₦airaland Forum

My friend learned this truth hard way.

He spent his money, legal status in the US and his job influence to sponsor a former girlfriend from Nigeria to the US to get a green car. Even with our warning to him, he insisted the girl will never betray him.

Few years upon arrival in the US, this girl set him up with Dallas TX police. My friend was lucky to pull through. Even police officers told him "man to man" to be far away from the lady.

STOP sponsoring women abroad. It hardly ends well for the man.

Date abroad based women.

jaxxy:
➜Some people go for what is beneficial without genuine intentions or offering anything in return. That is what is bad.
➜ I did say only broke people are this way or all broke people are like that but they are more likely to pretend or just forced to act a certain way to get what benefits them.
➜ The pretence intentionally or unintentionally is the problem here.

Offering up their body in return for the benefit is akin to offering nothing. For example, A man agrees to have a woman's body and in return promises her benefits but you want us to believe that even though the contract is fair and agreed upon by both parties, the woman is in the wrong? Why the bias?

2. Again, what is to say that when the rest of us do the same, we are not pretending or acting in a certain way to get what benefits us?

3. Don't we all do something along the same line?

Helpout12345:
➜My friend learned this truth hard way. He spent his money, legal status in the US and his job influence to sponsor a former girlfriend from Nigeria to the US to get a green car. Even with our warning to him, he insisted the girl will never betray him. Few years upon arrival in the US, this girl set him up with Dallas TX police. My friend was lucky to pull through. Even police officers told him "man to man" to be far away from the lady.

Tell us the truth abeg!

HEAVEN4444:
the guy is stupid. You know how long it takes to settle after you Japa ? Takes like 10 years and in her case she will sit many exams. Soon as she settle well well dey earn correct doctor money she come naija come carry her bobo but the emotional werey dey act like small pikin. Troway good thing over small pikin emotions. 37 is not old

Remember u can't do all this whilst still dating your guy... Sh stopped the calls and formally ended the relationship... And blocked the guy for about 9 years.. no single reply on Facebook even after sh read his chats... It was a breakup not trying to settle....

Kobojunkie:
Just imagine the excuse sef!

Very strange man.

Lordbinsmar:
E better to carry woman come from Nigeria ooo.

Naa the one wey meet here self be wahala.

dem go divorce u

Akalia:
So much wisdom. Someone like me my mother is late, who may I use to protect my assets in this context?

You have someone else

Omalicious1:
➜Men aren't loved...they just being manipulated...a few know, majority don't. And the circle repeats

Do these men love? Do you assault and abuse someone you love? Do you treat like property someone you love? Read all those stories up there and you will see that those men equally didn't love those women in their lives. How can you expect to sow apples and reap tangerines?

Kobojunkie:
1. I am suddenly reminded of the class of Nigerian men who keep one family abroad and another young woan tied down with children in Nigeria. This will not work either since we have seen this play out so many times to probably realize that there is a good reason why Nigerian women abroad are cautious about daying Nigerian men abroad.

2. Ah! Do you think women abroad do not learn like Nigerian women in Nigeria? Try that and these abroad women will eventually show you even more lessons of how women can never be toys for men. Do you think they never shine their eyes on that fraud?

At the core of this remains the fact that many Nigeria generally lack as far as social and emotional intelligence is concerned. This is at the core of the many abusive and/or toxic relationships that society condones.

do you think I'll read all that trash you old man?

NokiaN8:
The woman didn't love the man. He used money. So men marry with your head

No single woman on eartnloves a struggling. Man... Once u are struggling, u love the charm that attract a woman.. Eze wa struggling, that is why sh doesn't like him anymore...

Lordbinsmar:
➜E better to carry woman come from Nigeria ooo. Naa the one wey meet here self be wahala.

...

Ebubu:
➜do you think I'll read all that trash you old man?

Even with all that is right in front of your faces, the choice remains whether to carry a woman from Naija or not to carry a woman from Naija? Kai! Nigerians never seem to learn! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

JaskanFactor:
I admire the black mans attempt to live normal life in a world where the white man is working tirelessly to make him extinct. But if all the white mans effort to stop you fail, its your wife or children that will eventually hand you over to the white man. Cause you see all women and children always belongs to those who own the world.

And those who own the world have already warned everybody do not try to settle down in this world if you are not rich, white or black, how much more black poor man trying to settle down in white mans world.

