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My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by okeke6969: 1:09pm On May 08, 2025
Sharpsharp00123:
Op I understand your point n I followed your story n I can deduce something's from your story so I will advise u to focus on yourself primarily for now.

No wife or child can reject a rich father, ask yourself how do u intend to send them upkeep when u yourself get stranded to the extent of begging for 500 naira?

So just assume they enrolled those children in school like u want and at this moment u are down they call u to send 10k for upkeep, how do u get it when u self don't even have it?

They might even use it as more excuse y they don't want to give u those kids, they will just cite your financial situation n they will win.

Go n work on yourself n make better money, once they start hearing about u n how well u are doing from people, they will b d ones to call u n then u can dictate things at your own pace but now that u don't have much nobody will release those kids to u cos it's obvious u can't take care of them
Your advice is very good. I thought so too. God bless you. You be Agbalagbi🙏🙏🙏 only if he will be wise enough to take your submission.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie: 1:10pm On May 08, 2025
Babangidapikin:
Technology should make things easy, wonder why we are not practicing egoverment .. just yesterday I saw a dead body on Ibadan express way between a church and an industry with head and hand chopped off, drying in the sun of a lady with stripes cloth ... At least in Lagos you have a short code number to call, I don't know who to call in Ibadan .. no day I pass that express way towards that direction I don't see dead body.
And this is 2025 we live in. You can just imagine where Nigeria will still be in 2030. 😩😩😩😩
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by funmibi29(m): 1:48pm On May 08, 2025
Good afternoon Nairalanders,
I had an encounter like this at the same office. I went to their office to make a former report and to invite my wife and mother in law. I paid the same amount you paid. They even directed me to a man like that at the government house to give the money to buy The following week my wife responded to the invitation and came. I met with the officer a woman named Mrs Adenrele at the welfare office. To cut the long story short , what we concluded there with in the presence of my wife was that I will be paying money for the upkeep of my daughter and she will be coming to their office to collect it every 2 months because she stays at Ijebu Igbo and whenever she is coming she will come with my child for me to see . I did it for sometimes but I couldn't see my child and the welfare continue giving her the money contrary to our agreement not knowing that the welfare officer name Aderenle Mrs has collaborated with my wife and mother in law. I stopped sending money once I noticed and the woman started calling me that I have not send the previous month. I told her straight that am not sending since am not seeing my child. She is so callous, it's an office that should be eradicated since is not giving results. All what they know is money,and money. I will advice you not to waste your precious time and money. Just say a prayer for your child.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie:
funmibi29:
Good afternoon Nairalanders,
I had an encounter like this at the same office. I went to their office to make a former report and to invite my wife and mother in law. I paid the same amount you paid. They even directed me to a man like that at the government house to give the money to buy The following week my wife responded to the invitation and came. I met with the officer a woman named Mrs Adenrele at the welfare office. To cut the long story short , what we concluded there with in the presence of my wife was that I will be paying money for the upkeep of my daughter and she will be coming to their office to collect it every 2 months because she stays at Ijebu Igbo and whenever she is coming she will come with my child for me to see . I did it for sometimes but I couldn't see my child and the welfare continue giving her the money contrary to our agreement not knowing that the welfare officer name Aderenle Mrs has collaborated with my wife and mother in law. I stopped sending money once I noticed and the woman started calling me that I have not send the previous month. I told her straight that am not sending since am not seeing my child. She is so callous, it's an office that should be eradicated since is not giving results. All what they know is money,and money. I will advice you not to waste your precious time and money. Just say a prayer for your child.
This is a very cold response from a human being who wants us to believe he is a caring father. I don talk am say Nigeria, as a majority, do not understand what love is or how the love their own flesh and blood. 😩😩😩😩😩
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by funmibi29(m): 2:05pm On May 08, 2025
funmibi29:
Good afternoon Nairalanders,
I had an encounter like this at the same office. I went to their office to make a former report and to invite my wife and mother in law. I paid the same amount you paid. They even directed me to a man like that at the government house to give the money to buy The following week my wife responded to the invitation and came. I met with the officer a woman named Mrs Adenrele at the welfare office. To cut the long story short , what we concluded there with in the presence of my wife was that I will be paying money for the upkeep of my daughter and she will be coming to their office to collect it every 2 months because she stays at Ijebu Igbo and whenever she is coming she will come with my child for me to see . I did it for sometimes but I couldn't see my child and the welfare continue giving her the money contrary to our agreement not knowing that the welfare officer name Aderenle Mrs has collaborated with my wife and mother in law. I stopped sending money once I noticed and the woman started calling me that I have not send the previous month. I told her straight that am not sending since am not seeing my child. She is so callous, it's an office that should be eradicated since is not giving results. All what they know is money,and money. I will advice you not to waste your precious time and money. Just say a prayer for your child.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by MufasaLion: 2:19pm On May 08, 2025
Kobojunkie:
This is a very cold response from a human being who wants us to believe he is a caring father. I don talk am say Nigeria, as a majority, do not understand what love is or how the love their own flesh and blood. 😩😩😩😩😩
He did what he had to do. Stop rushing to comment under people's post without a logical thought.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by shortgun(m): 2:29pm On May 08, 2025
JomasisTech:
He dropped 2 links to his previous posts at the beginning of his post.
Since you're asking for an introduction, you should try reading it to know where the whole issue started from.
I am not blind, he didn't include any link to his previous posts when I commented. He modified the post after.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by shortgun(m): 2:33pm On May 08, 2025
Sunmars:
Like seriously? You expect him to start the narration all over again because you are here? Some of you are unbelievable!
The man has given links to previous details. If you interested, go and read up, if not keep shut and leave the thread. Black people with mental laziness.
Dnt bother to quote me as this right here, will suffice. Bye
Don't bother to quote you?
But you quoted me in ignorance.
There was no links to his previous posts when i commented, he only did that after my comment.
For someone who claims to be smart, you should have easily seen that
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie: 3:07pm On May 08, 2025
MufasaLion:
➜He did what he had to do. Stop rushing to comment under people's post without a logical thought.
Abandoning his children — his DNA i.e., flesh and blood—to the whims of others is of logical thought is yours, right? You people never cease to amaze with the sort of conclusions you come up with. huh
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:07pm On May 08, 2025
salem1996:
Can you drop your WhatsApp contact for me please?
08081680534

