₦airaland Forum

A close friend shared this with Me:

You have a mother who can't assist or take responsibility for any of her children.
Three out of 5 of your children are graduates, you never for once paid anybody school fees or sent money to them. Rather you're expecting from them because you don't place any premium on education. All you want is for them to travel to the township and do house girls or other menial jobs so you can be receiving their salaries directly into your acc.
My friend said her mum hasn't given him more than 2k before in his entire life. But right now, he has continued to send money after money to his mum.
Even the last child who still stays with her in the village, whatever the young boy needs, the mum can't provide for him. She will tell the boy to call his older siblings even if it's 2k. This is a woman who farms large and sells yet always complaining about money year in, year out. Is this how mothers behave cos my mum isn't like this.
Some years back, she sent the third child, a girl to Lagos to go do house help. She didn't inform my friend about the plan. She only told my friend that his sister is traveling to Lagos to stay with our Aunt and find something to do. It was when she got to Lagos that my friend heard and got to know about his sister living with a different tribe and working as a housemaid while the mother was receiving the girls salaries.
My friend is really dismayed by her mum's attitude. She's always calling to make financial requests. 1 out of every 2 calls is to make demands on my friend. Its not a good thing at all.

That’s the behavior of an average Nigerian woman, thinking of themselves only. I would say this (anyone can quote me if I’m wrong) Most Nigerian women give birth for 3 major reasons;
1 is to solidify their marriage or connection to a man/his family
2 is for retirement plan
3 is for them not to be lonely at old age.

Eloghosa1:
That’s the behavior of an average Nigerian woman, thinking of themselves only. I would say this (anyone can quote me if I’m wrong) Most Nigerian women give birth for 3 major reasons;
1 is to solidify their marriage or connection to a man/his family
2 is for retirement plan
3 is for them not to be lonely at old age.

You've said it all

Joeypumpin:
➜ My friend is really dismayed by her mum's attitude. She's always calling to make financial requests. 1 out of every 2 calls is to make demands on my friend. Its not a good thing at all.

What is the purpose behind your telling us this here story? Is this all in order to badmouth your friend's mother or something?

At bolded, that's the answer to your questions.

Joeypumpin:
A close friend shared this with Me:

You have a mother who can't assist or take responsibility for any of her children.
Three out of 5 of your children are graduates, you never for once paid anybody school fees or sent money to them. Rather you're expecting from them because you don't place any premium on education. All you want is for them to travel to the township and do house girls or other menial jobs so you can be receiving their salaries directly into your acc.
My friend said her mum hasn't given him more than 2k before in his entire life. But right now, he has continued to send money after money to his mum.
Even the last child who still stays with her in the village, whatever the young boy needs, the mum can't provide for him. She will tell the boy to call his older siblings even if it's 2k. This is a woman who farms large and sells yet always complaining about money year in, year out. Is this how mothers behave cos my mum isn't like this.
Some years back, she sent the third child, a girl to Lagos to go do house help. She didn't inform my friend about the plan. She only told my friend that his sister is traveling to Lagos to stay with our Aunt and find something to do. It was when she got to Lagos that my friend heard and got to know about his sister living with a different tribe and working as a housemaid while the mother was receiving the girls salaries.
My friend is really dismayed by her mum's attitude. She's always calling to make financial requests. 1 out of every 2 calls is to make demands on my friend. Its not a good thing at all.

Eloghosa1:
That’s the behavior of an average Nigerian woman, thinking of themselves only. I would say this (anyone can quote me if I’m wrong) Most Nigerian women give birth for 3 major reasons;
1 is to solidify their marriage or connection to a man/his family
2 is for retirement plan
3 is for them not to be lonely at old age.

same for men. An average Nigerian men and women depend on their children at old age. Their children are their retirement plan.

GREATPIN77:
same for men. An average Nigerian men and women depend on their children at old age. Their children are their retirement plan.

You want to lump everyone together now that a woman is involved instead condemning the lady in question
As for men, an average man does that only after investing in the child.
That's completely different from what the woman described above is doing.

People shouldn't reap where they didn't sow

ChybuzzDD:
You want to lump everyone together now that a woman is involved instead condemning the lady in question
As for men, an average man does that only after investing in the child.
That's completely different from what the woman described above is doing.

People shouldn't reap where they didn't sow

how many average Nigerian men invest in their children in Nigeria today? If an average Nigerian men invest in their children we won't have millions of small and middle age boys littering the street with sag boxers doing Yahoo. Even men that abandoned their children still hope on those children at old age for survival. It is what it is in a developing nation. Parents depend on their children at old age for survival.

Eloghosa1:
That’s the behavior of an average Nigerian woman, thinking of themselves only. I would say this (anyone can quote me if I’m wrong) Most Nigerian women give birth for 3 major reasons;
1 is to solidify their marriage or connection to a man/his family
2 is for retirement plan
3 is for them not to be lonely at old age.

