₦airaland Forum

My father is the best. Women are possessive and manipulative.

Let's not shy away from the truth. 90 percent of children love their mothers because the moms are soft, manipulative and tell their children the father's weakness. For instance a woman will easily quarrel or nag her husband in presence of the children.
They are more likely to tell their children the sacrifices they màke for them. A man will naturally not tell his kids what he goes through to provide for the family... I've seen that countless times.

obembet:
I believe most of us love our Parents equally but, we tend to be a little closer showing our Mother our love better. But why in some homes the children after making it in life come back to take better care of their moms than their dads?

Of course, I know that some fathers are what I call deadbeat dads who must have bottles of beers every evening at the expense of hungry children.

But there are alot of father out there who care so much about Thier children.

Another thing we need to understand is that Nothing brings a man more happiness than having a successful son, seeing his son surpass him. In this context, fathers often raise their sons with a firm hand, instilling lessons through tough love and challenging environments. But many of us don't see this, we only focus on hash and hard training.

Many children still don't know that some moms manipulate the children emotionally to believe they care for them more than their fathers do.

My TAKE

As a father, apart from been a responsible father, father should always try to provide things what their children want and give it to them directly. Father should no allow someone else to take Thier efforts glory.

Also, Give your kids hugs, kisses, hold hands, rub their backs, or snuggle with them. Let the children see this.

Most of nowadays mother are selfish and only care about themselves alone

Source: obembet

How many women have you seen walk out of their kids because a man didn't give them peace of mind? Or because she "wasn't ready?"

Keep deceiving yourselves and not work on yourselves as men.

You think kids are fools?

Davido paid 1.6bn for ring to propose to chioma but pay 5 million house rent for imade he refused. Tomorrow if imade loves the mother more it's a problem for you guys.

A single mom will risk the shame, scorn and risk being single for life just to care for a child.

And many will refuse to abandon their kids at the request of their new man.

Many men tell them to drop their kid with their family in they want marriage,they.will refuse and risk losing the suitor.

And you expect a father that shows up only when convenient for him (if he even helps at all) to be given the same treatment and love as the mother?

Dey play

ibedun:
Just stay calm and continue what you’re doing. If you make any extra cash please buy land and start your building little by little. Keep any extra money for yourself and your future.
You and that woman may not make it to old age, and that is okay!!! This is 2025, nobody belongs to you. A woman (including your wife) is NOT your property !!!

To make matter worse, we are both leaving in our sites though uncompleted, and I'm not capable of getting another site for now, to finish this one too is hard for this economy.
Thanks sir for your advice.

pocohantas:
In most cases, no mother is manipulating any child to believe they care for them more. Every child would grow to figure out their parents. As a parent, your child would figure you out someday. Then they will quietly pick a side.

When the kids are good to their father, I haven't seen anyone accusing the mother of manipulating the kids to love him. Neither do they accuse the father of manipulating the kids to hate their mother. But when it is other way, it is the mother.

Many of the guys ranting online do not rate their fathers highly and their mothers have nothing to do with it.

Momma-worship is fuelled mostly by MEN. You hear things like, 1) no one can love you more than your mother. 2) You can insult me anyhow, but if you insult my mother, blood will flow. 3) I want to make my mother proud. 4) If I make money, I will spoil my mum, that woman done too suffer.

I have seen even hardened redpillers make these aforementioned statements with same mouth they use to say no woman can love you. Are their mothers not women? #Logic101

Why don't they ever show this level of loyalty and passion to their fathers since they know fathers are sweet? Not too long ago, there was a Twitter thread of guys insulting their friend's late father. It was mostly men endorsing it. They said it is brotherhood condolence. Something they wouldn't tolerate if their mother was the dead one.

Father's Day, rather than go offline to make it memorable for their fathers, they will stay online, jumping from one vag**a topic to the other and blaming feminism. Whereas 99% haven't called their fathers in 1month.


**********************

Please leave women alone on this overflogged topic. Start from your fathers. Show them love. Start singing of how no woman comes close to your father. Until then, male advocacy remains a reaction to female's. Never as a standalone or genuine love or concern for themselves.

