₦airaland Forum

Stevenbright:
You didn't state what level he is in at school?

He probably started smoke to enhance his academic performance just like musicians takes it for inspiration.

Pray to God to heal him.

Approach any state government social intervention agency in your state and plead with them to help rehabilitate him.

podium:
400level, civil engineering.. his 100level and 200level was very good. All A's. 300l we stop seeing his results because he didn't show it to anyone.. I have been praying and crying to God to help him

Samantha125:
What kind of a parent calls his child to ask him to arrange money for his burial in case he dies?

Samantha125:
What kind of a parent calls his child to ask him to arrange money for his burial in case he dies?

immortalcrown:
1.
Try rehabilitation agency for your brother because drug addiction is very destructive and hard to cure. But the cure is possible.

2.
Always invite your brother and encourage him. You can do it over the phone is you live far from him. When talking to him, avoid mocking or scolding him. You can't use provocation to win him back. Just remind him that he is destined for greatness. Remind him of his good academic performance in the past. Remind him that he is a hero because not all from poor backgrounds can do well in school like he does. Then, beg him to stop anything that can ruin his destiny. Tell him that you foresee him being rich and having a beautiful wife and great children. Dis kind preaching go fit reset him brain.

While talking to him, never make the mistake of informing him that the family is hoping on him. If you tell him that, he will conclude that you just want to push him into a position for him to carry all the burdens in the family. Avoid letting him know that his success will benefit the family. E get why. Psychology is deep and may appear crazy.

Depression is real. Didn't you read the condition of the parents? Mother is weak, father has been toiling in farms to sustain the family and the son he laboured so much for is about to be a waste. Don't you understand how this situation can deteriorate the parents' mental and physical health?

Samantha125:
But still, what his parents are going through with his brother shouldn't be any of his business because he's got his own family to take care of... His brother is their responsibility and he can only help where he can, not because his parents have manipulated him into doing so.

What if he too ends up getting depressed and losing focus at work? He could lose his job.

Peakdesign23:
It shocked me too.

immortalcrown:
His brother's failure will affect his own success in many ways. No man can stand alone. For you to succeed, you need the people around you to be successful in one way or the other, just as they need you for their own success.

Samantha125:
You're right, it will affect his success if he keeps investing himself in it... Before he knows it, all his savings would be finished trying to save a situation that cannot be saved, and chances are his wife will pack up and leave him together with the children.

And once he goes broke, I'm sure his parents will still blame him for neglecting them.

Only his brother can save himself by voluntarily going to the rehab.

immortalcrown:
You sound this way because you have not experienced loneliness in a family. Have you witnessed the suffering of an only child of a family? Are you aware that this young man's present condition will be a paradise compared to what his situation will be if his parents die and his brother goes naked on the street? You cannot save yourself from depression by harbouring depression in those around you.

Samantha125:
I have experienced loneliness before... But it's situations like these that always get in the way of children's success.

At the end of the day, his parents will still one day leave this world and an addict can only save himself... You can spend millions if you like, but once someone is not ready to let go of his addiction, you're just wasting your time and money.

immortalcrown:
I didn't ask you if you have experienced loneliness before. What I ask is if you have experienced loneliness in a family and or the suffering of an only child of a family before.

Feeling lonely because you don't have a spouse or friends is different from being lonely in a family. Being lonely in a family because other members of the family excommunicate you is also different from being lonely because you are the only surviving member of the family.

Samantha125:
I haven't... But what I know is that if he keeps investing himself in this situation, he'll still end up lonely by himself one day because his wife might also eventually leave him.

What his parents are doing will only subject him to more suffering... Their failures shouldn't be his burden.

He should focus on his wife and children, they're his future.

immortalcrown:
1.
He will end up lonely in what sense?

2.
If he keeps investing himself in the situation in what sense? Is he spending his money on the brother or on the parents? Does he abandon his job to attend to the brother and the parents? When has showing concern for people become an investment that invariably leads to loneliness? Explain what you mean.

3.
What exactly will make him suffer if the wife leaves? Is she the bread winner for the family? What will anger her to leave when he doesn't spend his money on the brother and the parents?

Samantha125:
But still, what his parents are going through with his brother shouldn't be any of his business because he's got his own family to take care of... His brother is their responsibility and he can only help where he can, not because his parents have manipulated him into doing so.

What if he too ends up getting depressed and losing focus at work? He could lose his job.

Factcheck0001:
keep quiet there

It's not every issue u put mouth especially when it involves what u know nothing about, there's cultural differences between Nigeria n south Africa

U people get married there without your parents n it doesn't happen here in Nigeria

Stop being annoying

Samantha125:
What kind of a parent calls his child to ask him to arrange money for his burial in case he dies?

immortalcrown:
1.
Try rehabilitation agency for your brother because drug addiction is very destructive and hard to cure. But the cure is possible.