Thank you
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:07pm On May 08, 2025
Sunmars:
While I went want to agree with you, these are his kids we are talking about right here. Children are like buildings. If the foundation is not well laid, there might be problems in future and then the opportunity is lost to correct it. All he wants is just to for his kids to be attending school. What kind of evil mother will resist this?
My brother op, just do your best as God has enabled you. I wish you luck. Dont relent
Thanks
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:09pm On May 08, 2025
Sunmars:
Jeez! Some of you have comprehension problem. He wants the kids to go to school. He is not fighting for custody.
Thanks
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:11pm On May 08, 2025
showboy2301:
If I can tell you the truth, I will ask you to either leave the kids with your MIL. Firstly, they will use the kids to drain you because they know that you are emotionally attached to them. (I know what I'm saying here) Another thing is that you should start a new life and ignore your past, if you don't want to kill yourself. Start doing what gives you joy. Don't think about talking to the kids anymore. The MIL and your woman will soon start running after you. Also get yourself a friend, possibly a woman.
Noted with thanks
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:12pm On May 08, 2025
Sharpsharp00123:
she will win op anywhere so far op isn't financial buoyant that everyone can see, when it comes to cases like this, the woman tend to have upper hand cos nature believe women are wired to take care of young ones men are wired to go out n bring money
I'm not reach, but averagely ok. I have the resources to take care of the kids. Though I'm asking for the custody of the kids, I only want them enrolled in public schools in IBADAN.

Thanks for your input
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:16pm On May 08, 2025
HaneefahRN:
Something you should have gone to Agidigbo instead so they can be called out. Keep disturbing yourself with police and welfare
I have been to agidigbo, Sanisile, Iwo road.

