₦airaland Forum

Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

There is nothing wrong with being a 2nd wife as far as procreation is concerned

Onatounkiki:
➜Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
➜I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.
I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband. Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife
Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

Why are you marrying him? Can you honestly answer the questions without fear since you are anonymous here?

2. If you are really sure of your decision, why come here to ask our opinion?

1. I want to get married to him because I sincerely love him
2. He's an actual family man and I'm very sure he can lead me right
3. He's so mature with his doings. He respects me, cares for me and because he loves me
4. I need this opinion because I'm not sure if getting married as a second wife is good enough but truthfully, I'm not going there to make trouble with the first because heaven knows I really do love her and her kids.
I have asked her if the man is the one pressuring her to accept me that I won't let e know she told me and I will quietly walk away but she said there was a vision that the husband will get married to a second wife and with the way she has seen me she likes me already.
We talk almost everyday with her and the kids and I love them like mine
This man loves his wife and he's performing his duties on both the wife and the children

Kobojunkie:
Why are you marrying him? Can you honestly answer the questions without fear since you are anonymous here?

2. If you are really sure of your decision, why come here to ask our opinion?

Onatounkiki:
➜ I need this opinion because I'm not sure if getting married as a second wife is good enough but truthfully, I'm not going there to make trouble with the first because heaven knows I really do love her and her kids.
➜ I have asked her if the man is the one pressuring her to accept me that I won't let e know she told me and I will quietly walk away but she said there was a vision that the husband will get married to a second wife and with the way she has seen me she likes me already.
We talk almost everyday with her and the kids and I love them like mine
➜ This man loves his wife and he's performing his duties on both the wife and the children

. According to you, you have been dating this man for about a year now, meaning you have been aware of the existence of another wife for much of that time. You were quite OK with dating a married man, but suddenly, you are not sure if getting married as a second wife is good enough?

2. Is a vision to take a second wife the reason why the man wants to marry you? I wonder when the vision will come for him to marry a third, and maybe even a fourth or fifth wife will arrive?

3. Were you intending to remain a side chick of his then? I mean, I don't understand why you would date a married man and not expect that at some point the relationship would likely move past him just buying you gifts, stroking your hands, and blowing sweet nothings into your ear.

We never dated. The whole thing started when the man started pressuring me and I wasn't comfortable because he's married. Not until his wife called( I already like him then too), she made me know she's aware her husband likes me and with everything he told her about how he has been disturbing me right from my 100lvl days.
I met her after and we spent 2 full days together with the children.
The reason I'm seeking for people's opinion is I know I can't depend on my little brain. I'm so convinced that I love him and he loves me too but I still have to weigh my scale

Kobojunkie:
. According to you, you have been dating this man for about a year now, meaning you have been aware of the existence of another wife for much of that time. You were quite OK with dating a married man, but suddenly, you are not sure if getting married as a second wife is good enough?

2. Is a vision to take a second wife the reason why the man wants to marry you? I wonder when the vision will come for him to marry a third, and maybe even a fourth or fifth wife will arrive?

3. Were you intending to remain a side chick of his then? I mean, I don't understand why you would date a married man and not expect that at some point the relationship would likely move past him just buying you gifts, stroking your hands, and blowing sweet nothings into your ear.

Onatounkiki:
➜We never dated. The whole thing started when the man started pressuring me and I wasn't comfortable because he's married. Not until his wife called, she made me know she's aware her husband likes me and with everything he told her about how he has been disturbing me right from my 100lvl days. I met her after and we spent 2 full days together with the children.
➜The reason I'm seeking for people's opinion is I know I can't depend on my little brain. I'm so convinced that I love him and he loves me too but I still have to weigh my scale

1. The wife, who believed that a vision came in for her husband to marry another wife, helped convince you that her husband is the one you should want?

2. Something tells me you are not sure you love him, and he is right for you. That alone is your brain telling you all you need to know about this union you are fixing to get into.

Onatounkiki:
Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

Nothing wrong in being a second wife.

How old is the man, just a range?
How financially capable is he?
I guess you had no children before, is the man ready to have more children?

He's 38, not rich but he's doing well for himself.
He has 3 kids already
He's ready to have more kids

Helpout12345:
Nothing wrong in being a second wife.

How old is the man, just a range?
How financially capable is he?
I guess you had no children before, is the man ready to have more children?

I think he's good for me
We've bonded so well that sometimes I don't feel he's married
Our relationship has been mostly distance since it started

Kobojunkie:
1. The wife, who believed that a vision came in for her husband to marry another wife, helped convince you that her husband is the one you should want?

2. Something tells me you are not sure you love him, and he is right for you. That alone is your brain telling you all you need to know about this union you are fixing to get into.

Onatounkiki:
Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

No love lost
No love found

When the third Wify show face nor come back ask for opinion o

Jaiye lor

Onatounkiki:
✓ I think he's good for me
We've bonded so well that sometimes I don't feel he's married Our relationship has been mostly distance since it started

Are you trying to convince us or are you attempting to convince yourself of these things?

Onatounkiki:
He's 38, not rich but he's doing well for himself.
He has 3 kids already
He's ready to have more kids

Those are good.

Are you ready to cope in case he marries another wife in future?

