₦airaland Forum

Na lie, this story Na lie if Na true, You nor be man be that.

Ijaya123:
She went to visit her ex and she's still in your house?

No mind the efulefu. He even still calls her a wife! Una wey dem no cook done, una go suffer tire! Las las, na Yaba left una go land put

Start sleeping in a separate room and give them time to bond ... Some women like to learn the hard way cus am sure dapo just wanna Bleep an old pussy because I'm def sure dapo is also married ... So leave them and let them rekindle and if it goes well good for her and if it doesn't then let her learn the hard way and when she is sober ... You can start your own

Sapasenator:
If she disobeys, what do I do. I don't want my child to grow in a broken home. Thanks

if you don't want your child to grow in a broken home, he will grow with a step father after you are gone
QUIT THAT MARRIAGE FOR YOUR FUTURE

immortalcrown:
This childish part is very unnecessary and even makes you story appear fictional. How can a Yoruba lady who has had two Yoruba husbands give her child an Igbo name? We know you don't want to be traced. So, don't bother telling us your names and making a fool of yourself by saying that your son's name is Jidenna. You are a Yoruba, your wife is a Yoruba, her former husband is a Yoruba, so what inspired the Igbo name for your child?

I wonder the colour of the blanket and how many rounds they went.

You can't win the battle. You fighting her can only make her to become more secretive that you will no longer find out anything going on between her and her ex.

Excellent.

YES. Unless you are willing to have a co husband.

Don't mind the stupid flat headed guy who is ashamed to mention his accestors but quick to name his son the person igbo name🦐🤣🤣🤣🤣 let him re write the story I know everything even happen in Agwulu city..

Seriously, you missed it.To start with why should a young man in his right sense would go for a divorce as wife?Biblically, it is wrong. You have sinned against God with that singular action.God hate being put away. In fact you have been committing adultery all the while. Just let the woman go back to her husband. You're 'olojukokoro' Something glue you to the woman,if you must be sincere.From your narrative, 'the ex of my wife is back' Truth must be told this is why you do not have the courage to confront her.You're a wife snatcher.If you're a christian, l will suggest you go back to Calvary for forgiveness and seek His face for His will in marriage, your rightful wife is waiting for you. Shikena!

It's Hard for the Love Smitten To Say Their Goodbyes

Just drop her like a discarded or rejected proposal. Her heart is set on her ex. You'll become a fodder for her emotional experiments. She'll not want u to go in case her ex misbehsves. In this light, you'll become Mr Available, a simp at best.

She's a red flag, just like most women, they ate loyal to their caprices- no logic or deep reasoning.

EmperorCaesar:


He's in for a long duel and the game is rigged against him. He started at halftime when the woman was leading 0-1

Whatever he choose to do wont work as they are sure gonna F

He should tell his son this story and advice him not to marry a divorcee or single mom in the future

He's sure to lose out here. Accept your defeat in advance like a man

Exactly, if it were to be me . I take my leave

Sapasenator:
Calm down, I think I can still get her to come to her senses. We loved each other once.

Walk away for now, then in like 10 years when you're the ex, you reappear and start reconnecting with her again and Reminiscing. Then you win her back the same way the current ex is doing

Sapasenator:
Calm down, I think I can still get her to come to her senses. We loved each other once.

See this one ... Them dey tell you fact you wan dey clinch... Your eye go peel

trium:
Why will you fight Dapo? We are not like animals who fight to inherit females. Tell her to go meet him if her heart is there. Never fight for something you can't see. PEOPLE needreality check, let her see if that fantasy will be a reality she likes but tell her it won't be under your roof she tests waters.

Gbayiii

Lol.people way don dey Bleep... behind you....kick her out far away

trium:
Why will you fight Dapo? We are not like animals who fight to inherit females. Tell her to go meet him if her heart is there. Never fight for something you can't see. PEOPLE needreality check, let her see if that fantasy will be a reality she likes but tell her it won't be under your roof she tests waters.

Best comment I read so far

Sapasenator:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

It's a lost battle.

Old wild passions ignited.

May be you are not spontaneous as the ex.

Take a bold step.

Give your attention to another woman. Let her compete for your time and attention.

If that doesn't work, walk away to save your sanity.

The best thing to do is to giver her space. All the while she was with you, she missed her ex secretly.

He was all way on her mind prior to that eventual meeting.

It's not easy. You are the only one in love.

She was to heal when you guys met and got married

You have the best friend in Tunde, his advice is one of the best you can ever get. Don't make mistakes your elders made in the past. Once a woman is checked out emotionally, let her go. EQD

Walk away quietly. Face your life and move on.

So pe o ti lo.

Sapasenator:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

you be fool

Ishilove:

better go to https://seules.fr for free dating lol

seules:
better go to https://seules.fr for free dating lol

Nope, I'm good

Sapasenator:
If she disobeys, what do I do. I don't want my child to grow in a broken home. Thanks

Mark my words, especially the capitalized, and even more especially the hope I expressed in the end. SOMETIMES, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about your child, precious as they are to you, having to be raised "in a broken home". I pray that you make the right decision for the good of all concerned, especially your son annd yourself. Best regards.

Sapasenator:
If she disobeys, what do I do. I don't want my child to grow in a broken home. Thanks

If she disobey after telling her to stop making contact with her ex.. Then it time to let her go bro..

