₦airaland Forum

2special:
At least build the relationship with your siblings then

they were told to treat me with animosity or face fire, no one wants to face fire so they had to treat me with animosity.

SoftSport:
I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. From what you've shared, it's clear that your environment is deeply harmful, and wanting to leave makes complete sense. Protecting your peace and well-being should come first, especially when you're surrounded by hostility and negativity.

If you're planning to move, it’s important to approach it carefully. Try to save up as much as you can before leaving so you have something to fall back on. Think about where you’d like to go and choose a place where you see the most opportunities for growth. Finding a stable place to stay, even if it’s shared housing, will help you settle in smoothly.

Once you’ve left, focus on your goals. Building a new life is hard, but if you channel all your energy into your training and personal development, it’ll pay off in time. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you, even if they’re not blood relatives. Friends, mentors, and colleagues can become the supportive family you need right now.

As for your father and the toxic environment at home, it’s understandable that you want to cut ties. His negativity doesn’t define you or determine your future. Leaving could give you the mental space to focus on healing and proving to yourself that you can succeed. At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge the grief you’re feeling after losing your mum and being isolated by your family. Finding peace through faith, reflection, or even talking to someone you trust can help lighten that burden over time.

If you feel your father’s actions are spiritually or emotionally dangerous, take measures to protect yourself based on your beliefs. Stay grounded in what brings you strength and peace. By stepping away, you’re giving yourself the chance to grow in an environment that isn’t suffocating you. Every small step forward is progress, and over time, you’ll see how far you’ve come.

You deserve a life filled with peace, purpose, and success. Leaving might be the first step toward creating that for yourself.

thank you.

L1TTLE:
they were told to treat me with animosity or face fire, no one wants to face fire so they had to treat me with animosity.

how about your extended family

2special:
how about your extended family

They are actually his step siblings, most of them are in foreign countries and they don't care about everyone in Nigeria, infact they never send anything home so I'm not familiar with them, as for my mother's side they're few surviving siblings, but they're not well to do, infact na them go expect you to help them with something, plus his siblings are not in good terms with him and the ones that are in good terms with him are scared of him.

Namaster:
First of all, your story needs more BACKGROUND.

Like what is the nature of the DISPUTE that fractured your family in such a way that MOST of your siblings took the side of your father, who sounds like a TERRIBLE person?

Next, be STRATEGIC before you leave.

Make plans on how to SUSTAIN yourself in light of the fact that you'd now be spending on your ACCOMODATION.

Plan in such a way that NOTHING brings you crawling back to your father in the future.

Live like an ORPHAN.

ANY father who lay ATOMIC curses on his own son like your father did to you is NOT worthy to be called a father.

He's DEAD to you!

Well what caused this whole issue is his personality, he use to come home drunk and beat her to stupor when I was little, and I just watched helplessly until I grew up and started standing up to him to a point we had an altercation and I almost did the same to him, he stopped supporting her financially and otherwise, he prefers taking care of his concubines and whatever he does with his money, but I made sure my mum didn't lack and that annoyed him more, he said I am challenging him by feeding my mom and clothing her and I'm acting like I'm her husband, he threatened to cut my siblings off of they do the same, so they obeyed and he had them in his grip but I kept defying him until my mum died, she was okay in the morning and suddenly died from a headache in the evening by 10pm even though I rushed her to the hospital and she was admitted for almost six hours before she died, when she died he rubbed my nose in it and said I should carry my cross that I'm her husband not him, that's story for another day, after the burial none of them talks to me anymore, it used to be me and my mom now it's just me, and they're all facing me, so it's just me against all of them now, and they completely iced me out.

L1TTLE:
✓ First off, I don't care about his roof, I prefer sleeping in the streets to his roof whatever it is, second yes I was fending for myself and my mum and I still am, If you actually read my post it's not a cry of struggling to survive because he cut me off, it's about getting away from him and making sure he never sets his eyes on me again, so roof or no roof I don't care, I pray you don't meet someone this evil, because you'd be damaged for life.

These are not things people should pray about because reality is that over 25% of the population in Nigeria as is either experienced or are right as we speak experiencing something similar. 🥱😂🥱🥱🥱

I understand your confidence that you can do without. As I said, I don't know how old you are or your financial situation so it is not easy to suggest you leave at this time. For all I know I may be talking to a minor. All the same, just wanting you to realize that not the vast majority of those who left before they could stand are, many years later, still trying to find their footing. As of 2022, there were over 25 million homeless Nigeria. That number has since ballooned in the last 18 months and is likely to continue rising for the next couple of years. 🤔

Again, i am only trying to make certain you look at the big picture here as you make your next move.

