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As a woman, pls answer this question

If u married a man, he has a different kind of love style, like he is a man with principles, doesn't enter kitchen, doesn't value pre-intimacy (making u as a woman hate s*x due to painful penetration), at a point he is no longer sexually attracted to you. Your mom doesn't like him because he slapped u in the presence of your mom because u caught him cheating. Financially abuses u by collecting every money u earn but make u beg for anything u want to buy. As a woman u don't even have one wrapper to your name. At the end of the day u got tired of everything because I were going mentally drained and packed your things and left.

When you left, he fought u and almost arrested u because u fought to collect one of the shops u built with him with, he threatened to arrest u That u must go empty handed his family supported him.

Along the line a young man loved u , and gave you all the love you were begging for, treats you like a princess.

Husband now desperately needs you back, threatening he will commit suicide if u don't come back, he is not ready to collect back d bride price.
Using God factor, that God doesn't like divorce and even saying he has changed

Pls my fellow women, what will u do in this kinda situation, do u go back or continue to enjoy this love that was denied u all these years.

The men of God should answer

What is the "..or worse..." clause in marriage vows for? I need help here. Or is it only the "...for better..." part they mean?

Even as a man who's a strong advocate of women being submissive to their husbands, I'll seriously advise you never to return to that man. He's only interested now because he knows you've moved on successfully, if you return you'll know the meaning of wahala pro max.

Mummytoo:
As a woman, pls answer this question

Pls my fellow women, what will u do in this kinda situation, do u go back or continue to enjoy this love that was denied u all these years.

The men of God should answer

I have questions for you first.

1. Did you like the man before you married him?
2. How many children are involved in the marriage?
3. Put more information about what led to the slap. I am not supporting wife beating but we need more context. Was it a one time case or repeated cases?
4. On the claim that he collects all money you earn, how is that possible?? You also said you built shops while you were with him and he tried to collect one of the shops from you. How come he was collecting all your money and you still built shops? Clarify that inconsistency.

He never loved you as a woman and the probability of loving you is low although, he might have learned his lessons. You should give it time and ensure you both go for therapy and be sure he is changed before you take him back.

He doesn't value you,at least value yourself.
Hope you didn't over bill all in the name of marriage.

Na so so silly questions full here....abeg face forward. No return o. Abi which kind wahala be this?

Where is your sense of self worth?.. a man did all that to you and you're still considering the thoughts of moving back with him.
God saved you from an abusive marriage but devil is trying to push you back to the marriage. sorry for you.

I know someone who also went through a similar situation even though she and her partner were engaged and not yet married, but they lived together.

The last straw for her was when she had a miscarriage and the man left her at the hospital without bothering to come and check up her, her family had to be the ones to come and fetch her after she got discharged... She was pregnant with their second twins.

After she got discharged, she went to the house she shared with her fiance and fetched all her belongings without uttering a word to him... At first he didn't take her seriously and thought she'll return to him within few weeks, but upon realising that she's not coming back, he started begging her and even involving his family, but the lady had made up her mind and wanted nothing to do with him.

He then started threatening her with suicide, but that still didn't move her... He went ahead and attempted to take his own life by drinking some poison, but fortunately, his family was able to rush him to the hospital on time and he survived the suicide attempt.

And whenever he wants the children to come over to his house, they'd refuse to go without their mother... She has never tried preventing him from seeing his children and she has no plans of doing so, but they don't want to visit him without her.

Now this man has been stalking the lady and he'd fight every guy he sees her with, from what she told me, he'd also park his car outside of her family house for hours almost everyday just to keep an eye on her, but she's still not moved by his actions... I'm honestly worried about her safety and I advised her to get a protection order against him.

He didn't know what he had until it was gone... Now he's filled with regrets, but unfortunately, it's too late... Once a lady emotionally detaches from you, nothing you say or do will change her mind... So op, the lady should just stand her ground and move on with her life... I'm sure she gave the man so many chances before which he took for granted.

EmperorIsaac:
What is the "..or worse..." clause in marriage vows for? I need help here. Or is it only the "...for better..." part they mean?

For worse means when life (not your partner) throws challenges at you. Job loss, sickness, special needs kids etc.

I am sure you get the idea.