Are you employed yourself ?? If not what are the plans to be gainfully employed in the marriage

Onatounkiki:
➜I think he's good for me We've bonded so well that sometimes I don't feel he's married Our relationship has been mostly distance since it started

Wait a second... You have not dated this man at all, according to you, and your relationship has been mostly distant? Then, why and how are you so convinced he is good for you?

You say you have bonded with him so well that sometimes you don't feel he is married, but the reality is this man comes with a wife and 3 kids already attached to him. And we are not even discussing his true financial situation here because all you probably know of his financials are stories that he has fed you...yes, stories. What happens when you have to wake up every day to his wife and 3 kids in your face after you marry him? What happens if and when another vision comes in, and he begins to treat another woman like he were not married?

Christian and second wife, I am not understanding.
Will you be willing for him to add more wives after marrying you?
He's not rich and wants to add you to dilute the already scarce resources for his wife and children.
Dear OP, are you well to do financially as he'll need your support.
What's the guarantee that the first wife isn't pretending?
Or you're desperate to answer Mrs......

Why not? As long as you're okay with him having a third wife.

Go with your instincts and do what it tells you. Stop looking for doubts online. These people online don't know him as much as you do. Follow your instincts. The best way to know a man is through his wife and it looks like you know him from how his wife knew you. Good luck.

Marry him but don't live under the same roof with the other wife

Op leave someone husband and go find your own husband. Something fishy is going on but you dont know. For the mans wife to come by herself and tell you she is ok with it shows Something is going on behind the scene. You could be a piece in an experiment probably to be used to satisfy their sexual fetish and all.

Go and find a single man and get married. Dont say i didn't warn you. Go and ask other polygamous homes and find out how its faring. Only one will give positive review out of 100.

Dear @op
Are you sure it is just a "vision" that makes the first wife accept you as her second?

Would you do the same if you're the first wife?

Does the man plan to keep you in the same house?

I feel you still need to ask more questions cos women can share many things but a husband? Willingly? Taar....

Make them no put you for middle oo

Madam there is nothing absolutely wrong in this. The women in this world can go round 6 to one man. So don't let the ideology of the white men confuse you go in there and have peace.

Onatounkiki:
Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

At bolded you people joke too much lol

Would you mind being a 1st wife then your husband takes another wife after marrying you? That is your answer

…don’t forget a man that takes a 2nd wife, would like take a third wife. Don’t say you were not told and start disturbing with nonsense complaints later.

*********************************
When people bring things like this online, it’s obvious their minds have told them the answer and they are not prepared to listen to it. They come online seeking validation to justify their impending mumuness

Take @OP for example, like we are going to live with her when the 1st wife starts waging war on all front . Some people no just like peace.

While I have no doubt that a human is very capable of showing love to more than one other human - I am also without doubt, that humans have a natural animal instinct - territorialism - the fight to protect scarce resource.


Your use of the term "Christians" and the adultery of the man you have tagged "distant relationship" should not be used in the same sentence - you have not had sex - not physically you mean.

The wife's buying into a vision, makes it even more weird and can almost give a correct guess about her financial/education standing in the marriage - if she's not dependent on "Yes Sir" to all her husband's whims she no go gree - women protest against polygamy, not because they seek to monopolize the man's phallus, but because they want to secure their children's hold on his estate (time and wealth).

Unless you have money, and are really okay to accept whatever follows after "potentially", the by all means, you're a big girl - get married. But if your decision is borne out of pressure of age, or because he seems to be the only male trying to win you over, then I guess go play game and save yourself from whatever is pressuring you - trust your instincts and take responsibility.

Onatounkiki:
Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

Trust your instincts.
Goodluck

" We have not had sex"

I am sure that's a lie.

"He's not rich but doing well for himself"

That I also find hard to believe. You have not had sex with a guy... he's not particularly well to do, yet you want to go and do 2nd.

" His first wife called to say it's okay, you're welcome... you even spent 2 days with them"

What was the sleeping arrangement those nights ? He refused to touch you because he's Jesus's cousin, abi ?

This story is fictional or laced with some lies.

Okay 👍

Women don't have a problem being a second wife as long as the man is rich.

But that's not even the issue. My major concern is, was his first marriage just a traditional marriage? Because if they did court/registry marriage, you cannot marry that man because that is a federal offense (bigamy)

No, there is nothing wrong with getting married as a second wife. If there is equality, consent of all involved parties, love and respect, it will work.

Most importantly, make sure he is capable enough to provide for all of you. Polygamy is reserved exclusively for capable men.

Lol what a fictional tales by moonlight, the christian and not rich part cancelled your fable as 100% lies.

Lol...A christian has no business marrying a second wife. In addition, an educated 38 years old man wanting to take a second wife is a red flag. The question is, why does he want another wife since his legal wife is not troubling him? Girl, run for your life because I smell a rat. All that niceness from the first wife isn't real, she is just acting a script. That man has a plan and wants to use you to perfect that plan. Be wise!

JovialJune:
Lol what a fictional tales by moonlight, the christian and not rich part cancelled your fable as 100% lies.

I have been a witness to such stories before, so it could be real. She says he isn't rich, but he could be comfortable and can afford to give her the basic things. Nowadays, anyone who goes to church is a Christian, if you know what I mean.

Onatounkiki:
Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

@bold:

Remove it from your post first then ask again.