₦airaland Forum

This is why many people now use their younger siblings to best them. Because if you pick friend A, friend B will be jealous, and if you pick B, Friend A will be jealous. But nobody will be jealous at your younger brother.

At least u were available for the wedding..
My own best friend didn’t even invite me to his wedding ceremony

Lamasta:
Must we equate everything to money Even to be best man na with money again?

You dey mind that one, den don turn everything to money money money, that's why they keep committing different crimes .

lexy2014:
have you gotten money?

U won dash me?🙄

Smitaro100:
U won dash me?🙄

have you gotten money? yes or no

Person wey no fit buy ordinary handkerchief wan be best man? Dey there dey play.

dawnomike:
I see no problem here... That you're conduit tcfriend does not necessarily mean I must be your best friend.

see hen I don't even know where to start from. Can you see the pain in the guys face complaining about him no being a best Man? Probably the groom had promised him when he gets married the guy will be his best man so there was some form expectations. The thing is probably he felt that was a honour and acknowledgement the groom could have given him? Yorubas say owo matan, eyan lomaku.its sad how Nigerians value money and things over human relationships and its even human relationships that make money,positions and things valuable.

You don't know what help or things the complainer had done for the groom that he's that pained and disappointed.of course he's human and he will feel betrayed. I love Nigerians but one thing I hate about Nigerians is devaluation for people and relationships when your interests is no longer serviced.its not fair really. As painful as it is,that guy feels betrayed because his expectations has been crashed.moreover I don't think that the guy asked for something too much or unreasonable, he didn't ask for money,a special seat or to be the chairman, he just asked to be the best man.again I think the groom didn't handle the matter with wisdom, diplomacy and tact.even if you didn't want to use him as your best man for reasons best known to you, you for apply wisdom and explain things to him calmly not bull shitting him like that, haba.you don't treat human beings like that.

As for the yoruba statement I made in case you aren't yoruba, the yoruba elders have a saying, money comes and goes but its human beings that will be with you.

The position of the best man might look insignificant to you and to some others it could be like kini big deal,why are you making a fuss about something not that deep, are you a teenager but let me tell you something, as hurtful as it seems for the complainer, he needs to experience the hurt and disappointment,that will be a forever motivation for him to work hard to ensure that he's not rejected or discarded ever again. Something that looks like weakness has to die in a man for the man in him to rise and the only conduit to achieve that is humiliation and disrespect. If you don't experience rejection whether as a man or woman, if your ego is not smashed the man or woman in you will not rise

And to the groom and people like the groom there are better ways to handle things. Your day of joy or celebration should not be a day of pain or sadness for another person. Nobody should remember your wedding day as something that brought pain to another. Its dangerous for your marriage. You're setting a bad foundation and please I'm not talking about people pleasing but respect for your old time friends and that's why I like our parents generation. Their old time classmate since primary school are still their friends whether they have money or not but our own generation money, position or social status is the yardstick for friendship in our generation

Moreover I was surprised that the woman who baby sitted me when my mom was at work,till today theyre still friends and this is despite the fact that she is not as educated or or financially ok as my mom but I trust my generation they'll say I don't have any Buisness with you,after all I paid you for your services and my Buisness with you is over.i met the woman in a social function through my mom when I was in secondary school, my mom said SAMBARRY meet Mrs lagbaja she was the one who took care of you as a baby oya kneel down and greet her.abeg we need to learn maintaining sustainable human resources from our parents. They got it right in that part

BABANGBALI:
Person wey no fit buy ordinary handkerchief wan be best man? Dey there dey play.

so your value and yardstick for friendship is money? No wonder my generation has fancy mansions without homes, luxury without rest. Of what use is having everything and not having genuine people around you?

zeyt:
In my graduation photo album I mentioned four of my classmates as my friends as required. But to my dismay non of them mentioned me in the album as their friends. I was shocked, and it still hurts after 14 years.

I know and understand but human beings will always be human beings that's why its important to love and value yourself FIRST, build a relationship with yourself 1ST so another person being your friend or saying he loves you as a friend is an added advantage and will reduce your expectations so if he no choose you as a friend it won't hurt you because he was just a second option in your life and you were the first option. Its painful and unfortunate but that's the world and times we live in so we all have to adjust.

If people hurt,betray or disappoint you,you're not disappointed because you didn't expect love or genuine friendship from them anyway

abobote:
Talking about feeling entitled. Best man is not based on longevity of friendship, so many things are considered including social status

really? No wonder fake friendships ,eye service and pretenders full everywhere.

Una don create a society and social environment where people will be kneeling down for you and be doing rankadede, be hailing you in your front but will be winking their nose (yinmu) and be mocking/insulting you behind your back. No wonder alabosi don full everywhere. You disrespect people who are good and loyal to you over money and then you complain there are no good people again, koseyan mo.
You people don't value real people and people who show they're genuine, you choose a man with money over a genuine old time friend? Smh tomorrow una go dey complain women are gold diggers, women are too materialistic, they don't
stay with you in difficult times,they don't follow a man who genuinely loves them but doesn’t have money but will priotize a rich lout. are they not learning from the best with this type of mindset. Smh

ugodson:
No fair

My opinion

exactly

VinnyBaba:
No matter how Much we try to pretend, It is Really Painful when a Best Pal snub you as his BestMan for his Wedding.

For ladies, It is same.

You CAN'T be Friends with a Person for 20+yrs, then Not make him or her Best Man or Chief Bridesmaid at your wedding.

If you Favour someone Else, Explain Thoroughly to ur Pal, for doing so.

exactly. To avoid bad blood.imagine loosing a genuine friendship on your wedding day. A day that people came to rejoice with you and it now became a sad day for one of the people that came to rejoice with you

Sonnobax15:

I understand the nigha's plight in totality and reason for his annoyance.......It's only a nigha who hasn't been damned by his main nighas
before that will see reasons to insult him...But nevertheless,he should move on with his life,at least he has learned and known his position in the so-called friendship which he had always termed as his best..