Settling down to get married is not the stuff of a guy who needs to cross desert to get to Europe. Marriage is not even marriage is no longer the stuff of a guy who cant comfortably afford a luxury car or 2.

If you break this rule , all the social and economic instruments are already in place to ensue you pay for it severely.
Cause the biggest enemy of those who own the world is population, especially a black population, and if you trying to start a new black family in a white mans world, better be sure you know what you up against.

His wife handed him over to the same white man who made him have to cross a desert to reach normal life, cause its same white man running NiggerArea from thier embassies ensuring the country remains a zoo with no future for most.

By the time your woman is ashamed of her own hair and buying the white man fur to put on her head, you have had your warning.

Young people dont know we on the planet of those who call us thier enemy, as such most that black man can hope for in this world right now is to find non too painfull exit from this world, this is also now true even for the poor white man, how much more you.

Next time your mind ponders having family, ask yourself what future the children you want to bring will have in a world where the entire population has twice been lined up to take poison jab, first time in 1800s during fake Spanish flu epidemic just before ww1, second time 2020 covid, and its also possible just like during Spanish flu they follow it with ww3, wars whose only purpose is population reduction and human sacrifice, cause they will use the poor peoples children especially black for thier wars of human sacrifice.

So that at this point unless you rich enough , trying to start a family in this world is like eating while people are pissing and shitting all over you.

If you have to struggle to attain normal life, dont forget your women and children belong to the state. If things go south, they will hand you over to the state.

If you know that all of europe, asia and middle east used to be black people, and they all got wiped out leaving only africa which is now in the process of being wiped out too, then you know any poor man trying to start family might have to do so on the run, which is typical scenario when you try to settle down in enemy territory.

All those places where civil servant bandits are killing Nigerians in the north, its foreigners moving into those places.
THats how they wiped out other black population on other continents. And you set off in a nation facing wipe out to try to start family life in the land of those doing the wipe out. Only if you rich enough.

The heritage that gave you the black man the right to spread your seed in this world is lost, now even the poor white man just lost that right too. If you fail to recognise this, both popular culture and ambitions dictate your wife and children will hand you over to the state. Cause eventually your wife and kids will see you as an obstacle to their progress in whatever popular culture has determined the place to be. And all the people that influence popular culture are civil servants, they make look like billionaires, entrepreneurs, musicians actors etc, but dont be fooled, they all civil servants.

Who is this person? Unfortunately most people here will not grasp what you are trying to convey which is why your comments never get any likes. Are you a Nigerian?

bigpicture001:
Remember u can't do all this whilst still dating your guy... Sh stopped the calls and formally ended the relationship... And blocked the guy for about 9 years.. no single reply on Facebook even after sh read his chats... It was a breakup not trying to settle....

oh ok. Him for relax there na. Swallow your pride and chop life with the babe. UK is hard oooo but as a doctor she is on 100 thousand pounds a year. Him for kill him pride follow her chop the money. Someone who came all the way to naija to bring you over

One thing common I've noticed about most men who lose their house to their wives in the UK or were deported from the UK because of their wives is they are mostly men who developed their wives over themselves or men who put their women first before their own life.

They're also similar to under educate or illiterate men in Nigeria who spend all their savings to build a lady for marriage. These simp men should understand that women always need a man they can look up to.

Imagine, how can Eze suffer to make money as an illegal immigrant only to spend almost all the money to sponsor a girl to the UK legally so you can later join the lady as her dependent. For his own family not to open up to him about the girl having a child says alot about his attitude.

HEAVEN4444:
oh ok. Him for relax there na. Swallow your pride and chop life with the babe. UK is hard oooo but as a doctor she is on 100 thousand pounds a year. Him for kill him pride follow her chop the money. Someone who came all the way to naija to bring you over

According to him, the girl tried, when he landed, sh took him in.. dou sh returned to formally marry him in pH...

He stayed at home for almost two months job hunting and the girl drops like 100-150 pound for him everyday... For his job hunt and chop mount as he moves around... Sh moved from a self con to a flat.. dou they don't have child yet.. sh said it's to meet up standard if colleagues at work..

When he got a menial job, 2months later.. he offered to pay the rent that month, the lady just lagged it off but he did.. ND started taking some responsibilities to mk her feel she is contributing... But there is still this discord of your wife being the bread winner of your house, and your wife having dumped u before and only came back not cuz if love but for necessity... He wasn't comfortable......