2.
Always invite your brother and encourage him. You can do it over the phone is you live far from him. When talking to him, avoid mocking or scolding him. Encouragement is better than scolding and hyping is better than mockery in this type of situation. This is psychology. You can't use provocation to win him back. Just remind him that he is destined for greatness. Remind him of his good academic performance in the past. Remind him that he is a hero because not all from poor backgrounds can do well in school like he does. Then, beg him to stop anything that can ruin his destiny. Tell him that you foresee him being rich and having a beautiful wife and great children. Dis kind preaching go fit reset him brain.

While talking to him, never make the mistake of informing him that the family is hoping on him. If you tell him that, he will conclude that you just want to push him into a position for him to carry all the burdens in the family. Avoid letting him know that his success will benefit the family. E get why. Psychology is deep and may appear crazy.

3.
Your wife should look for a job. Even if it is to hawk sachet water and snacks. Even if it is to work as a house cleaner or nanny. What she contributes will go a long way in helping the family. I wonder the standard of living your family has with 30k. I want to ask why you went into marriage with that level of poverty, but let that be a story for another day.

4.
Your sister? Let me not say much since you have not said much about her. But if care is not taken, that one might be another cross for your family. I pray she doesn't breed children outside wedlock and depend on you people to raise those children.

Depression is real. Didn't you read the condition of the parents? Mother is weak, father has been toiling in farms to sustain the family and the son he laboured so much for is about to be a waste. Don't you understand how this situation can deteriorate the parents' mental and physical health?

Peakdesign23:
May God help you bro. I think you should just move on with your life, because a brother like that is not willing to change, he chose that part, he's not a kid. I once had someone like that who brought shame and disgrace to himself. Believe me, your brother knows what he's doing.

Tell your wife to look for job or better still she can learn how to make zobo and puff puff, at least that one is easy to startup.

He is my only brother, each time I try to man up and face my own responsibility.. I keep remembering our memories.. how we use to be.. I have cry and ask God for a second chance for him

Do not allow family members to weigh you down, else you'll kpai early.

immortalcrown:
His brother's failure will affect his own success in many ways. No man can stand alone. For you to succeed, you need the people around you to be successful in one way or the other, just as they need you for their own success.

AcrossTheEarth:
Well, is he willing to get help? Is there a rehab center you can take him to? I wish you good luck as you navigate this and wish your brother healing, IJN.

Samantha125:
I haven't... But what I know is that if he keeps investing himself in this situation, he'll still end up lonely by himself one day because his wife might also eventually leave him.

What his parents are doing will only subject him to more suffering... Their failures shouldn't be his burden.

He should focus on his wife and children, they're his future.

Samantha125:
He will only one day find himself alone because at the end of the day, those parents will still leave this world regardless of what does and chances are his brother would still be an addict in the next 20 years after spending so much money on trying to get him clean.

His family is obviously expecting him to spend his money on both the parents and brother as if he's not a married man, hence his father is manipulating him by telling him to start saving money for his funeral, knowing very well that his son is going to feel bad and find a way to be sending them more money... There's a difference between being concerned and being obliged to show concern on matters beyond your control.

His family is manipulating him into sending more money as if it will help change the situation with his brother, when it wouldn't... And if he keeps falling for their manipulations, he'll end up broke and no woman wants to be with a broke man, that's just the bitter truth.

Draggun:
Your brother is smoking something else because weed doesn't make one mad. I smoke weed daily so I know what I'm saying and other stoners can attest to that. I am 100% certain he takes Crystal Methamphetamine popularly known as ice which has affected his brain.

podium:
I was in the village on Wednesday, there are two land in the village which my dad use it as a collateral to collect 300k for my brother school stuff. He beg those people for the money and even show them my brother results, that was why those people gave him 150k each, even if the want to sell the two land, it will not be upto 500k.. I have beg my dad to sell the two land in other to take my brother to a rehab centre.. he said the land was a gift from his grandparents, and it is not usually sold..

podium:
Thank you.. but if you call him to talk, he will come and sit down.. all of a sudden he will tell you he doesn't have time. And will stand up and leave.. he has burn all his clothes, shoes and books.. so I was not in the village I didn't know if he had burn his credentials.. even the clothes he once bought for my mum years ago. He ask for it, and started shouting at my mum, saying he will beat her. My mum gave him the clothes. He burn it too. He now wears one short and polo. Then tie wrapper for neck