₦airaland Forum

my mom house is very close, i just strolled in,my mom left for business ,she traveled to get goods ,luckily for me i was here when someone came to buy goods he bought 50k and sent 500k omo na so i call am back transfer he money back,the energy here is lively.food full kitchen last last i go dey alright
i will start house hunting soon

SouthAmericalif:
most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

Hmm nawa oo. If at all I am to believe all these..How you did you say you met this man and what even attracted you to him in the first place? Because from all you have said, this man seems he is not good at anything at all.

musicwriter:
If you're doing well for yourself as a young lady; why did you even get married? On top of that you got married without courtship, meaning that someone forced you into marriage.

If what you wrote here is to be believed, you'll certainly be better off without marriage.

WARNING: You don't need to travel outside Nigeria. You'll do better in Nigeria.

Devil has spoken thru u... so men that are doing well sudnt also marry them... they should also not need it since they are doing well ...

truth be said it was an arranged marriage.

SouthAmericalif:
most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

when the marriage was knew i complained a lot it got to the extent 200naira was a big money that i have to start begging my mum to eat
it was then i pick up and double my hustle

Madam...those ur friends u envy that are single will even sell their body parts if they can have to chance to be married to even ur husband ..... being single is the worst thing that can ever happen to a lady... dont allow social media deceive u .... if u call ur husband lazy cos he isn't providing.... if u leave him, u willnstill be the one providing for urself , nothing de street , u are 36 , only a very few men will pay u peanuts for 4k u and ghost u , the rest no go even send u ... ur single friends are just forming happy, but if u know what they are going thru deep down , go be like ur own wahala na paradise

You're a very concerned human being. So much concerned about irrelevant things, things that can take away your peace.

What is stopping you from leaving the compound? and look for a compound with landlord and few tenants? Don't tell me your husband since you're the one paying rent so why are you still in the compound?

Then your husband, you complained he slept while you're awake thinking; I don't get this. You didn't speak out for him to know what the issue is, so you expected him to be awake with you?

Take a break and let him fend for himself. Marriage is not a do or die affair.

SouthAmericalif:
i am still here updating because i need to speak out and learn from others by picking out the positive comments to encourage my self and not to think much while adjusting to a new life
Finally arrive my mum place,woke up my daughter early gave her few of my stuff to take to my mum before my neighbor woke up
while she was away my hubby woke up and i confronted him for peace talk and told why i am angry and he slept with out considering me
he got up and walk away with out saying a word.clean up make sure my daughter eat then i came out freely not knowing my neighbors where waiting for me to come, after a year today this girl greeted me the mother followed me outside that the landlord is very angry with them begged me to call the landlord that we have settled i told her ok and left.she is settling with me after causing my marriage.

SouthAmericalif:
truth be said it was an arranged marriage.

it seems you just needed a place to vent, you should have done this in the diary section, but you probably needed the attention too, you wanted to be seen and heard perhaps your husband doesn’t give you the attention you crave despite all your efforts. If kids are involved and there’s no physical abuse, I honestly think it can be salvaged. Nothing good comes easy.

cr7lomo:
Devil has spoken thru u... so men that are doing well sudnt also marry them... they should also not need it since they are doing well ...

Don't get me wrong.

The girl said there was no courtship, meaning she was forced into marriage. My view is that she shouldn't have agreed to that no matter the pressure since it wasn't her choice.

Of course, any girl doing well for herself AND WANTS TO GET MARRIED SHOULD GET MARRIED.

She's in a situation she didn't create for herself.

we have mid year for our rent to expire, i told him the money we have at hand that by weekend he should split it and give me part so we can fend for each other separately i will get a room self contained and start living there if he is willing to reconcile na that small we go stay until he wakes up, i feel it’s a loveless marriage

Isn't this your story what men face everyday and most women down play men's efforts? Madam settle your issues, you knew he was struggling with his finances and went ahead, its only a man that can feed a jobless woman for 50 years without complaining and divorcing her o doubt if any woman can do that.

You want us to tell you tto leave your husband because his finances aren't checking up? Madam any decision you want to taake do and the society will still go. On

musicwriter:
If you're doing well for yourself as a young lady; why did you even get married? On top of that you got married without courtship, meaning that someone forced you into marriage.

If what you wrote here is to be believed, you'll certainly be better off without marriage.

WARNING: You don't need to travel outside Nigeria. You'll do better in Nigeria.

