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Please Guys I Need Honest Advice - Family - Nairaland

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Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Odafe360(op):
I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by MMempire(m): 8:34am On Dec 08, 2024
Ghost them for now. Just occasionally visit your children at their school and not in her parent's house. Keep the bond with your kids and move on as a man. At least, you can be proud of two biological kids. When the time comes, your children will never forget you. Shikena!
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Odafe360(op): 8:38am On Dec 08, 2024
MMempire:
Ghost them for now. Just occasionally visit your children at their school and not in her parent's house. Keep the bond with your kids and move on as a man. At least, you can be proud of two biological kids. When the time comes, your children will never forget you. Shikena!
hmmm, deep..... Infact she called me just this morning and was telling me that the children have been asking when i'll be coming, i didn't answer her. They'll have to enroll the children in a new school cos her mum's place is very very far.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Namaster:
You FAILED as a man when you forgave a cheater qnd a liar.

You FAILED as a man when you took back a WHOORE and decided to raise her BASTARD.

You made yourself a BIGGER fool by loving, treating and investing in her bastard like your own child.

Women are RESOURCE-CONSCIOUS. They understand the scarcity of emotional and financial resources and how important it is to raising kids.

That's why a seemingly generous and kind woman would be STINGY and WICKED to the children of other people in her care.

A man that's willing to DOLE out these resources to take care of a child that's not his is seen as a WASTEFUL and UNRELIABLE man that cannot be trusted to put his own family first.

When you started loving and treating her BASTARD equal to your own children, you FAILED!

You showed her that the most HORRIBLE kind of child (i.e the product of a great BETRAYAL) deserves the same amount of love and care as your OWN flesh and blood.

UTTER FAILURE!

Another point of failure is keeping her secret affair secret. She BETRAYED you and you still did her a favour by hiding her affair.

Failure!

When you find out your woman betrayed you, you tell the WHOLE WORLD. Shame and stigma are two INDISPENSABLE pillars of any society.

You tell HER family.
You tell YOUR family.
You tell HER church/mosque.
You tell HER friends.
You tell YOUR friends.

And you NEVER take her back!

You never take her back and give her another opportunity to BETRAY you again.

Taking a cheating woman back is like being shot in the chest with a pistol while wearing a bulletproof vest. And then taking off the vest and handing the shooter a BAZOOKA while telling them to take another shot to your head.

Only thing you can do right now is go to her family house with the MOST rugged and UNRULY members of your own family and take back your TWO children.

Do DNA tests to confirm that they're actually yours and then BLOCK the bitch, her family and her bastard.

NEVER talk to them again.

If she wants to see her children, she can go to court.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by frozen70(f): 8:41am On Dec 08, 2024
Odafe360:
I'm married with 3kids... Sometimes back i found out about the paternity of my first child which happened to be that my it wasn't my child. I sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her I she really wants to leave, she must wait for the year to end..... Then all of a sudden she started packing her things gradually to her parents house(though her father is late). Finally she left with the kids yesterday. Guess what? Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened from me, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place to plead, i was still the one who went to see her and bring my wife and kids back home..... Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house.
Well sorry for this kind of embarrassment just because you choose to be a gentle man

At this point your wife will still do you things that will break your heart the more

So, go and inform your family or siblings of what she has done and will still do more because this is not the first time and is not the second time, that means she will do more

Just move on with your life and if possible Change your residence and move on, as it is now she is killing you slowly

How can you be training another man child yet no peace at home

When hunger deals with them she will look for you by then you are already busy and can't keep two relationships

She will take you to court or mediation centre, when you get there, open up

No human on earth has the power to deprive another person's happiness
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 8:46am On Dec 08, 2024
No
Don't move on
Don't ignore them
If you do, then you are just like the wife's family in character and manner.


If you know you have a better heart and you are not wicked like them. Don't ignore your own family.

People adopt children and take care of them exactly like their own.
Totally see the child that is not yours as your own and
See the negative aspect to you ignoring him.
Still apologize to your wife then tell her to come back home.
If she refuses, then go and pick the children.

