₦airaland Forum

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

In a situation where all of these persons you mentioned are not available,, should any male person from the extended family do the honours, whereas there is a young male inside the immediate family.??

This is a man's world

He represented as a proxy
Man na man sha

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

/

Many towns in Igbo land have some unique traditions. What you outlined above may be obtainable in your area. But it doesn't mean it is the same for all Igbo towns.

/

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

Tradition, she has Uncles. They are also father to her, something is not right in it.

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

Exactly, this shows theres no unity in the family and maybe the girl, mother if alive is not in good terms with the relatives of her father, husband.

Gallant

Newfoundlove:
The family has the prerogative to decide, not you. Not me

The fact that people have the right to their decisions doesn't mean we shouldn't identify and correct something that is unreasonable.

He's a male by nature, but isn't a man yet. So he's not yet capable of standing in as a father figure in cases like this. What has he learned about life? What has he learned about marriage?

Are you saying that he should be the one blessing the marriage since he's standing in as a father for his sister? Blessings? No! This doesn't make any sense. Let him grow up first.

It's the family's prerogative to make a decision, but this particular decision isn't advisable and shouldn't be accepted as a norm.

BluntCrazeMan:
In a situation where all of these persons you mentioned are not available,, should any male person from the extended family do the honours, whereas there is a young male inside the immediate family.??

The question is, what exactly is the purpose of these honours at weddings?

DestinedForGrea:
The fact that people have the right to their decisions doesn't mean we shouldn't identify and correct something that is unreasonable.

He's a male by nature, but isn't a man yet. So he's not yet capable of standing in as a father figure in cases like this. What has he learned about life? What has he learned about marriage?

Are you saying that he should be the one blessing the marriage since he's standing in as a father for his sister? Blessings? No! This doesn't make any sense. Let him grow up first.

It's the family's prerogative to make a decision, but this particular decision isn't advisable and shouldn't be accepted as a norm.

Ok though

But boys of that age are sworn in as kings nowadays, what do you think...?

This is irritating to be honest.

Chilipepper:
A touching photo has gone viral, capturing the emotional moment a young boy represented his late father during his elder sister’s traditional wedding in Umuahia, Abia State. The heartfelt gesture moved many, symbolizing love, remembrance, and family unity.

Is there no elder in the family? Just thinking aloud because this act is usually performed by the eldest person in the family not necessarily the bride's father dead or alive. I'm just asking I know tradition varies from place to place.

Ogbodavies:
Igbo amaka

Wrong! This is not igbo culture except that boy is the eldest male person in the kindred.

reiddecuti:
Death is bad. It's one thing you never wish to anyone, not even onto your enemies.



Death forces boys to become men by force, shouldering responsibilities they never attained for.

Not wrong.

It happened when my cousin was getting married. His dad, my uncle had passed a long time ago, almost 30yrs. We were all very young then. My dad, his younger brother also passed on as well 2 other uncles.

It was my younger brother, a more younger person to my cousin who was getting married, that stood in as his father.

DestinedForGrea:
The question is, what exactly is the purpose of these honours at weddings?

The honours is actually called “the Owner of the lady”.
(“onye nwe nnwa” in Igbo).

The person who performs that rite gets the share of the “Father of the bride” from the bridal items the in-laws brought for the traditional wedding.

..

So,, it is not good for any male in the extended family to lay such a claim as the “owner” of the Lady..
It must be a male from inside the closer family.

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

Your culture is not everyone else's culture..
Just because it's Igbo doesn't mean every Town is the same.

Barteze:
Wrong! This is not igbo culture except that boy is the eldest male person in the kindred.

Igboland doesn't have a single homogeneous culture when it comes to marriage.

Every Town has their way of doing the marriage ceremony.

DestinedForGrea:
The fact that people have the right to their decisions doesn't mean we shouldn't identify and correct something that is unreasonable.

He's a male by nature, but isn't a man yet. So he's not yet capable of standing in as a father figure in cases like this. What has he learned about life? What has he learned about marriage?

Are you saying that he should be the one blessing the marriage since he's standing in as a father for his sister? Blessings? No! This doesn't make any sense. Let him grow up first.

It's the family's prerogative to make a decision, but this particular decision isn't advisable and shouldn't be accepted as a norm.

Each Town has their way of doing things and it's all subjective..

Nowhere is it written that something not done in a particular way is null and void and would be devoid of blessings.

It will be pure hubris to think that your own way of doing things is the only right way..

donbenie:
Igboland doesn't have a single homogeneous culture when it comes to marriage.

Every Town has their way of doing the marriage ceremony.

This is news to me. Well we learn every day but this act is certainly not an igbo culture but as the saying goes if wrongdoing persists for a long period of time it becomes a tradition.

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

If fi no get any of the above nko ?

Man of the house take it or leave it. Nothing change tradition

KingAzubuike:
Wrong.
Its supposed to be the immediate younger brother of the late father.

A situation where the late father doesn't have a younger brother, his immediate elder brother should stand. If he doesn't have then his father should stand.

So the brothers are a more representative of him than his son, right?

Same way i stood for my junior last yr as his father..may God bless his union amen 🙏

Ruggedity supercedes, his ancestors are rugged

Boy don become man instantly! May God continue to be with and assist all fathers and father-figures attending to their responsibilities!!!

Her mum is beautiful

donbenie:
Each Town has their way of doing things and it's all subjective..

Nowhere is it written that something not done in a particular way is null and void and would be devoid of blessings.

It will be pure hubris to think that your own way of doing things is the only right way..

I'll reiterate, the fact that people have the right to make their decisions doesn't mean we shouldn't identify and correct things that are unreasonable.

Way back in history, the Efik people considered the birth of twins as a taboo and that always led to the killing of twins after birth, until Mary Slessor stepped in.

Now based on your ideology, would you say those people should have continued with their way of living, simply because it's their culture? Just because something is accepted as a tradition and a norm in a particular culture doesn't make it reasonable.

It's unreasonable for a kid who knows next to nothing about life to stand in as a father figure, especially in a case as serious as marriage.

BluntCrazeMan:
The honours is actually called “the Owner of the lady”.
(“onye nwe nnwa” in Igbo).

The person who performs that rite gets the share of the “Father of the bride” from the bridal items the in-laws brought for the traditional wedding.

..

So,, it is not good for any male in the extended family to lay such a claim as the “owner” of the Lady..
It must be a male from inside the closer family.

What does "owner of the lady" mean?

Newfoundlove:
Ok though

But boys of that age are sworn in as kings nowadays, what do you think...?

Yes, but so they have the capability to make decrees over the community?

DestinedForGrea:
What does "owner of the lady" mean?

Father-Figure..

Someone who owns the lady and takes responsibility for her..

And that's the person who hands her over to the father-figure of the husband..
Who now hands the lady over to the husband.

BluntCrazeMan:
Father-Figure..

Someone who owns the lady and takes responsibility for her..

And that's the person who hands her over to the father-figure of the husband..
Who now hands the lady over to the husband.

Thank you for your patience in answering my questions.

In your definition, the person who owns the lady is responsible for her. So how is a little kid who can't even take care of himself be responsible for a grown lady who is about to get married? Or does that have a different meaning?

DestinedForGrea:
Thank you for your patience in answering my questions.

In your definition, the person who owns the lady is responsible for her. So how is a little kid who can't even take care of himself be responsible for a grown lady who is about to get married? Or does that have a different meaning?

SYMBOLICALLY.!!