Marriage is a poverty eradication scheme i guess and anyone who is doing well shouldn't marry but unfortunately I didn't see men up there, why aren't men included? Are they a lesser specie of humans? A man should go ahed and marry while he is rich but a woman shouldn't become her finances will be drained according to you. Did you see why wisdom has nothing to do. With age? Some are old but churn out low critically asserted thought.

dominique:
I would have said OP is exaggerating if I didn't have an aunt that married a man EXACTLY like this. She slumped and died at the age of 42 leaving 2 young teenagers behind. There are so many irresponsible men like this out there yet they'll come online to diminish women's efforts, claim they're the ones paying all the bills and women are leeches. That's why I will continue to say it that Nigerian men are 100% worse than the women they constantly criticize

Hahaha my money is my money and his money is out money crew, this is just a tip of what men go through everyday whoo die more from blood pressure issues die to stress between men and women? Why are there more windows than widowers? You see same scenario? A man will go through iit with a liability at home but same man won't even see her as a liability and they will grow together. Women can't do what men do for them fact

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

You deserve more..

idahme:
Marriage is a poverty eradication scheme i guess and anyone who is doing well shouldn't marry but unfortunately I didn't see men up there, why aren't men included? Are they a lesser specie of humans? A man should go ahed and marry while he is rich but a woman shouldn't become her finances will be drained according to you. Did you see why wisdom has nothing to do. With age? Some are old but churn out low critically asserted thought.

You're quoting out of context. Check out my response to the other guy to be able to correct your assumption.

Run for your life.

SouthAmericalif:
look at the time i am writing this after having stressful day with work i can’t sleep because i am in pain
because of business i bought him toyota camry, bought big nylon machine he no work all this money na from legit struggles when i suppose package my self japa
but the business i dey use my hand do dey work even with this i dey run 2bedroom flat rent ,expensive act fees and all the bills myself include food. I no complain
my complain now is that while carrying out all this struggles one neighbor out of joblessness and jealousy of what i am not even enjoying will be bullying me psychologically publicly

Women are funny.

Men do all these for years upon years happily without compliants

Woman try am once, see as complain full ground

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

1st mistake u made is don't marry ant man without a sustainable job or a skill and a drive to always be better. Same applies to a man marrying a woman, the woman must not be idle or jobless.

Nobody should be babysitting the other in marriage. U are both adults and should know how to act and thrive.

Damage is done u married him to fix him but did he have his own concrete plan to fix himself or are u his mother? U can only help and assit but he must know what he's is supposed to do and how to do it then u support that in whichever way possible. That's how a partnership works. U don't spoon feed anybody.

U got him keke that was ur idea not his and he may ot be a good driver or capable in that area, so I ask what was his own idea? Did u have an objective discussion on this?

Marriage is never do or die so I'm not against leaving but make sure u do things right and do ur best without sabotaging urself. Cheers

Before you invest money on anyone to start a business , make sure they have known the true value of money, has done a trade before and know how to at least turn 1,000 Naira to 1200 , using their sense

Otherwise, that money you invested will disappear into thin air

Make sure they have learned and learn Naija economy and how to survive it, otherwise, one single business mistake, you are back to square one

donproject2:
I am a man but trust me, you can't continue with this man. You mentioned something like japa in your accompanying post, if you still have the fund and might, you may consider this. As for the kids, if possible, look for a carer in trusted family member while you pave way overseas. There's nothing more dangerous than being with a NFA man.

A lazy spouse is worst than an Hiv infected person. Run o

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

Do you think things will get better when you leave him? I honestly don't know.

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

Life.... It's duty to take care of your body. Do what will make you live long ooo.

[quote author=SouthAmericalif post=134202532]i have two grown kids and my mum takes very good care of them.
i didn’t sleep this night but am a bit calm this morning since i figured it out that i have to be there for my self, in health wise and all round moving to my mums place this morning and will
get a room self contained by next week and start from there.

Fantastic decision , please move with your full chest. sending you e-hug

SouthAmericalif:
we are christian’s i have been silent for more than a year now because i respect you as my husband, this person we quarrel and swear in my gate almost everyday if her fridge did not work is me, if mosquitoe bite her is me, i don’t even know her from anywhere.
ok look for another apartment even we still have arrears of six months here but i can still afford it and we can move on na me go do everything

Do you have kids?

franchasng:
In pure traditional Igbo culture as practiced in the past, marriage is not a childsplay.


