₦airaland Forum

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

If you threaten to divorce and remarry, heaven will not fall. See young man, it is high time you start being selfish. As she denies you sex, deny her of other things. Worst case scenario, it ends in divorce and you find a young fresh girl who will make you feel like a 21 year old boy again.
I was in this same shoe with a girlfriend then and I stopped touching her. She will come, eat, watch tv and i will not even touch her. A time came, she begged for intimacy and I still didn't give her. And in front of her I was answering calls of other girls. She insisnated I was cheating but to hell, I was simply seeking happiness.

Kobojunkie:
Are you here to have us advise you to rape your wife or something? I really don't understand the meaning or reason behind this thread.

Even monkeys have learned that sexual energy is just energy and can be spent on more productive endeavors than sex and reproduction. 🤨

I pity the fool that takes your advice.

airexx:
Is she not committing worse than adultery?

What's worse than adultery? Are you justifying adultery?

They both can resolve their issues and make their marriage a better one instead of the man following all the terrible advices given here and sinning against his own body and against God.

IamAsiri:
What's worse than adultery? Are you justifying adultery?

They both can resolve their issues and make their marriage a better one instead of the man following all the terrible advices given here and sinning against his own body and against God.

Didn't u read where he said they've talked about it severally but she still goes back to her old ways after some time?

In this case, d adultery is justified.

Stricker321:
How do married men cope with this situation? My wife wants sex like max of once a week. If she can even reduce it to twice a month she will do it. Even the once a week is usually a struggle. At night, she will say she is tired, in the morning, she will say I am disturbing her sleep.

This has caused quarrels, we have discussed, but before the blink of an eye, she has returned to her old way. I am determined not to sleep with another woman, but the struggle has been terrible.

I am just wondering why it has to be this tough and stressful to have access to my wife?

How is the finances at home? If bullish, first report to father in law, if she doesn’t change, escalate to church elders, if she doesn’t change these are grounds for serious counseling if you want to keep your marriage, if children is already involved find a way to work around your situation can’t help you.

airexx:
Didn't u read where he said they've talked about it severally but she still goes back to her old ways after some time?

In this case, d adultery is justified.

To you now. He is a Christian and Joseph would rather not do "such a terrible thing and sin against God". That in itself is better than becoming a sinner because of the lust of the flesh.

Moreover, there might be underlying issues that need to be addressed rather than just complaining about the lack of sex.

IamAsiri:
To you now. He is a Christian and Joseph would rather not do "such a terrible thing and sin against God". That in itself is better than becoming a sinner because of the lust of the flesh.

Moreover, there might be underlying issues that need to be addressed rather than just complaining about the lack of sex.

why the Christianity no help d situation?

Onegai:
Stricker321

As for the physical aspect of sex I'll say this: Naija men are crude farmers, everything is a hoe to then. They literally "smash" and fall asleep in 2 mins.

Sex should be like driving a Toyota camry: you start the car, warm it a bit, then move to 20km/hr then 50km/hr before you enter express with 100km/hr. Slow to medium even strokes, gentlemen, not using the force of Sango, Amadioha and Thor to brutalise person's privates.

You got this, boys 🤟🏽

I think the bolded is the real koko of the matter. Their wives are tired of their crude ways, both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom😂😂😂

Gerrard59:
I am glad this topic came up because you have always lampooned men for "cheating", but have never explained why a woman would use sex as a weapon against her husband. If she even agreed to ora.l sex, I can say she don try. But why is everything the fault of the man even when sex - tied to his hormones and prevention of prostate cancer - is now weaponised? How come the man is ALWAYS at fault in your opinion?

If OP has a pot belly or does not perform fore.play, that is his fault, but supposedly he is fit, trim and performs fore.play, how is it his fault? I am genuinely curious, why the Harvard and Oxford writeup for a man whose wife has weaponised sex to the point he has to beg for it?

I’m not the one you asked the questions, but let me attempt to give some reasons to this which I think may give some context to this issue.

Most African men are not romantic, they do not know how to connect with their wives emotionally and that’s an issue in most marriages. For women, having s*x is connected to their emotions. It’s not just a need. So, the husbands need to stir up their wives emotions positively, to be getting it regularly but most wouldn’t do this. What some men invest on their side chicks, they haven’t invested a fraction in their wives. Thats why there is this common saying out there “ a happy wife equals a happy life”. If a woman is not genuinely happy in the home, she most likely will be frustrating the man in the bedroom because that is how she feels she can be heard and her needs met.

Hmmmm! There might be unresolved issues that is making her withhold sex. Do you help her with house chores? What of the kids do you help in taking care of them. Cos it’s tiring after doing all the house chores alone and taking care of kids can make person worn out. I will advise you as a married woman wey I be, nothing dey outside make all these people wey never marry or take pleasure in having side kicks help you to scatter you house. You can get her small gift to appreciate her. At times appreciating us goes a long way like ‘ MY BABY WELDONE’ while massaging her back when she is cooking or doing something just to prepare her for the night sex. Pls sit her down and tell her if you should go outside to please yourself, she should know that she pushed you to do that. Sex is sweet and enjoyable. Maybe you don’t please her in the other room and she is going through some emotional issues or low libido. You can see marriage counselor together. IRE OOOOOOO. Enjoyment your home nothing beats happy family

airexx:
why the Christianity no help d situation?

