₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
I always thought dowry is what is paid for the groom, as in India. But going by your explanation - dowry in my ppace is what we call IDU ULO.

This is a misconception. Giving the man money by the family of the bride happens because in the old days, people marry while very young and like Northern Nigeria where the bride's father gives the couple furniture etc, the bride's family gives the couple money and gifts to have a head start in life. Note that the groom's family also give to them as it is assumed that they are just starting out and don't have much.

This practice is not illegal in India though

Noted.

Still confusing

Magnetic010:
Southern Nigerian girls and their families will close their ears to this.....If they had their way both bride price and dowry would be paid to the bride's family and the man should be so thankful they even allowed him marry their angelic virgin of a daughter.

The Practice of dowry is also done in southern Nigeria.
Lots of women give their daughters gifts as present when she gets married

is not true bride price is given to your wife publicly when on stage especially in Islamic line while dowry is given to your bride family inform of tradition

Mynd44:
I have heard Nigerians use "bride Price" and "Dowry" interchangeably and they seem to think they are the same. People just assume the bride price is the dowry or that they mean the same thing but this is a wrong assumption.

I knew this in Social Studies when I was in Primary 5 and it shocks me when people who I think went to school around the same time (not the current era where I don't understand the curriculum) make the same mistake. Perhaps people just think because they are both possessions and gifts exchanged around the time of a wedding they mean the same but nah. They are very distinct things.

So here is the major difference



From the definition above

1. Bride Price is given to the family of the bride by the groom and/or his family and this is mostly set by the Bride's Family.

2. Dowry is the property or money given to the bride by her family when she marries and she takes these things to her marital home.

In some cultures, Dowries cannot be sold by the couple as it is wealth that passes through only the female line so only the bride's daughter can inherit them. Thats why you see where some families have jewelry that their great grandmother used and a female descendant still wears it. It can even be shares of a company etc.

There has been cases in India and Northern Nigeria called "Dowry theft" in these cases, they grooms family (mostly committed by the groom's family) tries to convert the properties of the bride and steal them. I know India had to pass legislation against it. Sometimes, the husband himself tries to steal these possessions.

Note also that in a divorce, the husband cannot lay claim to the dowry as these are personal gifts and are mostly acquired before marriage so are outside the purview of shared items.

In Nigeria, dowries can include, Kitchenware, livestock, land, jewelry and in some parts of the north, the father actually buys furniture.

Note that Dowry is not wedding gifts given to the couple. These are gifts for the two of them.

This is very correct,but I think the woman's dowry should be very modest especially in physical properties to avoid future issues in her matrimony,I don't support the practice of a woman providing the furniture n electronic appliances in the home in the name of dowry,let the dowry be in form of personal clothing, jewelries, cooking n eating utensils only

Stop misleading people here.
These words can actually be used interchangeably.

Mynd44:
The Practice of dowry is also done in southern Nigeria.
Lots of women give their daughters gifts as present when she gets married

Dowry is not gift...please read the last statement in the OP post.

Mynd44:
I have heard Nigerians use "bride Price" and "Dowry" interchangeably and they seem to think they are the same. People just assume the bride price is the dowry or that they mean the same thing but this is a wrong assumption.

I knew this in Social Studies when I was in Primary 5 and it shocks me when people who I think went to school around the same time (not the current era where I don't understand the curriculum) make the same mistake. Perhaps people just think because they are both possessions and gifts exchanged around the time of a wedding they mean the same but nah. They are very distinct things.

So here is the major difference



From the definition above

1. Bride Price is given to the family of the bride by the groom and/or his family and this is mostly set by the Bride's Family.

2. Dowry is the property or money given to the bride by her family when she marries and she takes these things to her marital home.

In some cultures, Dowries cannot be sold by the couple as it is wealth that passes through only the female line so only the bride's daughter can inherit them. Thats why you see where some families have jewelry that their great grandmother used and a female descendant still wears it. It can even be shares of a company etc.

There has been cases in India and Northern Nigeria called "Dowry theft" in these cases, they grooms family (mostly committed by the groom's family) tries to convert the properties of the bride and steal them. I know India had to pass legislation against it. Sometimes, the husband himself tries to steal these possessions.

Note also that in a divorce, the husband cannot lay claim to the dowry as these are personal gifts and are mostly acquired before marriage so are outside the purview of shared items.

