₦airaland Forum

I wanted to create a new username to talk about this but .....F' it!

Sometimes last year I posted a topic about being married recently but my father n law has never being to my house. I received a lot of backlash

Fast-forward to 20months later since I married his daughter in full of which he gave his blessings HE STILL DOSENT KNOW MY HOUSE, INFACT I HAVENT SEEN OR HEARD HIS VOICE IN OVER A YEAR.
My wife ( his daughter) had to take my 3months old son to his house so he could see his grandson ( my wife's parent had 7 girls, no son...so this was special ) for the first time ever.

Tho both my wife parents are separated and now arch enemies, this is no yardstick for such behavior.

I personally don't care anymore, my wife isn't bothered about it ( unless she's shielding it inside). I jokingly tell her most times "... As your papa dash me, you ..."

Ps: we live in same city.
Ps: I used to turn up for both parents from overseas ( because I was a ✈️ worm back then ) during our dating days especially during festive seasons like this.

Extra note: my wife and I didn't get married until my first daughter was about 2 and until that marriage, I had never met her dad 😬 ( be like na me find trouble first 😁)
When I was ready to pay her price, I went to her dad who received me so graciously and gifted me drinks and money ... In his words, " I be dey vex 4 u but as you've come to do the right thing, I won't stress you, I forgive you" and he kept to his words, our marriage was literally discounted, even tho I was prepared but he and his brother ensured a smooth sailing


I find this embarrassing to discuss with my peers hence I like to read from experience of other married couples online

Wetin this one even dy talk self?.

E be like your father-in-law dey separated from you too.

Bro let me drop my own two cents.
You see I had the same story like yours lol.. it's funny when I read this and I feel moved to respond.

You see I married my wife 4 years ago she is the only daughter of her dad.

Her mom and dad are divorced and they live in the same state infact we all live in the same state all of us infact my wife's father used to live just 30mins drive max from where we live.

Now here is where it gets so so funny and I kid you not.
9 days after my wife and I got married, we found we having a baby we told my wife's mom and her dad.
My mother-in-law and I we are so chill that she now live just 5 houses away from where I live, she sold her house just to come live close to us.
I never met my father-in-law in person never did he met his grand daughter for once. She is now 3 years old and guess what. Three month after my daughters second birthday, my father-in-law passed away.

Now I knew it was his pride and he was just mad at me for no reason. On multiple occasions I have reached out to him wanting to come meet him or he should at least come see his granddaughter. He never did One day he just fell down and died and doctors said he had a heart attack.

Now he married a second wife as well. And when he died, she, his wife started talking to us (i.e my wife and I and my daughter) and she started telling us how sad my late father-in-law was and he wanted reaching out to us but his pride never let him to. Just this year two months ago his wife died too(may her soul rest in peace).

What I am trying to get to you about is this.. as long as you treat your wife and children right by you and God and make sure you try your best to keep your family safe and secure. Then don't give a Bleep what your father-in-law thinks or do. He can go kiss a donkeys ass for all I care.
If he don't want to be close to his family because weather he likes it or not you are now family and the family am talking about is YOU, YOUR WIFE AND KIDS. those are your family.
Father in-law can go hug a transformer na himself him dey do.
He is only getting old closer to his grave as the day goes by. And if he doesn't make good by his daughter and family now he will regret in his grave.
But I pray it doesn't come to that.

Tonididdyx:
I wanted to create a new username to talk about this but .....F' it!

Sometimes last year I posted a topic about being married recently but my father n law has never being to my house. I received a lot of backlash

Fast-forward to 20months later since I married his daughter in full of which he gave his blessings HE STILL DOSENT KNOW MY HOUSE, INFACT I HAVENT SEEN OR HEARD HIS VOICE IN OVER A YEAR.
My wife ( his daughter) had to take my 3months old son to his house so he could see his grandson ( my wife's parent had 7 girls, no son...so this was special ) for the first time ever.

Tho both my wife parents are separated and now arch enemies, this is no yardstick for such behavior.

I personally don't care anymore, my wife isn't bothered about it ( unless she's shielding it inside). I jokingly tell her most times "... As your papa dash me, you ..."

Ps: we live in same city.
Ps: I used to turn up for both parents from overseas ( because I was a ✈️ worm back then ) during our dating days especially during festive seasons like this.

Extra note: my wife and I didn't get married until my first daughter was about 2 and until that marriage, I had never met her dad 😬 ( be like na me find trouble first 😁)
When I was ready to pay her price, I went to her dad who received me so graciously and gifted me drinks and money ... In his words, " I be dey vex 4 u but as you've come to do the right thing, I won't stress you, I forgive you" and he kept to his words, our marriage was literally discounted, even tho I was prepared but he and his brother ensured a smooth sailing


I find this embarrassing to discuss with my peers hence I like to read from experience of other married couples online

Infotubia9ja:
Bro let me drop my own two cents.
You see I had the same story like yours lol.. it's funny when I read this and I feel moved to respond.