Your question is unclear.

Oga run party with your side babe and her friend e nor too hard boss

thanks bro

EzehFx:
On a daily?? You need to have self control.. but if you wish to do it daily won't you eventually get tired of it?? You will because it wont be a special act again and you may likely start seeking satisfaction outside cus you might get tired of your wife(as in seeing her naked body almost everyday) .

Well it a hard situation I will say.. make God give you wisdom to solve the matter sha

Kobojunkie:
Again, You shouldn't tell anyone because if at this age you still don't know that sexual energy can be expended in other non-sexual ways, then the problem is most likely born of your general immaturity.

You really lack sense

Divorce her
And marry another wife.

Or divorce her
And stay single.

Marriage doesn't benefit men and you are sex-starved in addition to this.

AKWATGOLD1:
After paying heavy dowry to the wife's and extravagant church wedding, now when it come to access to your wife is now rotational. I think you need to inform her family and tell them if the result comes you should not be blame for it. Men Mumu sha

This is the problem....

After paying heavy dowry like she is a goat or a slave.

Even Jesus who paid with His life doesn't force humans to accept him.

Klass99 o!

Let me keep reading.

eniolorunfe:
I’m not the one you asked the questions, but let me attempt to give some reasons to this which I think may give some context to this issue.

Most African men are not romantic, they do not know how to connect with their wives emotionally and that’s an issue in most marriages. For women, having s*x is connected to their emotions. It’s not just a need. So, the husbands need to stir up their wives emotions positively, to be getting it regularly but most wouldn’t do this. What some men invest on their side chicks, they haven’t invested a fraction in their wives. Thats why there is this common saying out there “ a happy wife equals a happy life”. If a woman is not genuinely happy in the home, she most likely will be frustrating the man in the bedroom because that is how she feels she can be heard and her needs met.

It depends on the context of being "romantic" here. Are you assessing African men from the Eurocentric view of romance? For instance, Paris is said to be the City of Love/Romance, but I wager many African or Asian men don't view it as such. I rather have a city in the Caribbean or Brazil as such. Romance is tied to culture. Africans need to choose which culture they prefer - theirs or the Eurocentric view.

Two, things are hard in Nigeria. It takes a lot for a man to provide and be there for his household. Expecting the same man to be the numero-uno in romance is quite unrealistic.

Third, some of these women don't like sex. They see it as a chore. Funny enough, they had more than enough sexual intercourse experiences from 17/18 - 25. While Onega.i is right that older women are expressive in sex, it is absurd to weaponize it against one's husband YET expect him not to look outside.

It is bad when men are bullied from both sides - see sex as a reward when you beg for it, but don't complain that your wife withholds it from you. So suck it up. At the same time, don't look outside, but continue to provide for the family.

---

Mind you: https://x.com/OfficiaEdoOsasB/status/1860040858596442505

These are the women who weaponise sex against their husbands.

🤭🤭🤭

Onegai:
Stricker321

PS: let me add this, as an older woman.

Biologically, women's sex drive increases with age. Because we're socially conditioned to view sex as dirty, we spend our teens and 20s being ashamed of sex. By your 30s and 40s, that shame is gone and our hormones are actually pushing very hot.

Speak to older women, Dr's and sex store owners, their biggest clients are wives. Not single girls. I can tell you the names of the best sex vendors in Lagos. My very spiricoco friend can give you prices of intimacy gadgets off her head.

Menses feel more intense and so does Ovulation. The week of Ovulation for me is always horrid, I could jump a man daily. . Far too many of my friends discovered porn in this age (let me tell you this very honestly, if that Balthazar guy comes to Nigeria, he will beyond busy. Even me I watched the video and told my older sister "don't watch those videos, you'll faint with lust".

Heck, I watched one briefly yesterday, love that guy so many wives are secretly watching them .

Yet they're not sleeping with their husbands. Ask yourself why a Hot woman is not banging you. After years of neglect and disrespect on both sides and telling her "don't look at my phone if you don't want to cry".

And decide if you want to believe she hates you or if you want to fix things and be enjoying your lustful, hot, incredibly sex.y wife.

Also, Men in their 40s tend to have their libido taper off (which is why they start exercising and having their midlife crisis and drinking all sorts). Y'all actually need more help medically.

By 50s, women get hot flushes and the period ends and libido tapers. But if they go to a Urologist, they can get Estrogen to normalise things and resume business. Men then need Viagra.

Old people have a lot of sex.

Have a good one.

PS: sexual incompatibility is rare, saying this because I'm related to a Dr who treats it (it's usually medical or psychological). There was a white guy who said his ex-wife was frigid. Years later, he met her new man and was shocked to find out how hot his "frigid" wife was.

Some people know how to drive cars, others just have driving license and can move a car.

As for the physical aspect of sex I'll say this: Naija men are crude farmers, everything is a hoe to then. They literally "smash" and fall asleep in 2 mins.

