₦airaland Forum

parkervero:
➜Hmm

okerekingsley90:
I won't engage you. waste of my time

vincenteger:
....... even at the point of death. I just hope you buried yourself when you die.

MaiDeribe:
You better not. Have some online manners
Even if your parents didn't teach you.
Take time and learn how to be civil.
I am sure you never got the admission to UNN.
All the UNN graduates i know are civil, well mannered people.
Otimkpu

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

okerekingsley90:
You and that individual you quoted are unbelievable. Jumping into conclusions without concrete evidences how you know say na because him Don make small money he come de get issues with him family?

Day169:
➜Why then are you bringing it to the forum if your mind is made up even to the point of death?

papyjaypaul:
It is possible to have a family without involving other people. Our soldiers went to Liberia and Sierra Leone and they had women who gave birth to them. We have men who had another family and it was on the burial date that the other woman with her kids came. So it is possible.

Your question may be due to the family problems you have but you can try to tell us more about it. The worst that will happen is that they know you exist but not connected to you. We have cousins who don't talk to each other because the parents cut off the ties or they have beef. But guess what? The cousins did not care about it, they said they are not inheriting beef that's not their own. It is just the way we had tribalism by our parents and they said don't marry someone from this or that side. The kids don't care about that!

It shows that all we are today is what we have been brainwashed with. If you are good, you will do good.

Family is the only people that care about you when you die. That's life for you. Who will be affected by this decision to cut off family?

1. Your wife: As a man, I always advise women to never be with a man who doesn't have anyone he revers. That guy will kill you without thinking 2x. He has no one to parent him or counsel him. This was the role of the elders in the past. Women are vulnerable when it comes to marriage. Such a man's power will notbe checked because he will believe he is alpha and omega.

2. Your kids: are you seeing those DNA stories coming out? Our elders were not dumb when they insisted that marriage was between 2 families. They had to investigate the other side to be sure that it is not the prodigal son coming back to take their daughter or vice versa where siblings are getting married. Your kids will only see their ancestry on paper. As a man, one of the things men want to leave behind is a legacy. Your kids will see life the way you project life to them. Your actions will be what will make them see the need for marriage or not. Why do I need my dad when my dad cut off his dad? Leadership by example sir

3. Your legacy: I can't write too much here but let me tell you something that happens to men who didn't know their dads. They will go find the man at a point in time. There is something missing in their lives. Men at a point in time will start setting up the way they want to leave this world. Trust me, it will come when you start having kids. Men are builders and there is something in them that makes them interested in structure.

4. You: I am not in any way trying to convince you. I am just having an adult discussion with you. Your last line reminds me of someone I know like you. Men go through stress and they set boundaries but I think you need therapy to go through this. Why? Because adults go into marriages with unresolved baggages. It is when they live with others they start to see it. Now, this my friend was not like you but i saw the signs. He couldn't handle conflict. I saw how he'll tell his family and his in-laws off just because they were overstepping their boundaries. I told him then that these things are expected, they are people and manage conflicts. Instead, he shut them down. People like this only need to look into the mirror, they think it's about others all the time. Sometimes, it's also them too. They can't manage conflict and this world is about conflict, we have to find a way to face it and deal with it.

Zackattack:
Oga settle with your parents. Forgive them and move on.
If you nor fit forgive your parents for this life, who you wan forgive?
I’m not even concern about the issue that led to your annoyance.
Forgive them and you will be doing yourself a favor.

Sp1ritHusband:
I did. I got to work in the morning, had her come to meet me at work and we drove to the registry in the company's official car and within two hours, we left with a brand new marriage certificate and voile!, I was a brand new husband.

My mom was not very happy as the favorite child and in hindsight, would not have married when I did as I was barely coming out of my teen at the time. I was around 22, worked in a multinational with lots of cash to burn, and to be frank with you, I desperately wanted to have sex. I grew up in the church and It was a big sin before the wedding. I would have waited and listened to my parents and other family members, when you are in love/lust, you seldom think rationally and are susceptible to mistakes. I should have waited more than 10 years more, there is no rush in marriage, it is a journey and not a destination, I should have explored more.