Kobojunkie:
These are not things people should pray about because reality is that over 25% of the population in Nigeria as is either experienced or are right as we speak experiencing something similar. 🥱😂🥱🥱🥱

I understand your confidence that you can do without. As I said, I don't know how old you are or your financial situation so it is not easy to suggest you leave at this time. For all I know I may be talking to a minor. All the same, just wanting you to realize that not the vast majority of those who left before they could stand are, many years later, still trying to find their footing. As of 2022, there were over 25 million homeless Nigeria. That number has since ballooned in the last 18 months and is likely to continue rising for the next couple of years. 🤔

Again, i am only trying to make certain you look at the big picture here as you make your next move.

I am an adult, but being homeless is something I am prepared to face if it's inevitable but like I said I was fending for myself and my mom in every way, the only difference is the rent, I think I can pay rent, I just have to find a not so expensive one.

L1TTLE:
I really appreciate your input. Yes I can design websites with website builders like elementor but that's just the limit of what I know, I don't have anything to fall back on, just the will to survive at all cost because they're waiting for me to die as well, I'd appreciate if you can teach me, I'm ready to learn whatever it is to support myself, thanks in advance.

chatinent@gmail.com

Oh my God. He sounds horrible tbh but im more surprised by your siblings cos i'll have expected them to call him out on his bull or at least stand up for you.

However, you own your future and should take ownership for your happiness. If he refuses to own his shit like beating up a pregnant woman and blames an innocent unborn baby, thats his loss, walahhi and you have to decide to survive him and thrive.

Cos you say hes diabolical, u need to give your life to Christ and live holy. Break all curses and I typically recommend attending a Deliverance Session at MFM. Focus on your self improvement. The best revenge will always be success!

L1TTLE:
biological, he once told me that before I was born he hated me, I didn't understand how you could hate an unborn child so I asked my mom what he meant and she said her pregnancy with me was one of the most difficult times she experienced as they was so much challenge back then, he used to beat her up even though she was pregnant, until I grew up and he saw I'm now capable of beating him up as well so he stopped using her as a punching bag, so it didn't start today, but yes he's my biological dad.

Make peace while you still can..

Wealthoptulent:
Ti omo bati le da gbe inugbo, ati dete ki shey ogun.. (IF A KID IN NOT SCARED TO LIVE IN BUSH, LEPROSY IS NOT a DISEASE) sice u fending for ursef alone already, dont lose completely cut him off, its a WIN WIN tin... but first"ARE YOU DOING THE RIGHT THING?" did u WEDGE behind TRUTH when u THREW ur WEIGHT behind ur MUM? Marital matter no be wetin children delve into but only when u completey know, seen the TRUTH not HEARSAY or TALES read like night stories to bed

ojo ale ni baba omo yi ma mo wipe itoju omo se koko..

Wealthoptulent:
Ti omo bati le da gbe inugbo, ati dete ki shey ogun.. (IF A KID IN NOT SCARED TO LIVE IN BUSH, LEPROSY IS NOT a DISEASE) sice u fending for ursef alone already, dont lose completely cut him off, its a WIN WIN tin... but first"ARE YOU DOING THE RIGHT THING?" did u WEDGE behind TRUTH when u THREW ur WEIGHT behind ur MUM? Marital matter no be wetin children delve into but only when u completey know, seen the TRUTH not HEARSAY or TALES read like night stories to bed.

hmm u are right but not all cases. World where I live today, we already planing our retirement, we continued to get paid by both my pensions Trust n government, I contribute 6% monthly, my Employee which according to National Uni Commission contributes 21% monthly =26% , when i retire Government add theirs (thousand of £).. so we only pray make children add theirs, but trust me if "NOT" we living Good till death. So u see it's a rare Case now.

NOT in Nigeria though. 90% of aged parents depends on their children

L1TTLE:
➜I am an adult, but being homeless is something I am prepared to face if it's inevitable
➜but like I said I was fending for myself and my mom in every way, the only difference is the rent, I think I can pay rent, I just have to find a not so expensive one.

1. Regardless, getting out of homelessness is the major issue here! For millions of Nigerians, it has become an insurmountable mountain with the cost of living rising faster than their capability to find and maintain employment enough to help them save up.

2. Proceed with caution!

L1TTLE:
The reason he's saying this is because he thinks life revolves around having a roof over your head, but at this point I don't care if I sleep under a bridge as long as I'm safe, my siblings who are backing him are afraid of loosing the roof over their heads, they're also scared of being cut off like he cut me off so they witness his injustice and keep mute, I'm the only one resisting him and that's why I'm an outsider, he will also stop paying their school fee if they stand up to him so I can't really blame them, and if you're his minion you must hate whoever he hates even if you don't have personal problems with the person, if you don't follow him to hate the person he will cut you off.

I have been suffering such fate in my place of work, for time immemorial.

But mind you... What God cannot do does not exist!

If people staying at under bridge, ghetto and parks find love among the people who aren't their families to point of 5 people sharing a little bottle of gin.Move out of there find love, peace and rest of mind else where.