₦airaland Forum

My dad died November 2024. We are from Ugono- Abraka, but my dad built his in Erho-Abraka. Before his death, he warned me and my siblings not to take his corpse to Ugono Abraka for burial. He said he should be buried in Erho Abraka, his grandmother's side.

The problem now is that his family at Ugono Abraka has vowed not to allow his burial except we bury him in Ugono.

Please are my options? I'm the eldest child and son.

These type of things should have been documented and duly signed by your dad while alive.

Or, you could have brought it more witnesses to hear it. This move could have saved a lot of troubles.

If you are very sure to do your father's dying wish, then go to the police and part with some cash and a truckload of stern looking battle ready mopol would be deployed to you to escort the corpse from the mortuary to his final resting place.

Anyone who tries to forment trouble there would be dealt with.

You are very correct. We took it for granted. We never knew we would faced serious resistance like this.

Gandollar:
These type of things should have been documented and duly signed by your dad while alive.

Or, you could have brought it more witnesses to hear it. This move could have saved a lot of troubles.

If you are very sure to do your father's dying wish, then go to the police and part with some cash and a truckload of stern looking battle ready mopol would be deployed to you to escort the corpse from the mortuary to his final resting place.

Anyone who tries to forment trouble there would be dealt with.

You are very correct. We took it for granted. We never knew we would faced serious resistance like this.

ladgentle:
You are very correct. We took it for granted. We never knew we would faced serious resistance like this.

That's family members for you. The late man must have his reasons not to be taken back to his ancestry for burial. But now he's no more, the living want to flex their muscles.

Appeal to your kinsmen and also send emissaries. If all pleas fall on deaf ears, you know what to do.

In Urhobo land and as much as I know, there is this saying that goes thus " The closest an individual is, depends on how the individual partakes in inheritance". There is another sayings I have come across as well- " E children ( referring to the children of the deceased) burial am take". E children burial am take means the children made the final decision on how to burial their deceased parent. This is allowed, and can be done peacefully by the children settling who needs to be settled at the family level, and community level. This can also be done in the absence of peace between the deceased's children and the family of the deceased. In the latter, the children tells the family to go"
'f*ck yourself", and they bury their parent the way they deem it fit.
However, there could be some repercussions depending on the situation. You need to find out why your Dad gave such instruction, not to be buried in Ugono, and why the Family insist on having him buried at Ugono. In considering this, I think an individual has the right to choose his/her final resting place, and it would be wise to honor your father with his request, regardless if this instruction was given verbally or in written form. Your father could be running away from something which his village people wants to see fulfilled, hence the suggestion to find out what this is all about.

I think the children of a deceased person in Urhobo land have a lot to say over where their deceased parents lies. The case is different if the deceased person has no children, and the decision falls back on the family. If you choose to go with your father's instruction, its not against the tradition, but be Godly strong spiritually to wedge off spiritually wicked miscreants from the family, who often see it as an opportunity to fight the children for standing up to them. Standing with the family and against your father, you may be diving into what you don't know. I don't know what the case is with you, but it does appear the battle line is drawn and you need to take your stances.

The burial is not Ur own, it is the family burial, so dey we decide where and how to burial their brother, remember they were B4 U apper, they we be the one to do the ORO for him a day after the burial or else all of U will be in danger if U decide to disobey them. Pls listen to Ur family.

kevwemike:
The burial is not Ur own, it is the family burial, so dey we decide where and how to burial their brother, remember they were B4 U apper, they we be the one to do the ORO for him a day after the burial or else all of U will be in danger if U decide to disobey them. Pls listen to Ur family.

Your advice is well apparently. Thanks

Kerosene:
In Urhobo land and as much as I know, there is this saying that goes thus " The closest an individual is, depends on how the individual partakes in inheritance". There is another sayings I have come across as well- " E children ( referring to the children of the deceased) burial am take". E children burial am take means the children made the final decision on how to burial their deceased parent. This is allowed, and can be done peacefully by the children settling who needs to be settled at the family level, and community level. This can also be done in the absence of peace between the deceased's children and the family of the deceased. In the latter, the children tells the family to go"
'f*ck yourself", and they bury their parent the way they deem it fit.
However, there could be some repercussions depending on the situation. You need to find out why your Dad gave such instruction, not to be buried in Ugono, and why the Family insist on having him buried at Ugono. In considering this, I think an individual has the right to choose his/her final resting place, and it would be wise to honor your father with his request, regardless if this instruction was given verbally or in written form. Your father could be running away from something which his village people wants to see fulfilled, hence the suggestion to find out what this is all about.

I think the children of a deceased person in Urhobo land have a lot to say over where their deceased parents lies. The case is different if the deceased person has no children, and the decision falls back on the family. If you choose to go with your father's instruction, its not against the tradition, but be Godly strong spiritually to wedge off spiritually wicked miscreants from the family, who often see it as an opportunity to fight the children for standing up to them. Standing with the family and against your father, you may be diving into what you don't know. I don't know what the case is with you, but it does appear the battle line is drawn and you need to take your stances.

Thanks for your contribution