₦airaland Forum

looooooooooool

Ade1177:
Even if she get

The man has no access to it anymore according to the write up

And that one they pain man
Baba put am as no 1 reason

For you to itemize all these faults of your wife alone shows that you have a big problem.
I see you as a perfectionist who never sees anything good in your wife and never appreciates anything she does hence she decided to recoil to her shelf.

It will be great to hear from your wife as well .

But my little advice is instead of thinking of divorce, go back and unlock your wife, be a husband to her not a principality, cuddle her and make her feel valued instead of lamenting on her inadequacies and mistakes
Go through her close confidants and let her know that you truly love her.
She is not ready to quit the marriage, and I don't she is cheating on you ( I stand to be corrected) otherwise certain actions would have confirmed.

You can save your marriage, your family and restore your happiness.

I will not advice you to divorce your wife but if I face 10% of what you wrote, I will send that woman away. My wife cannot go out and spend 1hr outside without my express permission. It's not possible.

Sorry, OP, I need to hear your wife's side of the story before giving judgement. But I will advise you to sit down and rethink deeply how you could make your marriage. Divorce and remarriage does not solve problems.
Good luck!

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

You see that number 10, run for your life. When it starts, no going back. You will head to the morgue.

I have one word for you op, run

One thing can observe about most marriages, mine inclusive is: wives tend to have a better time and happier moments and when they are happy, if you ask if their husbands are also happy, most times it shocks them to think they never really thought about it from that perspective!

KillahPriest:
You don't need to shout or beg anymore, your wife is quarter gone out of the house already so the best thing is to look out for yourself and the kids. If its possible to get a lesson teacher and house keeper that comes once or twice a week, I believe you should take that option and don't even bother about asking her permission/input. Also take care of yourself by dressing sharp (if you dont) and smelling nice, go out more often even if it's to the gym. If your house is big, take a separate room from hers and don't ever bother her about sèx again. Give her anything she wants financially but allow her fly. You're a guy man so you should know women need rivals once in a while and it's just the sad world we live in. If you cant cheat then, get a bestie or rent a babe but you gan need to unload so how we wan do am now You gats blow outside Anyways, no follow am drag anything again even if she open mouth say she wan go, open door quietly and give her thirty minutes to move her stuff, nobody go tell her say township na mind, na she go find out by herself. Your main issue is that you lack self confidence which is very important when dealing with these our women. See, even if she involves her parents or whoever, you have to calmly tell them that their daughter is useless and you didnt know from day one that she lacked home training as a decent woman but no wahala. My advice is under the assumption that you're doing your full duties financially as a father and husband and if you're not, go wash your head for your papa village

Exactly!
If she’s not ready to change and be committed to the family, take it as a personal challenge, shift you attention to a new purpose, it can be going to the gym, starting a new business or anything that will give you a sense of fulfillment. Enjoy training your children alone, what if you’re a single dad, you would train them. I will advise that divorce is not an option, for the sake of the innocent children that you love. No stress, create your new happiness in a positive way

I don't like all these one sided stories.Women give double or triple the energy they receive from their spouses (whether positive or negative).
Also nowadays men are too quick to write off their marriages as not worth sustaining at the first sign of trouble.
Work on yourself then your wife will be obliged to do the same.Thereafter you can both be in the right frame of mind to work on rebuilding your home.You can't outsource that part to Nairaland members or your family.
Only YOU and your WIFE can repair your marriage.
I wish you both the best.

Walai:
Can someone give me at least one convincing reason to get married apart from children (I can get any number of children without getting married) and sex (the cheapest commodity right now) ?

Yes the essence of marriage is proceation
But it beyond that also, Almighty God that ordained such knows better than us.

Firstly, you need to forget about your spouse.
Your focal point should be your self and the kids.
Her bad friends have given her stupid advice.
Don't allow a worthless woman to give you blood pressure.
Best of luck Brother.