She would most likely not prevent you from picking the children and will never prevent you from picking your own biological child.

If she rejects that you pick the child that is not yours, leave the child with her and still constantly contact them and even send them money for upkeep and their well being

If you do all of these, you are totally on the right track. I promise you.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 8:47am On Dec 08, 2024
frozen70:
Well sorry for this kind of embarrassment just because you choose to be a gentle man

At this point your wife will still do you things that will break your heart the more

So, go and inform your family or siblings of what she has done and will still do more because this is not the first time and is not the second time, that means she will do more

Just move on with your life and if possible Change your residence and move on, as it is now she is killing you slowly

How can you be training another man child yet no peace at home

When hunger deals with them she will look for you by then you are already busy and can't keep two relationships

She will take you to court or mediation centre, when you get there, open up

No human on earth has the power to deprive another person's happiness
Wrong advice
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 8:47am On Dec 08, 2024
MMempire:
Ghost them for now. Just occasionally visit your children at their school and not in her parent's house. Keep the bond with your kids and move on as a man. At least, you can be proud of two biological kids. When the time comes, your children will never forget you. Shikena!
Wrong advice
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by madridguy(m): 8:48am On Dec 08, 2024
Your write up maybe true or not but if you really need advise, follow this great teacher on Twitter.

Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by gsmphoneseller: 8:49am On Dec 08, 2024
Bro free that reptile from your life. Any lady impregnated by another man first will never give you peace, ask men who went for single mother's.

If you bring her back again, she'll not only break your heart but she'll also bury it.

Go for Thanksgiving
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Zonefree(m): 8:50am On Dec 08, 2024
After reading your epistle, I'll be putting extra N500 in the offering box this morning just to thank God for not creating me a SIMPle man.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by frozen70(f): 8:55am On Dec 08, 2024
Sirmwill:
Wrong advice
Do you wish to be in his shoes

If yes, pray for such wife

If no then what's wrong with that advice

Untill he dies of depression, then you will feel for him
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by madridguy(m): 8:59am On Dec 08, 2024
My brother help me add additional #500 for me too. Imagine him still regarding a bastard as his own son.

Zonefree:
After reading your epistle, I'll be putting extra N500 in the offering box this morning just to thank God for not creating me a SIMPle man.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Odafe360(op): 9:00am On Dec 08, 2024
frozen70:
Well sorry for this kind of embarrassment just because you choose to be a gentle man

At this point your wife will still do you things that will break your heart the more

So, go and inform your family or siblings of what she has done and will still do more because this is not the first time and is not the second time, that means she will do more

Just move on with your life and if possible Change your residence and move on, as it is now she is killing you slowly

How can you be training another man child yet no peace at home

When hunger deals with them she will look for you by then you are already busy and can't keep two relationships

She will take you to court or mediation centre, when you get there, open up

No human on earth has the power to deprive another person's happiness
do you know that just like that she told me that if i think she would come back when she gets broke or can't cater for the kids then I'm deceiving myself because God will never allow that... I then told her that it's your imagination, i'll never pray for that to happen to you. The painful thing is that i can't even tell my siblings about it because they didn't support my marriage to her and because of that we stopped taking with my biological siblings since i got married.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Zonefree(m): 9:02am On Dec 08, 2024
madridguy:
My brother help me add additional #500 for me too. Imagine him still regarding a bastard as his own son.
Alright bro.

The Church of God will be receiving extra N1000 today.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:05am On Dec 08, 2024
frozen70:
Do you wish to be in his shoes

If yes, pray for such wife

If no then what's wrong with that advice

Untill he dies of depression, then you will feel for him
No
If he follows your advice, only then is there a high probability of him dying of depression
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by madridguy(m): 9:06am On Dec 08, 2024
Thanks comrade.

Zonefree:
Alright bro.

