friends and I started sneaking out of the dormitory at the age of 16 to go get drunk, some picked up the habit of smoking, including weed. Fortunately for me, I later made a choice not to engage even in drinking alcohol (and fortunately, I never smoked either). We went to hotels and did whatever we wanted and acted stupid, it wasn't just my school thing, but a general norm. So tell me, how is this different from what happens in the U.S? I had classmates who had knives and hatchets in the dormitory, the only thing I definitely knew that nobody had was a gun. To me, upbringing is a choice, and the choices we make as human beings are not necessarily based on where u are brought up but on the QUALITY of upbringing u get as a human being. I had the choice of smoking, drinking, and doing whatever but I decided to choose a path that I thought was best for me. Ok, talking about the quality of education people get back in naija, have most of u taken a critical look at the quality of grammar most people write on here? I've read some people's post here that claim to be post-grad students and I just shook my head. Also, talking about respect, most people here who claim to be raised in naija and are well cultured are the ones who insult people the most on this forum; tell me, where is the damn respect y'all are screaming about? I truly appreciate all I got from naija, the memories, education, etc, but I would be a failure if I failed to raise my kids in my own terms rather than having somebody raise them for me! In most cases, kids turn out bad not because they were raised in the U.S, U.K, or any other western country, but the sheer failure of the parents to draw the line when they need to. Let us all stop hiding under the guise that the west is bad for raising kids, but rather look more into ourselves as parents (for those who are already parents and those who hope to be someday), what we do or don't do. 1 Like |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by k0be: 5:28am On Jul 20, 2007 |
I'll tell you something that Nigeria clearly teaches you that you can take for granted here. The ability to value the littler things in life. It exposes you to top-grade proverty, unorthodox lifestyle, discipline, and etc, Smaller chores like washing clothes with your hands, hanging clothes in your backyard, sweeping the environment, living without electricity, in short it keeps you on your toes and makes you realize that life waits for no one. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by nguage(m): 5:43am On Jul 20, 2007 |
I am not trying to be funny, but an average Nigerian Secondary school kid is twice as smart as the brats in Ameican High scools. Problem is the kids will be treated like ''eggs'' when they go to Nigeria, THEY SPEAK WITH A FOREIGN ACCENT! |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by daprince: 5:46am On Jul 20, 2007 |
What are u insinuating K0be? |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by mamaput(f): 7:39am On Jul 20, 2007 |
k0be: k0be: I can see that all the nigeria school you went to did not work for you. Good manners come from Home and not from the school. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by mamaput(f): 7:44am On Jul 20, 2007 |
ThiefOfHearts: |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by mamaput(f): 7:49am On Jul 20, 2007 |
davidylan: Well i have almost finished with my kids. they do not smoke or drink or have bad manners. What can i say am blessed. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by daprince: 8:05am On Jul 20, 2007 |
I consider it more of a failure to send one's kids to naija rather than the pooh-poohing that some people are trying to push here. I think most people think they gonna fail as parents, so the need to send their kids back to naija. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by mamaput(f): 8:12am On Jul 20, 2007 |
daprince: Thankyou. I had kids because i wanted them. I love them and i love to be around them. I Love to hear what they have to tell me, about their days activities.I did not have them because its in the norm to get married and have them. I may as well lock them up in the keller and bring them out when they are 18. A spoilt prat/ brat remains on no matter were you put him. Kids belong to mother and father . Not to grand mother, brother sister or what ever. It is important that i see the development of my kids not just follow them up over the phone. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by MILITIA(f): 10:41am On Jul 20, 2007 |
Amen! @Topic Wherever you go, you will have negative influences and economic disasters--------America or Nigeria. If the children were born in Nigeria like most of us, maybe it is up for consideration-------only with both parents there of course or one single parent if divorce is the case! The whole family moves too! If the children were not born in Nigeria--------sorry, no! I cannot leave my children to be raised by grandmothers and househelps--thank you! You raise them to the best of your ability and leave the rest---to whatever they choose to worship! Afterall, none of us in my family attempted to kill our parents! And he - he - he heeeeeeeeee--en, read my lips---- no child of ours will attempt to "kill me or my husband"! There are many children who turn out well---irrespective of location or area of residence in the world---- as a result of good parental skills --------which I am proud to say "we" have! ---Thank you very much! Have yours and then you can talk okay? Or just try smell near altar, sniff sniff sniff--- Not to talk of reach altar! Most of you will never smell near there because of your nasty attitudes! He he he he he! I no they swear for una oh----------But e go hard! I SAY E GO HARRO! ----------Rejected sacrifices from both God and Devil! No body want una! You are so mentally lazy so I cannot even start to imagine in a blinking split second, what it is, you have to offer the opposite or same sex as a partner whatever your preference is! Nothing upstairs and downstairs! Total, absolute, cumulative losers! Keep deceiving yourselves that you are so-so young and "still single, searching and free to mingle"-----------OLD CARGOS!!!!!!! Book una no sabi! Looking at some of your profiles---Oh God!----daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! Malnourished and pukily ugly! Hmm! And you open your traps to write rubbish here! So dear poster, it does not matter! Nigeria is at a disadvantage because of I repeat-----------lack of basic healthcare and a very funky educational system. As a result of these two factors-----------ALL BETS ARE OFF! I beg off to work! See you guys at my lunch break or when I have down time!  |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by Nobody: 2:03pm On Jul 20, 2007 |
na wa for some "adults" sha, when they open their mouths you wonder what their children are really like behind all the facade. Thank God or America. |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by mamaput(f): 8:12pm On Jul 20, 2007 |
This Adult has done a good job. This adult has never had to go to the school because of a problem. This adult has never had to go to police because of a problem. This adult has Kids that are doing very well in school. One of them has even been the best in her class for the past few years, Children do not function they are not little toys , My kids are not Dogs gone wild that i cannot cope with. How trains the kids in Nigeria? Houshelps and SSS students. Why the hell will a 15 year old SSS student teach my 11 year old jss child manners. The love for my kids is unconditional. That means i love them no matter what . |
| Re: Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas by omoge(f): 8:17pm On Jul 20, 2007 |
@ MILITIA lol |
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