₦airaland Forum

Thank y’all for your responses, I truly appreciate it and believe me I have also filtered through the responses.

This is never about me but more about my daughters peace and mental health. I know we will find a way to navigate through this. I came here because I am a private person and needed to get this off my chest. One is for sure, I will protect her with everything in me. Again, I appreciate your responses.

When they say avoid single moms and some men choose not to listen it is because of issues like this. When you went and married a single mom, did you bring it here? Why are you bringing the consequence here?

Whether you like it or not, that man is her father. Your claims of loving the girl are immaterial. It will be hard for any court to restrict the man from getting access to the child. I know this is painful to read.

At this point there is nothing you nor your wife can do to stop him. If he goes to court, he has added another layer of complication to your life. This matter is going to haunt you for a long while.

A very good lawyer can make this work for you anyways. You need to prove abandonment in court. Your wife needs to prove that she at no time denied that man access to her and their child. That the man choose not to be a part of his daughter's life and it will be very unfair for the court to allow him access now that the girl is growing up in a loving home. I don't know how well this arguement may fly.

But in all, if this goes to court and I think it should(you should take it to court), your prayer before the court should be that the man in question should have no reasonable expectation of relationship with the girl until she is 18. Until she is mature enough. Allowing him access to her earlier, will disturb the peace in your home and affect her mentally. The judge should consider on these grounds.

Your situation is very unfortunate and I can understand your pain. Get ready though, you have a battle ahead of you.

Jamiejames:
✓ Thank y’all for your responses, I truly appreciate it and believe me I have also filtered through the responses.
This is never about me but more about my daughters peace and mental health. I know we will find a way to navigate through this. I came here because I am a private person and needed to get this off my chest. One is for sure, I will protect her with everything in me. Again, I appreciate your responses.

Make sure your wife is on the same page as you. When pushed up against a wall, some resort to self sabotaging behavior without even realizing it. Do not force her but at least make sure she is aware that that man is nothing but a deadbeat and does not deserve to be rewarded merely for being a sperm donor in that case. She does not owe him anything and it is best she keep him as far away from that child as is possible unless that child explicitly demands otherwise.

Kobojunkie:
Make sure your wife is on the same page as you. When pushed up against a wall, some resort to self sabotaging behavior without even realizing it. Do not force her but at least make sure she is aware that that man is nothing but a deadbeat and does not deserve to be rewarded merely for being a sperm donor in that case. She does not owe him anything and it is best she keep him as far away from that child as is possible unless that child explicitly demands otherwise.

Thank you.

The crazy thing is, my wife don’t give a Bleep about him and don’t want our baby girl to have anything to do with him at all. She keep telling me that I am over worried and truly I am and it’s all for her not about me because something in me is certain she will be heartbroken by this revelation and I hope I am wrong. I am not just sure if she is at the best stage and age for this bombshell.

Dogalmighty17:
When they say avoid single moms and some men choose not to listen it is because of issues like this. When you went and married a single mom, did you bring it here? Why are you bringing the consequence here?

Whether you like it or not, that man is her father. Your claims of loving the girl are immaterial. It will be hard for any court to restrict the man from getting access to the child. I know this is painful to read.

At this point there is nothing you nor your wife can do to stop him. If he goes to court, he has added another layer of complication to your life. This matter is going to haunt you for a long while.

A very good lawyer can make this work for you anyways. You need to prove abandonment in court. Your wife needs to prove that she at no time denied that man access to her and their child. That the man choose not to be a part of his daughter's life and it will be very unfair for the court to allow him access now that the girl is growing up in a loving home. I don't know how well this arguement may fly.

But in all, if this goes to court and I think it should(you should take it to court), your prayer before the court should be that the man in question should have no reasonable expectation of relationship with the girl until she is 18. Until she is mature enough. Allowing him access to her earlier, will disturb the peace in your home and affect her mentally. The judge should consider on these grounds.

Your situation is very unfortunate and I can understand your pain. Get ready though, you have a battle ahead of you.

Aiigt dude, you sound like a judgemental person from the first paragraph so I didn’t read through.

Nobody has ever denied him of relationship with my daughter or should I say his daughter since in your word she’s not mine.

I live in the US and there are laws. He literally have no rights at the moment and it’s just me being reasonable. We can live our live forever without dealing with his ass. I love my baby girl enough for this to bother me more than it bothers my wife.

Lastly, stop stereotyping and judging single mothers when you don’t know their stories. Open up your mind and heart.

It's good that you stepped up and became a father she never had, something her biological father failed to do, but the truth is that you can never be her biological father and he will one day locate her and tell her the truth whether you like it or not... You can't keep her confined in that house of yours forever.

And she may hate you for the rest of her life upon finding out that her father tried reaching out to her when is was in her teens and you prevented him from seeing her... She might forgive her mother, but not you... This is not about you and your insecurities, but about her... She deserves to know the truth while she's still young and and able to grasp everything.

If the man is now accomplished and living a straight life, then I don't see the problem... You can allow him to see her on weekends for a couple of hours... Stop being so selfish.

Jamiejames:
Show up at my home? Lol show up at the school? SMH. Some of you really have a lot of audacity.