Kobojunkie:
Do these men love? Do you assault and abuse someone you love? Do you treat like property someone you love? Read all those stories up there and you will see that those men equally didn't love those women in their lives. How can you expect to sow apples and reap tangerines?

Not all the men abused their spouse. Some women also are serial manipulators and selfish

Kobojunkie:
What you are telling us here is that it is the Nigerian woman to blame when her husband's toxic and violent nature towards her. The foreign woman is better than the Nigerian woman and this is why those same Nigerian men are submissive and docile creatures around them.

2. Exploit and manipulate? but isn't that exactly what the Nigerian man has done to the Nigerian woman for so many generations before this one? For the longest, women were exploited only to then be abandoned by their husbands and lovers, left with nothing in the end. You are telling me it is wrong for women to do to the men exactly as the men have and continue to do to them even to this day?

Then marriage should not be permitted in Nigeria...since it's a game of betrayal. The sores should be opened for everyone to explore outside the continental shore of Nigeria to other countries.

Omalicious1:
➜Not all the men abused their spouse. Some women also are serial manipulators and selfish

Interesting shift from your initial comment!

In the same way, you now realize that not all men love, you at least admit that equally not all women love? In the same way, men are capable of serial manipulation, so also you are bound to find women who are serial manipulators. Then why the initial generalization? Why be biased in your assessment of these things if you are indeed aware of these truths?

HardBishop:
➜Then marriage should not be permitted in Nigeria...since it's a game of betrayal. The sores should be opened for everyone to explore outside the continental shore of Nigeria to other countries.

Marriage is not a game of betrayal. It is not to blame for the manipulative behavior of individuals who attempt to use marriage in that manner. Rather, the level of social and emotional intelligence among individuals who engage in the union is primarily at fault. Also, You can't bar people from engaging in activities that you deem foolish — marrying when the red flags are all over the place for all to see—simply because you realize it as such. People need to be allowed to make these choices for themselves.

armadeo:
And Asians too.




To be factual there are thousands of Nigerians abroad who's wife's brought them in and they're thriving. This is the case of the 1% making the loudest noise.

I know many people, who's wives are nurses,who carried them over and stood till they found their feet. Not 10 or 11 many. They're doing great now.

I also know of 2 cases where the women almost completely destroyed the men. As in I had talks with these guys for hours as they poured their pain out.

All in all we hear mostly the bad news. The goos ones stay strong and enjoying their marriages.

Your statistics is skewed

Hmmm 🤔

SeverusSnape:
Nigerian women become beasts when they go to America or Europe.

bigpicture001:
According to him, the girl tried, when he landed, sh took him in.. dou sh returned to formally marry him in pH...

He stayed at home for almost two months job hunting and the girl drops like 100-150 pound for him everyday... For his job hunt and chop mount as he moves around... Sh moved from a self con to a flat.. dou they don't have child yet.. sh said it's to meet up standard if colleagues at work..

When he got a menial job, 2months later.. he offered to pay the rent that month, the lady just lagged it off but he did.. ND started taking some responsibilities to mk her feel she is contributing... But there is still this discord of your wife being the bread winner of your house, and your wife having dumped u before and only came back not cuz if love but for necessity... He wasn't comfortable......

she must be ugly. If na fine babe all that hin excuse for disappear.

Seunomobo:
What about the Nigeria Men that are beasts in both Nigeria and Africa....?
What goes around comes around, if a man is good to a woman, she will never turn on him when given the opportunity.....
I'll do same to my husband when I move abroad......I don' dey plan am since.

don't say when a man is good to a woman she will never turn on him. Do women actually marry who they love or who is ready. This is the major problem in marriage. Majority of women don't actually marry the person their heart goes for. No matter how good you treat such women as a husband, she will never reciprocate. That ex she couldn't marry must surely occupy her brain.

Kobojunkie:
Offering up their body in return for the benefit is akin to offering nothing. For example, A man agrees to have a woman's body and in return promises her benefits but you want us to believe that even though the contract is fair and agreed upon by both parties, the woman is in the wrong? Why the bias?

2. Again, what is to say that when the rest of us do the same, we are not pretending or acting in a certain way to get what benefits us?

3. Don't we all do something along the same line?

Seems u like arguing.

I agreed we all go for what benefits us and we don't all do it deceptively meaning hiding sinister or other motives.

