₦airaland Forum

Holycity:
I may leave mine soon

May I ask why you are considering such move?

Kobojunkie:
Did he equally regale you with stories of his own harlotry as well?

Maybe I will ask him when I take his Okada ride next time. Time no reach to even finish his wife story. I kuku no ask am, na one useless Olosho wey dey carry pointed tits and bum-short waka for road we take start the gist.

Starz825:
Its a serious issue tbh

even relationship is not the way they used to be now

i have come to notice a thing

men should also learn how to live alone

for some women...its not always abt that the man doesnt have money to offer them.

its about her ego, pride, beauty, money, her hunger for independence from a man.


Once a woman is pretty and rich and probably has a child or 2........SHE WANTS INDEPENDENCE!!

Most women are still with their hubby cos may be they are poor, cant bisect life alone and all... not really cos they love their hubby

From your write up, it is obvious the problem is not mostly men but women.
Too much option is as bad as no option.
People tend not to take things serious if they don't need to invest sweat before getting it and if it is easy to get another one unlike men.
Most men marry not because of what they can get from a woman rather, ready to put in the work unlike women.
There is a direct relationship between job loses and divorce.
If we experience a global recession today and millions of men lose their jobs, within 1-4 years, divorce rate will go up - meaning most women never love men rather what they can get from men.
It has always been like that though. My grandpa didn't marry my grandma because of love rather he could provide as a cocoa farmer and she is meant to be subservient to him and they had a longer and better relationship.

emmaodet:
From your write up, it is obvious the problem is not mostly men but women.
Too much option is as bad as no option.
People tend not to take things serious if they don't need to invest sweat before getting it and if it is easy to get another one unlike men.
Most men marry not because of what they can get from a woman rather, ready to put in the work unlike women.
There is a direct relationship between job loses and divorce.
If we experience a global recession today and millions of men lose their jobs, within 1-4 years, divorce rate will go up - meaning most women never love men rather what they can get from men.
It has always been like that though. My grandpa didn't marry my grandma because of love rather he could provide as a cocoa farmer and she is meant to be subservient to him and they had a longer and better relationship.

On point bro...

Everydaylove:
If you have a failed marriage with kid/kids pls don't remarry. It's not worth.it It's an opportunity for you to take your life back and enjoy it to the full.

Exactly - Just enjoy your life to the fullest like the way women would do.
Follow tour groups to rwanda ffor a week for 1.8m once a year, east africa tour - Uganda, tanzania, kenya for 2m, etc
Play golf, tennis, swim, gym, cinema etc
You will just be looking fresh and poking ladies without the needed stress of keeping any.
There is so much to enjoy for men yet they are eager to run back to marriage after divorce

sharpwriter:
Lol.. Hilarious where did you get this?

My brother from experience.

okeke6969:
➜Staying in marriage got no formula. If you are still with your partner, thank God and if you are separated, give God the glory. Good behaviour, faithfulness, submission, plenty money, good life and what have you cannot bond 2 different people. What will be, will be, if you think otherwise, I owe you no penny.

So, it is OK for the men to take after their ancestor, Adam, but not OK for women to take after Eve? You religious nutjobs are just ridiculous in the way you reason your lives. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

90% of them can walk out because they already have where to go. That gender don't walk away easily without plan B

Holycity:
I may leave mine soon

What are your reasons madam?

Mysteriousworld:
I can't count the number of people that told me their wife left them this year of 2025 alone.
As at yesterday, it was my vulcanizer that said his wife left with 2 kids 3 weeks ago, while I was discussing with a friend about another friend whose wife just left in February 2025.

This my friends case pained me, because the girl doesnt deserve him, he sent her to school , got a job for her in a bank, and she left just like that, my friend wanted to run mad, this is a very cool guy.

The way Satan used woman against man in the beginning, I see him sweeping women alot in this end time , I blame social media alot.
In most cases, they have no loyalty.
This is getting too much.