Before a man marries a lady, the elders of his family do embark on spiritual journey to make findings about the woman he intends to marry and her true family background. The woman's family too also embark on their own physical and spiritual findings after the man makes his intention to marry their daughter known.


Some families will never be wealthy. Some men will never be rich or wealthy, some will depend on others to survive, that is how their chi programmed their life. So for such men, his family elders do embark on a spiritual journey to unravel the background of the girl he intends to marry, if they carry same negative destiny or fate in life, the marriage will be aborted to save their future and that of their unborn kids from untold hardship and sufferings.


Instead the family elders will then look for a girl from a family with success or wealth trait or fate or destiny, whatever you call it, to get a wife for the man to help his own destiny. That was how marriage was done in the past in Igbo land but today youths marry anyhow in the name of love without consultations.


Some family carry the fate or destiny of untimely death too and people foolishly go into such families to marry without due consultations and when the consequences come, they start crying.


Marriage is not a childsplay.


To all single ladies and guys reading, dont marry anyhow oh. Dont just marry because of what you are seeing physically at the moment, make some spiritual consultations through your Pastor if he is truly ordained and spiritually carried or through your native tradition. Don't marry anyhow to avoid plunging your life to a perpetual misery

Oga sorry,a man chi does not decide anything but if a man say yes his chi will also say Yes, looking at this man's case,his chi has said yes by giving him a blessing in the form of wife,but he is the one saying no,why the wife is annoyed here is not because of his laziness but his inability to defend her against intruders,

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

Men use weaponized incompetence as a weapon.

musicwriter:
Don't get me wrong.

The girl said there was no courtship, meaning she was forced into marriage. My view is that she shouldn't have agreed to that no matter the pressure since it wasn't her choice.

Of course, any girl doing well for herself AND WANTS TO GET MARRIED SHOULD GET MARRIED.

She's in a situation she didn't create for herself.

I don't think they forced her .... I think she made the decision, maybe due to desperation...afterall she was the sponsor and pretty young as well ... maybe she had her personal reasons

tundebasic:
1. Well, if I may suggest, except you bought the Camry for Uber, you can sell it and buy a car for taxi instead. Let him drive while you manage (if you have a brother you trust, he can manage this).
2. Have a discuss with him, find out what he loves to do naturally, what he enjoys doing and can push without limits. That's his strength, invest in that.
3. Have a list of businesses, let him choose the one he likes to do. Then, navigate how to invest in it together.
4. Anything you decide to do don't contribute the 100%. Let him also have an input. Tell him to contribute 50% while you add the remaining 50%. He can get a loan for his part.

As for your neighbours, you can:
1. Report them to the landlord, let him take action.
2. Get a restraining order from the court or police (a lawyer will guide you on this).
3. Meet a lawyer on how to issue them a warning letter (if it exists) to let them know you will sue them for libel/slander if they don't desist.

Op don't you ever ever listen to or follow this crap.

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

But the man in question is set back personified abeg,

SouthAmericalif:
last week i told him since i have my passport let me just leave for cape verde and he said no that may be later then this people was calling my name for things i know nothing of, once i here there shouting sometimes i will just be shock in my heart, in my house out of tiredness from house chores cooking and business i sleep before every one but am pouring my heart here so i don’t commit suicide and i mean it

some men dey sha.toyota Camry for this Tinubu era and the man still dey fuckup. Just take a break to your mother's house and relax.your brain seems full of alot of his excesses and need to reset.
Am not asking you to leave the marriage.subtly dey talk sense into him.tell him you are becoming weak and ur strength isn't there again to carry on with everything u have been doing.tell him you need him to up his game.
My elder sister of 41yrs old is in same mess .and already hypertensive as early as 35yr of age.i hate discussing such issues sha

Everything posted here is one sided rubbish and tantrums from an over assuming gender.....very selfish lots


Once a woman feel she have capacity everything the man does in the marriage irritates her and she always want out so she stay alone ......reason God never gave the right of marital leadership to women if not marriage won't have existed ......this stupid biased fictional depiction coming from this woman should not be objectified as a realistic statement until u hear from the man view points




Once a woman have more money,men irritates her .....she want to Bleep her fellow women instead


Once a women is in the helm of affairs she become so offensive in attitude

Give a women the capacity in marriage and watch that marriage crash with incessant emotional blackmail and complain over a month....

As you don’t have a child for him, better japa x 2, from the marriage and from the country