I will repeat for the sake of emphasis, MARRIAGE IS A JOURNEY AND NOT A DESTINATION! A long journey that will determine how the rest of your life will turn out.

Legally, you only need witnesses to be married but there may be other important considerations too.

My two cents.
How did the marriage turn out ?

YoungLionken:
No, don't cut off totally. Them nor dey use as body take scratch person take dey scratch am, or else you go bleed..

In as much as some families are some kind, don't live a life of seclusion. You know why, they will suffer your kids and your wife (especially her) when you're gone. They will tag her a "bad wife" falsely accusing her of keeping you away from them. Let's not even talk about your inheritance that the so called kinsmen will convert to theirs as compensation. Legal will? Well, except your kinsmen are not diabolic (it is not as if you would know anyway), or else it is your kids and wife that would run for their lives, leaving inheritance behind. Based on live experience brother, don't or else your children and wife go hear ween for their hand during your interment at old age (by God's grace)...

parkervero:
What will be those things to regret?

okerekingsley90:
You derailed a meaningful thread by saying "hmmm". Why didn't you contribute meaningfully speaking of being an Old one now right ? Old fucker

Stevenbright:
➜Just know that your wife will surely use it against you. There will be nobody to watch your back against her excesses and actions towards you.
There was a news early this year of a man from delta state who migrated to Lagos state, cutoff all his family back home, got married to a woman from another state with home he had children. When he was sick, she brought him to UBTH a teaching hospital in Benin, Edo state and abandoned him there. Went back to Lagos and move out of their house with the children to an unknown location.

Kobojunkie:
All these half-baked tales ehn... 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

So what happened next? Did the man say at that point that he regretted cutting off from his family? Did he say his wife is to blame for abandoning him in his illness?🤔

Stevenbright:
➜You make too much assumptions. This is not a tale. I am based in Benin city and it was the UBTH teaching hospital that went on air on both on radio and television asking for the help of anyone who can help locate the family of the man in delta state and also narrated how his wife brought him and pretended to go go out to buy something the next day. And have since not come back while the hospital have been the one taking care of the man for over six months.

parkervero:
I want to ask if there is any married men in here who have formed their own families without involving their family members (mother, father, and siblings).

Is there any consequences for not involving family members?

I don't want to involve any of my family members in any of my affairs including the time of difficulty, sickness, even to the point of my death.

I want to stay on my own till eternity

Ashirioluwa:
➜Your choice. Each man has his own decision to make, and I believe you are more familiar with your family than we are.

TossTos:
➜Let me follow one yourba adage that say " don't forsake home " .. it means do not do away from your family . As much as you mustn't take everything that'll happen to them so also don't let them be deaf to things they need to know about you .. you will just know how to go about .. not everything that happened to you , you tell people about ..
➜Decision is always yours ..

parkervero:
I want to ask if there is any married men in here who have formed their own families without involving their family members (mother, father, and siblings).

Is there any consequences for not involving family members?

I don't want to involve any of my family members in any of my affairs including the time of difficulty, sickness, even to the point of my death.

I want to stay on my own till eternity

Zackattack:
Personally, I don’t want to have anything to do with your kind. There’s no excuse for this your behavior towards your parents.
Remember say clock dey tick.

okerekingsley90:
You are right 100% but it is not always easy as you think

parkervero:
I want to ask if there is any married men in here who have formed their own families without involving their family members (mother, father, and siblings).

Is there any consequences for not involving family members?

I don't want to involve any of my family members in any of my affairs including the time of difficulty, sickness, even to the point of my death.

I want to stay on my own till eternity

parkervero:
I want to ask if there is any married men in here who have formed their own families without involving their family members (mother, father, and siblings).

Is there any consequences for not involving family members?

I don't want to involve any of my family members in any of my affairs including the time of difficulty, sickness, even to the point of my death.

I want to stay on my own till eternity