My advice to men about to get married, pls don't do court marriage, if at all you decide to marry.
And preferably, don't marry a broke girl.... So you don't loose on all sides, if she has money, and she is submissive, that is good, the broke submissive one will change after you put the ring on her.

It's worrisome though, the rate of women walking out of their marriages.
It is well in Jesus Christ name, Amen!

Wife A left, wife B left with no single reason why they left stated?? How do we judge the situation properly?

Marriage does not automatically last it takes continuous work, effort and better logical and emotional understanding of ur partner.

Kobojunkie:
So, it is OK for the men to take after their ancestor, Adam, but not OK for women to take after Eve? You religious nutjobs are just ridiculous in the way you reason your lives. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Go and sit down idiot, my comment does to welcome a homosapiens bastard..go hang urself, better still, sniper is there for you to gulp.
Nincompoop.

okeke6969:
➜Go and sit down idiot, my comment does to welcome a homosapiens bastard..go hang urself, better still, sniper is there for you to gulp. Nincompoop.

Hang myself because of a retarded comment from a religious nutjob? 😂😂😂😂😂

rapheal5:
It’s almost impossible to find a lady who has money and be submissive, if you find one, trust me she’s either in her late 30’s or 40’s desperate to have a child and the moment she got what she want say bye bye to submission…Marriage is becoming a bondage, it takes excess patience and a bit of LANDE for a man to make marriage work…

A bit of LANDE bawo nitori Olohun

Slimplush:
See how you input a Daft comparison... No reply from me shaaa!!

I’d reply with an explanation, but I fear your brain would overheat from the effort.

OZIOGU1:
and i must say that, they new olosho in town are married women, trust me the rate is alarming, but las las, na man wey loseguard go suffer for woman hand.

Though this shouldn't come as a surprise.

The girls/ladies sleeping around yesterday, who were not faithful to their boyfriends yesterday are today's wives....Abi them go mould different women send come down for men to marry ni?
The women had a wrong foundation during their youth ages that is manifesting now.
So also, the girls you are seeing on dating sites, tik-toks, hotels, multi-dating and sleeping with yahoo-boys, politicians etc are going to be the randy unfaithful wives in 10 years time.
You can't plant apples and be expecting tomatoes.
Marriage nor wedding doesn't change people....if you smoke igbo before marriage, wedding won't change it.
If you are a yahoo boy / scammer before marriage, wedding won't change it
If you are a hired killer before marriage, wedding won't change it.
So why will wedding or marriage change a Hoe?

Kobojunkie:
Vashti did not fail in her duties. She was instead married to a sick man and refused to debase herself.

Yes, in the actual context, the king seems to be the irresponsible and wrong one, but we don’t know the laws of the kingdom, perhaps no one was expected or allowed to refuse an order from the king. The law is the law.

Merry100:
➜Yes, in the actual context, the king seems to be the irresponsible and wrong one, but we don’t know the laws of the kingdom, perhaps no one was expected or allowed to refuse an order from the king. The law is the law.

There was no law stated in the story that required Vashti to submit herself to such humiliation. Also, the fact that she lost the queenship may have not been as terrible a loss as those in the religious circle like to pretend in their religiously convenient narratives, considering the customs of the courts seemed like one no sane woman would wish to submit herself to unless there was a need to.

Kobojunkie:
Vashti did not fail in her duties. She was instead married to a sick man and refused to debase herself.

With how controversial you are, you still dey make sense at times.

But this your comment shows how stup!d and senseless you are. In fact you dey mad and whatever western ideology that drives your mentality has clearly destroyed you.

To cap it all, you are a destroyer of good things (you may not know this).

Your supposed intelligence is actually foolishness and it is clear that you do not understand the universe wherein you exist not to talk of understanding ancient history in correspondence with the evolvement of the human race from then till the modern times!

To cap it all, you are a destroyer of good things (you may not know this).