The Church of God will be receiving extra N1000 today.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:07am On Dec 08, 2024
madridguy:
My brother help me add additional #500 for me too. Imagine him still regarding a bastard as his own son.
I hope no one ever took care of you apart from your parents.
If so, then you are just being wicked!
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by frozen70(f): 9:07am On Dec 08, 2024
Odafe360:
do you know that just like that she told me that if i think she would come back when she gets broke or can't cater for the kids then I'm deceiving myself because God will never allow that... I then told her that it's your imagination, i'll never pray for that to happen to you. The painful thing is that i can't even tell my siblings about it because they didn't support my marriage to her and because of that we stopped taking with my biological siblings since i got married.
You can't loose at both ends

You need your sibblings now and it's time to redress some issues

You can imagine, she knows that you are not in talking terms with your sibblings and she is also using that to deal with you by behaving like an agent of destruction

Find a way to reconcile with your sibblings, worst case they will mock you, but at the end you will reconcile with them

You are not there and your are not here

How do you want to live a satisfying life

Family is everything especially with your sibblings

If anything should happen to you to day, God forbid, your wife will envy bring those kids to your family because already she is not with them

So, you can't handle that alone

Remove pride is you have any and go back to your siblings
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by frozen70(f): 9:09am On Dec 08, 2024
Sirmwill:
No
If he follows your advice, only then is there a high probability of him dying of depression
Ok advice him on what to do

Hope you read where he said that, because of his wife he is not in talking terms with his family and sibblings
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by madridguy(m): 9:13am On Dec 08, 2024
Small boy like you would rather be ranting instead to listen to elders and learn.

Do you know the meaning of a bastard?

Is the boy an orphan?

Sirmwill:
I hope no one ever took care of you apart from your parents.
If so, then you are just being wicked!
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:21am On Dec 08, 2024
madridguy:
Small boy like you would rather be ranting instead to listen to elders and learn.

Do you know the meaning of a bastard?

Is the boy an orphan?
If you go somewhere very far in a country dominated by the whites for a very special event and while inside the event center,you notice you are the only black person there.Then in the the midst of the event and everyone,a large amount of police came in to arrest you and they cuff your hands like a criminal and the reason is someone called to report that "there's a black person in our midst". How would you feel?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by dawnomike(m): 9:22am On Dec 08, 2024
Odafe360:
I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?
Sorry about your experience... I understand how you feel.

But please, this time around, you have to try as hard as possible not to go there to beg and bring them back.

Call in daily to speak with your kids... If she sees your not coming for them, she will start to think her life.
She might begin to use the kids to guilt trip you... Please, do not bulge.

If she wants to come back... She should come back by herself.

Pls, let me know if you need to speak with someone... You can always reach out to me.

Be strong brother... What you're going through is not east but may God guide you.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:23am On Dec 08, 2024
madridguy:
Small boy like you would rather be ranting instead to listen to elders and learn.

Do you know the meaning of a bastard?

Is the boy an orphan?
When you were born, did you know exactly the circumstances surrounding your birth.
Could you control it?
Could you decide to be born by Bezos or Musk or if you were to be born as a 'bastard" somewhere, you could change it?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by madridguy(m): 9:24am On Dec 08, 2024
You are just trying to hide behind a finger. Your illustration is completely off bro. In any sane family, such woman will be dealt with seriously. Pinning someone else child to another man to train is a high level of wickedness. You will not understand now but later in life.


Sirmwill:
If you go somewhere very far in a country dominated by the whites for a very special event and while inside the event center,you notice you are the only black person there.Then in the the midst of the event and everyone,a large amount of police came in to arrest you and they cuff your hands like a criminal and the reason is someone called to report that "there's a black person in our midst". How would you feel?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:28am On Dec 08, 2024
madridguy:
Small boy like you would rather be ranting instead to listen to elders and learn.

Do you know the meaning of a bastard?

