₦airaland Forum

Helpout12345:
Domestic violence should not be tolerated at all. But I think you are running over emotion now. Do the following
1. Separate your sister from the house for now.
2. Look for people that can talk to your sister to open up her side of the story
3. Call the husband and hear his side of the story. Be calm while doing this. Don't let emotions overrun you.
4. Find out who is the person starting the violence at home. It could be either party.
5. If they can't settle their issues without violence, they should stay separated.
6. If both are willing to stop violence, you can work on settling their matter.

OP already has evidence that they cannot resolve the problem WITHOUT VIOLENCE. So, why in the world are you still suggesting he try to mediate? Those two do not belong together and should be kept separate at all costs in order to avoid the unthinkable — well murder.

Kobojunkie:
OP already has evidence that they cannot resolve the problem WITHOUT VIOLENCE. So, why in the world are you still suggesting he try to mediate? Those two do not belong together and should be kept separate at all costs in order to avoid the unthinkable — well murder.

Because the violence is being hidden by the woman calls for more digging.

Also, there have been marriages that have witnessed violence at one time or the other in their journey because of ignorance of either or both parties. And with proper education and counseling, they stopped the violence and were able to stay married.

Also, no two marriages are 100pct replica, so are their problems. It is usually a case by case.

In marriages issues, actions that lead to divorce must be reserved for the last.

It doesn't matter why they are fighting, there's no need for beating. There's no justification for the beating.

Preston114:
I like to be logical. Hence, I admit that anything is possible. To my best of knowledge, she's always been decent as she was a virgin when she got married. Graduated as the best in her department but succumbed to her husband's manipulations that kept her from pursuing a career. She's now in a state where she's been conditioned to depend on her husband and as such tolerate whatever he does

A textbook abuser right there.

SeeWahala:
You better hold your own peace till you can coerce your sister to tell you the exact issue causing their fights and disagreements.

She might have been caught cheating or worse and the husband is still sore from finding out. What? You think it's not possible? lol

She cheated on him multiple times and he still stayed?

You mean, she didn't get terrified to cheat again a second time?

Kobojunkie:
So, you actually think that there could exist a plausible reason for why her husband would choke your own sister? Do you believe there could exist a rational reason for why your naked sister was assaulted by her husband in the video which you deleted? And you don't live in Nigeria, you said?

According to experts, when they graduate to choking, they can kill you

Helpout12345:
➜Because the violence is being hidden by the woman calls for more digging.
➜ Also, there have been marriages that have witnessed violence at one time or the other in their journey because of ignorance of either or both parties. And with proper education and counseling, they stopped the violence and were able to stay married.
➜Also, no two marriages are 100pct replica, so are their problems. It is usually a case by case. In marriages issues, actions that lead to divorce must be reserved for the last.

1. Requires more digging because? 😏

2. You mean the tales by moonlight stories you have been fed in your past of how toxic marriages can be changed? Are you for real? Have you ever, monitored any such marriage to be certain that the toxicity in the relationship disappeared after mediation?

3. No two marriages are replicas yet human behavior has been revealed to follow consistent patterns even when it comes to marriage. For example, a man who was an abuser before marriage is almost guaranteed to remain one even after marriage no matter who he is married to, or how many times he marries.

1Sharon:
➜According to experts, when they graduate to choking, they can kill you

We have seen this happen countless times but Nigerians will always default back to the fables they were fed as kids of how violent marriage situations in their communities were magically resolved after the intervention of their in-laws, pastors or elders. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Helpout12345:
Because the violence is being hidden by the woman calls for more digging.

Also, there have been marriages that have witnessed violence at one time or the other in their journey because of ignorance of either or both parties. And with proper education and counseling, they stopped the violence and were able to stay married.

Also, no two marriages are 100pct replica, so are their problems. It is usually a case by case.

In marriages issues, actions that lead to divorce must be reserved for the last.

If she keeps it hidden PROBLEM!

If she exposes the violence PROBLEM!


We saw the way you people still gave idiotic takes when that women exposed her husband on CCTV throwing things at her.

