₦airaland Forum

efemena5050:
sissy ...u don't want ur child to grow in a broken home....wat could be more broken than a useless woman trying to have an extra marital affair with his ex.....

But I love this woman so much.

Ouchbabe:
The thing taya me oo.
I was hoping to see "copied" but the guy man was claiming the story is his

I swear down. Wonders shall never end. A generation where our men dey tie wrapper and tell tales by moonlight and the women dey wear the trouser. Tufiakwa.

Sapasenator:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

You are writing long epistle, if it were to be me, i wouldn't take this sh!t.

Sapasenator:
Calm down bro. I need advice from the elders.

Search for this group on telegram: IAJ Daily (group) and ask your questions there. You'll get to receive advise from real men.

Bring in all the families. Yours and hers. Let the In-Laws talk to her and forbid her from making contact with him. That is the final straw. If she disobeys, then it's time to throw in the towel. You cannot save a beast that does not want saving.

As for not wanting Junior to grow in a broken home, it's not your call. His Mum played the hoe. Junior will understand.

She isn't wise to go back to someone that mistreated her. Now she's looking attractive because she belongs to another, the ex is not footing her bills, how sweet it will be to just sleep with her and come and go. Mirage love. Untested love.

She should reason, when she had a life with this man, how did he act? She already read the book and knows the ending, but it seems she wants to experience it again. How can you leave the angel you know for the devil wey you know WELL WELL?

She's supposed to cut off from him the minute he starts trying to bring back memories, have long conversations, or any deep personal talk.

[qyou are not ok,if she loves you as you claimed, she wont be chatting with her ex...finish
Hyst forget her and move along,but mark my words she will be used and dump by her ex afain and she will come running back to you as an Auxiliary uote author=Sapasenator post=133509104]

Calm down, I think I can still get her to come to her senses. We loved each other once.[/quote]

Sapasenator:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

It seems you are waiting for her to cheat before you take action

Dshocker:
You are writing long epistle, if it were to be me, i wouldn't take this sh!t.

Have you ever being in true love?

I love this babe die and do not want to lose her. I have reported her to our pastor and we have a meeting this Sunday.

New update, I scheduled a meeting with my wife's ex, I am planning to beg him to leave my wife alone. Iove this lady so much kai!

Medici777:
you be fool

Why?

that’s inevitable event na
If to say women head generally correct ni (just few amongst them thinks right tho), them go no say all the yeye mixed feelings she been getting now, once the guy gives her enough fuvk n all, attitude would start and the same guy would start getting tired of her wey go make her go back to square one on a long run

efikoefiko:
Just walk away brother. She has made her choice and trust me Dapo will dump her again.

efemena5050:
sissy ...u don't want ur child to grow in a broken home....wat could be more broken than a useless woman trying to have an extra marital affair with his ex.....

Calm down bros. It was not me but one of my village friend.. hehehehe.