Justnation:
For you to itemize all these faults of your wife alone shows that you have a big problem.
I see you as a perfectionist who never sees anything good in your wife and never appreciates anything she does hence she decided to recoil to her shelf.

It will be great to hear from your wife as well .

But my little advice is instead of thinking of divorce, go back and unlock your wife, be a husband to her not a principality, cuddle her and make her feel valued instead of lamenting on her inadequacies and mistakes
Go through her close confidants and let her know that you truly love her.
She is not ready to quit the marriage, and I don't she is cheating on you ( I stand to be corrected) otherwise certain actions would have confirmed.

You can save your marriage, your family and restore your happiness.

Captain sàve a bra say make op go unlock as a padlock that she is naaa.. nairaland is always a funny place

Negroid001:
This is why 2 wives is the best

In these TINUBU times?? You want to die of hypertension...whats the guarantee that the 2nd wife would not turn out the same

This is what you get when you are too responsible. Try and be irresponsible for some months.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

I can relate and I pity you because you are looking for pity from a woman who has no value for you. You will keep degenerating in her eyes until you finally drop dead from frustration. LEAVE her and go elsewhere and.package your life.
You can DM me your number, so i can counsel you. You need urgently to.focus on yourself. Rebuild and make.her sorry I. The long run

malali:
Sounds like you married a covert narcissist.

I pray thats not the case,if it is.....you are in for a lifetime of misery.

Hallmarks attributes- They have zero accountability.

They dont have empathy, even for their own kids.

They cannot tolerate criticism. They go into a mad rage when you criticize them.

But when they are outside with mutual older friends or in-laws they can pretend to be sweet and nice.

That aptly describes most women. Are they all naccisists?

DM me for kiayamata she will turn to husband while you move to her position as wife

GEJDHERO:
In these TINUBU times?? You want to die of hypertension...whats the guarantee that the 2nd wife would not turn out the same

I mean like have backup and shi

If not for procreation.... believe me many people today will choose to remain single.


Me personally i hate stress and i can't imagine getting married to a woman that will stress me emotionally..nah nah.

Op see finish don enter your marriage...it will be very hard for her to change... believe me because she don't even have the right friends that want the best for her marriage.

Focus on yourself and the kids...eat well, smell good, hit the Gym, live i don't care lifestyle, make her feel you have another alternative out there and you don't care if she stays or leave.
You begging her to change will only make things worst.

You started it

Abeg go marry second wife if you can afford it

Run away! Run away twice with your children. You are truly dealing with a full blown narcissistic woman! As a man, you are the prize! I stuck with mine for 14 years. I was so mentally affected until I saw a therapist who revealed the kind of person she is. Sad truth is that they know you so well...your strength, your weakness and they will manipulate you till kingdom come. I divorced her at a speed faster than light and now im with the most wonderful woman who takes care of me and my kids as if there were her own. I find peace and respect finally! In fact I celebrate my divorce anniversary more than my birthday. Now she's alone always calling on the kids for company. They are grown now and don't have time for her. She was telling a friend she misses her family. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

AngelicBeing:
@ Descarado,

Licking it like lollipop, aphrodisiac, eating her gently till she squirts, Nawao , you latest entry in your Diary don corrupt me, huh

You read my diary?

descarado:
You read my diary?

Yes, abeg , l am an innocent godly Angel oo, don't corrupt my mind with your diary, like seriously, licking, eating her, her garden of Eden is aphrodisiac, Huh

Make l hear from your wife too
Na only you dey talk
I no fit judge your wife, with all these plenty talk
Na person wey dey guilty dey get plenty explanation for mouth.
I dey suspect you too.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

Look like you are broke at the moment. Find ways to make more money. Women can't do without a buoyant G. If she still feel entitled... Give her space and enjoy your life. You could be away from home from months and live your life.

Simping is an offence to nature.

SouthSouth1914:
The wife is the one who needs to see a therapist if all of these is true.

Yes I agree with you…