These is an old manipulated words. No one falls for it any longer.

The sensitization is on based on the manipulative nature of mothers

Men tends to appreciate their fathers more, after they themselves become a father.

Tonididdyx:
This topic honestly brings tears to my eyes


My daughter will be 4yrs old next month. Right from birth our bond as a father-daughter has being rock solid even though my marriage wasn't.

She calls me papa and sometimes dada which everyone finds so sweet considering it's not a common slang for young kids to call their fathers ( and most sweetly she says it with a special tone/phonetics, so much so some persons nicknamed her Chinese 🤣and ask this your daughter na oyibo oh)

Once I pass the door, she will run coming and will grab whatever am holding in hand and when I don't have anything for her, she will come rest on my chest once she sees me resting, she had absolutely no time for her mama.

In simple laymans term, if everyone was forcing my daughter to chew stone, she'll refuse but if I come in the scene and ask her to chew a stone in my hand, she will gulp it at once. That was our bond, she trusted me so much and at any given instance will always remind me she loves me.... I love you papa and my heart go just melt.


Fast forward to last 3 weeks, I had a verbal confrontation with her mother in her presence and went as far as giving her mom a slap to the face and it turned into a shirt-grip match, so angry ( I didn't even realise the impact this scene will have on my once beautiful papas girl)


Well... My wife moved out immediately after that ( there was so much anger I couldn't think and I watched my daughter go away with my wife) spending a night without my angel and I realised what the days ahead will look like, I immediately went in to apology mode.

When I will call to speak with my daughter, she will refuse to come yo the phone, video calls she will just be starring at me and not say a word. My angel
After the call I would cry because I miss her so much. I kept making contacts with her but she just changed overnight ( I never suspected my actions could mean this harm or that a 3yrs old heart could be poisoned)
Till this moment.... She has started to open up a bit after forced conversations over the phone and when I go to see her at her mothers with gifts for her
But every night is misery for me, she will never sleep in her bed but mine, she had half my heart and I wonder how she's coping, if I can't even cope.
As for I and my wife, I don't think we are ever coming back.
She has spoken of co parenting but lately she's not taking my calls anymore, she really wantsy daughter to forcefully get over me, as for my 11months old son, he's the complete opposite of my daughter relationship wise, he's a mamas boy since birth.

What an arsehole you are.

dauntless15:
Well in my dad's case it's not because he's too busy hustling, he just doesn't know anything about me, infact when he's around everyone tends to become quiet, like if the house is lively and he comes back, everywhere suddenly becomes moody, we grew apart that's all, I don't want to say much but we're practically strangers and it's hard to get along with him.

I pray you do better for your kids and May your dad's soul rest peace. Carry his name and legacies with pride and fulfillment

I won’t contribute to this. I’ve seen answers identifying the cause in my own case. The problem is that millennials and even Gen Z will make the same mistake. Honestly, all that matters is the children’s growth. If they successfully made it to adulthood, both parents did a good job.

dauntless15:
Well in my dad's case it's not because he's too busy hustling, he just doesn't know anything about me, infact when he's around everyone tends to become quiet, like if the house is lively and he comes back, everywhere suddenly becomes moody, we grew apart that's all, I don't want to say much but we're practically strangers and it's hard to get along with him.

This is how alot of them are. They act like militants in their households and alienate everybody.

Then decades later: *pretend to be shocked*

PriceActionZ:
Mother are closer to children most times while papa goes out to hustle, sometimes for days. In the course of those outings, he can get distracted along the line with other women, so giving lesser attention to his home. Even the one with no extra affairs still get abandoned. So in the process, women can be speaking bad of their father in children's presence while the father is away and likely unknown to him. It's mostly a continuous situation. Women like comfort life, they will do anything to get kids to their side when things get sweeter unless as a father you no gree and fight back before things get worse..