And if a man decides to be a challenge like life, you treat him like one

bukatyne:
For worse means when life (not your partner) throws challenges at you. Job loss, sickness, special needs kids etc.

I am sure you get the idea.

And if a man decides to be a challenge like life, you treat him like one

Abi? 👀
No spouse has the monopoly of being a challenge. 😬

Mummytoo:
As a woman, pls answer this question

If u married a man, he has a different kind of love style, like he is a man with principles, doesn't enter kitchen, doesn't value pre-intimacy (making u as a woman hate s*x due to painful penetration), at a point he is no longer sexually attracted to you. Your mom doesn't like him because he slapped u in the presence of your mom because u caught him cheating. Financially abuses u by collecting every money u earn but make u beg for anything u want to buy. As a woman u don't even have one wrapper to your name. At the end of the day u got tired of everything because I were going mentally drained and packed your things and left.

When you left, he fought u and almost arrested u because u fought to collect one of the shops u built with him with, he threatened to arrest u That u must go empty handed his family supported him.

Along the line a young man loved u , and gave you all the love you were begging for, treats you like a princess.

Husband now desperately needs you back, threatening he will commit suicide if u don't come back, he is not ready to collect back d bride price.
Using God factor, that God doesn't like divorce and even saying he has changed

Pls my fellow women, what will u do in this kinda situation, do u go back or continue to enjoy this love that was denied u all these years.

The men of God should answer

He has a different kind of love style? He is a man of principles?

Ejoor, what love and principles has he displayed in your post?

What changed him?

Except a woman deeply hurts a man who once loved you, I can't understand a man maltreating a woman then turn round to say he 'changed'.

OP, please use your tongue to count your teeth.

You fit be good dustbin to dump their rubbish.

Sha find the catalyst of the change.

Mariangeles:
Abi? 👀
No spouse has the monopoly of being a challenge. 😬

Don't mind them jare.

How can you seek to be a problem?

bukatyne:
For worse means when life (not your partner) throws challenges at you. Job loss, sickness, special needs kids etc.

I am sure you get the idea.

And if a man decides to be a challenge like life, you treat him like one

You see why I say it needs clarification. Because you have categorized the phrase to suit your inclinations.

Mummytoo:
As a woman, pls answer this question

If u married a man, he has a different kind of love style, like he is a man with principles, doesn't enter kitchen, doesn't value pre-intimacy (making u as a woman hate s*x due to painful penetration), at a point he is no longer sexually attracted to you. Your mom doesn't like him because he slapped u in the presence of your mom because u caught him cheating. Financially abuses u by collecting every money u earn but make u beg for anything u want to buy. As a woman u don't even have one wrapper to your name. At the end of the day u got tired of everything because I were going mentally drained and packed your things and left.

When you left, he fought u and almost arrested u because u fought to collect one of the shops u built with him with, he threatened to arrest u That u must go empty handed his family supported him.

Along the line a young man loved u , and gave you all the love you were begging for, treats you like a princess.

Husband now desperately needs you back, threatening he will commit suicide if u don't come back, he is not ready to collect back d bride price.
Using God factor, that God doesn't like divorce and even saying he has changed

Pls my fellow women, what will u do in this kinda situation, do u go back or continue to enjoy this love that was denied u all these years.

The men of God should answer

Man of God here. Please move on.

He's telling you God hates divorce

Tell him these other things God hates

Men who don't deal fairly with their wives
Men who don't work to support their household financially
Men who blackmail and cheat others
Men who use his (God's ) name and word to take advantage of others

Nothing is going to change for the better if you ever go back. Know that and have sense

Keep walking....don't look back.

Mummytoo:
As a woman, pls answer this question

If u married a man, he has a different kind of love style, like he is a man with principles, doesn't enter kitchen, doesn't value pre-intimacy (making u as a woman hate s*x due to painful penetration), at a point he is no longer sexually attracted to you. Your mom doesn't like him because he slapped u in the presence of your mom because u caught him cheating. Financially abuses u by collecting every money u earn but make u beg for anything u want to buy. As a woman u don't even have one wrapper to your name. At the end of the day u got tired of everything because I were going mentally drained and packed your things and left.

When you left, he fought u and almost arrested u because u fought to collect one of the shops u built with him with, he threatened to arrest u That u must go empty handed his family supported him.