In Nigeria, dowries can include, Kitchenware, livestock, land, jewelry and in some parts of the north, the father actually buys furniture.

Note that Dowry is not wedding gifts given to the couple. These are gifts for the two of them.

. Wonderful piece. Quite educative & informative.God bless you OP

Deepthoughts:
This is very correct,but I think the woman's dowry should be very modest especially in physical properties to avoid future issues in her matrimony,I don't support the practice of a woman providing the furniture n electronic appliances in the home in the name of dowry,let the dowry be in form of personal clothing, jewelries, cooking n eating utensils only

But you support practice of men paying bride price, buying clothes, food items and drinks running into hundreds of thousands?

This is not absolutely correct in practice. The marriage list obtained during the courtship are explicitly clear that the man, the intended groom provides both the Dowries and the pride price. Before the presentation of the obtained items, the man had already " DHL" the funds to address the dowries by the bride's family either directly or by proxy. In others if people use it interchangeably, they cannot be said to the wrong.

Mynd44:
I have heard Nigerians use "bride Price" and "Dowry" interchangeably and they seem to think they are the same. People just assume the bride price is the dowry or that they mean the same thing but this is a wrong assumption.

I knew this in Social Studies when I was in Primary 5 and it shocks me when people who I think went to school around the same time (not the current era where I don't understand the curriculum) make the same mistake. Perhaps people just think because they are both possessions and gifts exchanged around the time of a wedding they mean the same but nah. They are very distinct things.

So here is the major difference


From the definition above

1. Bride Price is given to the family of the bride by the groom and/or his family and this is mostly set by the Bride's Family.

2. Dowry is the property or money given to the bride by her family when she marries and she takes these things to her marital home.

In some cultures, Dowries cannot be sold by the couple as it is wealth that passes through only the female line so only the bride's daughter can inherit them. Thats why you see where some families have jewelry that their great grandmother used and a female descendant still wears it. It can even be shares of a company etc.

The error is so common, it is almost now widely accepted as meaning the same.

I love this

pocohantas:
I always thought dowry is what is paid for the groom, as in India. But going by your explanation - dowry in my place is what we call IDU ULO. It is a compulsory gift from the bride's family to the bride and the standard is kitchen wares and baby items. If the bride's family has a lot of money, then you can see items like refrigerator, big gas cooker and oven...etc.

In the past my mum said they were always given sewing machines. So I guess the items are modified to meet the times.

I am surprised people are casting aspersions on Southern women because many places in Igboland practise this. I wouldn't know why it doesn't get as much noise as the marriage list.

This is a woman's dowry. We also practice the same in my place, although we place more emphasis of clothes and kitchenware.

vetinosae:
This is not absolutely correct in practice. The marriage list obtained during the courtship are explicitly clear that the man, the intended groom provides both the Dowries and the pride price. Before the presentation of the obtained items, the man had already " DHL" the funds to address the dowries by the bride's family either directly or by proxy. In others if people use it interchangeably, they cannot be said to the wrong.

The man doesn't DHL's money to the bride's family where I come from. The parents start saving for it early if they are that "poor". Financially stable parents go the extra mile to honour their daughters. They don't need your DHL'd funds.

Vinnie2000:
Whether Dowry or Bride Price, Before Any Man pays it, go for PROPER Investigations.

Bcus It is FOOLISH for Guys to be spending more than 500K on a lady's marriage expenses,
When the person who first fcvked her used Fanta and Digestive biscuits to get the coochie.

Are you married to the first woman you had sex with, luring her with Fanta and Digestive biscuits?

bende7t:
In Nigeria context, dowry must be provided by the man as a disguise under a traditional wedding list which comprises of most of those items shown in the pictures above.
While I agree with ur pride price postulation.
This I know!

Oga, nothing like 'Nigerian context'. What you call "Nigerian Context" is simply wrong usage of the term.

Ishilove:
The error is so common, it is almost now widely accepted as meaning the same.

Yes. My problem is that if we continue to do this, the practice if dowry will die and end or be limited to pots and pans.

But dowries are a financial bank for the wife against an abusive or irresponsible husband.

It also helps in cases of widows as they already have property to care for them.

Ishilove:
This is a woman's dowry. We also practice the same in my place, although we place more emphasis of clothes and kitchenware.