Same applicable to some women, when they leave their kids earlier and they are bond to their father. But most times it's the father own always at the bad end.

children especially males will understand n appreciate their father when they get married n start Ving children of their own.Women r more loyal to survival than loyalty.Daughters r more closer to their fathers bcoz as a woman they understand their their mothers manipulative tendencies at younger age.

Because the men in the past tend not to be emotionally and physically present fathers. I have people who like their dads than their mum's because of their personalities they were hands on fathers while the children were younger and stayed close to their children while they grow up.
You don't just only 'provide' and just put your legs on the table the only time the children see you is to act like Jackie chan and be shouting and handing out punishments.
Let's not even talk about those that maltreat their wives and abandon their families.

Don't even say men go out to hustle bla bla nonsense, how many of you had mothers who only slept at home all day? Most of these women worked yet still created time to tend to the children. They are the first to wake up and last to sleep to ensure everyone is ok and the home is settled yet still work in professions.

The father's of today some of them still have not learnt and are following their bad predecessors footsteps. You don't act like armed military man with your wives and children and expect them to like you more. My children don't send me once they see their dad, most children especially girls are that way when younger it is how the man keeps the relationship as they grow older than influences things

[b]Because most men are mumu when it comes to children affairs. They Would risked everything to make life easier for their children but will handover every resources gather through the risk of life to their wife who would pay for children birthday cake, school fees, clothing and others and because they spent these resources while also always available to attend every event involving their children like when a brilliant child getting gifs in school End of year parties. These solidifies greater bond with between mums and children all these while the man who is behind it all is somewhere sweating to make more money. Alas! Some women would kuku nail the fate of their husbands to coffin by manipulating their children making it all seems like they have irresponsible father.
Dear men, find time out of no time to be the one who make payments for your children school fees, clothes and everything possible. Even if you have no time to attend his birthdays and school events when your children are growing up, let them know how much time you spend at work. They will understand.
Now that I'm a father, I love my parents just equally.[/b]

masterfactor:
That is how nature intended it to be, A mother carrys a child for 9 month, the child eat from what she eat, the mother supplied all the needed nutrients for the child to develop, when it time for the child to leave the womb, it the mother that pushed it out, the first cry is heard by the mother, the mother is the first face the child see, it the mother that breast feed the child, put the child on her back, for the first 5 years of the child life, it the mother that's in it and you say the child should not be more connected to the mother. As a father just do your best for your child and never compete for a child love against the mother. No matter how bad a mother is, the child will always love the mother

So true and educative

dauntless15:
Raising children requires emotional connection as well, normally the person who's always there is the one you tend to be close to, and it's easy to form an emotional connection to the ever present one, providing for your children alone isn't enough you need to be emotionally available as well, I could tell my mom anything, it's as if she's a fellow guy, including my dating life, but my dad, he literally knows nothing about me, infact throughout your life he might not ask you how was your day even once, lol, if I ever become a dad I'd do the opposite of everything my dad did.

Become the dad first. But meanwhile, love your dad and draw closer to him despite his negative side he is still your father. Love does not wait... LOVE NOW!!

balingaonline:
Is like the poster of this topic know what is going on in my home, my wife just decided to have quarrel with me without any small point or reason. We have 3 children together (2 boys and a girl) my wife's mother who has been a supporter of her bad behavior is leaving 3 streets to our house, when the children are coming back from school they always go to their grandma's house, sometimes they will eat lunch and super there (not because we don't have food in the house, but because she not always around, when she around she loves them to be with her), when their mother is coming from shop she'll pick them from there, but since when my wife has started her problem, our first born who's 11yrs old boy refused to be going there, he will wait for me alone in the house till I return from work, which is not going well with his mother, she is not cooking our food (me & him), she don't want any of our children to see me as a good father despite doing all my possible best, I'm the one paying their school fees and feeding, she is only assisting in buying them school sanders and sometimes clothes, she has been doing rivalry with her son in the house, even cordial relationship between our children has been reducing due to her behavior. I have been always proof to be a good father to my children, we play together especially computer game and I don't shout or beat them unnecessary, what has been my fear now is that the two children (boy 8 and girl 3) what will be their reaction when they grow up, how they will know that their mother and grandmother are only doing what they can do to let them see me as a bad father. I can't be dragging the steering with their mother for now because I don't want the issue to escalate.

