₦airaland Forum

Ahmed0336:
Oga lemme be honest with you, once your wife starts to notice you no longer beg for sex and you're always happy, that's when things will fall back in place.
I don't have to tell you what to do.

Apprentis

Take this advice seriously

This post has been removed.

She might have been cheating on you. She doesn't have feeling for you again. She might have seen someone better than you financially. Just be focus on your future and ignore her like she doesn't exist. Take good care of yourself and the children. Women don't love their men as we men love them.

I think you are just looking for validation to cheat.

You already have your mind made up and you know exactly what to do.

apprentist:
See eh... I had to type this here cus I've run out of ideas. Don't know who to talk to or even next step to take.
Back then I used to blame men for cheating or fighting with their wife. But now, I'm pushed to do either.

Find girl dey , no dey stress yourself. Na woman you dey karamo like this , just dey play. Make more money, pay bills and flex yourself. If woman don start dey make their money like this them dey prove yeye thing. Same money majority of them can't put together to help the family. You better no let one woman stress you . Find another woman dey Bleep .

apprentist:
It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

Bros, she see you like that ni se.

Onegai:
And that's it from me, Phabulous4 and apprentis and every other husband with young kids and a dwindling sexx life out there.

It's not really her job, because even when she's at work, if Junior runs a temperature, it's Mummy the school will call, not Daddy. So her mind is never really there (women take a career hit when they have kids, globally).

So with kids, then work and life, you, her husband, will get neglected.

I'm sorry it happens but that is Life and we can't be selfish and choose our happiness and then destroy our marriage over pleasure that was just there in your house, if only you could have safeguarded your marriage.

Phabulous4, you even admitted you're losing your libido small. That is so very common for men, same life and stresses are getting to you. Start planning where you will ditch those kids in August for 2 weeks and save up money for Netflix and Chill with your baddie wife. Get some "Me Time" with her and remind her you're still her boyfriend

I hope this helps and this is the start of a new, wonderful journey and season in your life.

Sorry for breaking my replies into several places. Not only were they long, the circumstances that led to the hot fok of 7-8 yrs ago with my spouse, were repeated (almost, he stepped up domestically) in August 2022 and now the Consequences Of My Actions is scribbling with red crayon on the floor, he just decided to start jumping onto the floor from a chair laughing hysterically and I'm hiding to type this. You don't wanna be me and be doing Primary School runs at age 50.

So my last advice to you is: Gold Circle, Kiss, Durex or Trojan. Very important.

Good luck, bros. You got this 👍🏽

I no blame you but the man

NwaAmaikpe:



We have all been misled for so long, but it is best we demystify this myth, not for ourselves but for posterity and people in your shoes; because you will soon be gaslighted by woke people who will call you inconsiderate, selfish, nagging and not supportive enough.

First things first, she has to quit the job and be a housewife for a while if you are to salvage your relationship.

Sex is not a want, it is a need.
A human need, which comes with an urge....just the same way as hunger.

We all know that women view marriage as a trophy that gives them the privilege of the title 'Mrs' and having children, but she should not rub it on your face that your job is done.

It is justified to come back from work really drained and not have the appetite for sex, just like it is possible to come back so drained from work that you can't even eat till you've rested.
You've not written anywhere that you chuck your preek straight at her face once she walks through the door, so I just have to believe that you initiate sex when you have assessed it to be alright to.

As long as a person is not mentally or emotionally distressed wherein a temporary loss in appetite arises,
(emphasis on the word temporary, because when someone gets a terrible news, they'd instantly lose the appetite for food, and grieve for days but they eventually recommence eating).

So a persistent refusal of intimacy and becoming workcentric despite appeals and interventions from her parents is a symptom of an even more malignant problem.
How come the same woman who is too tired for sex, is not too tired to breastfeed her kids; simply because it is a need.
But these are both needs?

My worry even gets worse with your concern about the kids not getting much attention from her.
If her job is not what the family survives on, why will she be that passionate to work on public holidays, school holidays, and every Saturday?
Reflect on this and you'd see, you alone enabled her!

Verily, verily, I can say unto you, if the Holy Bible deemed it fit to equate a mother's love and attention for her own kids as unshakeable, then you do not need a native doctor to tell you there is a big distraction somewhere.

A big distraction that she has become addicted to, because every woman who has cheated will tell you that there is nothing as addictive as the attention from a strange man.
So break the addiction and get her to quit that job ASAP.