Sex should be like driving a Toyota camry: you start the car, warm it a bit, then move to 20km/hr then 50km/hr before you enter express with 100km/hr. Slow to medium even strokes, gentlemen, not using the force of Sango, Amadioha and Thor to brutalise person's privates.

You got this, boys 🤟🏽

Man with hairy balls and a functioning brain is crying that his wife is witholding her body




He says he's a Christian
And going outside is against his belief
But what he fails to realise is that
His woman turning him down, has broken first rule


But i won't be bearer of bad news
Pls, beg your wife more
Peradventure
She could allow u put the tip

Onegai:
Stricker321

PS: let me add this, as an older woman.

Biologically, women's sex drive increases with age. Because we're socially conditioned to view sex as dirty, we spend our teens and 20s being ashamed of sex. By your 30s and 40s, that shame is gone and our hormones are actually pushing very hot.

Speak to older women, Dr's and sex store owners, their biggest clients are wives. Not single girls. I can tell you the names of the best sex vendors in Lagos. My very spiricoco friend can give you prices of intimacy gadgets off her head.

Menses feel more intense and so does Ovulation. The week of Ovulation for me is always horrid, I could jump a man daily. . Far too many of my friends discovered porn in this age (let me tell you this very honestly, if that Balthazar guy comes to Nigeria, he will beyond busy. Even me I watched the video and told my older sister "don't watch those videos, you'll faint with lust".

Heck, I watched one briefly yesterday, love that guy so many wives are secretly watching them .

Yet they're not sleeping with their husbands. Ask yourself why a Hot woman is not banging you. After years of neglect and disrespect on both sides and telling her "don't look at my phone if you don't want to cry".

And decide if you want to believe she hates you or if you want to fix things and be enjoying your lustful, hot, incredibly sex.y wife.

Also, Men in their 40s tend to have their libido taper off (which is why they start exercising and having their midlife crisis and drinking all sorts). Y'all actually need more help medically.

By 50s, women get hot flushes and the period ends and libido tapers. But if they go to a Urologist, they can get Estrogen to normalise things and resume business. Men then need Viagra.

Old people have a lot of sex.

Have a good one.

PS: sexual incompatibility is rare, saying this because I'm related to a Dr who treats it (it's usually medical or psychological). There was a white guy who said his ex-wife was frigid. Years later, he met her new man and was shocked to find out how hot his "frigid" wife was.

Some people know how to drive cars, others just have driving license and can move a car.

As for the physical aspect of sex I'll say this: Naija men are crude farmers, everything is a hoe to then. They literally "smash" and fall asleep in 2 mins.

Sex should be like driving a Toyota camry: you start the car, warm it a bit, then move to 20km/hr then 50km/hr before you enter express with 100km/hr. Slow to medium even strokes, gentlemen, not using the force of Sango, Amadioha and Thor to brutalise person's privates.

You got this, boys 🤟🏽

@bold, many Nigerian men don't know how to fvCk.

AmazonTopaz:
@bold, many Nigerian men don't know how to fvCk.

Them go soon come for your head, Topaz. 😂😂😂

folake4u:
Them go soon come for your head, Topaz. 😂😂😂

Na Dem sabi.
Only their pleasure them sabi. Your satisfaction be damned.
They cannot fvCk the women in their lives should be telling them the truth.

AmazonTopaz:
Na Dem sabi.
Only their pleasure them sabi. Your satisfaction be damned.
They cannot fvCk the women in their lives should be telling them the truth.

If you tell some of them the truth now, their ego will be bruised.

That's how some say they cannot give their women head on one thread, I said Issokay.

Onegai:
Morning, bro.

I noticed you tend to jump on some of my comments wanting a debate.

Sorry, but I don't have time for that, as Life is short (for both of us) and my days of debating on NL were over a decade ago.

Everything I wrote and my reasons for saying them are stated clearly in the write-up. Literally mentioned in 2 paragraphs, very plainly. And there's no mention for blame of one party or the other.

That's all.

Everyone, have a great day

Cc: Magnoliaa.

You go like see this one.

folake4u:
Cc: Magnoliaa.

You go like see this one.

🤣🤣

I saw she's responding to Gerrard.


I'm coming. Let me see what it's about.

folake4u:
If you tell some of them the truth now, their ego will be bruised.

That's how some say they cannot give their women head on one thread, I said Issokay.

If you cannot give a woman that wants head, why are they fvCking? They are to please her just as much as they please themselves.

Magnoliaa:
🤣🤣

I saw she's responding to Gerrard.


I'm coming. Let me see what it's about.

Okay baby.🤣🤣

AmazonTopaz:
If you cannot give a woman that wants head, why are they fvCking? They are to please her just as much as they please themselves.

Don't mind them.

Some will even want BJ but not give head. How? Selfishness at its peak.

folake4u:
Don't mind them.

Some will even want BJ but not give head. How? Selfishness at its peak.

Women should stop fvCking nonsense.
If he cannot satisfy you in bed cut him off.

AmazonTopaz:
Women should stop fvCking nonsense.
If he cannot satisfy you in bed cut him off.

I know right. Some of them na bad market.