SINisSIN:
You can't literally do anything when the victim your sister is not complaining.

Maybe when you will be able to do something without her permission is when she finally died. Then you can arrest the husband but for now, your sister is the only one that can help the situation.

What you can do from your end is quote limited and may aggravate the issue on ground. Your sister has the ball in her court. It's either she keeps playing this game that isn't going in her favour or take a walk.


Please advise her to take a walk, if not for anything, at least for her life and sanity.

Please try to get your sister away from that monster before something bad happens to her.

Maybe the Husband is good in bed, that's why she refused to leave the marriage.

Assuming all you said is true and I'm in same situation I will deploy violence without my sisters consent. I will ause law enforcement to mess him up, bo one can try this with my two married sisters and go scot free that person them never born sm for this world.

You are not exuding enough deterrence that is why the dude could even try it in the first place, there are some family yiu will see even if you are a mad man you can't lay your hands on their daughter. Set a precedence for him with violence if he doesn't change then prosecute him in court for assault and jail him.

SINisSIN:
You can't literally do anything when the victim your sister is not complaining.

Maybe when you will be able to do something without her permission is when she finally died. Then you can arrest the husband but for now, your sister is the only one that can help the situation.

Hae can do a lot, that video evidence alone is what i need to unleash third world war on him, them no born my inlaws to beat my sisters na straight to jail no cap...You dey craze beat woman wey ger brothers na lawyers, Engineer, Doctors? You dey ment na straight to jail

Free2Fly:
How did you arrive at the conclusion that the man, not your sister, is the problem?

If you don't like s woman anymore send her parking, the moment you start assaulting you are at fault.

Victim said she is fine. How will you handle that? Assuming she open up to her brother now, en en they will work together but she said there is no problem.

Before anything, victim needs to admit to the maltreatment and beatings otherwise any action you want to take will be futile.

idahme:
Hae can do a lot, that video evidence alone is what i need to unleash third world war on him, them no born my inlaws to beat my sisters na straight to jail no cap...You dey craze beat woman wey ger brothers na lawyers, Engineer, Doctors? You dey ment na straight to jail

Preston114:
Recently one of my sisters went to visit our elder sister and found out that her husband has been assaulting her. According to my sister who went visiting, she said the first time she noticed this, she perceived some struggles in the apartment and decided to check what exactly was happening only to find my elder sister pinned to the wall by her husband and held tightly on her neck that she was grasping for breath.

When I was informed about this, it felt so disheartening. I called my sister in question and enquired what was happening as none of us ever knew that she was going through such in her marriage. She swept the topic under the rug with an excuse that it had never happened before and it was just a misunderstanding. I felt something off but I thought we should let it slide since my sister does not seem interested in us taking actions.

Early this morning, I got another call from my other sister that the husband is assaulting her again and this time it was more serious. She shared a video evidence with me and it sincerely broke my heart. However, I asked her to delete the video so it does not erroneously get to the public as she was naked in the video.

It's important to mention that they have been married for more than 10 years. I sincerely don't know the root cause of their issue. However, I find it hard to understand how fellow men get to this point of battering their wives without any sense of remorse.

I'm not in Nigeria so I'm constrained on the actions I can take from my current location. I was making an arrangement with a friend to help me deploy some soldiers do their house but I had to pend it as I was informed that he has left the house and when he does that he probably stays out for a week before coming back home. I guess this is part of the issues they are having.

My parents are quite old hence, I would like to coordinate necessary actions on this issue myself. Although my sister is appealing that we overlook the matter as her concern is to keep her marriage. She's not even considering her safety.

Can I file a report with human rights activist on behalf of my sister? If yes I would appreciate advice on how to do this.

If you're sister is unwilling, there's little you can do from our there.

She will drop the case.

Preston114:
Thanks for the workable suggestions?
God bless

You and others are trying to be understanding but your sisters life is at stake

Anything can happen

Most men don't want to kill their wives its a little beating and a little slap
One or two blows to calm her down and like play she's gone

I suggest intervene quickly, hopefully you still have proof, Reach out quickly to avoid had I known and return or send burial money