This is another reason why I only go to where I'm invited to and only play the role which I'm assigned to.....Cuz if you mistakenly go break glass for party wey Dem no invite you go,you must pay for am......."words of my late momma"

Was your momma (God rest her soul) from Edo? Them dey drum the adage for all man ears back then.

There is nothing like best friend it doesn't exist, man up and move on know thy self 🤷

correctguy101:
Sane words.

Learnt that the hard way...

Ordinary 4 decades plus and I have experienced so much wahala... Smh

Yes, sometimes, life lessons can be very tough but provides useful experience.

.......... holyfvck..........
I don't know if it's only me,
But actually I don't have best friends, I only have gist mates, we talk, laugh, drinks when possible, then everyone gets out.
It is so so painful to see people place less value on you than the one you place on them 👹👹👹

As I am like this, if I do wedding today I can't say I have a best man

Lamasta:
Must we equate everything to money Even to be best man na with money again?

I'm telling you bro, that's all what matters in the eye of the society we live in today. It's the reason folks do all manner of unthinkable things...just to make money. It's just so sad.

The person you regard as your best friend can also have another best friend.


BTW, a similar thing happened when my friend got married. People who knew us were wondering why I wasn't his best man when he got married. They didn't know we discussed before the wedding.....His plan was to use me but I refused due to my shy nature. I'm an introvert, I avoid any situation that would make me uncomfortable.

He used his younger brother instead.

This is nothing. Imagine someone who you thought was your best friend since primary 1 (1991), invites you to his wedding in the States and you aren't even amongst the groom train I'm not talking about best man as he has brother and brother-in-law but a groomsman. You expect me to pay thousands of dollars in flight ticket from Nigeria to the States and I'm not even part of the groomsmen? Friendship of over 30 years. The people you see as your best friends may not see you the same way.

I just realised I don't even have bestfriend. I roll based on my personal reasons and what I feel I can work with.


If I were him, he should have played his role as just a friend, but here he is crying like a fool. He'd regret this show many years to come. It's not worth the drama.

From the look of things, he's not yet married. Work hard to make money, organise your own wedding and pay him back in his own coin. Have him at the center of organising the event, on the wedding day, you shove him aside and pick another person - make sure you pick someone who does not have money to play that role.

Since it's due to financial reasons, hope he does not take to crime to make a statement. Someone who is this emotional can do anything.

Besides, he might have not been a good friend too.

dawnomike:
I see no problem here... That you're ny best friend does not necessarily mean I must be your best friend.

Excatly my thoughts,and the petty and childish tantrums shows the reason he was overlooked and not considered for the homour,what comes out from your mouth is a window into your heart,he should have kept silent and retbink his view towards life and friendship

zeyt:
In my graduation photo album I mentioned four of my classmates as my friends as required. But to my dismay non of them mentioned me in the album as their friends. I was shocked, and it still hurts after 14 years.

My brother it was the opposite for me o,normally I wasn't really the friendly type in school, so I wasn’t surprised in the year book when I wasn’t mentioned by course mates , Lol , I’m just glad that the only two people I mentioned also mentioned me, A lot of people were mentioning people who didn’t even give a Bleep about them thinking because they talk that makes them friends , till today a lot of people from my set still respects me for keeping it real. Mentioning the only two people I f**k with .

Mariangeles:
How did that shape your relationship with people afterwards?

Aside those you mentioned as friends (who didn't mention you), were you mentioned as a friend by anyone (who you didn't mention)?

Absolutely no!

SAMBARRY:
so your value and yardstick for friendship is money? No wonder my generation has fancy mansions without homes, luxury without rest. Of what use is having everything and not having genuine people around you?

if you can't afford your own clothes, you don't have to complain

zedman1:
I'm telling you bro, that's all what matters in the eye of the society we live in today. It's the reason folks do all manner of unthinkable things...just to make money. It's just so sad.

Its so sad bro, no wonder so many youths are under pressure to make money

GistMedia0:
Friendships are often tested in unexpected ways, and one man learned this the hard way after his best friend of 15 years overlooked him as the best man at his wedding. The snub didn’t sit well with him, leading to a dramatic reaction that has since gone viral, sparking intense debates online.

According to reports, the man felt betrayed and expressed his disappointment openly, claiming that their long-standing friendship should have earned him the honor. However, sources suggest that the groom instead chose another friend, allegedly due to financial reasons.

The incident quickly made its way to social media, where opinions were sharply divided. While some sympathized with the man’s pain, others saw it as a harsh reality check. One netizen bluntly stated, "Well, it is what it is... not all your friends see you the same way you see them! You just have to be you and don’t expect anything from them!"

Another user weighed in on the financial aspect, writing, "Not having money is not good, but I will never treat people differently because they don’t have money."


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op58TIrnJkU

in this life there's nothing like Best friend

BABANGBALI:
if you can't afford your own clothes, you don't have to complain

smh then don't complain when you have only fake people around you

SAMBARRY:
smh then don't complain when you have only fake people around you

nothing is real in this world. Stop deceiving yourself

BABANGBALI:
nothing is real in this world. Stop deceiving yourself

you sef stop being delusional.if everyone is fake around you na die you dey.no wonder politicians dey use una play

SAMBARRY:
you sef stop being delusional.if everyone is fake around you na die you dey.no wonder politicians dey use una play

no go hustle look for money to buy clothes if best man dey hungry you

BABANGBALI:
no go hustle look for money to buy clothes if best man dey hungry you

yinmu. Who dey cry for best man