They give clothes too, but since it is mostly wrappers and lace which young girls in this generation are not hyped about, more emphasis is on the kitchenwares and baby things.

pocohantas:
They give clothes too, but since it is mostly wrappers and lace which young girls in this generation are not hyped about, more emphasis is on the kitchen wares and baby things.

We should go back to more financial things like land, shares, jewelry etc.

It can help solve the wife's financial needs but then we start having issues of dowry theft which sometimes is perpetrated by the husband himself

Bishops10:
This is not true

Not true that it is not true

Hemanwel:
Today, 2nd January, 2025, I have learnt a new thing.

Although, I knew bride price to be the money paid by the groom or his family to his bride, but I never knew dowry to be what the OP defined it to be. I used to think dowry is the opposite of bride price. Like, money paid by the bride or her family to the groom, cos some cultures in India and some other parts of the world practice it.

Nice one, OP!

E be like say u dey plan marriage next Saturday?

JuanDeDios:
Na today? There are many words we use like this.

does it now make it acceptable because you use it like that?

Mynd44:
Yes. Y the problem is that if we continue to do this, the practice if dowry will die and end or be limited to pots and pans.

But dowries are a financial bank for the wife against an abusive or irresponsible husband.

It also helps in cases of widows as they already have property to care for them.

Culture evolves and is sometimes modified to reflect the realities of the changing times. Bank shares, like you mentioned has never been considered a dowry because from the very outset of time, items used as a woman's dowry were the local items used to run a home. The pots and pans was an integral part of the dowry because that is what she will use in the kitchen which was considered her first office. Families will need to be enlightened that dowries should no longer be limited to kitchenware but extend to other tangible and intangible assets.

Mynd44:
We should go back to more financial things like land, shares, jewelry etc.

It can help solve the wife's financial needs but then we start having issues of dowry theft which sometimes is perpetrated by the husband himself

You can give anything as your money rich.
Not every parent can afford land and jewelry. If you can, no one stops you. I have a cousin that ablebodied men used over an hour to bring her IDU ULO gifts into the hall on her wedding day.

But theft aside, the men calling for it, can their egos handle it? Because affluent parents don't use it to play in my place o.

Mynd44:
We should go back to more financial things like land, shares, jewelry etc.

It can help solve the wife's financial needs but then we start having issues of dowry theft which sometimes is perpetrated by the husband himself

Women cannot own lands in some cultures. That is the sad truth

pocohantas:
I always thought dowry is what is paid for the groom, as in India. But going by your explanation - dowry in my place is what we call IDU ULO. It is a compulsory gift from the bride's family to the bride and the standard is kitchen wares and baby items. If the bride's family has a lot of money, then you can see items like refrigerator, big gas cooker and oven...etc.

In the past my mum said they were always given sewing machines. So I guess the items are modified to meet the times.

I am surprised people are casting aspersions on Southern women because many places in Igboland practise this. I wouldn't know why it doesn't get as much noise as the marriage list.

Because, it has no specification on what will be brought by the bride and not even compulsory. It is just a way of assisting and no law abiding it and what should be provided.

bende7t:
In Nigeria context, dowry must be provided by the man as a disguise under a traditional wedding list which comprises of most of those items shown in the pictures above.
While I agree with ur pride price postulation.
This I know!

Learn and move on. Don't try making up things that doesn't exist. Or is dowry your native language.

Dtruthspeaker:
You are right educationally however socially, they are right to use them interchangeably.

Why?

Because, socially from the difference between the 2, bride price is the most important and relevant thing in discuss as bride price is an essential ingredient of all marriages in Nigeria, while dowry is a "before nko"and dem no dey talk dat one situation, which is at the discretion and option of the bride's family.

And normally a "about to be married" woman is already taking and getting things (dowry) from her family and has taken them to the house she and her husband are going to be living in. So dowry, is not important but bride price will always be talked about as this is a very important ingredient in grounding the validity of a marriage.

So people are just focusing on the important and relevant one and not concerned with the accuracy of the words used

Learn and move on. Stop bringing irrelevant discussion on this simple explanation.

hilaryCU:
Because, it has no specification on what will be brought by the bride and not even compulsory. It is just a way of assisting and no law abiding it and what should be provided.

In your place or some places? Maybe.
In my place? There is a standard and it is compulsory. You don't send your daughter emptyhanded into marriage.

Thanks

So in a nut shell no dowry’s in Nigeria marriage except pride price
All dis Nigeria girls thinking everything has to come from d husband alone for marriage