Sometimes I wish I knew u before I would have advice u never to marry a devocee..

EmperorCaesar:


He's in for a long duel and the game is rigged against him. He started at halftime when the woman was leading 0-1

Whatever he choose to do wont work as they are sure gonna F

He should tell his son this story and advice him not to marry a divorcee or single mom in the future

He's sure to lose out here. Accept your defeat in advance like a man

He also needs a dna test asap

Dogalmighty17:
Is this something that actually happened? I hate wasting advice on fables. But let me indulge you all the same.

Number 1, you are a fool and a weak man. Your wife is regularly in contact with her ex and she makes light of it and you are here asking what to do? Should we also look forward to the day you will ask us what name to give the bastard child she will bring to the marriage? Are you okay?

She is flirting with another man right there in your own home and you are at a loss on what to do. Where is your self respect and dignity?

Kick that bit(c)h to the streets where she belongs and let catch up with her ex there. Young man, they are playing you for a fool and a weakling.

Don't mind OP,, I believe d wife is d one running d hux. She has funds more dan OP, and as such, his hands are tied.... Cos I can't believe a man who is in charge of his home is spewing dis trash....

Sapasenator:
Calm down bro. I need advice from the elders.

Then no dey advice mumu

OP, you are destined to cry. You destiny is not a happy one. Pain is in your soul. Is so unfortunate for you.


WHY WOULD YOU MARRY A DIVORCEE?

WE KEPT SAYING IT HERE THAT YOU SHOULD FVCK ANY GIRL YOU WANT BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE, FIND A VIRGIN. ONLY HER CAN GUARANTEE YOU A PEACEFUL HAPPY LASTING HOPE YOU CAN RETURN TO AFTER WORK.

You didn't listen, now look at your miserable life!

My advice: Tell her to stop talking to him from the moment you read this my comment or pack out of your house.
If she refuses or you caught her talking to him again, tell her it's over!
If you cannot do what I advised, you are 40 year old pullish man.

Sapasenator:
If she disobeys, what do I do. I don't want my child to grow in a broken home. Thanks

The above response shows you are seriously confused. So, you don't know what to do if she disobeys. You r in serious trouble oh!

Obviouslyblunt:
you as her ex, you’ll just catch up with her, smile teeth and then bid her farewell. Exes, especially divorcees don’t catchup after a divorce, there is always a bitter rift between them. One who catches up with her ex, still has feelings for him.

yes it happens like that most times for me ... Just one random " hi, how are you" and it all end there .

Sapasenator:
Calm down bro. I need advice from the elders.

Run for your own good

Na to answer papa for another pikib remain

Mom007:
Forbid her from going to see that man and from chatting with him. If she disobey you, there u have your answer.

shout on ur voice with rage and anger when telling her this sha o... if after that she still shat with him. Then u get ur answer... but since u said she has already went to meet him, infact u already got ur answer. Abi how do u feel if the taught about the possibility of another man have nack ur wife.

Fiscus105:
Let me repeat what I said about a story, similar to this few weeks ago here.

If you married a single mother, which her husband is still much alive, just know you are into a polyandry instead of monogamous marriage........fact 1.

If husband still struggling to separate ordinary ex without kid from wife, how much more relationship that involves kids. communication, collecting gifts/things and even visiting, these are the things you can't stop single mother not to do with ex husband.

I have witnessed countless of such cases, where ex wife, who is now married to another husband,in which exes still sleeping with them.

One thing I studied about woman is,... any man that succeeded in sleeping with them before, no matter how the relationship ended, couples with the present status of the woman,(maritaly or financially) , ex can still come back to her life,thou, if such ex knows how to play his game very well. fact 2. more reason why husband shouldn't be totally left wife by way of monitoring, once in awhile.(woman won't know, when she mess herself in the hands of ex. .......fact 3

And vice versa..
If as a woman,you decide to marry a man who already has a child/children with another woman...be ready..As long as that woman is alive,even if she is married to another man,there are huge chances that the ex (your own husband) wil still fvck her.

It's the law of nature.

Reason why I swore NEVER to have any business with a single father..I avoided them like plagues.
There was a guy I was friendly with.
Just talking stage,I found out her had a 10 year old son.
I just ghosted him..and never asked him about it.
We ran into each other few years later after I had gotten married,I pretended I didn't know him.
He was stunned!

Fiscus105:
You are taking from own perspective and how women dealt with you in the past and not general perspective,...... EVERY HUMAN BEING DO LOVE & HATE

And a woman will get married to someone she hates and even bear children for him? Ndi perspective

spiceadole:
And vice versa..
If as a woman,you decide to marry a man who already has a child/children with another woman...be ready..As long as that woman is alive,even if she is married to another man,there are huge chances that the ex (your own husband) wil still fvck her.

It's the law of nature.

Reason why I swore NEVER to have any business with a single father..I avoided them like plagues.
There was a guy I was friendly with.
Just talking stage,I found out her had a 10 year old son.
I just ghosted him..and never asked him about it.
We ran into each other few years later after I had gotten married,I pretended I didn't know him.
He was stunned!

There is nothing like single father. You can call him baby daddy or divorcee.

Sapasenator:
If she disobeys, what do I do. I don't want my child to grow in a broken home. Thanks

sissy ...u don't want ur child to grow in a broken home....wat could be more broken than a useless woman trying to have an extra marital affair with his ex.....