Firstly, am not here to wake up those who want to stay asleep but for those who aren't aware they are sleeping.. I will give a brief history about me and then what led to my conversion..
Am 23 years old, born in a Christian family. From imo state.I was raised to believe that Jesus saves and through him I can get anything. I went to a Seminary school, I was taught about god and all that. From my jss1 to jss3 I couldn't really understand the so called Bible. Certain verse contradicts another. Then from my ss1 to ss3 during teachings in crs I asked questions about some Bible passages but found out the priest that teaches us don't even understand what he teaches. Later he was transferred and another teacher replaced him. I studied the Bible like my life depends on it, so there isn't any verse in the Bible I can't tell you what happened and how it happened. The new teacher couldn't explain certain scriptures on her own too rather she tagged it a myopic gospel. I was like wtf?a times she will cane me for asking too much questions and will always tell me to ask god to open my spiritual eyes.. I kept thinking how can they teach what they don't know or practice? Hasn't she asked for her own spiritual eyes to be opened, aren't we meant to ask questions if we don't understand anything .. Ain't they supposed to show workings, u know like using faith to move ordinary pen talk more of mountain which I don't think any pastor or priest round the world even Pope can do. But yet I never stopped believing. I graduated among the best students, gain admission into higher institution (imsu) then my life changed. I found out things I try to control couldn't be controlled anymore, I fast and prayed not to fall into the temptation but still yet It didn't. I enjoyed my life till my 2nd year in school. I developed a heavy heart problems, am no smoker. I went to hospital and I was told am 100%OK.
I had this pain through out my remaining years in school. I kept visiting different hospitals but the series of test I ran, was confirmed OK. Then my parents said it's time to seek God.. I prayed, fast, did night prayers all to no avail. I visited priests which they will later give me holy water to use yet no show, I also visited scoan owned by tb Joshua , I was touched by both tb Joshua and his wise men cos I visited countless times yet my sufferings kept increasing. My uncle took me to Lord of chosen yet nothing. I visited other spiritual houses but none could help heal me rather some told me it's my uncle who's behind my suffering. I was like wtf?
I was there dying slowly and all I get from pastors and my parents was to have faith in God. A friend suggested I go down to the village to do something they called AGWU. I went and did it and the whole pain went off, I was free again, I was so happy but I never stopped believing in the xtian god. The native doctor who did that to me made one statement that kept me wondering. He said we keep on serving and bowing down to our fellow men all in the name of worshiping God. He said igbo culture has been here before the coming of any religious groups and it will still be here those religious groups will go. That we chose to suffer that's why we are suffering. He said to me forget about church and there rubbish practice that there is no life there. After a week I went back to my normal mode of worship. I went for thanksgiving and all that, I never stopped believing. Then the next day after the thanksgiving the whole problem came back in multiple folds, I couldn't stand, I couldn't breath well anymore. I was dying and I knew it.
I kept wondering what kind of silly life is this, where have I gone wrong. I kept wondering,, at a time I said to myself this life is not worth it. I started praying for death to come take me away.
Then on 4th April I woke up around 11pm.i had some poison I had prepared mixed with juice. I was ready to take my life away cos I couldn't bear seeing my parents suffer emotionally just because of me. I had some note prepared for my parents to read and for them to know why I had to do it. Death to me was the only thing that will end my pains. Then I went outside the compound to pray to heavens. I saw a full moon so I talked to it, I was sitting on the floor crying and praying for God's forgiveness on what am about to do. Then something happened... Lowba3 brb your contact please 🙏 |