Wise son...he can read in-between the lines

See advice from people wey never marry, wey never born pikin.
Childless puppy guys and childless cat ladies in Vance voice.
U no go ever understand wetin ur papa go through till you don marry then born your own pikin, na dat time u go wise.
I get 2 wives, 5 children including a set of twin girls.
The truth of the matter be say, once u impregnate your wife and she born, just knowsay all that love and attention no dey ur side again.
Those children go dey receive maximum attention from your wife and you go be 2nd class citizen inside your own house.
Just dey bring money for school fees, hospital bills, vacation and other expenses.
That's what is needed of you plus your pecker 3x a week.
One time, I go my papa house, go stay there with am 1 full month, im begin dey laff me, say na so God make am.
Say make I no try marry 3rd wife, say na same thing go happen.

Na until u marry get pikin, na then u go understand your papa.
U go understand say from maternity till graduation na him spend everything but na your mama your heart dey beat for, now wey u don be man.
No ever neglect ur papa, even if u no get, try dey call am for phone.
Some people dey dis life right now wey if their papa tell dem to refund everything wey im don spend from maternity till date, they cannot refund.
No be small money my brothers and sisters.
Human investment.
Some people dey dis life wey their papa dey regret im investment, e for better take am chop isiewu and drink palmy.

It's a rigged game. Mothers usually spend more time with the children in their formative years. Most responsible fathers are out struggling to make ends meet. I've seen some mothers turn their children against their fathers. I've also seen where mothers defend and tell the children good things about their father even when he's not physically present. The summary is that, mothers determine children's perception of their fathers to a large extent.

Tonididdyx:
This topic honestly brings tears to my eyes


My daughter will be 4yrs old next month. Right from birth our bond as a father-daughter has being rock solid even though my marriage wasn't.

She calls me papa and sometimes dada which everyone finds so sweet considering it's not a common slang for young kids to call their fathers ( and most sweetly she says it with a special tone/phonetics, so much so some persons nicknamed her Chinese 🤣and ask this your daughter na oyibo oh)

Once I pass the door, she will run coming and will grab whatever am holding in hand and when I don't have anything for her, she will come rest on my chest once she sees me resting, she had absolutely no time for her mama.

In simple laymans term, if everyone was forcing my daughter to chew stone, she'll refuse but if I come in the scene and ask her to chew a stone in my hand, she will gulp it at once. That was our bond, she trusted me so much and at any given instance will always remind me she loves me.... I love you papa and my heart go just melt.


Fast forward to last 3 weeks, I had a verbal confrontation with her mother in her presence and went as far as giving her mom a slap to the face and it turned into a shirt-grip match, so angry ( I didn't even realise the impact this scene will have on my once beautiful papas girl)


Well... My wife moved out immediately after that ( there was so much anger I couldn't think and I watched my daughter go away with my wife) spending a night without my angel and I realised what the days ahead will look like, I immediately went in to apology mode.

When I will call to speak with my daughter, she will refuse to come yo the phone, video calls she will just be starring at me and not say a word. My angel
After the call I would cry because I miss her so much. I kept making contacts with her but she just changed overnight ( I never suspected my actions could mean this harm or that a 3yrs old heart could be poisoned)
Till this moment.... She has started to open up a bit after forced conversations over the phone and when I go to see her at her mothers with gifts for her
But every night is misery for me, she will never sleep in her bed but mine, she had half my heart and I wonder how she's coping, if I can't even cope.
As for I and my wife, I don't think we are ever coming back.
She has spoken of co parenting but lately she's not taking my calls anymore, she really wantsy daughter to forcefully get over me, as for my 11months old son, he's the complete opposite of my daughter relationship wise, he's a mamas boy since birth.