They didn't show up. The first form I procured at Agidigbo expired. I was told to come and procure another form at #10,200.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:17pm On May 08, 2025
elmagnifico411:
don’t how we humans became this unfair to ourselves.. from your comment, it shows you didn’t read his previous posts on the matter which he even posted the link before rounding the story up. You’d have seen where wrote that he sent money, clothes and other stuff to them, where he even mentioned paying their fees directly to the head teacher of the school they would be attending, just so that their mom don’t tell lies about their schooling.


Going back and forth from Ilorin to ibadan has cost him a lot, one of the reasons he became flat the last time he went there, and had to ask for 500 naira to get to his area. Make Una Dey calm down for nairaland. All the comments before yours were “go and make money. Get rich and see them coming back for you” na so e easyhuh?
And it’s not as if he is not working. Make Una Dey calm down digest people story well before commenting. He even mentioned that he’s tried setting her up business wise 3-times, all wasted. all the people saying go and work on yourself, go and make money, how much Una don get??
May Almighty Allah continue to bless you
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie: 3:19pm On May 08, 2025
Sunmars:
➜While I went want to agree with you, these are his kids we are talking about right here. Children are like buildings. If the foundation is not well laid, there might be problems in future and then the opportunity is lost to correct it. All he wants is just to for his kids to be attending school. What kind of evil mother will resist this?
➜ My brother op, just do your best as God has enabled you. I wish you luck. Dont relent
. Most of you act like you don't understand the minds of the average Nigerian out there. OP had a child with a woman who herself was barely educated, if at all. The woman's mother is probably a stack illiterate herself who never saw value in the education system before and even now. How is she evil for resisting what she does not see as beneficial for her grandchildren, particularly given the reality of life in that country today? undecided

2. Why use the mention of this deity of yours to excuse what is nonchalance? undecided
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:22pm On May 08, 2025
IsellSmartTvs:
There’s a reason why there are only women left in their family houses,you too are also embarking on part of the reason
Give yourself peace,Time heals lot of our problem
Noted with thanks.

Na frustration they take kill their husbands
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by MufasaLion: 3:24pm On May 08, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Abandoning his children — his DNA i.e., flesh and blood—to the whims of others is of logical thought is yours, right? You people never cease to amaze with the sort of conclusions you come up with. huh
Stop this blackmail. He was showing care and he was denied the audience with his child. He stopped the financial aid just for a while just to show he is not a fool!

You can't keep collecting money from someone and still be denying him the right to his "flesh and blood!"

Stop talking with both sides of your mouth.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Sangavani: 3:24pm On May 08, 2025
You write very well and are articulate, and I really pity for you in this sad situation of yours.

Please make sure to never forsake your children because if or when you are very wealthy you will always have regrets that you could have done better, even if you marry again and have another set of children, that regret will take a very big part of your heart.

If you can, although very hard for any gender in this economic situation to do alone, but take the children away from your wife and Mother in law and raise them yourself. You seem to be well educated but not that exposed and very unlucky with the spouse you chose.( you may consider resolving if it has not gone far,far is adultery or threat to life)

Infact, probably not yet as financially buoyant as you ought to be, but if you think you can leave your children to go and make money without issues, your children may hate you for abandoning them even if you send them whatever you think they need like money provisions and clothes.

Your wife seems to be uneducated or crippled financially for her to consider exposing her children to such and not schooling them. There is nothing much a poor person can do.

Infact nothing is easy again in this country for the middle-class and below.

Take them away from your wife and Inlaws if they insist on ruining their lives by exposing them to vices, and train them in the right way by yourself.

That is if you are Man enough.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:25pm On May 08, 2025
xavuv:
Great observation. Toymax, pls take note
I have taken note. Thanks
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie: 3:27pm On May 08, 2025
MufasaLion:
➜Stop this blackmail. He was showing care and he was denied the audience with his child. He stopped the financial aid just for a while just to show he is not a fool! You can't keep collecting money from someone and still be denying him the right to his "flesh and blood!" Stop talking with both sides of your mouth.
"Showing care" and this to his own flesh and blood? Why you folks bother with having children, whom you only offer these limited "showing care" exercises to... I don't understand😩😩😩😩😩
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by altteemy: 3:36pm On May 08, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Ever heard the saying, "Action speaks louder than words?" OP says that is what he says wants; it is up to him to ensure his actions are equally guided in the direction of that which he says he desires. 🤔
In his furst post, he mentioned sending money for school fees, school bag and shoes.