Pure nonsense, trying to reason an instinct. Even if a woman has all these things she'd still be crying for children. It's an instinct deeply buried in biology. You can't reason it

See...ehn

Not all ladies can be good mothers

Some women can be that selfish; they will put their selves before their children.


Mothering is an in-built nature...no be buy for market.


Abi what can you say of a woman who has over 2.3m in her account and her little children(2) stayed home due to school fees debt and couldn't help them all cos the husband lost his job and had no money

When she was asked, why this....she replied and said it's the duty of her husband to take care of the children...not hers.

I will not marry rubbish in the name of Jesus Amen.

QuinQ:
Pure nonsense, trying to reason an instinct. Even if a woman has all these things she'd still be crying for children. It's an instinct deeply buried in biology. You can't reason it

Tell that to the voluntary child-free women in other parts of the world.

Eloghosa1:
Tell that to the voluntary child-free women in other parts of the world.

There'd always be outliers. Vast majority of women want children for no personal gain, and will die for their children

QuinQ:
➜Pure nonsense, trying to reason an instinct. Even if a woman has all these things she'd still be crying for children. It's an instinct deeply buried in biology. You can't reason it

. It isn't actually!

QuinQ:
➜There'd always be outliers. Vast majority of women want children for no personal gain, and will die for their children

There is no truth to that claim since it is more that many women have been convinced through social rhetoric that having a child is a path to fulfillment for them.

⚉ Is Maternal Instinct Backed by Science?
⚉ Maternal Instinct Is a Myth That Men Created
⚉ The big idea: why the maternal instinct is a myth
⚉ ‘Maternal instinct’ is a myth—and parents are struggling because of it

The 4th one in particular is some serious deal. i personally believe that a lot of women have sociopathic and some psychopathic tendencies, and should not be allowed anywhere near children, let alone have them. But, because of this nonsense thing about Mother's instinct, so many children have had to endure suffering that could have been easily prevented.

Kobojunkie:
. It isn't actually!

Kobojunkie:
There is no truth to that claim since it is more than many women have been convinced through social rhetoric that having a child is a path to fulfillment for them.

Study this 60 seconds video. These are our fellow mammals. This same instinct is at work in most human females!

Mother sacrifices her life to save baby
https://youtube.com/shorts/U4tqfijZCYE?si=QlR5af5LZDQpnCXH

QuinQ:
➜Study this 60 seconds video. These are our fellow mammals. This same instinct is at work in most human females Mother sacrifices her life to save baby https://youtube.com/shorts/U4tqfijZCYE?si=QlR5af5LZDQpnCXH

A video on YouTube cannot serve as evidence against the facts on the ground. What you call mothering instincts are now known to be associated with learned behavior rather than behavior of the instinctual kind you claim.

I was able to find a better video to help you, maybe start thinking of it a bit more. If you pay close attention, you will note how the many unconscious trainings that are given primarily to women have been designed in such a way as to program their minds into believing in many mythical ideas, including this one. Of course, we also know that women who don't meet the mark set are immediately demonized in many of the societies where this mental programming is deployed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZtTe6KuwNs?si=lXyZT0qkZ4F7rfL6

I should state that I do not necessarily agree with everything she said— I was busy while this was playing, so didn't get time to listen to the end— but it does give you a good idea of how the issue of maternal instinct does not sit well with all women.

Starz825:
See...ehn

Not all ladies can be good mothers

Some women can be that selfish; they will put their selves before their children.


Mothering is an in-built nature...no be buy for market.


Abi what can you say of a woman who has over 2.3m in her account and her little children(2) stayed home due to school fees debt and couldn't help them all cos the husband lost his job and had no money

When she was asked, why this....she replied and said it's the duty of her husband to take care of the children...not hers.

I will not marry rubbish in the name of Jesus Amen.

This comment of yours just reminded me of my mother and her behaviour towards me and my elder brother.
Mum sold one of her two choicest lands almost two months ago, made over 125 million naira but hid it from me and my brother knowing (she only told our younger brother, the last child ). I heard it from phone conversations, and I saw her buying new household appliances that were getting delivered directly to her doorstep. I knew at once that mummy " has cashedout "
She hasn given me 1k since then. She now knows that I'm aware she sold that done land at Mabushi, Abuja. Instead, it's a certain architect neighbour of ours and his wife, by proxy, who have so far enjoying her hospitality after the sales of the land, since the architect was also helping to look for buyers (but failed to bring buyers in the end). She has given him some cash, this I am sure. Does it pain me? Sure, but in choosing not to care so much about it , so it doesn't rob me of my peace or joy. As hard as this is.

Mother's can be very miserly or should I say selfish, when they have an issue with any of their male kids ( if they feel you know too much and seem to be a threat to their personal plans/interests). I'm not even trying to be a threat to hers, funny enough. I don't know why mama is paranoid or putting guaeds up.
Anyways, I'll see how it all plays out.

See why I prefer dads... They know how to position their kids properly and carry each person along.