God forbid that a woman you married with your own money does not get turned on when you touch her.
It is a natural response to stimuli, because that same woman who has painted sex with you to be a difficult chore will get drenchingly wet if she reads an erotic novel, watch porn or gets fiddled by another man.

Social media, streaming sites, greed, an excess of men ever-ready to shag people's wifes and acute poverty has made Nigerian women extremely susceptible to not just being distracted but ultimately unfaithful.

If she does not value your preek, look for someone who will. But because no one will love your preek like you, try to masturrbate a bit more as you seek clarity to this misfortune in your relationship.

Because like I said when i started off, sex is a need and if she does not want to get this need from you, who then is meeting this need for her when she leaves your house for work?

I will forever respect you....the great one

My brother, marrying a second wife means digging your grave !see i have been in that situation, this is not you're a man issue .. use wisdom,try talking to her like chai this work is taking my wife off me o jokingly telling her.Make her laugh saying,even if you position missionary style better than going out o hmm, please i don't want to cheat on you, you no sabi scope woman...?You will carry different demons inside your home once you start going out, please be guilded.

Mosco100:
You should never bring this online. You both should take your Spiritual life serious. Spend quality time to pray together and study God's word together. Everything will be alright, in Jesus' Name. Amen.

What does spiritual life and prayer has to do with sexual needs?... alot of you are off hinges without realising it!

The statement I hate hearing is my kid are my priority


Believe me, you only marry her because of good sex not because you love her, you're just a simp

What if God didn't you guys children.

Try do DNA 🧬 to know if they are you children

apprentist:
It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

KillahPriest:
you don't know anything

things dey happen.

Winneygirl:
So you cannot sit with your wife and map out how to get a different job?
You cannot review her CV with her and look out for more flexible jobs?
You think she likes working herself to the bones? How much do you have to give her to start up a business?
Do you know how much capital is needed to adequately start something viable? What of the time needed to grow the business?

Instead of being practical and taking the right action to safeguard your family income, you are here moving funny.
If your income alone was enough to keep your family afloat, she will not be working so hard.

Look inwards. Be practical and start looking for a more flexible job for her.

Rubbish as always

spiceadole:
The prostitutes that you men patronise,did you marry them?

Is marriage only for sex?

Funny!


I haven't allowed my husband to touch me this year.
Let him divorce me because of lack of sex ..
Everytime sex this,sex that
Mtcheeeeeeew

You haven't not allowed your husband to touch you this year. Hope you have son

When it's not that he's hiv positive.

God will reward you instantly

[quote author=apprentist post=135462000]Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

My brother, I understand your case. Please give yourself a re-orientation about s*x in marriage. The foundation of your relationship was strongly built on it and that is not sustainable enough. Your wife is going quite a lot and needs your understanding. It seems you're less busy than she is hence your strong energy and inclination to sex. She is trying to cope with daily stress, when she wasn't doing the job, you guys had your time together. She is not cheating on you, neither is she finding the new life easy. If you don't get your mind more productively engage, you may end up sleeping with the housemaid to satisfy this unquenchable quest for sex. If you stop her from working, is your finance healthy enough to sustain the family knowing the challenges around businesses now? Sit with her, and engage on various options peculiar to your home that will work so that both of you will take ownership of the effect. Alternatively, if housemaid option is okay, let it be close family relation. This is an increased cost as well.

i see that u are also making the work comfortable for her. let her driver herself to work or probably pays her transport to work then she will put one or two together and know if the work is really worth it.
as for you reduce ur urge for sex, too much of everything is bad. u cannot be having sex every day. na somebody pikin be that.

spiceadole:
The prostitutes that you men patronise,did you marry them?

Is marriage only for sex?

Funny!


I haven't allowed my husband to touch me this year.
Let him divorce me because of lack of sex ..
Everytime sex this,sex that
Mtcheeeeeeew

to leave the marriage don dey hungry u since. you now want to use this as an excuse. And i must tell you, that u married a weak man. somebody like me would have made the house uncomfortable for. nobody go tell u to pack, before u pack and run away for the sake of ur sanity.

Oga Op,
What do you do for a living ? Is your earning power ( finance ) above that of your wife? If so, set up a good business for your wife. Run the business operation 3- 6months, afterwards get your wife to resign from her current job and hand over the reigns of the business to her with guidance. She has learnt to be an employee for so long likewise she can learn to become an employer nothing is difficult to be learnt.