You see I married my wife 4 years ago she is the only daughter of her dad.

Her mom and dad are divorced and they live in the same state infact we all live in the same state all of us infact my wife's father used to live just 30mins drive max from where we live.

Now here is where it gets so so funny and I kid you not.
9 days after my wife and I got married, we found we having a baby we told my wife's mom and her dad.
My mother-in-law and I we are so chill that she now live just 5 houses away from where I live, she sold her house just to come live close to us.
I never met my father-in-law in person never did he met his grand daughter for once. She is now 3 years old and guess what. Three month after my daughters second birthday, my father-in-law passed away.

Now I knew it was his pride and he was just mad at me for no reason. On multiple occasions I have reached out to him wanting to come meet him or he should at least come see his granddaughter. He never did One day he just fell down and died and doctors said he had a heart attack.

Now he married a second wife as well. And when he died, she, his wife started talking to us (i.e my wife and I and my daughter) and she started telling us how sad my late father-in-law was and he wanted reaching out to us but his pride never let him to. Just this year two months ago his wife died too(may her soul rest in peace).

What I am trying to get to you about is this.. as long as you treat your wife and children right by you and God and make sure you try your best to keep your family safe and secure. Then don't give a Bleep what your father-in-law thinks or do. He can go kiss a donkeys ass for all I care.
If he don't want to be close to his family because weather he likes it or not you are now family and the family am talking about is YOU, YOUR WIFE AND KIDS. those are your family.
Father in-law can go hug a transformer na himself him dey do.
He is only getting old closer to his grave as the day goes by. And if he doesn't make good by his daughter and family now he will regret in his grave.
But I pray it doesn't come to that.

Oh I see.
He thinks am lavishing on his ex wife and feels too proud to come closer so I can also lavish on him.
Oh so sad to burst his thought bubble!, as this is not the case.

Nevertheless because our inlaws family setup are so familiar, there's a tiny bit of possibility that's where the problems birthed.
( There's no way on earth I wouldn't be ' maybe not a pest' on my son n laws home)

Tonididdyx:
I wanted to create a new username to talk about this but .....F' it!

Sometimes last year I posted a topic about being married recently but my father n law has never being to my house. I received a lot of backlash

Fast-forward to 20months later since I married his daughter in full of which he gave his blessings HE STILL DOSENT KNOW MY HOUSE, INFACT I HAVENT SEEN OR HEARD HIS VOICE IN OVER A YEAR.
My wife ( his daughter) had to take my 3months old son to his house so he could see his grandson ( my wife's parent had 7 girls, no son...so this was special ) for the first time ever.

Tho both my wife parents are separated and now arch enemies, this is no yardstick for such behavior.

I personally don't care anymore, my wife isn't bothered about it ( unless she's shielding it inside). I jokingly tell her most times "... As your papa dash me, you ..."

Ps: we live in same city.
Ps: I used to turn up for both parents from overseas ( because I was a ✈️ worm back then ) during our dating days especially during festive seasons like this.

Extra note: my wife and I didn't get married until my first daughter was about 2 and until that marriage, I had never met her dad 😬 ( be like na me find trouble first 😁)
When I was ready to pay her price, I went to her dad who received me so graciously and gifted me drinks and money ... In his words, " I be dey vex 4 u but as you've come to do the right thing, I won't stress you, I forgive you" and he kept to his words, our marriage was literally discounted, even tho I was prepared but he and his brother ensured a smooth sailing


I find this embarrassing to discuss with my peers hence I like to read from experience of other married couples online

They were already separated before you came in their family and that shouldn't bother you as you don't know why they are complacent that way

I think you shoude just keep up your good relationships with your father inlaw separately and keep that of your mother inlaw separately

Whatever you have for him give him and whatever you have for the other, give her

If you think you have the strength to reconcile them, then be prepared to tackle is and keep being their for them

But left for me let them be the way it is and do call him when you are free to do so, if you want to invite him to your house, you can do so get his approval and let him spend some times with you guys, but subject to your wife approval and if she refuses, forget about it

Just make sure you build your home with your wife that, you don't find yourself in that situation

frozen70:
They were already separated before you came in their family and that shouldn't bother you as you don't know why they are complacent that way

I think you shoude just keep up your good relationships with your father inlaw separately and keep that of your mother inlaw separately

Whatever you have for him give him and whatever you have for the other, give her

If you think you have the strength to reconcile them, then be prepared to tackle is and keep being their for them

But left for me let them be the way it is and do call him when you are free to do so, if you want to invite him to your house, you can do so get his approval and let him spend some times with you guys, but subject to your wife approval and if she refuses, forget about it

Just make sure you build your home with your wife that, you don't find yourself in that situation

Am not trying to reconcile her parents, I wouldn't even dare.
These days I look at it as a win-win

Tonididdyx:
Am not trying to reconcile her parents, I wouldn't even dare.
These days I look at it as a win-win

Good