And when I said people come for beneficial reasons and give back nothing, I wasn't referring to sexual transactional relationship cos that is made plain for u to judge even tho they mask it as a relationship... My point was while in such relationship don't see it as what it is not, understanding they are there strictly fir benefits. There is nothing beyond those benefits and there may ne no single loyalty or even worse sinister motives.

If u now take such a relationship as a dependable one u are only shortchanged or decieved urself.

There are relationship where the relationships go beyond the superficial and hidden motives.

jaxxy:
➜Seems u like arguing. I agreed we all go for what benefits us and we don't all do it deceptively meaning hiding sinister or other motives.
And when I said people come for beneficial reasons and give back nothing, I wasn't referring to sexual transactional relationship cos that is made plain for u to judge even tho they mask it as a relationship... My point was while in such relationship don't see it as what it is not, understanding they are there strictly fir benefits. There is nothing beyond those benefits and there may ne no single loyalty or even worse sinister motives.
If u now take such a relationship as a dependable one u are only shortchanged or decieved urself. There are relationship where the relationships go beyond the superficial and hidden motives.

Let me guess, you don't like arguing even though clearly your forte seems to be arguing in circles. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[quote author=Islie post=134657505][/quote]looking at d replies is the reason why we can't solve issue .we love doingto blame or judge. Here the solution to all these japa wahala. Let one naija or African have a social media channel to start a movement to educate our pple on hw to conduct themselves ND the laws of the these western countries.
You see such channel will earn followers ND ease the cultural shock for our pple
There is high ignorance of the laws ND hw to conduct urselves .

HEAVEN4444:
she must be ugly. If na fine babe all that hin excuse for disappear.

Guy, marriage no by fine face or shape ooo.. na who go give u peace

Even though marriage is good, but there is nothing stopping me abandoning a stubborn wife to be at the altar right on the marriage day if she or her family begin stress me and even after marriage if you begin stress me, I go abandon you and our your children for the house.

I have only one life to live.

SeverusSnape:
Nigerian women become beasts when they go to America or Europe.

here one thing our naija guys dnt know about our ladies .
They hide things or pretend due to our guys heavy judgemental altitude.
If u do a social experiment chat up a typical nigeria bae as a Nigeria guy
Then let oyinbo or Nigerian guy where den born or being in abroad for quite a long tym
U notice difference in some replies in some questions or convo

Eg Nigeria girl wouldn't open up on her sexuality or sex life.to a typical Nigerian brotha but she would to oyinbo

Nigeria baddie no go really reply u or lie if she smokes or if she divorce to a Nigeria guy but will open up to oyinbo

They do such for two reasons
1)money or hope to japa
2)because of being judged.

If our sister open the lust where dry their heart. U know they not too different from we guys but nt all our sister are like that o

Ilekokonit:
➜Even though marriage is good, but there is nothing stopping me abandoning a stubborn wife to be at the altar right in the marriage day if she or her family begin stress me and even after marriage if you begin stress me, I go abandon you and our your children for the house. I have only one life to live.

It is always better not to enter into marriage at all than to enter only to then play the victim after being caught committing a criminal offense.

Spousal/Marriage abandonment is a criminal offense. You are instead required by law to file a divorce in case you are done with a marriage union. Also, if the children are yours, you are required by law to provide for their support. Society should not have to bear the burden of even your sudden change of mind.

Kobojunkie:
Let me guess, you don't like arguing even though clearly your forte seems to be arguing in circles. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I think I've been pretty clear on what I meant so why are u going in circles?

Friends with benefits is made clear.

A relationship is not sane as friends with benefits and should have more expectations. if u have a relationship with someone who's broke there is a higher probability to not know them for who they are cos they have a lack that u might be meeting for them in that relationship which changes the original intentions or expectations of the relationship. So u have to be aware of their real intentions and character.

This plays out in all relationships mind u but where there is a sharp imbalance not only in being broke but also power imbalance, leverage imbalance u have to watch out. That's my point.

jaxxy:
➜I think I've been pretty clear on what I meant so why are u going in circles?
Friends with benefits is made clear.
A relationship is not sane as friends with benefits and should have more expectations. if u have a relationship with someone who's broke there is a higher probability to not know them for who they are cos they have a lack that u might be meeting for them in that relationship which changes the original intentions or expectations of the relationship. So u have to be aware of their real intentions and character.
This plays out in all relationships mind u but where there is a sharp imbalance not only in being broke but also power imbalance, leverage imbalance u have to watch out. That's my point.

But I am not the one still arguing, you are, and in circles at that. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