Kobojunkie:
There was no law stated in the story that required Vashti to submit herself to such humiliation. Also, the fact that she lost the queenship may have not been as terrible a loss as those in the religious circle like to pretend in their religiously convenient narratives, considering the customs of the courts seemed like one no sane woman would wish to submit herself to unless there was a need to.

I agree that no sane woman should submit herself to humiliation, but given the historical and political realities of her time, it is uncertain whether Vashti viewed her removal as queen as a relief or a loss - this is simply a matter of interpretation.

The reaction of the king’s advisors in Esther 1:15-18 suggests that her defiance was seen as unacceptable or a serious breach of royal protocol.

Merry100:
➜I agree that no sane woman should submit herself to humiliation, but given the historical and political realities of her time, it is uncertain whether Vashti viewed her removal as queen as a relief or a loss - this is simply a matter of interpretation.
➜The reaction of the king’s advisors in Esther 1:15-18 suggests that her defiance was seen as unacceptable or a serious breach of royal protocol.

1. The historical and political realities of her time are what led me to consider she must have been aware of the potential consequences of her actions before making that very decision that night.

2. The drunken state of the King at the time, and the historical and political realities of the time, equally lead me to consider that they may have merely told the King what they believed he may have wanted to hear.

Kobojunkie:
1. The historical and political realities of her time are what led me to consider she must have been aware of the potential consequences of her actions before making that very decision that night.

2. The drunken state of the King at the time, and the historical and political realities of the time, equally lead me to consider that they may have merely told the King what they believed he may have wanted to hear.

Your point is valid, but consider this perspective: while Vashti may have been aware of the potential consequences before refusing the king's command, she might not have expected the actual outcome.

Throughout history, people have defied authority knowing the risks, but not all of them anticipated a drastic outcome or viewed it as beneficial.

The advisors may have told the king what they believed he wanted to hear in his drunken state like you suggested, but if Vashti’s defiance was not severe, there would have been no need to make such a spectacle out of it. Her actions must have been viewed as disruptive enough to warrant her removal.

Holycity:
I may leave mine soon

lest Catch up in Maitama or Perly Gate at Itu road...Whayasay

Merry100:
✓ Your point is valid, but consider this perspective: while Vashti may have been aware of the potential consequences before refusing the king's command, she might not have expected the actual outcome.
Throughout history, people have defied authority knowing the risks, but not all of them anticipated a drastic outcome or viewed it as beneficial.
The advisors may have told the king what they believed he wanted to hear in his drunken state like you suggested, but if Vashti’s defiance was not severe, there would have been no need to make such a spectacle out of it. Her actions must have been viewed as disruptive enough to warrant her removal.

We could on with the coulda, woulda, shouldas here, you know. The point which I made in the beginning remains which is that Vashti did nothing morally wrong and religion is in the wrong for vilifying her.

Kobojunkie:
We could on with the coulda, woulda, shouldas here, you know. The point which I made in the beginning remains which is that Vashti did nothing morally wrong and religion is in the wrong for vilifying her.

Only you truly understand what you are getting at. Religion is not vilifying Vashti. The story primarily focuses on how Esther saved the Jews. The king in question was not even a Jewish king, and the narrative does not center on judging whether he was right or wrong.

Merry100:
➜Only you truly understand what you are getting at. Religion is not vilifying Vashti. The story primarily focuses on how Esther saved the Jews. The king in question was not even a Jewish king, and the narrative does not center on judging whether he was right or wrong.

The notion that Vashti made a bad decision does not come from the book which instead reveals the woman, likely a politically-minded one at that, decided that she was likely aware of the political and historical implications. The source of the narrative that Vashti was not a good woman or that she did wrong comes solely from religion.