He also mentioned that he would prefer making future payments directly to the school.

With this alone, he has a good stand with the welfare department. Even if he is not given the kids, the fact that the welfare could compel his wife to register the kids in school would be a great step.

If he leaves them now to chase more money, the harm of a spoilt basic education would have been done to the innocent kids.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by altteemy: 3:38pm On May 08, 2025
Honestly, the kind of customers that buy ogogoro should not be what kids should be exposed to.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by RISQUE: 3:39pm On May 08, 2025
sainthumble:
Abeg calm, no be so!
This guy see plenty red flags still carry him legs enter. grin
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie: 3:43pm On May 08, 2025
altteemy:
➜In his furst post, he mentioned sending money for school fees, school bag and shoes. He also mentioned that he would prefer making future payments directly to the school. With this alone, he has a good stand with the welfare department. Even if he is not given the kids, the fact that the welfare could compel his wife to register the kids in school would be a great step.
➜ If he leaves them now to chase more money, the harm of a spoilt basic education would have been done to the innocent kids.
You are right that he is the more competent parent in all of this but let's revisit the facts here, shall we?

⚉ OP himself chose this uneducated, unskilled woman as the mother of his kids. If he had chosen an educated woman who valued education, maybe this problem would have been halved right from before the children were even born
⚉ The uneducated, unskilled woman also has a mother who values the education of her own grandkids less than she does, having apprentices to work with her in her ogogoro store
⚉ Nigeria is a place where commonsense is rare to find - he could demand they be sent to school and even pay for it but in the end, we all know that the chances are higher that his request will be ignored at the end by the welfare department in question and the mother of the kids given what he has relayed so far.

I say all of this to posit that I have no trust in the Welfare department that exists in Nigeria today; that is why I feel OP should stick to the courts in trying to fight for custody first. undecided

2. The children are always the victims in all of this. embarassed
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Toymax88(op): 3:51pm On May 08, 2025
Update

I received another call today from NSCDC Agodi that they would come to my place of work to arrest me if I failed to come to IBADAN on Monday 12th May, 2025.

But the KWARA STATE command of the NSCDC (gender unit and tracking unit) were fully aware of the matter right from the beginning. I even paid #20k for tracking her when their whereabouts was not known

After 5 weeks of unsuccessful tracking, my money was refunded.

I would find time to visit the KWARA STATE Command of the NSCDC
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Sunmars: 3:53pm On May 08, 2025
shortgun:
Don't bother to quote you?
But you quoted me in ignorance.
There was no links to his previous posts when i commented, he only did that after my comment.
For someone who claims to be smart, you should have easily seen that
Well, I only decided to respond when I found out that at the time you responded, there was no link to the back story. My bad.
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by Kobojunkie: 3:54pm On May 08, 2025
Toymax88:
➜Update. I received another call today from NSCDC Agodi that they would come to my place of work to arrest me if I failed to come to IBADAN on Monday 12th May, 2025.
➜But the KWARA STATE command of the NSCDC (gender unit and tracking unit) were fully aware of the matter right from the beginning. I even paid #20k for tracking her when their whereabouts was not known. After 5 weeks of unsuccessful tracking, my money was refunded. I would find time to visit the KWARA STATE Command of the NSCDC
1. Why would they want to arrest you? For the assault charge your baby mama filed against you? undecided

2. Isn't this a different situation entirely from the case filed against you by your babymama in Ibadan? Are you confusing both things as the one and the same or something? undecided
Re: My Journey To the Welfare Office, Onireke, Ibadan, Was An Excercise In Futility by eastOFwest(m): 3:58pm On May 08, 2025
This whole thing. I just hope it's not someone painstakingly laying down a format to obtain money from sympathisers. I just hope
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