If you have got high libido completely avoid employing a female house maid( relative or stranger). Always be patient with sex in marriage you have got enough years ahead with your wife. Firstly balance up your family finance. ( Money solves problems in marriage ).

Trust me , no woman enjoys stress and working as a slave for someone else. If you set things in motion the right way you will enjoy your woman .

lexy2014:
why should he not care about sex?

so because he has to care for his kids he should not care abo0ut sex?

why then is he married?

what has poverty got to do with wanting sex?

all the small girls buying big phones, cars and doing BBL, where are they getting money for those things and what are they giving in exchange for those gifts?

are you rich?

so you think getting married is to have sex? You still a boy I guess

Sammy5413:
so you think getting married is to have sex? You still a boy I guess

Dinosaur, you have not answered my questions.

1. why should he not care about sex?

2. so because he has to care for his kids he should not care abo0ut sex?

3. why then is he married?

4. what has poverty got to do with wanting sex?

5. all the small girls buying big phones, cars and doing BBL, where are they getting money for those things and what are they giving in exchange for those gifts?

6. are you rich?

spiceadole:
I can't remember the last time I had sex.
I'm very sure it has not happened this year After childbirth,I felt there was no reason to continue stressing myself in the name of sex.

I'm so sorry for men. They can't stay without sex.
Pity

It is biological - testosterone. The same hormone makes men what they are. It is a pity many men are derided for exercising their right to have sex, a basic biological phenomenon.

Since you have more time on your hands than she does. Support her in looking out for a new job. Send out her CV in your spare time. I am sure she also hates having to work almost every day of her life, that kind of work isn't even good for her health and she has to come back home to continue to work as a mum and wife, chores and being expected to present for sex when she is being worked to the bones. If your work is enough to cover all the bills and pay her salary to stay home you can explore that option too while she looks for a new job with better work life balance. Or if you can set up a solid business for her ( not one you will expect her to contribute to the bills from while it is still new though)

dawnomike:
Sorry about what you're going through... I can understand how frustrating it can be.

Please, don't get pissed off just yet... If it's an option, get her a housemaid to help out at home.

Secondly, any weekend she is not working... you guys should hang out like the old good days. If possible, leave the kids with your parents and go lodge in a good hotel.

Also, sit down with her to have an open discussion on the need to save your marriage...

I believe she starting a business is a good opinion... But remember, it is not everyone that is cut out for that.

I wish you the best in your marriage... Please, try to safe it!!!

God bless you for this. You are a wise and mature person.

Zocalite:
You haven't not allowed your husband to touch you this year. Hope you have son

When it's not that he's hiv positive.

God will reward you instantly

I have 3 children.
Male and female.
Let me be alive for my children.
Let a selfish man not use sex and kill me.
Everytime sex..is Sex food,water or oxygen?

deavicky:
to leave the marriage don dey hungry u since. you now want to use this as an excuse. And i must tell you, that u married a weak man. somebody like me would have made the house uncomfortable for. nobody go tell u to pack, before u pack and run away for the sake of ur sanity.

He is the person who will pack out,if anybody should pack out.
I don't stop him from having his sex elsewhere since he came to this world to have sex.

Gerrard59:
It is biological - testosterone. The same hormone makes men what they are. It is a pity many men are derided for exercising their right to have sex, a basic biological phenomenon.

What happened to self control?

spiceadole:
What happened to self control?

A man needs to have consistent sexual intercourse. It is his biological right. Outrightly denying a man his conjugal rights, and being cocky about it, is very bad. In your words, you don't even care about the man's feelings but yours alone. Tell me, why should a married woman deny her husband sex and be proud about it?

Well, good luck to such men.

E come be like say na you the matter pain pass. 😀
Anyways, them go dey alright sha.

dkidd:
She knew how and who he was before saying yes to his proposal. She knows he has a high libido. So how does she expect him to cope from the steady denials? What sort of woman will deny her husband sex constantly because of work? It's possible she's getting it elsewhere because people do not just change. She used to like it now she detests it and according to op she even acts like he's irritating now so obviously he's most likely replaced. He's a good man sha. I pity the woman that will try sex as a tool with me under any guise lol a real pity 😂

Mariangeles:
E come be like say na you the matter pain pass. 😀
Anyways, them go dey alright sha.

Lol no be only pain... I just wish a lot of women will finally understand that what we want isn't complicated at all. We are the most simple creatures God created. It doesn't take much to hold a man but majority of women will never know