Is the boy an orphan?
So
The child that has just suddenly seen himself in this world and is willing to do great things should be sad and frustrated because you and some people have decided to call him "A Bastard, useless and worthless person" Someone who shouldn't be seen among people and only deserves to be kept with animals

Because of how he was born?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:30am On Dec 08, 2024
Namaster:
You FAILED as a man when you forgave a cheater qnd a liar.

You FAILED as a man when you took back a WHOORE and decided to raise her BASTARD.

You made yourself a BIGGER fool by loving, treating and investing in her bastard like your own child.

Women are RESOURCE-CONSCIOUS. They understand the scarcity of emotional and financial resources and how important it is to raising kids.

That's why a seemingly generous and kind woman would be STINGY and WICKED to the children of other people in her care.

A man that's willing to DOLE out these resources to take care of a child that's not his is seen as a WASTEFUL and UNRELIABLE man that cannot be trusted to put his own family first.

When you started loving and treating her BASTARD equal to your own children, you FAILED!

You showed her that the most HORRIBLE kind of child (i.e the product of a great BETRAYAL) deserves the same amount of love and care as your OWN flesh and blood.

UTTER FAILURE!

Another point of failure is keeping her secret affair secret. She BETRAYED you and you still did her a favour by hiding her affair.

Failure!

When you find out your woman betrayed you, you tell the WHOLE WORLD. Shame and stigma are two INDISPENSABLE pillars of any society.

You tell HER family.
You tell YOUR family.
You tell HER church/mosque.
You tell HER friends.
You tell YOUR friends.

And you NEVER take her back!

You never take her back and give her another opportunity to BETRAY you again.

Taking a cheating woman back is like being shot in the chest with a pistol while wearing a bulletproof vest. And then taking off the vest and handing the shooter a BAZOOKA while telling them to take another shot to your head.

Only thing you can do right now is go to her family house with the MOST rugged and UNRULY members of your own family and take back your TWO children.

Do DNA tests to confirm that they're actually yours and then BLOCK the bitch, her family and her bastard.

NEVER talk to them again.

If she wants to see her children, she can go to court.
This is total evil.

If there's anyone you have offended, they absolutely need to act like this right?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by visaclick: 9:31am On Dec 08, 2024
Zonefree:
After reading your epistle, I'll be putting extra N500 in the offering box this morning just to thank God for not creating me a SIMPle man.
and by going to church the same tool that the whites used to put us in slavely u think u are not worse than a simple man? Take a trip to badagry musium and see how the church held your forefathers in an underground while ur dad was upstairs yelling Amen.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by madridguy(m): 9:33am On Dec 08, 2024
The boy should be return to his father with immediate effect.

Sirmwill:
So
The child that has just suddenly seen himself in this world and is willing to do great things should be sad and frustrated because you and some people have decided to call him "A Bastard, useless and worthless person" Someone who shouldn't be seen among people and only deserves to be kept with animals

Because of how he was born?
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Sirmwill: 9:36am On Dec 08, 2024
madridguy:
The boy should be return to his father with immediate effect.
Of course

Of course


And still
It depends
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Odafe360(op): 9:43am On Dec 08, 2024
dawnomike:
Sorry about your experience... I understand how you feel.

But please, this time around, you have to try as hard as possible not to go there to beg and bring them back.

Call in daily to speak with your kids... If she sees your not coming for them, she will start to think her life.
She might begin to use the kids to guilt trip you... Please, do not bulge.

If she wants to come back... She should come back by herself.

Pls, let me know if you need to speak with someone... You can always reach out to me.

Be strong brother... What you're going through is not east but may God guide you.
imagine till date no one has called or come over to here from me.... please bro, can we chat privately on WhatsApp? I'm really passing through hell right now.
Re: Please Guys I Need Honest Advice by Bea1234: 10:01am On Dec 08, 2024
frozen70:
Ok advice him on what to do

Hope you read where he said that, because of his wife he is not in talking terms with his family and sibblings
Good morning frozen70. Pls where can I design book cover for KDP. I'm frustrated please 🙏
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