₦airaland Forum

Bea1234:
Good morning frozen70. Pls where can I design book cover for KDP. I'm frustrated please 🙏

Odafe360:
I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?

Odafe360:
do you know that just like that she told me that if i think she would come back when she gets broke or can't cater for the kids then I'm deceiving myself because God will never allow that... I then told her that it's your imagination, i'll never pray for that to happen to you. The painful thing is that i can't even tell my siblings about it because they didn't support my marriage to her and because of that we stopped taking with my biological siblings since i got married.

Odafe360:
do you know that just like that she told me that if i think she would come back when she gets broke or can't cater for the kids then I'm deceiving myself because God will never allow that... I then told her that it's your imagination, i'll never pray for that to happen to you. The painful thing is that i can't even tell my siblings about it because they didn't support my marriage to her and because of that we stopped taking with my biological siblings since i got married.

yemmit90:
At the junction, a smart man should have known from that statement that she has gotten a better man who is financing her life.

Don't die before your time, God actually loves you, reason she move on by herself.

Odafe360:
imagine till date no one has called or come over to here from me.... please bro, can we chat privately on WhatsApp? I'm really passing through hell right now.

yemmit90:
You have only one problem " Lack of self worth" as a result of extremely low self esteem.

All that is happening to you is very strange to me, the fact that non of her family members ever called whenever she left your house says alot about the way they see you.

Stop talking to that woman and completely cut her off from your life. You can be sending her certain amount to take care of your children every month. Pay their school fees directly to the school and visit them there whenever you want to see them.

I will also advise you to stay away from relationship and marriage for now until you become a man or build your self esteem.

Odafe360:
Hmmmm, I really appreciate your advise brother..... One thing that is really keeping me down right now is what will people say especially my neighbours. How do you think i should handle this? Cause I'm feeling ashame of facing my neighbours.

Odafe360:
Hmmmm, I really appreciate your advise brother..... One thing that is really keeping me down right now is what will people say especially my neighbours. How do you think i should handle this? Cause I'm feeling ashame of facing my neighbours.

Odafe360:
just imagine that even when i discovered about the paternity of the first child, none of her family took it as a big deal and nobody came to see me nor plead, not even the mother, the only call I received then was from one of her sister who called to insult me for sending her out of my house and said all manner of things to me.

Ganjafama:
Did you tell her sister why you sent her out of the house?

Odafe360:
Hmmmm, I really appreciate your advise brother..... One thing that is really keeping me down right now is what will people say especially my neighbours. How do you think i should handle this? Cause I'm feeling ashame of facing my neighbours.

frozen70:
You can't loose at both ends

You need your sibblings now and it's time to redress some issues

You can imagine, she knows that you are not in talking terms with your sibblings and she is also using that to deal with you by behaving like an agent of destruction

Find a way to reconcile with your sibblings, worst case they will mock you, but at the end you will reconcile with them

You are not there and you are not here

How do you want to live a satisfying life

Family is everything especially with your sibblings

If anything should happen to you to day, God forbid, your wife will never bring those kids to your family because already she is not with them

So, you can't handle that alone

Remove pride if you have any and go back to your siblings

frozen70:
Well sorry for this kind of embarrassment just because you choose to be a gentle man

At this point your wife will still do you things that will break your heart the more

So, go and inform your family or siblings of what she has done and will still do more because this is not the first time and is not the second time, that means she will do more

Just move on with your life and if possible Change your residence and move on, as it is now she is killing you slowly

How can you be training another man child yet no peace at home

When hunger deals with them she will look for you by then you are already busy and can't keep two relationships

She will take you to court or mediation centre, when you get there, open up

No human on earth has the power to deprive another person's happiness

Odafe360:
yes, i did... She is fully aware. Infact my wife told the sister right from time about it.

Wizywiz:
mama mia..where have thou been....merry Xmas in advance.....missed you

Odafe360:
I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?

Capernum:
Dear Op, sorry for your ill experience. Please do not feel bad that you forgave her the first time, it is a sign that you're a good person. It is not foolishness neither is it weakness. It is strength!

This time she packed out, what is the cause? Has there been any issue you haven't mentioned? That will equip me with the necessary information to advice you.

Meanwhile, I hope you have not been rubbing the first infidelity case on her face? If you have been doing such, you haven't forgiven her and the pain is enough for her to want a leave.

Please shed more light sir. I sense a spiritual undertone to this matter anyway.

Odafe360:
imagine till date no one has called or come over to here from me.... please bro, can we chat privately on WhatsApp? I'm really passing through hell right now.

Odafe360:
I've never rub the infidelity on her face, i forgave totally. Though from time to time, I feel the pain but never reminded her about it. When she packed out, there was no issue at all apart from when she threatened that she will leave because of a very trivial issue.

Capernum:
Alright sir. Please do not mind ky questions, what does the marital life of her siblings look like? Is her mum living alone or with her father? Do they have plenty divorcees in her family?

Odafe360:
My wife's mum is a widow.... my wife has 5 siblings, all of them are female.... Some of her siblings have children for different men while others are in their second marriages.

Odafe360:
I've never rub the infidelity on her face, i forgave totally. Though from time to time, I feel the pain but never reminded her about it. When she packed out, there was no issue at all apart from when she threatened that she will leave because of a very trivial issue.

Odafe360:
My wife's mum is a widow.... my wife has 5 siblings, all of them are female.... Some of her siblings have children for different men while others are in their second marriages.