Along the line a young man loved u , and gave you all the love you were begging for, treats you like a princess.

Husband now desperately needs you back, threatening he will commit suicide if u don't come back, he is not ready to collect back d bride price.
Using God factor, that God doesn't like divorce and even saying he has changed

Pls my fellow women, what will u do in this kinda situation, do u go back or continue to enjoy this love that was denied u all these years.

The men of God should answer

This situation sounds incredibly challenging and emotionally draining. Given the circumstances you've described, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and safety. Here are some considerations:
Abuse and disrespect: The physical and emotional abuse, financial control, and lack of respect for your boundaries are significant red flags.

Lack of trust: The incident of cheating and subsequent behavior raises concerns about his ability to be faithful and honest.

New relationship. The new man in your life seems to be treating you with love, care, and respect, which is wonderful.

Threats and manipulation. Your ex-husband's threats of suicide and using the "God factor" might be attempts to guilt-trip you into returning.

Considering these points, it's crucial to:
Prioritize self-care: Focus on your mental and emotional well-being.
Seek support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist about your situation.
Evaluate your options: Weigh the pros and cons of returning to your ex-husband versus continuing with the new relationship.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. However, it's essential to consider what's best for your happiness, safety, and well-being. Be selfish for once and if you decide to go back, be prepared to write a will.

All the best.

Helpout12345:
I have questions for you first.

1. Did you like the man before you married him?
2. How many children are involved in the marriage?
3. Put more information about what led to the slap. I am not supporting wife beating but we need more context. Was it a one time case or repeated cases?
4. On the claim that he collects all money you earn, how is that possible?? You also said you built shops while you were with him and he tried to collect one of the shops from you. How come he was collecting all your money and you still built shops? Clarify that inconsistency.

1. Yes, with all my heart
2. None, because he beat my pregnancy out, I never rested
3. The slap came because I picked a call with d name Inec, I thought it was a political call, to tell d caller he was bathing, because he doesn't like having missed calls, he told me to do that before with d different contact, buh when I picked it was a female, he rushed to me collected d phone and gbam, and my mom was there, d lady kept calling back, my mom asked him to pick but he refused
4. He makes me work day and night in d store while he monitors the money and collects everything

This hypothetical husband has ingrained bad behaviour from childhood and if the woman involved goes back to him, it's suffer pro max. The reason he's begging is because no other woman especially those of high value will tolerate his bullshít and that's why I keep telling the ladies around me to be financially independent which first of all separates the wheat from the chaff of men surrounding them. Learn a high earning skill or start a profitable business with regular returns. Advise that lady as if she were your sister

Some Husband are really guilty of this...

Collecting / Borrowing Money from there wife and they will never return it

Mummytoo:
1. Yes, with all my heart
2. None, because he beat my pregnancy out, I never rested
3. The slap came because I picked a call with d name Inec, I thought it was a political call, to tell d caller he was bathing, because he doesn't like having missed calls, he told me to do that before with d different contact, buh when I picked it was a female, he rushed to me collected d phone and gbam, and my mom was there, d lady kept calling back, my mom asked him to pick but he refused
4. He makes me work day and night in d store while he monitors the money and collects everything

1. Based on the fact that there's no child between both of you. You can decide not to go back. This is a big factor and it's clear.

2. You see that cheating, it's a very grey area for men doing well financially. Many women will tell you to leave your man because he cheats but the truth is that many of their husbands are also cheating and they stay with him like that. And majority of the women that leave their husbands because of cheating end up dating another woman's husband when they get outside. I am not endorsing cheating and I don't know the financial strength of the man.

3. I don't have to tell you this as you are a woman. I will say you should do all your calculations and mathematics and decide based on that.

Mummytoo:
1. Yes, with all my heart
2. None, because he beat my pregnancy out, I never rested
3. The slap came because I picked a call with d name Inec, I thought it was a political call, to tell d caller he was bathing, because he doesn't like having missed calls, he told me to do that before with d different contact, buh when I picked it was a female, he rushed to me collected d phone and gbam, and my mom was there, d lady kept calling back, my mom asked him to pick but he refused
4. He makes me work day and night in d store while he monitors the money and collects everything

You don’t need to be with a man that beats you. Let alone beat off pregnancy
You are endangering yourself. Be strong