Daniel equally defined Darius' orders at one time, clearly aware of the implications but was fortunately saved from the consequence of his action by His God. Why do the same religious horde not condemn Daniel for defying the king's orders in much the same way as it vilifies Vashti's defiance of the King's order? Why is Daniel celebrated among the religious for doing pretty much what Daniel -- whom they celebrate --- did? You and I know the reason for this, even though something tells me you would rather argue blindly against the obvious.

Basicend:
Most of these issues come from stereotypes obtained from Social Media contents.

Reality is different.

For a marriage to be sustained, the man must perfect the art loving the woman, and the woman must learnt without strivings to honour the man.

The bolded pillars are very important.

Lastly, the hand of God must be upon it with His blessings, making the winds of life not to shred it to pieces.

You are part of the problem. You interpret the bible the way you like.
Why didn't you ask wives to submit? You ate diluting the word of God.

This shouldn't cause so much uproar na.
Shebi men do not benefit from marriage?

Anyway, if you ask me.
I will say staying with anyone requires a lot of patience and forgiveness. I am not saying you intentionally hurt your partner o, but we are humans and bound to make mistakes. Show up everyday determined to make your spouse blessed. It is not even hard. So I don't know why people do the opposite.

If I treat you well and you still act crazy, I let you be and leave judgment for God. 😘

As many are willing to walk out to go become side chicks to other married men with the extra trauma and baggage that comes with it, many are also willing to move in.. So there's always a balance..

essentialone1:
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Why desire for marriage in the first place, if you know you have no intentional commitment to remain in it?

Change is constant in life,you can be completely in love today and by tomorrow some unforeseen circumstances can make you or your partner to change and this could lead to behaviours that could threaten your life or mental wellbeing.

In a situation like that it's best to always choose yourself.

Love is not an easy thing,most times there is a hidden reason or benefit that makes people love each other.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
What do you expect? 🤷🏼
The present economic situation in the country is suffocating.

Is it not easier to face the economic situation as a team than being individuals?

Unless their expenses deliberately go down, theyd still face whatever the economic situation throws at them, married or single

Twoclans:
Change is constant in life, you can be completely in love today and by tomorrow some unforeseen circumstances can make you or your partner to change and this could lead to behaviours that could threaten your life or mental wellbeing.

In a situation like that it's best to always choose yourself.

Love is not an easy thing, most times there is a hidden reason or benefit that makes people love each other.

People who divorce, were never committed to the marriage, in the first place. EOD.

Kobojunkie:
The notion that Vashti made a bad decision does not come from the book which instead reveals the woman, likely a politically-minded one at that, decided that she was likely aware of the political and historical implications. The source of the narrative that Vashti was not a good woman or that she did wrong comes solely from religion.

Daniel equally defined Darius' orders at one time, clearly aware of the implications but was fortunately saved from the consequence of his action by His God. Why do the same religious horde not condemn Daniel for defying the king's orders in much the same way as it vilifies Vashti's defiance of the King's order? Why is Daniel celebrated among the religious for doing pretty much what Daniel -- whom they celebrate --- did? You and I know the reason for this, even though something tells me you would rather argue blindly against the obvious.

After all your relentless nagging, here’s the bottom line: the book that mentions Vashti's story is actually centred around Esther’s impact on the Jews and the book is literally named after Esther.

We cannot compare an entirely different era, culture, and legal system to today’s standards. The king in question was not even a ruler of the Jews, and we don’t know the laws of his kingdom or what was expected of him.

Daniel is a figure of significance. He was a major prophet of his time and deserves the recognition he receives. Jesus even mentioned him in Matthew 24:15. The book that records his experiences even bears his name and primarily focuses on his impact.

I am not interested in discussing or debating about Vashti. I don't consider her a relevant topic of discussion; she wasn’t even Jewish, and her role in Biblical history is minimal. She was simply a queen who was succeeded by Esther. History does not recognize or praise people merely for existing or occupying space.

If this topic is so important to you, I suggest speaking with a pastor or attending a Bible study. I am not a pastor, and this endless back-and-forth is starting to feel like a kindergarten class discussion.