Which state are you both from
Secondly, don't worry just keep been a nice and God fearing guy
Thirdly, you should not have hit your wife, though sometimes it looks like they truly deserve a slap
Fourthly, your daughter will get over it... But, i am sure they are working on her.
Your son is only an infant, don't judge him yet.

nairalanda1:
Because in the animal kingdom, it's the mother in most species that raise the young.

The father's role is to mate, and then go away. He won't recognize the offspring most of the time.

( And sometimes the mother eats the father after mating, so the children don't know their dad lol. Prime example is the praying mantis)

Some species have both parents jointly raise the child eg some bird species

Omo

Glistinin:
Na mostly men dey do this rubbish(placing one parent above the other).
Go to social media and see how they are all about mommy worship while acting like their fathers are inconsequential forgetting that they will be fathers tomorrow.

I believe u are a man too.. u will soon understand

simpleseyi:
You can’t explain it. They will never understand.

Life is just unfair to man

Iweakbro:
The good thing is that you're a man.

God bless u bro, leave Numerouno94 alone, he will soon understand what man is

Numerouno94:
Yeah, I leta figured it out that he wasn't being stingy, rather was being careful wit his finances so the family won't be lacking or go broke. As I begin hussle as a man and paying my bills I began to understand everything Popsy did, he did for the best. But all that naturally drew me close to mom.

Thanks for your understanding bro.. but dad deserves same love seriously

Focusmind:
Surprisingly, my children are closer to me than their mom. I play lots of roles in their lives, which they see. I take them to school; do assignments with them; take them to church; take them out; attend to all their schools requests, including parental and open day visits; iron their clothes; put them through life lessons. They hardly make any request to their mom. Everything is about me. They hardly discuss anything concerning their education or school with their mom. They must wait for me. I hardly see them make requests about where they want to go; assistance with school work or when sick to their mom. It's me. When sick or not feeling fine, I will be the first to be told except when I am not around. However, the mom carries on with the nursing aspect of their care when sick till full recovery. It's all about getting involved in their total formation and development

How did u do this? Does your work gives u time like that or u earn more than 6 digits

Kelvin3476:
These is an old manipulated words. No one falls for it any longer.

The sensitization is on based on the manipulative nature of mothers

So it is mother's that warn sons not to celebrate them on father's day?

Be using brain na

Mother that will come to the children's room and anoint them in the middle of night..It is just the fact children tends to love mother than father and if the mother is now manipulative Oga it is finished!!!!!!

Mothers are very close to their children

nairalanda1:
Because in the animal kingdom, it's the mother in most species that raise the young.

The father's role is to mate, and then go away. He won't recognize the offspring most of the time.

( And sometimes the mother eats the father after mating, so the children don't know their dad lol. Prime example is the praying mantis)

Some species have both parents jointly raise the child eg some bird species

I want to completely disagree with your stand on this point. Women are technically manipulative. They tend to condone anything from their children at their detriment if the children are not careful. But fathers will correct you either you want it or not. children don't want this at all times. So they love their mothers who condone them most.

Our mothers in the olden days would leave the punishment of their erring children till their fathers were back from work. Technically, they were painting the father as a bad person. Men should use their brains when it comes to child training now or else your children will be manipulated against you when you don't have the strength to take care of yourself.

Just like the case of Buffalo, The male Buffalo would protect the mother Buffalo and their calves. They are within them when they are still very strong and agile. But when they are old, they expel their males out of their company because he doesn't have power to protect them again. When they needed help, he provided it but when he needed he he would be chased away. This leads eventually to the male Buffalo's death either killed by lions or he dies of starvation.

It is well with male folks o. Let's use our brains when dealing with our children.

Omoluabi16:
My kids don't have to love me more than their mother. They only have to love me too, and I'm okay with that. They just have to understand my sacrifices, my efforts, and the reason for my absence if necessary. No be competition.
Is 9 months a joke to you? Plus the 1st 4-5 years where children is almost fully dependent on their mother. That is life's deal to men. Just play your part fully and you won't regret it later.

Wisdom

After carrying a child in the womb for nine months, went into labor room, nursed the child from baby to adult. Why won't the child love the mother more than the father?